Chapter SIX

My mom wasn't impressed by being woken up to the doorbell at 2A.M. Her hair was a mess and she was confused, but she hugged me, pulling me into the house. She thanked the officer, and then shut the door.

   I wasn't even tired. I was still in shock. The officer had only told her that I got picked up after a report of a fight, and that I had been cleared as not a suspect or involved in the situation.

   Now, my mom looked at me with tired eyes. My heart was pounding again. Had it stopped pounding at all for the past two hours?

   "Why the hell were you even out there? In the middle of the night?"

   Before I could answer, she pulled me close and hugged me again. She kept me close, like she was afraid I might run again.

   "Carson called. He was... he..."

   "Of course it was him," she said, stepping back a bit. "Sweetie, I know you care about him, but-"

   "He loves me," I told her loudly. "I love him."

   Carson had only told me he loved for the first time, that same night in the cop car. But I had loved him for months. I hadn't told him, but I was sure that he knew.

   "Arden, you're just a kid. I shouldn't have let you spend so much time with him -"

   "Mom! You're never home! And he was in trouble. He still is, he needs me." I was shaking, I was so mad.

   "You can't help him, Arden." She looked a little sad for me. "Now, go to bed. We will talk about this tomorrow."

   I wanted to yell and scream and tell her that I could help him. I had to. But I nodded and went up to my bedroom instead. I was fifteen. How I was going to save him?

   Two days passed, and I hadn't heard from him. There was only three days until the first day of school, but I just didn't care about that now. Carson's cell phone was off. I couldn't think straight, not knowing if he was okay. I didn't eat or sleep - I was sort of just in a zombie-like state. I called around to see if anyone had heard from him, but Kaden only knew what I knew. No one else knew anything.

   By evening on the second day, I was so close to walking to Carson's house. I made it half way there before changing my mind - something had happened there, and I was too afraid of finding out what it was. It had been three months since I'd gone this long without talking to him, and all I had in my mind was the memory of being separated at the police station. And, of course, him saying he loved me in the police car.

   "Let's go shopping for some new school stuff?" my mom tried, the weekend before school would start back.

   She had a Saturday off, which hadn't happened in awhile. I was sure she had somehow reduced her hours at work since this had happened. Maybe she finally felt bad for never being around or leaving me to fend for myself all summer.

   "No, thanks," I told her, barely looking up from my coffee.

   "I know you're worried, but I'm sure he will show up at school on Monday, and everything will be fine," she told me, quite the optimist.

   I shook my head, because my gut feeling was that was not going to happen. I felt panic throughout my body, just thinking about not seeing him at school, or whenever I wanted. I had to know where he was and why he wasn't getting in touch with me. The waiting almost killed me.

   Finally, the night before the first day of school, my sophomore year, Carson called. The number wasn't his, but I answered anyway, my hand shaking. I just had a feeling.

   "Arden, listen to me," he said, just after I answered.

   "Cars-"

   "Listen. I shouldn't have called you that night." He paused, and my heart sank deep into my stomach. "And I shouldn't have said what I did, in the police car."

   "What?" I was confused. "What do you mean?" I knew what he meant. He meant he shouldn't have told me that he loved me.

   "I'm not good for you. You need to move on, okay?" His voice sounded unusual; like he was being forced to say the words.

   "Carson, no."

   "Please, Arden. I won't be at school. I'm leaving town," he told me, finally some emotion in his voice.

   "What do you mean you won't be at school?" I asked, as if he was going to tell me.

   "I can't get into it, Arden. Please, I just need you to forget about me." Now I could tell he was crying, but didn't want me to know.

   "No!" I yelled. "I won't."

   "I'm really sorry, Arden," he finished. And then he was gone.