Chapter 3

"LILY!"

James sunk his body low against the broom, making it easier for him to rocket through the air. He gripped the handle so tightly he swore he heard the wood crack. Pointing the broom downwards, he raced after the flash of red that had flickered moments before.

The second he flew downhill he was instantly obscured by clouds. He cursed, flying in circles of distraught and confusion. "Lily!" He shouted again, but was only answered by an odd echoing of his own bellows.

Meanwhile, the peculiar twosome of Sirius and Remus were battling their own problems with the weather.

"I do believe we have lost James," Remus informed, gripping onto Sirius' sides so firmly in fear of his elevated death that he was probably leaving hand prints embedded into his skin.

"Oh," Sirius acknowledged, "Right you are." He took a fleeting look back to look at Remus at the same time as trying to look at the path of sky ahead of him, so not to crash into any unexpected objects- which was pretty pointless anyway because the only thing to run into was clouds, clouds, and more sodding clouds.

"Shoo! Shoo, I say!" Sirius tried to waft away the clouds as if they were an annoying, following fly on a hot day. "Effing smog…"

"Sirius, do you have any idea where we are or where we are going or where James is?"

He furrowed his brow at such a question. "Too many where's in that question, mate. Come again?"

Remus decided not to dignify him with an answer and exhaled noisily. Too little intellectual conversation made Remus Lupin an unhappy chappy.

"Oh, bloody hell!" Sirius exclaimed in outburst. "Wormtail just peed in my pocket!" He took both hands of the broom, intent on grabbing Peter and swinging him a few times by the tail to teach him a lesson. Both Remus and Sirius screamed as the broom swerved out of control, it zigzagged wildly and threatened to tip them upside down, which was not good for either of their bowel movements.

"Why are you screaming, nincompoop!" Remus yelled once Sirius had managed to be in command of the broom once again. "You must have known that would have happened if you let go of the broom handle!"

Sirius stopped the broom to a halt and made it hover. "Nincompoop? Did you just call me a nincompoop? Stupidest insult ever."

Remus gripped hard on Sirius' stomach, intending to at least scar a spleen or kidney with his fingernails.

"Ow, Moony!" Sirius whined. "Anyway, it's not as if we're going to bump into anything are we! Clouds-" he waved a hand to the left and right of them "-Clouds-" he waved a hand below them "-Clouds…" He pointed to up above but his eye caught something puzzling. "What the…?"

Remus noticed his confusion. "What?" He upturned his head to follow Sirius' gaze and spotted something red hurdling towards them through the mist. "What in Merlin's beard is that?"

"Ooo, you don't think its one of those Dementor thingys, do you?" Sirius theorised, and Remus instinctively grinded his teeth at Sirius' use of the word 'thingy'. "I read in the Quibbler –Lionel Lovegood's zany dad's newspaper- that Lord Voodoll-"

"Voldermort," Remus corrected with a sigh.

"Whatever. Well, apparently he got them on to his side and-"

"Oh my goodness!" Remus butted in, finally recognizing that the falling red object bombarding towards them was an actual person. "It's Lily!"

"What about the redhead?" Sirius asked, not putting two and two together.

Before Remus could explain, the unconscious Lily crashed into them, making the Quidditch broom drop a few feet at such an impact and weight. Neither of the boys had been prepared to catch Lily, so the girl had simply bounced off them and was now falling again to the faraway ground. In such a messy scramble, Remus grabbed onto Lily's hand and was tugged forward, threatening to fall off the broom himself.

"Lily!" Remus shouted.

"Jesus Christ, Lily!" Sirius fanned his face, trying to slow down his quickening heart beat which had recently gone into Mental Overload. "Give us a warning before you decide to do a James-Potter-suicide-attempt, will you."

Remus couldn't believe his ears. "For goodness sake!" He gave Sirius an incomprehensible look for brushing aside Lily's near death experience as though someone had just passed wind. "Help me get her up!"

"Oh, right," Sirius cringed, realising he should probably help in the rescue of Lily. He managed to grab onto her shoulder and pull her up with much cursing and tugging, and quickly Lily was half way on the broom though only with Sirius and Remus holding onto adjoining limbs.

"Wouldn't it be, like, funny, if, like, we dropped her?"

"No!" Remus scolded him.

"Yeah, didn't think so either…" Sirius decided slapping Lily's face would awaken her. "Oi-" SLAP SLAP "-wake up!"

Remus was about to reprimand Sirius on smacking someone who was clearly not in a fit state, though smacking someone who was healthy was also immorally wrong, but his sensitive werewolf ears picked up on distant shouting.

"Lily!"

