Chapter 4

Remus Lupin was having a very peculiar dream…

"Honey, I'm home!"

Remus shut the door of the ridiculously one hundred and fifty bedroom mansion.

"I'm in the kitchen, darling!" a voice called from within the abode.

His footsteps boomed as he walked into the high ceiling entrance hall, where he stepped under an elaborate chandelier and was immediately met with a house elf.

"How was your day, sir?"

"Not bad, Poppet. Not bad," Remus replied, letting the elf take his robe. The creature hurried away, remaining in a continuous bow, which Remus insisted was not necessary but nonetheless the poor being did a peculiar moonwalk in his departure whilst Remus followed the appealing smell coming from the kitchen.

He leaned either hand on the sides of the kitchen doorway and sniffed an almighty inhale.

Sirius Black turned around from being occupied by the stove to greet Remus wearing not only a cheeky grin but merely an apron which said 'KISS THE COOK'.

Remus reacted as if seeing Sirius naked and only wearing an apron was an ordinary phenomenon. "Something smells nice."

"I'm making Creamy Tortellini Chicken Primavera!" Sirius announced. He turned back to stirring in a cooking pan, revealing his jiggling bottom in its current eager wiggling.

"Want to try some, Moony?" Sirius offered a spoon of sauce.

Remus stepped into the kitchen and accepted the offer of food-tasting. He licked the sauce covered spoon much too long than considered normal and ended it with a seductive lick of the lips. "Tasty."

"Are you talking about my outfit, or shall I say lack of, or the sauce?"

"Both."

"Rawr!" Sirius growled.

"Mr. Black, and, er, Mr. Black, sirs?" Poppet the house elf stepped into the kitchen with his back flattened like a surfboard. "Mr. Potter has just confirmed dinner at seven."

"Oh, thank you, Poppet!" Sirius said gratefully. "You can go on your break now. Go have a fag or something," he tried to get rid of her.

The elf looked very much confused.

"Just go and sit in your hidey-hole, then."

"Yes, sir." The elf left the room looking at the floor at all times.

Remus leaned on the kitchen counter with a slightly sulky expression. "James and Lily are coming for dinner tonight?"

"That's what the Creamy Tortellini Chicken Primavera is for, silly papoose," Sirius wagged a spoon at him teasingly before continuing stirring.

"Do they have to come over?" Remus spoke in an odd sort of whine. "I was planning to just shag your brains out until I screamed the Greek alphabet in ecstasy."

"Oh, really?" Sirius raised an eyebrow. "We can always fit in a quickie before they come…"

"Bedroom. Now," ordered Remus. "And keep the apron on."

"We haven't done it in the dining room yet," Sirius pointed out.

"Really?" said Remus, shocked and possibly appalled. "We've already marked our shag territory in the living room, bathroom, study," he counted on his fingers, "the pantry, broom closet…"

"There's a first time for everything, is what I always say. Now, to the dining room table!" Sirius announced, grabbing a hold of Remus' arse and completely forgot the cooking that was burning and on the verge of setting fire. "Shag my brains out, eh, Moony? I'll hold you to that-"

"AAAARGH!"

Remus' eyes bulged, not only waking from such a horrifying dream, but also waking to the eyes of his pal who was in it. Panting from the nightmare, he self-consciously pulled up the cover of his sleeping bag and wiped the sweat that dripped from his forehead.

"Well, jolly good morning to you too, Moony," said Sirius, a little startled and insulted by the reaction he had received. Honestly, his face was quite beautiful, stunning, in fact, and here was his friend screaming like a banshee. Only Severus Snape deserved that kind of response. Sheesh.

"How many times do I need to repeat that you must not wake me up with your face so close in my facial area zone?" Remus made an imaginary circle around his face to show that Sirius had indeed crossed the line of said facial zone area.

"Jesus, someone woke up on the wrong side of the sleeping bag this morning," Sirius remarked. He stood up, dusted himself off and shielded the morning rays from his eyes. "I heard you talking in your sleep. Heard something about a 'shag territory'." Remus blanched. "Any good?"

"What was any good?" Remus spoke carefully.

"Your dream."

"Oh!" Remus exploded into fake laughter. "The dream! I, er, I…can't remember it…"

Sirius looked sympathetic. "Hate it when that happens. Especially the kinky ones. Racks my brain all day trying to remember it."

"I wish I could forget mine…"

"What was that?"

"Er…nothing!" Remus stooped, finding particular interest with the forest floor.

Wow, an ant.

Double wow, a stick.

Out of the blue, funnily from a bush, Peter appeared with a cheerful expression too early for this time in the morning. Plainly someone had taken too many happy pills. "Fancy some brekkie?" he asked his friends.

