Chapter 42

The last time Carson had texted me was the day before I talked to Finn. Now, I took in a deep breath and pressed his name, to call him. My hand was shaking. It rang three times in my ear, and the whole time I wondered if I'd waited too long. Had I really lost him this time?

"Arden?" he answered, finally.

"Hi." My heart was pounding, and I rubbed the blanket on my bed between my fingers, nervously.

"God, Arden, I'm so glad -"

"Can I come over?" I interrupted. I didn't want to do this over the phone.

"Um, yes. Of course." He sounded so relieved.

"Okay, I'll be there soon."

His apartment was on the second floor of a six story building, so I walked up. I was used to taking the stairs. When I knocked on his apartment door, my stomach turned. I was actually going to do this and it was terrifying.

"Arden," he said, his eyes on me intently. "Thank you for coming."

"Uh, yeah. I thought we should talk."

He looked worried, stepping back so I could go inside. His apartment was more furnished now, though it was so obvious he hadn't lived there long. He had a sofa and a chair, a small book shelf. The kitchen had things in the cupboards, but not much else. For weeks, I'd slept there, spent most of my free time there. I loved that damn apartment.

"Yes, definitely."

I followed him over to the sofa and watched him sit down. My heart lurched forward, wanting him close to me. Of course I had missed him. But a part of me was still so confused, and we had to talk.

"So, I guess I'm just sorry for this past week. I needed to think, and..."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry I called and texted a lot, I just..."

"My heart felt like it was shattered, Carson. I don't know why, I know you haven't even looked at another girl since we've been together. But just seeing her, hearing what you said... I got so protective of you, and then I was just hurt."

Carson managed a smile. "That is true. I haven't even looked at anyone. Are there even other woman in this town?"

I kept a straight face, but appreciated that he was trying to break the tension. "Carson..."

"She lives in Jacksonville. I stayed at her brother's house for a few months, when I came back to Florida, from Atlanta. She was just around sometimes, and she was always flirting with me." He paused, looking for my reaction. I tried not to have one. "I was lonely. And broken. I... I only slept with her twice. She said she was on the pill."

I swallowed hard, my mouth too dry. I didn't want to hear this, but I didn't really have any right to be mad. I had slept with Finn way more than twice in the past year, and even after Carson came back to Seaside.

"Oh, well, does the timing line up?" I asked, surprising myself.

"It does. And she says she hasn't been with anyone else. I didn't really believe her, so I called Matt, her brother. So, he kind of hates me now, but he swears she wasn't dating anyone or seeing anyone else..."

"Shit. Well -"

"She agreed to get a paternity test once the baby is born. I guess that will be in like two months..."

Two months. We would have to wait this out, with it hanging over our heads for two months.

"Okay..."

"Arden, I am so... I honestly can't believe this is happening."

I could tell this was killing him. I knew he loved me, and I knew me ignoring him for a week was hurting him, too.

"It's... okay, I know this shouldn't change anything, but... it feels like it will."

"It will. Especially if that baby is mine. We are still new, but so good and I wouldn't do anything to ruin this, Arden. But this baby... it happened before I got back to you. I'm so sorry we have this to worry about now, but-"

"Carson..." I moved a bit closer to him. "I missed you."

"Oh god, I missed you," he repeated, moving even closer.

And then he was kissing me and I felt all of the hard, heavy things that were floating around between us dissipate. When we kissed, things felt better. Yes, we had things to figure out. But right now it was okay. We were okay.

"What made you decide to call tonight ?" he wanted to know, slowly pulling away.

"Um. Do you actually want to know?" I asked, and He nodded. "I talked to Finn."

"Wait, What?"

I smiled, sort of enjoying how he got jealous about that so quickly.   "He texted to apologize. For how he handled everything. The timing was just... right. For us to talk."

"Arden.. what are you saying?" Carson looked nervous, yet curious.

"No, we were just texting.  I just... I told him what was going on. And he said I should give you a chance to explain."

"He did?"

"Yeah. And... we might try to be friends, Finn and I. I hope you'd be okay with that?" I asked, unsure.

He audibly sighed. "Of course. Wow. I... I owe him."

I leaned in to kiss him again, smiling against his mouth. He tasted sweet and his hands went to my face, holding me there like he never wanted me to go.

"I love you," I breathed out.

"I love you," he repeated. "I don't want to not see you for five days ever again."

The next couple of weeks were surprisingly normal. There were days that I didn't even think about the fact that Carson potentially had a baby on the way. There were moments when I still just felt that we were prefect, together. Happy. That we might be, forever. And I was clinging to those moments.

"So nice to see you Carson," my mom told him, the following Sunday. "It feels like it's been awhile since you've been here."

I'd had Rylee the night before so I stayed home, and Carson had come over early for breakfast, just like we had done most weekends since we'd been dating.

"Busy working, mostly," he answered, smiling at her. "But I'm happy to be here today."

"I made extra bacon and eggs, don't forget to tell Kaden," she went on, looking at me.

"Daddy always eats the extra bacon," Rylee laughed, as she shoved some eggs into her mouth.

"I'm staying at Carson's tonight, and I work tomorrow, so I won't be home til tomorrow evening," I told my mom, after I finished my breakfast.

Dad had already got up from the table and retreated to his office to make some calls. He never stopped working, it seemed, even though he was supposed to be retired.

Mom looked carefully between Carson and I. The look on her face was confusing. "Are you two being... safe?"

"Mom," I said quickly, shutting my eyes in embarrassment.

Carson literally snorted, keeping his eyes on me. Of course we were being safe, we'd never had unprotected sex. She knew that I was on the pill, as I had been since I was sixteen. But still, Carson and I used condoms. But did I really want to talk about this with my mom, now?

"Arden, it's just a question. We love Rylee, but you know how hard that was for Kaden -"

"Mom, please stop," I said, shaking my head.

"Oh, fine," she finished, but gave Carson a look. I saw him nod at her quickly, before the subject was changed.

Once Kaden had showed up, ate the leftovers and taken Rylee home - after thanking me, of course - Carson and I were alone once again. We went to my bedroom so I could grab a few things, and work clothes for the following day. We hadn't talked about much about the baby situation since I'd gone to his apartment to talk. We were acting like things were fine, which they were, for now.

"So, you're staying over tonight?" he asked, grinning at me.

"Yeah, is that okay?" I asked back, grabbing two shirts from my closet.

"Of course. Yes. I didn't sleep much last week, without you."

I turned towards him and then walked over until I was sitting beside him on my bed. I reached over and touched his cheek, some facial hair was growing as usual. I stared at his scar on his lip for a second, before kissing it.

"We're good, right?" I asked him, our foreheads touching.

"Yes. Arden, yes. I love you," he said quickly. "I want you, only you. I can't wait to get you in my bed tonight, either."

I blushed, then kissed him again. "Okay. Let me get my stuff together here and we'll go."