Remus pulled Lily up again who threatened to slip. "Do you hear that?" he asked Sirius.

"Lily!"

Sirius could recognize that voice anywhere. "It's Prongs," he stated. "Hey, Prongsie! What are you yelling about now?" he shouted into the clouded atmosphere.

"Lily!"

Remus whirled his head around, hearing James' voice become closer. He would have been glad of the arrival of his friend but a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, or the predictability of the situation, made him feel that James' coming would only cause more accidents.

"Fly down, Sirius."

"You what?"

"Fly down," Remus said again, his eyes frantic. "Before James bumps into-"

His final word of 'us' was cut off by the arrival of James who appeared suddenly through the clouds with a surprised expression. The boys made outcries of cursing as both brooms collided, where the tip of James' broom noticeably stabbed Sirius in the eye. At such an unexpected crash, both brooms bounced back off each other, both Sirius and Remus letting go of Lily at such an impact.

Remus tried to grab for Lily again but missed, watching her fall. "James! Lily-" he began to warn, but James had already flown off after her falling figure.

With some impressive, speedy flying, James zoomed downwards and caught Lily in her arms, so perfectly it looked even rehearsed, and as if saving people's lives was just another daily ritual on the James Potter Agenda.

"That was so cheesy," Sirius commented on James catch with a grimacing face. "I may have even vomited in my mouth a little." He popped a finger into his mouth as though he were check vomit tracings. "Yep," he confirmed. "Wanna see, Moony?"

"I think I'll pass."

James tugged Lily with one arm to his chest and tried to get a look at her pale face. "Wake up." He shook her and she only shook along floppily. His face filled up with panic. "Wake up!"

Sirius finally flew over to James after much scolding off Remus because he kept playing with the clouds by putting two spread out fingers and blowing out air, making it appear as if he was smoking whilst shouting, "LOOK, MOONY! I LOOK LIKE I'M SMOKING BUT I'M NOT! HAR HAR HAR!" And after trying to sign his own signature into the clouds.

"What's up?" Sirius asked with the grace of cool.

"What's up?" James echoed. He hooked Lily's arms around his neck so she was more secure to him and hopefully wouldn't fall again. "My girlfriend near fell to her death, that's what's up, niffler dung brain!"

"Wouldn't it be, like, funny, if, like, she died?"

"No!" James looked at him with disbelief. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Yeah, didn't think so either…" Sirius scratched his head and avoided Remus' gaze who looked like he might give Sirius another finger nail scarring to an organ.

James shook Lily again but her eyes remained closed, her face pasty. Sirius pointed this out and compared it to the colour of semen, which James returned with another stab in the eye with the handle of his broom.

"We have to get her to the Hospital wing to rest," James said.

Remus knew James was worried but getting to the Hospital wing, or even Hogwarts, was clearly not going to happen.

"James, I know you probably won't like the plan I am going to suggest, but just hear me out…"

Two minutes later after Remus had explained his plan; Remus now had a blackened eye along with Sirius. "Stabbing me in the eye with your broom handle was completely unnecessary, James!"

"Your plan sucked," James said with much emphasis. If his arms had not been occupied holding Lily, he would have folded them with stubborn immaturity.

"But we can't keep flying," Remus tried to get his point across. "The weather is terrible and we're only getting ourselves more lost. Not to mention it's getting dark. The best we can do is get back to ground, gets some rest, and wait until morning when the weather has probably cleared up."

"Not to mention, boy, am I tired," Sirius added, with a tone that suggested that everyone needed to be informed this and it would undoubtedly affect everyone around him.

"Yes…and we wouldn't want him falling of the broom, would we?" Remus spoke in a flat tone.

"Speak for yourself…"

Sirius gasped. "Prongsie!"

"Oh, alright!" James gave in. He pointed his broom downwards and shot towards the ground, muttering, "Effing smog," with Sirius following his trail.

Lily would have preferred a snugly, comfy couch to lounge onto, but apparently that kind of furniture was not supplied in a gloomy forest.

James wrapped his coat around the unconscious Lily's shoulders and rested her on to the grass. He watched her stomach rise and fall. She was breathing, which was a good thing, right? Unless her moving shirt was playing tricks with his mind, thought what was under that shirt was particularly more in-ter-est-ting…but he shouldn't be thinking about that right now. She's ill, you pervert! Ill! I-L-L! Maybe she needed resuscitation? Or maybe James was just making up excuses to touch her mouth because he hadn't kissed her in HOURS and he was practically DYING.

"Are you drooling over an ill person?"

James snapped out of his thoughts as Sirius and Remus climbed off their broom and landed either side of him.