Remus figured Peter meant breakfast but was too lazy and informal to say the full word.

"You can share my fry up!" Peter announced, rubbing his hands together eagerly.

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "A fry up?" he repeated. His head turned left and right, looking for the kitchen area that would have to sprout from the ground in order to cook scrambled eggs. Not seeing a cooker or stove, it became quite apparent to him that dark forests did not supply kitchen areas.

"Well, when I mean fry up," Peter began, rustling a hand in his pocket, "I mean things that taste like a fry up. So, here's a jelly bean that tastes like bacon." He popped the pink bean into Remus' palm. "Here's one that tastes like fried eggs. That one's toast…" He searched for more beans.

"I think I'll pass on breakfast," Remus informed.

Rising to his feet with much stretching and yawning, his eyes eventually landed on Lily's sleeping bag and her particular occupant. Remus didn't know when, or even now, but figured James had somehow climbed into Lily's sleeping bag (most probably without her consent) and somehow zipped themselves in compactly like an oblong Christmas present.

James' head lolled back even more as he made a thunderous snore, whilst Lily unattractively dripped saliva onto his shirt.

"How," Remus chose his words wisely, "Odd…"

Sirius nodded in agreement and rested an elbow on his shoulder. Remus eyed the elbow with suspicion as if it were the teeth of a hungry rabbit.

"Doesn't it make you…?" Sirius paused, unsure on how to finish the sentence.

"Wish you didn't feel permanently single in the depths of never-ending celibacy?" Remus offered.

"I was going to say 'make you want to push them off a cliff'," Sirius clarified. "Are we near any canyons?" Remus was about to reply with a stern, 'no,' but Sirius had apparently got caught up in the idea of rolling the couple into impending doom. "You take the top of the sleeping bag, Pete, and I'll take the bottom," Sirius said.

Just as he lifted the couple's feet, they made outcries of being woken and lifted up so early in the morning.

"Drat," Sirius cursed, plonking the end of the sleeping bag back on the ground.

James yawned, showing off his molars. "Were you watching me sleep?" he asked drowsily, straightening his glasses. "You do know that's extremely weird, don't you?"

Lily's eyes shot open at the sound of his voice, almost jumping if she hadn't been confined. Clearly seeing James in her sleeping bag was quite surprising, particularly after she told him to go sleep in his own. "How and when did you get in here?" she asked James, a little annoyed.

With slow registering thoughts as his eyes darted around, James finally realised where exactly he was. "I'm not in my sleeping bag," he stated. His mouth opened in a fairly adorable circle of confusion as he tried to remember how and when he had travelled over to this position in the middle of the night.

"Never mind." Lily rolled her eyes. "Just get out. I need to pee."

"Morning to you, too," James replied wryly. Stretching his arm in an uncomfortable position, he grabbed for the zipper of the sleeping bag and tugged on it.

It did not move.

Sirius appeared to be snickering.

"Sodding zipper!" James made another furious tug of the fastener. "C'mon!" He looked at Peter for help. "Wormtail, a hand, please?"

Peter crouched to his knees and got a hold of the fastener. After many minutes of yanking, where at one point Peter pulled so hard that he fell back and landed on his bottom, it was obvious the sleeping bag zipper was stuck.

Lily let out a whimper, desperate to escape. "I need to pee," she squeaked, crossing her legs.

James tried to look as if he wasn't bothered by the fact that his girlfriend may wet herself in the next few minutes and he undoubtedly would be caught in the crossfire. "So, who saw this coming?" he asked his friends, referring to their sleeping bag imprisonment.

The three Marauders raised their hands.

"Who is lying about seeing this coming?"

Sirius and Peter lowered their hands.

"Who saw this coming in a Seer-visualization sort of way?"

Remus lowered his hand.

"Need to pee…now…"

James tried to soothe Lily with the one arm he managed to slip out from their sleeping bag captivity and petted her head. "Just hold it in," he suggested. Lily nodded but James was not comforted by her slightly streaming eyes of suffering. "Why don't we get into some sort of standing position?"

"Right," Lily nodded, trying to wriggle herself upright. "Needtopeeneedtopeeneedtopee," she chanted, "Needtopeeneedtopee-"

"Can you not keep saying that?" James asked, slightly high strung. Her repetition of needing to go to the toilet was making him feel like he needed to go to the toilet, and her jerking legs kept bashing into his under the covers.

"Needtopeeneedtopeeneedtopee-"

"Lily-" James started again.

"Needtopeeneedtopee, need to peeeeeee…"

With a mischievous grin on his face, Sirius waved his wand and conjured up a glass of water. Lily raised an eyebrow, as if to say 'you wouldn't dare…'

Sirius magnified his innocent expression across his features, letting the water pour from the glass with an exaggerated "WOOPSIE DAISY" on to the forest floor.

