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Chapter 9

I can't believe you're gone

They told me that you got murdered in a flower shop and that the murderer was still at large.

I didn't believe it, to begin with, then eventually I realised it wasn't a bad dream, it was real.

"It can't be" I remember saying, I kept on repeating to myself, "He can't be dead... he can't be I just saw him 4 hours ago and he was fine- perfectly fine. Fine." The police soon left and asked me whether they would like me to contact the rest of the family. I said yes just to get them to leave.

As soon as they had gone I wandered around the house looking at your stuff, the tennis trophy that you had won not that long ago, your favourite hoodie... and then our wedding photo.

That's when I couldn't hold it in anymore, my life had fallen apart. I didn't know what to do anymore, I didn't even know who I was anymore.

As the days went on, not that I could tell anyway. Your family planned your funeral as I didn't have the strength or energy to during those days I kept on begging God pleading with him saying, "Please God! Bring him back! I swear I'll treat him better just please give him back to me."

We had your funeral and that was the first time I saw you since that day. Seeing you lying there lifeless when you had always been the life and soul of the party out of the both of us, just felt weird wrong.

I wrote a speech about how you were the love of my life and how I'll always love you and that I'd make sure that all of our dreams would come true.

Every day I visit your grave and just talk to you like we usually did. Call me crazy but it feels like you're still here. I can feel it.

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