Stiles's POV

I could feel my magic rising under my skin as I drove, but I felt I could hold it out, and just like always, I was wrong.

So I pulled over to the first patch of woods that I could see, and ran as far as I could as fast as I could into the trees. I collapsed to my knees and desperately tried to hold it back, but before I could a wave of magic came surging out of my body and knocked out at least five trees before finally dying down.

They all had holes blown through the middle of the trunk, and had further cracks lining up towards the leaves.

This is the only way I could keep control. To just let it out in large bursts meant that it wouldn't have long enough to consume me before I let it all out.

Thinking it was best to let my energy replenish itself for a moment I stayed down on my knees before finally deciding that I was okay enough to get off the ground.

Should I be driving right now?

No.

I should definitely not be driving at all right now.

But the thing is, do I actually care about the fact that I shouldn't be driving right now?

Also no.

So with that logic, (logic that gets me in trouble more often than it should) I got back behind the wheel and made my way back to Derek's loft.

Which was way farther than I had remembered it being, may I add.

.....

He was sitting on the couch waiting for me when I got back. Most likely reading some old book he found in boxes. As soon as I walked in the door he grabbed my school backpack and my duffel bag,  set those aside, and ushered me to the couch where he had just been sitting before.

He was like a mom in book club, just itching for an ounce of gossip, even though Derek definitely isn't like that.

"So how'd it-"

"Honestly Derek, I know you're being the best boyfriend on the planet, but can we please talk about it tomorrow. I just don't know if I can do it tonight."

Now that I'm thinking about it, that came out way meaner than I had meant it to which wasn't fair to him at all, but since he is the best boyfriend on the planet, he understood that I was just having a bad day and that I really didn't mean what I was saying in the way I was saying it.

He nodded and pulled a box out from behind the couch, which he then handed to me.

I looked at it shocked and gave him the look as if to ask, 'is this for me?'

He nodded once more even though I hadn't actually said anything, and I opened the box.

Long story short....

It was a storm trooper onesie.

"You didn't."

"Oh...I did." He smirked as he gestured towards the tv which has Star Wars Empire Strikes Back paused on the screen.

"No offense, but I figured it wouldn't go great, so I had this ready for when you came back so that way you could watch something that made you happy....sorry if it's too cheesy."

I laughed and playfully nudged him with my hand.

"Are you kidding me? This might be the nicest thing that anyone's done for me ever. Now let me go put this on while you make popcorn. Then you're in for two hours of a cinematic masterpiece."

I jumped up and practically ran up the swirly stairs to the bathroom to change.

Empire is literally the best Star Wars movie of all time, and no one can change my mind on that. The only other answer I'd accept is A New Hope, but only because it's the one that started it all, and that kind of makes it the best to most people.

.....

The night went pretty fast from there, and I loved to think that even if it felt like the whole world was against me, I would always have Derek by my side.

He's the Rose to my Jack or the Jack to my Rose. He's the Han to my Leia or he's the Alec to my Magnus even though he likes Magnus more.

I can't shake the feeling that him and I were always meant to find each other, and that we'll continue to find each other with each and every passing lifetime. That's what soulmates do.

I just wish that there wasn't this constant magic knife above my head, ready to strike at any moment, or take control of me at any other. There's a part of me that knows that it's only so long before it consumes me, and that I need to spend this time with the people I care about while I still can, but the other part of me, the scared part of me, knows that I should turn my back and run before I end up hurting them.

Hurting the people you love is something that no one ever wants to have to do. But there's a time where it comes to a decision.

Would it hurt them more if I were to leave them now? Or would it hurt more for them if they had to see me lose this everlasting battle with myself?

That's the question no one wants to answer, and there'll be a time when I have to answer it, and no matter what, it's going to suck either way for me. But maybe, just maybe it'll be enough to save them from what they'll have to do if I lose control.

On that note...

I curled up closer to Derek because of the mind numbing fear that I'll lose him and wipe away a tear that had formed from the thoughts.

"You okay?" He asked.

I couldn't lie, or he would know, so I had to figure something out.

So I shook my head no and looked up at him looking down at me.

"But I will be. Just...just stay with me okay?"

He intertwined our fingers and gently squeezed my hand.

"Always."