Lily whimpered even more.

"Stop that, Padfoot!" James told him off. "Come on, Lily. Try and stand up."

The two wriggled like flobberworms but eventually managed to stand in the sleeping bag. Both Remus and Peter held either side of them as they threatened to fall. People didn't stand in sleeping bags; they laid in them, for goodness sake. If the sleeping bag manufactures expected people to do sack races in them then they would have created them for standing people such as James and Lily.

"Do you know what you two look like?" Sirius observed the couple in their bright pink cocoon. The two shook their heads, expressionless. "One giant penis."

His joke was not appreciated.

"Do you get it? Because the sleeping bag's pink…" Sirius received no feedback. "C'mon! Someone laugh!" Peter was about to erupt into fake giggles but James was not amused, and because Peter was copying everything he did, Peter also did nothing. "I don't have to entertain you people, you know!" Sirius pointed out. "I can just be a boring sod and blend into the background like Peter!"

"Hey!"

"Sorry!" Sirius quickly apologized. "Geez, I keep forgetting you're there…"

"Seriously, if I don't get out of this sleeping bag within the next five minutes, I will relieve myself," Lily clarified. James looked even more washed out than before. "But, hey," she noticed James' pale face, "if my pee gets on you, you shouldn't mind because you love me."

James found himself nodding in agreement. "Well, better your pee than Sirius'."

"And what exactly is wrong with my pee?" he snapped. "Mine is of natural colour and odour."

"It isn't supposed to have much of a strong odour," Remus pointed out.

"Really?" Sirius knotted his brow, looking tense. "I think I should go see Madam Pomfrey once we get back-"

"Four minutes!" Lily announced her peeing timer, as though she knew the exact moment in time she would urinate, where a buzzer would ring and a banner would fling up, along with confetti, saying 'PIDDLE TIME.'

Sirius quirked an eyebrow as he scratched his chin, what you could describe as a look of inspiration. "I have a plan," he revealed.

James didn't let himself get too excited. "What implements does it involve?"

"A knife-"

"For-get it," Lily rejected with emphasis.

Sirius looked outraged. "You can't just dismiss my idea like that! It's degrading!"

Lily looked at him suspiciously. "Where did you learn that word?"

"It's my Moony Word of the Day." Sirius brushed his chest.

Much gazing was focused on Remus. He did not like the attention. He did not like any attention.

"I give him a new word every day," Remus explained briefly. "Yesterday was 'unscrupulous'. Today is 'degrading'."

Peter looked upset on not having a word of the day by Remus. "What's the word for tomorrow?" he asked curiously.

"Now, now. That would be telling," Remus said with a mysterious nose tap.

"Alright, Sirius!" Lily's voice cut in a whine of desperation. "Go with the knife idea!" she gave in, still jerking.

"Wait a second here," James started. Panicking, he wondered how exactly a knife, a potential murder weaponwas going to be involved in their escape from the sleeping bag. "Hold on-"

Sirius whipped out his famous pocket knife and strode towards the couple.

"PADFOOT!"

Sirius stopped abruptly, looking startled at James' scream and Lily's accompanied one. "Wha…?" He paused and took in his appearance. "Oh…I can see how this could come across as psychotic," he realised, waving his knife in hand gesturing. Remus had to duck a few times to avoid his eye sockets being stabbed and avoid a similar swipe of the ear like Vincent Van Gogh.

"Can you please explain stuff before you just go and do it?" James pleaded. "Striding towards us with a pocket knife, raised highly, might I add-" Sirius lowered the knife with a cringe "-is not considered as normal."

"Two minutes!" Lily reminded the boys her pee timer.

Sirius pushed up his arm sleeves. "So, I was thinking," he ran a finger up and down the pocket knife's blade quite outrageously, "Just slice open the sleeping bag and hope for the best? Possibly?"

"Hope for the best?"

"Just do it," Lily pressed him. James looked at her as if she had gone mad - needing the toilet clearly made people insane. "When you slash open, aim for James' side, please-"

"Lily!"

"Do you want a pretty girlfriend, Potter? Girls aren't so attractive with scars."

James contemplated her theory. "Full steam ahead," he said at long last.

Sirius stuck out his thumb as though he were painting a canvas, and twirled the pocket knife around, unsure where to cut.

"Let me make it easier for you, Sirius," Remus helped. He swished his wand and a cross appeared on the sleeping bag.

"Ah, thanks, Moony. My eye dexterity is much more reliable with crosses."

"Good to know," James muttered.

"Thirty seconds!"