"That's immorally wrong, you know," Sirius teased.

"I'm allowed to!"

Sirius peeked behind James' shoulder, as if he was afraid of ill people. "Hasn't redhead woken up yet?"

"No. What do you suggest, throwing a bucket of water over her?" He cut off with widened eyes. "I was kidding!" He stopped Sirius' wand which had conjured up a bucket of water that was threatening to spill its contents over the ill girl.

"Whatever floats your boat," Sirius said, making the bucket disappear with a sigh.

Remus eyed Sirius' trouser pocket with suspicion, the clothing looking more active than usual. "You can let him out now."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Peter. You can let Peter out now."

"That's funny, 'cos I thought you were referring to my-"

"Don't even," Remus cut in shortly, referring to not finishing that particular sentence. He would not be the one to remind Sirius of the time he left Peter in his Animagus form, in his pocket, for nearly two days without food or water except for cookie crumb remains.

Sirius shrugged, "Whatever floats your boat," unaware that he had used that saying for the second time in thirty seconds. He shoved a hand in his pocket, about to drop Peter to the forest floor from quite a towering height -because rats were like cats and had nine lives, right?- but a rat suddenly shot from the trees and sat at Sirius' feet.

"Wait…" James furrowed his brow. "If that's Peter," he pointed to the rat on the ground, "then what exactly is that?" He pointed to Sirius' pocket and raised his eyebrows mischievously.

"You're a sick minded papoose, Prongsie."

Sirius finally realised that finding out something unknown was moving in his pocket was quite worrying. He started screaming and moved towards Remus.

"Get it out, Moony!" he yelled whilst thrusting out his crotch as if the moving creature would suddenly bite his bits off.

Remus did not react well to this kind of energetic movement. "Keep away from me."

Peter took this opportune moment to transform back into his human form and malformed with his arms spread out widely- either for a 'TA DA' entrance or an expected hugging.

"Wormtail!" Sirius rejoiced and immediately started thrusting his trouser pocket at Peter. He wasn't sure what to make of Sirius' momentum. "There's something moving in my pocket!"

Peter cocked his head to one side. "Are you sure that's not just your-"

"I'm quite sure," Sirius cut in. "Get it out!"

Oddly with no hesitations, Peter shoved his hand into his pocket and brought out a jiggling rubber chicken. The boys stared at the chicken whilst Peter wiggled it from its feet. He giggled at the odd noise it made and how funny it looked when you stretched it.

"I've been looking for that everywhere!" Sirius said brightly. Remus did not understand what had just happened. "You can put it back in the pocket, Pete."

Peter looked reluctant, but in the end popped the jiggling rubber chicken back into Sirius' pocket.

"Wormtail…you can take your hand out of my pocket now."

"Oh, right! Sorry!"

"…Anytime today, Pete."

"Oh…you mean now? Sure."

"How did you get out of Sirius' pocket anyway?" Remus asked, thoroughly bewildered by everything.

"I fell out of his pocket when he was signing his signature into the clouds," Peter explained. He noticed the worried looks on his friends. "Don't worry. I only fell around forty feet. Rats have remarkable endurance," he spoke matter-of-factly.

"Like that time I used you as a ball to play that Muggle sport tennis with," Sirius remembered. "Ace! Love all!" he quoted the tennis terms. "Those Muggles are off their heads."

An almighty groan from Lily made the boys snap to attention. The girl tightened James' coat around her shoulders and clutched his arm as she sat up.

"What happened?" she asked groggily.

Remus stepped in. "We assume you passed out and fell off your broom."

Sirius snorted. "Assume? She nearly knocked us out of the sky, the crazy wench!"

Lily would have retaliated but dizziness prevented it. "I…fell?" She looked at James for a confirmation who nodded. "That's absurd! I am completely fine with heights and—oh God, I feel sick."

James brought her into a hug. "You have no idea how much you scared me. I mean, one second you were behind me and then you were gone and I was like, AAAH, Mr. Evans is going to kill me -"

"-really…feel sick…" Lily mumbled into James' chest.

"And I thought I'd lost you forever and for a split second I felt my heart stop and nearly losing you only made me realise how much I care about you and-"

Lily promptly vomited on James' front with a noisy, "BLEEEEURGH."

James peeked down at the mashed up cornflakes on his shirt that looked to be the remains of Lily's breakfast. However, he tried not let her vomit faze his brave speech.

"And…and…" James fumbled, losing his place. "You mean so much to me. And-and, catching you in my arms was like catching a falling angel! And-"

"BLEEEEURGH!" Lily heaved again, this time coughing up what looked like to be milk.

