Draco Malfoy's POV:

As soon as Pansy walked into the Great hall, I started to worry.

My first reason for this was the fact that she was late.

Pansy is never late for anything. She was with me when we let the Death Eaters into the school (afraid I'd get hurt), and arrived there half an hour early. But now, she was only just in time for the sorting.

My second reason would be the way there was a downright evil grin plastered on her face.

It was a grin that would have sent the Weasly Twins into applause if it anyone else than Pansy Parkinson had worn it.

And finally, the fact she hardly greeted Blaise and me and ignored the disapproving glares from the other students.

Instead of what she'd usually do (hug us and tell all the other to look at something else, before they'd never see anything again at all), Pansy just stared at the chair in front of the teachers' table, as if she waited for something to happen.

'Pansy,' I whispered, 'what did you do?'

She chuckled, 'I've broken no rules, Drake. I merely thought we should start off happily this year.'

I wanted to ask what she meant by that, but at that moment, McGonagall walked forward, holding the Sorting Hat, before placing it on the chair.

'This year,' it spoke, in a voice a few pitches higher than usual, 'we will do my song after the sorting.'

The words caused a murmur to erupt, from both students and teachers. Even McGonagall seemed surprised, but she called forward the first-years anyway.

'Asildra, Louise!'

When the girl sat down, the head hiding her eyes, I could have sworn I saw the hat smile.

'She's SO Slytherin, girlfriend!'

For a moment, everyone was quiet, until Pansy started to laugh hysterically. The girl called Louise blushed a dark scarlet, and took off the hat, handing it to McGonagall, who seemed not at all pleased.

'Miss Parkinson!' she exclaimed, 'Did you charm the Sorting Hat?'

Pansy was too busy laughing to answer, but after a few moments, she calmed down.

'I checked the- the school rules, prof- professor. I break n-none. I hoped it would be a nice start of t-term.' She couldn't help herself from snickering, 'There's no c-countercurse, professor. It'll w-wear off in a few h-hours.'

McGonagall looked ready to kill, 'I will debate with your head of house on the punishment. I hope this is a one-time thing, miss Parkinson.'

She cleared her throat, 'Bailey, Jessica!'

Once again, the hat amazingly declared the house, 'She's hot! Like fire! Red hot, like Gryffindor!' Somehow, it made itself seem like a cheerleader.

Pansy started laughing again, and now many others joined in, causing McGonagall to shoot daggers at the totally unimpressed Slytherin.

I had to admit, she was a bloody genius.

'Bailey, Samuel!'

'Drumstang!' The cry was followed by a moment of silence, 'Just kidding! Gryffindor!'

The hat continued, now singing its own version of a song for every student. Its violation of Welcome to the Jungle, Take on me and Run for your life were hilarious.

'She wanted para-para-paradise!

But Hufflepuff would also be a great surprise!'

'Always look on the bright side of life,

In the Ravenclaw tower, you will thrive!'

I'd never have imagined a hat could whistle, it didn't even have lips. But like its vocalization, it was rather impressive.

At some point, after she'd fallen off her chair for the third time, Pansy transfigured a spoon into a guitar and started playing the cords for the hat's songs.

'Watson, Anna!'

'I say I don't like you, but you know I am a liar!

She deserves the house, with the colour of FIRE!'

The girl basically fled towards the Gryffindor table, while the hat started to vocalize once again, before singing its song, this time with a melody reminding me of the rock concerts I used to visit.

After the feast, when we were back in the dungeons, Pansy was still unable to stiff her laughter.

'I hadn't expected it to go that well! Did you hear Slughorn singing along at that last one?'

I chuckled, 'Pans, you really are a genius. Monty Python? Coldplay? A-ha? Guns 'n fucking Roses? Who taught you that charm?'

Of course, she didn't tell me.

'Just a little something I picked up over the years. Now, would you say that again, about me being a genius?'

A genius the was, but one with an enormous ego.