"Just think of it as knifing Snape in his sleep…" Sirius told himself, making a cut into the sleeping bag. James made a cry of agony, clutching his arm. Everyone gasped.

"Oh, God! James, are you okay?" Lily asked him, looking for his injury and galleons of blood.

"PRONGSIE!" Sirius looked on the verge of tears, ridden with guilt. "I'm so sorry! I just KNIFED my best friend! I'm DEGRADING!"

Instantly, James' face of anguish turned into a grin. "Har, fooled you," he said, slipping out his arm that was normal and in perfect health.

For that wicked trick, Sirius decided to prod the pocket knife into James' finger, not too deep that it was considered as near attempted massacre but enough to cause James pain.

"Baboon," said Sirius simply.

"You stabbed me!" James said in disbelief. "You actually stabbed me!" He showed the prick of blood to Lily but she didn't look at all interested, already climbing out of the sleeping bag thanks to Sirius' slice through it.

"Where are you going?" James called after her, who by now had sprinted off in an odd run of crossed legs.

"El pisso!" she yelled back, disappearing behind a bush.

"Ah," Sirius tapped his nose; picking up on her use of the bush he had titled as the opposite of 'El Crapper'. "I have taught her well."

"Wos' a matter with you?"

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and finally the teens were departing from the forest and getting back to Hogwarts. There was just a certain problem with a certain werewolf about going on a broom with a certain person after a certain dream.

"Hurry up already!" James shouted from above. He and Lily had already perched on their own broom, this time with Lily in front to avoid any more unexpected fallings, and were now waiting for Sirius and Remus to set flight. Of course, they could take as long as they want because James was quite enjoying nuzzling Lily's neck whilst she giggled and pretended to slap him away.

"Nothing is the matter," Remus responded shrilly to Sirius' question. "Air holes, Sirius! Air holes!" he referred to Sirius' pocket which he had just zipped up with Peter in rat form inside. Sirius had thought -with some mild common sense at the time- to secure the pocket so Peter would not accidentally fall from fifty feet. However, he had forgotten that rats needed to breathe.

Remus flicked his wand and Sirius' jacket pocket was instantly scattered with small air holes. Sirius was not best pleased.

"This jacket is designer, you know," he huffed. "Six galleons, Moony. Six gall-bloody-eons."

"Don't incorporate cursing into words, Sirius. You know I hate it when you do that."

Sirius was still dazed to why Remus hadn't got on the broom yet. "Get on the broom, Moony!"

"I don't want to," Remus mumbled, like a stubborn child.

"You were fine getting on yesterday," Sirius countered. "What's the problem now?"

"I had a dream, alright!" Remus finally publicized, plonking down on a boulder.

"Well, dreams are quite common," Sirius teased, then his smile widened. "You had a dirty dream didn't you?" He pointed an accusing finger. "I knew it!" he bounced on his toes excitedly. "Who's the lucky gal then, eh?"

Remus' deadpan face answered Sirius' question.

"Oh…it wasn't a she-man was it?"

Remus threw his head in his hands.

"Will you explain the dream already?" Sirius pressed. "You're being very vague."

Lifting his head up slowly, Remus blew a deep breath in and out and secured his fidgeting fingers in between his legs. "You were…in the dream."

Sirius did not look fazed by this information. "So? You've been in plenty of my dreams." Remus choked at this revelation. "One time we flew to Disneyland on giant elephants-" Remus breathed a sigh of relief "-And another time we were at this hotel-" Remus choked again- "and we ordered room service for the entire night until we ate so much we filled up the room and exploded the hotel-" Remus calmed for the second time in thirty seconds "-and they still billed after we died, so our children had to pay for it."

"Our children?" Remus spurted.

Sirius did not catch on. "You know, the children you had with your woman, and the children I had with my bird."

"Yes," Remus said with wide eyes. "Separate children."

"Yes." Sirius blinked. "So. How I was involved in your dream?"

"You were…" Remus paused hesitantly and Sirius waved a hand to continue. "You were my…housewife," he stressed the word to show how disturbed he exactly was. At this, Sirius erupted into laughter; Remus didn't know quite how to react to this.

"You're a hoot!" Sirius bowled over, clutching his stomach. "What a mad dream! INSANE!" Tensely, Remus laughed along. "Really, you should send it in to one of those magazines who give money for 'cringe-worthy' stories."

"There's more."

Sirius instantly stopped laughing as if he'd been flicked on the 'off' switch. "More…?"

Remus jerked his legs in agitation. "It seemed quite apparent that we were…" He gulped noticeably. "Er…you know…" Sirius did not know. "Uh, how can you say…'sexually involved'?"

"Sexually involved with who?" Sirius said confusedly.

Remus did not like spelling it out.

