Chapter EIGHT

At home, I pulled into the driveway behind my dad's car and turned it off. Our Christmas lights were blinding, green and red everywhere. My mom's blow up Santa was as tall as I was, and lived on our front lawn all December long. She loved Christmas.

Inside, the Christmas music was blasting, as expected. I dropped my purse on the table and went through the kitchen towards the living room, where I saw my mom, her phone to her ear.

"Okay, great. I'll be there," she was saying. "Yes, 2P.M. Got it."

When she turned and saw me, she smiled, waving. I could tell she was still listening to whoever was on the other end of the line.

I waved back but turned back towards the kitchen. There, I poured myself a glass of wine and sat, sipping it. It had been a crazy day, and I knew the next few days would be the same. My parents didn't mind if I drank, at home, even though I was over a year away from legal drinking age.

"How was your day, honey?" my mom asked, coming into the room a minute later.

She was short and thin, with long dark hair, like mine. I kept mine shorter now, in a long bob. Hers was always in a braid down her back. She wore glasses now, usually for reading and driving. She and I were never close when I was younger. She had four kids and a demanding job. She was always working. And when I was in high school, well, I wasn't easy to get along with.

Now, her and I were friends, for real. Which was both amazing and unbelievable to me. I was the only one of her four kids who still lived at home. Yes I was nineteen, an adult. We were at a totally different place in our lives now. And we were friends.

"It was so busy. Not that that's a surprise," I replied, taking a donut out of the box on the counter.

"The mall, a week before Christmas? Of course it was busy!" She smiled, then also took a donut for herself. "You're bringing Rylee here for dinner on Christmas Eve, right?"

I nodded, then bit into the donut. I was also grateful for how supportive my parents were of me helping out Kaden, with his daughter. They loved her, too.

"We are going to see Santa, then we will come back here. Kaden has to work until 10P.M."

"Right. What's the plan for Christmas Day?" she asked, now pouring herself a glass of wine.

"Kaden is off, so they are staying home. They'll come over in the evening, I think," I told her.

"Great. I have a gift for her," she smiled. "Dalton is flying in tomorrow, with Trinity."

I nodded, but knew the feeling in my stomach at the mention of my brother was anxiousness. While I was able to overcome issues with my mom, my brothers and I were still a bit rocky. Michael had been gone a long time, and wasn't coming home for Christmas. His girlfriend of three years had family in Chicago, where they lived. Michael didn't come home often. Dalton went to college in Indiana and he and his girlfriend, Trinity, flew back to Florida as often as they could. Dylan was in college and playing football in Jacksonville, so he was only a few hours away. He would be driving in on Christmas Eve. I hadn't seen any of them much over the last two years and also felt a bit of dread knowing we would all be together. They still thought of me as their baby sister. But they weren't there for me when I was having a hard time. In fact, they pretended they didn't know me at school, that next school year . And then they graduated and were gone, leaving me behind.

I didn't have a boyfriend. I wasn't settling down, or going to college. I had a best friend, Kaden, and a work friend, who I had sex with sometimes. And I had Rylee.

"I can't wait to have everyone together for Christmas," my mom went on, sipping her wine.

Of course she couldn't wait. She had spent most of her time when we were younger working. We rarely even ate meals together as a family. We never went on vacations together. Now that we were grown up, and she worked less, she wanted to get us all together. Well, we were spread out now, and had our own lives. She was waiting for grand kids, I was pretty sure.

"No Michael?" I asked, even though this was a touchy subject around our house.

She sipped her drink, sighing. "I can't force him to come back to see his family."

"I know. Plus, he's twenty-five. He has Rose -"

She shook her head, and I knew not to say any more. "It's Christmas. He should make the effort, but..."

"You're right," I agreed. "Where's dad?"

Her face changed, for the better. "Oh, he's in bed. You know him, he worked hard today."

My dad was now retired from his twenty-year career and worked part time as his own boss - he was a handy man, you could say. He had a good clientele and did things like electrical repairs, plumbing, dry walling. It was his passion.

"Okay, well I work early tomorrow..." I let my voice trail off, finishing my donut.

She nodded again. "Oh, grab me a smoothie from the Creamery before you come home?"

I smiled, because she asked this often. "Of course."

In my bedroom, I settled into pajamas and grabbed my current read - a romance novel - from my dresser. My bed was cozy and I pulled my blanket up to my chest before opening the book.

I'd only been reading for a few minutes when my phone buzzed.

    You get home okay? A text from Finn.

    Yep. Already in bed, I sent back. It was almost 11P.M.

    Oh ok. I was hoping you'd want to have dinner tomorrow? Or a drink, when I get off work?

Oh, maybe. I should be off at 4pm. I have to open at 9am.

Right. Well, see you there. Gnight.

Night, Finn.

I shouldn't have been surprised, each time he attempted to take me out on a date. It happened often, if not weekly, but I tried to make sure he knew that if I agreed, it was nothing more than friendly. But then we would have a couple drinks at his apartment and end up doing more than friendly things. I didn't regret it. But I knew it was getting complicated.

But it was Christmastime and I was soon going to be surrounded by my brothers and their girlfriends. Maybe dating Finn wouldn't be so bad? Maybe it would actually be great? Likely, though, I'd chicken out and end up turning him down, or telling him we were just friends, before anything more could come of it. I knew the reason that I didn't allow myself to get close in that way, with anyone. I knew it was because of how I'd been hurt, when I was fifteen. But I was an adult now, and all I could do was hope to push past it, possibly opening myself up to something better.