He pointed a finger at himself, a finger at Sirius, then with both his forefingers pressed them together quite subtly.

Sirius paled. "OH…"

"OH," Remus reiterated.

Sirius finally remembered Remus' sleeping murmurings from that morning. "Shag territory?" he said with a wince.

Remus shook his head grimly. "Don't ask," he begged.

Sirius pondered to do a 'James Potter' and lynch himself from a tree, but instead tried to remain wacky and hyperactive, for Remus' sake at least.

"Don't worry," Sirius reassured him. Remus didn't know how not to worry at a situation like this. "We'll get back to Hogwarts and check one of those dream dictionaries from the library!" Sirius suddenly concocted. "I'm sure dreaming of your friend being your housewife and shag partner really means something normal, like a fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some specific situation. You know, like in those dreams where you're naked."

Remus whitened. "You've had dreams about me unclothed?"

"No! Hell, no! I meant in general! How people have dreams about being naked in public, in general."

Remus' breathed another sigh of relief. "Right."

Sirius gave him two manly thumps on the back in what he thought was a straight and heterosexual manner. "I bet its nothing, Moony. We'll sort it out when we get back to school, and it'll probably be nothing! Just a silly dream." It seemed as if he was trying to convince himself.

"Yes. I'm sure you're right," Remus agreed with a strained smile.

"So…separate brooms it is, then?" Sirius presumed.

"Yes," Remus nodded, transfiguring a stick on the ground into a Quidditch broom.

They both flashed each other bogus smiles before kicking off the ground and soaring into the air.

"Finally."

It had taken most of the day of never ending flying, bathroom breaks, and getting lost a total of twenty three times because apparently following a railway track to Hogwarts was rather unreliable.

James couldn't help but feel liberation once Hogwarts castle was in view. Yes, he very much liked sitting on a broom with Lily, stealing kisses when Sirius and Remus weren't looking because any snogging in front of them made them erupt into grumbles of 'Oh, go make babies elsewhere, will you? Or just fly up higher and I'll cross my fingers that you get both rammed by an airplane,' or 'Would you mind not displaying such graphic canoodling in front of my bookworm eyes?'

It was easy to tell which boy had made which complaint.

"Home sweet home, eh?" said James.

"Wond-bloody-erful!" cheered Sirius, flying upside down in celebration. Remus ducked on his broom to avoid the incoming of an upside down Sirius head.

Flying above the Hogsmeade station pillars below, Lily suddenly grabbed control of James' broomstick and pointed the handle downwards.

"What are you doing?" James screeched, whilst Sirius and Remus followed in confusion.

"We can't just sneak into school by the Astronomy Tower again! We're-"

"Head Boy and Girl," James finished Lily's sentence with a groan and roll of his eyes.

"It's better if we go in this way, James. We'll look less guilty." Giving in to his girlfriend, James stopped trying to force Lily's fingers off the broom handle and sat on the broom in a mood. "Besides, someone's waiting there with a lantern." She pointed in the distance to a person's figure standing behind the usual winged boar pillars.

"God, if it's The Slug I will die," James stressed.

"OH HO!"

James groaned without delay. "Oh joy…"

Nearing the gate, Professor Slughorn's appearance was more distinguishable if they hadn't already guessed from his familiar calling of 'OH HO.' The group jumped off their brooms with hesitance, afraid to get too close to the professor. Slughorn looked quite menacing holding a lantern in his face, standing behind the bars of the gate as though in a cell of a prison.

"How did you know we'd arrived, professor?" Remus asked, quite frightened.

"Professor Dumbledore," he said simply, fluttering his moustache. Tapping the padlock with his wand, the chains twisted and the gate opened with a delightful creak to add to the creepy atmosphere. The second the gate opened, Slughorn had taken Lily's hand and began shaking it with much eagerness.

"Wonderful to hear you're Head Girl, my dear! I was one of the many teachers who thought you were perfect for the position!"

"Thank you, sir," Lily smiled as sweetly as she could manage. James made an audible Umbridge-like 'AHEM,' hooking an arm around her waist. Inwardly she laughed at his perceptible jealousy that was not needed, and his added annoyance at any close contact she had with people, objects, anything besides James Potter himself.

"And Potter, m'boy!" Slughorn began shaking both their hands at once, causing much twitching from the two. "You as Head Boy! That was rather lucky, wasn't it?"

Sirius sniggered at Slughorn's choice of words. James knew not to take offence. Slughorn was just painfully honest.

"Perhaps we should be getting back to the castle, professor?" Remus reminded him on the task at hand.

"Oho! Right you are!" Slughorn ushered them to follow him and the gate shut with a clang. With their broomsticks held over their shoulders, they followed Slughorn back to Hogwarts oak doors. Luckily, the professor had yet noticed that a fourth Marauder was missing, more interested reciting the apparently exhilarating Potions lesson they had missed that day as he lead the group.

As the professor clambered ahead, Sirius quickly slipped out Peter from his pocket and dropped him to the ground. In some pretty impressive transfiguring for Peter, he quickly transformed back into his human self. As Slughorn was in the middle of describing his impressive speech on the introduction of a potion that caused temporary blindness, he glanced back to check if the group were still following. He looked startled at Peter's sudden appearance.

"Timothy, my'boy?"

"It's Peter," the boy sighed.

"How did you get here?" Slughorn questioned. The group whitened as they waited for Peter to answer.

"Er…Magic?"

Remus slapped his forehead.

Oddly enough, Slughorn burst into laughter at Peter's poor joke, clutching his stomach as it jiggled in his chortling. "Oho, you are funny, Timothy, my boy." Peter decided this time not to correct him on his name. "Very humourous. Do you know any famous people? Famous relatives, perhaps?" he asked suddenly, but of course with expectedness.

"Well, my mother always said I would be famous when I was a big boy."

Peter's answer had not been what Slughorn had hoped for.

"Anyone relatively well known?" the professor asked again as though he hadn't heard him.

"Professor, the castle?" Remus reminded him again with slight impatience.

"Oho! Right you are!"

After a few minutes of walking, the group finally made it to the castle and stepped into the empty Entrance Hall.

"I must be off. The Headmaster and Professor McGonagall said they'd be here to meet you," Slughorn mentioned belatedly.

"What?" Sirius spoke with dread at the mention of the teachers. He wanted more detail, but the Potions professor had scurried off in the direction of the Kitchens.

"Well, we're screwed," Sirius voiced the thought the others were thinking. They stood uncomfortably in the entrance hall, eyes darting around for the arrival of the professors. "I say we don'tstay here and wait for unavoidable death and make a run for it-"

"I'm afraid running in Hogwarts is not permitted unless for emergencies such as bathroom quandaries."

"Geez, Professor!" Sirius tried to retrieve the skin which he just jumped out of due to the Headmaster's odd arrival out of the blue, the usual long grey beard gracing his chin and the usual twinkle in his eye.

"I'm sorry if I startled you, Mr. Black," Dumbledore apologized, a slight smile on his face. "My steps have been described as rather mouse-like. You could even say like a rat's."

His use of the word 'rat' when that was Peter's Animagus form was purely a coincidence.

"Nice get-up, Professor D," Sirius admired, noticing the pin-striped collar sticking from his dressing grown. The professor replied with a slight chuckle.

Remus straightened, looking awake and proper for the headmaster. "Did you get the letter I sent you, headmaster?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, Mr. Lupin," he seemed to be forcing his mouth not to curve to one side; "it was very well documented and had good use of terminology and grammar."

Remus gushed, thoughts of 'Oh Merlin, Professor Dumbledore just complimented me on my writing skills! Squee!'

"I trust you are all in good health," Dumbledore observed each of them in turn, his eyes landing on James and Lily, hand in hand. They blushed, and his eyes made the familiar twinkle which was quite hypnotic. "Of course, our Head Boy and Girl," he titled them. "Some seemed hesitant to my choice of choosing you both, but let's prove them wrong, shall we?" They nodded and blushed again. "If any of you are unwell, please see Madam Pomfrey as usual." Dumbledore turned his head at the sound of footsteps echoing nearby. "That must be your Head of House."

The teens made grim expressions as they watched Professor McGonagall stride towards them, her dressing gown belt in the process of being tied tightly around her waist as she rushed towards them grumbling to herself.

"Ah, Minerva," Dumbledore greeted her, "I trust you can take it from here and organize a suitable punishment?"

Sirius' smile fell. Dumbledore's chirpy mood had misled him into thinking they wouldn't be punished for missing the train and their first day back at Hogwarts. He muttered a miffed, 'Bugger…'

"I'm sorry to leave you, but I have rather an important meeting with a certain Minister of Magic," Dumbledore informed them.

"Of course, professor," McGonagall nodded. The two teachers exchanged an understanding and somewhat lingering exchanged look before Professor Dumbledore walked back to his office, humming an upbeat tune to himself.

With the headmaster not present, Sirius placed a hand onto his hip and shot McGonagall a peeved stare which said, 'Oh, you didn't!' He pointed an accusing finger at her, wagging it in front of her face. "I saw that look, missy!"

McGonagall was always so confused by the boy who acted so ridiculously, forgetting the teacher-student formalities. "I beg your pardon?"

"That look! The Sex Look," Sirius explained. His friends gasped at mentioning such a word in front of a teacher. Sex was not discussed with anyone who had the power to give you homework and detention. Sex and teachers were most definitely words that didn't belong together, on so many levels. "The 'I'll-Shag-You-Later' look," Sirius carried on. "I know that look. I created that look!"

Remus finally saw sense to clamp his open mouth of shock and embarrassment and also clamp Sirius' with the palm of his hand. Shooting Sirius a look that said 'Zip it, babbler,' he looked to the professor with a strained smile and said, "I do apologize. The air from the flying has affected his brain."

McGonagall looked keen to release some stress and anger in a deafeningly loud lecture, but instead observed the students from head to toe. Each of them she had known since the age of eleven, watching them grow, thin out, and in Peter's case, become chubbier. She had guided them through their 'academic lives', like one happy 'school family.' McGonagall was feeling oddly emotional all of a sudden.

"Thank Merlin you're all okay!" She brought the five into a hug with outstretched arms, where Sirius felt oddly reminded of the 'Madam Pom Pom's episode' last year as he was pressed rather horrifically into McGonagall's chest. They were flabbergasted by her actions.

The professor finally realized her out-of-character manner and released the teens quickly. The five -all red- began rearranging their hair and brushing their clothes.

"I…er…" McGonagall appeared quite comically flustered. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you have caused?" she spurted loudly, getting back to her normal behavior. She was the one now wagging the finger and Sirius did not like it. "Do you realize how many Muggles saw you?"

Lily rapidly remembered they had forgotten to use Remus' disillusionment charm. Buggering flobberworms. Bloody James and his distraction of heavenly snoggable lips.

"Is this the number guessing game?" Sirius asked. "Right," he pressed a hand to his forehead, getting into the mind of number guessing, "I'm thinking…Two Muggles? Three? Four, possibly?"

"Try forty, Mr. Black."

In unison, the five made the same expressive wince and intake of breath.

"Oh dear…" Sirius acknowledged.

"Oh dear, indeed, Black." McGonagall sighed and massaged her forehead. "I'm afraid many detentions will be your punishment." James remained hopeful. "For all of you," she added.

"What? But I'm Head Boy!" said James, as if this was a reasonable excuse. Lily stomped on his foot at such a cheeky excuse.

"Being Head Boy will not excuse you," McGonagall spoke in a dangerous tone.

"Really?" said James. "But I was sure being Head Boy gave you a free pass out of detention." Again, Lily stomped on his foot.

"Then you were informed wrong, Potter." One of her eyebrows was already twitching, any second now she would snap.

"That's poor," James huffed. "I mean, are there any good stuff being a Head?"

Sirius patted a hand to his shoulder in sympathy. "What a bum deal, mate."

McGonagall looked somewhat livid.

"What?" Sirius eyed the professor, cowering. "Aren't I allowed to say bum?" McGonagall did not answer and kept the usual grim face. "I'm sorry; I won't say it again… Bum!" He tried to shut his mouth from the weird outbursts but found his mouth couldn't be restrained. "Bum!" he yelled again. To be fair, Sirius did look apologetic and quite shocked by what he was doing. "Sorry, my mouth can't be controlled…" He clamped a hand on his mouth as Remus had done before. "…BUM, BUM, BUM!" his voice managed to speak out in between his fingers.

Sirius shot the professor a desperate look. "Can I please be excused?"

McGonagall nodded. "You can all be excused. But first, Potter, Evans, about your Head Tower…"

"No sodding way."

Though the Head Tower was the sleeping arrangements for James and Lily, the rest of the Marauders couldn't help but sneak a peek at their private headquarters. Lily had said the password to the Portrait of the Fat Man (whether he was any relation or in a relationship with the Portrait of the Fat Lady was unknown) and the five had stepped into the wondrously furnished tower, all sharing the same expression of awe.

"No sodding way," Sirius repeated for effect. Peter stuck his hands into his pocket and made an impressed whistle.

"Kind of looks like a cozier Gryffindor common room," Remus said, admiring the furniture, lit fireplace, and decorative wall tapestry.

"Except more private," Sirius said with an eyebrow raise. "Wonder what you two will get up two, eh?"

"Nothing that is formed from your dirty little mind," Lily retorted. She ran a finger over the shelves of books they owned and admired the study area. "Well, it's got everything."

"I bet you two won't get up to schoolwork though, will you, eh?"

Lily gave up.

Sirius made an almighty jump onto the couch in front of the fire, and put his hands behind his head as he leant on an arm rest. "So, where are us lot gonna sleep?" he referred to him, Remus and Peter.

Lily exchanged a worried look with James. Remus and Peter also looked confused, knowing they would be sleeping in the usual Gryffindor Tower. Clearly someone had failed to mention that Sirius would be too.

"You'll be sleeping in the seventh year dormitory in the Gryffindor Tower, Padfoot," James spoke carefully.

"You what?" said Sirius, upset. "But we always sleep in the same dormitory! How will you live without seeing this dashing face in the morning?" He pointed a finger to his face with a cheesy expression.

"I think I'll sleep better knowing I won't wake up to that," teased James.

Sirius gasped. "Bumface," he said simply.

Lily yawned, massaging her shoulders. "I think I'm going to bed…"

"I think this is our cue to leave," Remus assumed, walking towards the portrait hole with Peter in shadow. "Follow, Sirius."

With much annoyance being ushered from his comfy spot on the couch, now claimed Sirius' Spot, he skipped to the exit.

"Are you guys going to breed?" he asked with a cheeky expression.

"Good night!" James shoved him through the doorway and dusted his hands once the portrait shut with a click.

"So…" James followed Lily as they stepped into the hallway leading to the Head Girl and Head Boy bedrooms. They both stopped outside the doors which had funnily enough been placed opposite each other. "What do you wanna do now?" he asked with a grin.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed." Lily flashed him a smile. "Good night." She stepped into her dormitory and James watched her red hair disappear behind the door.

After at least a minute of James standing frozen in the hallway, he muttered a disappointed 'Bugger,' and stepped into his dorm.

Lily giggled as she pressed her ear to the door, hearing James' disappointed grumble. When would that boy learn?

Making yet another yawn from such a long day, she ignored the fact that her bedroom was made for a princess, large in size and large in decoration, and collapsed onto her bed.

She made a mumble of complaint as something had bounced on the bed from her impact of her collapse, knocking her on the head. Straightening up, she found a small letter with her name addressed on the front, along with a small oblong box wrapped in a bow also on the bedspread.

She instantly guessed who it was from: James. Though he'd never thought to do something so romantic, but there was a first time for everything.

Restraining herself from opening the oblong present with a childish glee of 'YAY!' as though it were Christmas, she first opened the letter and unfolded the small piece of parchment.

Dearest Lily,

You give me heart palpitations.

Yours,

The Half Blood Prince

Her eyes scanned over the last line. 'The Half Blood Prince?' That wasn't right. James wasn't a Half Blood. She was most definitely sure James was pure blood. Surely James hadn't forgotten he was of pure wizarding blood and wrote 'Half Blood' by accident? No, it couldn't be from James. James had never claimed himself as royalty. Never as a 'prince.'

Hesitantly, she undid the bow of the box and opened the additional present. She instantly furrowed her brow. A knife? Some 'Half Blood Prince' had given her a knife as a present? What kind of insane wacko hands out knives as gifts?

On closer inspection, she realized the knife was silver, made for cutting potions ingredients. As she examined the blade in her hand, she found herself being less freaked out and found the Potions tool quite beautiful. Her eyes wandered over her initial of 'L' engraved on the handle, intertwined with lily flowers and plant tendrils.

This knife had either been cleverly chosen or made especially.

Now she was just the teensiest bit freaked out.

She jumped when she heard a light knock at the door.

"Lily?"

It was James of course. With her mind racing, she didn't think to share her odd letter and gift with James for a various number of clear reasons, quickly stuffing it into her desk drawer out of sight. Tidying her hair and clothes first with a quick look at her reflection in the mirror, she opened her dormitory door with an inquisitive look.

James leant on one side of the doorway of his bedroom, adequately attired in just boxers with the usual handsome Marauder grin. Yes, Lily thought her boyfriend was trying to kill her. James and nakedness went together like chocolate and peanut butter - marvelously.

"Yes?" Lily inquired, oddly stretching the neck of her shirt.

"You know what's good about sharing a tower with you?" asked James.

"No," Lily again made another twang of her shirt, blushing. "For the opportunity of potential midnight snogging?" she assumed.

"No," James shrugged nonchalantly. "Knowing you're just a door away and that you're safe. And that I can protect you."

Lily forced herself not to melt. James was most definitely in her good books.

He stepped forward and slid a hand down her back, dipping her backwards in a deep kiss that made her go weak at the knees. Breaking away, James straightened Lily upright again who looked mighty flustered and unsteady.

"G'night," he said impishly. He sent her a look the essence of charm.

Lily nodded coyly and James waved and shut the door for her. She collapsed on her bed with a content and sappy smile on her face.

She then cursed to herself.

He had just gotten one over her; she had been completely wrapped around his finger.

"Bugger…"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there enters the suspence... Hope you enjoyed! I was thinking of changing th cover... It looks weird... :\ Ill try and look up on it!

<3 Y