"And…" James tried not to grimace. "And I realise just how much I love you and if you ever leave me again I will probably die-"

"BLEEEEURGH!"

"Alright, can you stop vomiting through my speech of undying love to you?" James asked, a little annoyed, but rubbed Lily's back as she gave a painful moan. He frowned at Sirius. "And what the hell are you laughing at, butt munch?"

"Are we all agreed that we will be staying the night here, then?" Remus asked, trying to get his friends back on track.

"Its looks like we have no other choice," James gave in. Grimly, he looked down at Lily who had passed out once again; a hand gripped tightly to his shirt. "Can you hold her whilst I go change my clothes? Thanks, Moony," he said quickly in one breath so Remus could not argue, and handed Lily into his arms after unpeeling her fingers off him.

Remus not only felt uncomfortable talking to girls but holding one was on a completely new Mortification Level.

"Right," James massaged his head and got into Head Boy leader mode for the hundredth time that day. "Wormtail?" Peter brightened at the call of his name and heightened his feeble stance. "I want you to conjure up some sleeping bags, pillows- y'know, that sort of thing. Also gather up the little food we have and ration it, preferably keeping it away from Sirius-"

"I'M RIGHT HERE," Sirius reminded James crossly he was not out of his ear shot. "Geez, some people…"

"You keep holding on to Lily," James told Remus. He wished he'd been assigned to magic up some sleeping bags or possibly something similar to rearranging books in the library - that was more of his sort of thing.

"Oh, and Padfoot?" Sirius quickly lost all sulking thoughts and perked up at the idea of James thinking he was responsible enough to complete a task, and that he may indeed be useful for once in his life. "You can pick which tree is our toilet."

Sirius' face fell. "I'm the CRAPPER PERSON? Moony gets to hold your attractively ill girlfriend, and I am the CRAPPER PERSON? How is that fair? Why don't I not pick a tree and piss on your face instead! I could easily mistake that as a tree trunk! Oh yeah, I said it!"

"Calm yourself down!" James hushed him. "You can also…um…start the fire."

Sirius double punched the air, ecstatic. "OH YEAH!" He displayed his middle finger to Remus and Peter with a triumphant grin. "You can't beat that! Nothing beats the fireman!"

Remus couldn't believe what James had done and quickly felt sweat dripping from his forehead. "You're letting Sirius start the fire?" he hissed. "Are you insane? You know he's an arsonist! It wasn't an accident that the Charms classroom burnt down in third year!"

"He'll be fine," James reassured him. "Hop to, Padfoot."

"Yes Mr. Prongs!" Sirius saluted the air and dropped to his knees, collecting twigs which James guessed was for the fire.

"I'll be back soon after I change my clothes," James informed, walking deeper into the forest. "I want that fire blazing by the time I get back, alright?"

"Yes Mr. Prongs!"

"And don't touch the flames, Sirius. They will burn you."

"Kiss my arse, Mr. Prongs!"

Sirius' mouth opened in awe at the oddly impressive sleeping bags Peter had managed to materialize. Not only were they colour coordinated, blue for the boys and pink for Lily, but each bag was complete with a snugly pillow to match.

Sirius pressed a pillow warmly to his cheek. "It's like my head is resting on candy floss!" he said blissfully, petting it.

"Get back to making your fire, Sirius!"

"Yes, Moony!" Sirius tried to look as if he was doing something productive and continued back to talking to Peter once Remus looked away.

"Good man, Pete," Sirius patted Peter, purely amazed by his magic skills. "Good man."

Peter looked down at his feet which was an obvious sign of his guilt.

"Moony did it all, didn't he?" Sirius figured, pursing his lips together so he wouldn't laugh.

"Yes, but I told him where to place the sleeping bags!" Peter rectified. "But if James asks, tell him I did at all."

"Why?" Sirius asked.

Peter reddened. "I have low self esteem…"

"I will not tell you again, Sirius!"

"Yes, Moony!" Sirius clomped down on to a sleeping back, grabbed two sticks from the ground and continued back to the chore he had been doing for the past half an hour.

Peter tilted his head to one side and sat on his own sleeping bag, observing Sirius and wondering exactly why he was rubbing two sticks together. "Er…what are you doing?" he asked eventually.

"Trying to start this sodding fire!" Sirius rubbed the twigs together more vigorously and cursed. "Inferno, I say!" he roared at the twigs. "INFERNO!"

Peter thought this was part of one of Sirius' elaborate joke. After watching Sirius graze sticks together for at least another five minutes, Peter knew this couldn't be some sort of prank because Sirius was clearly an impatient person and couldn't hold out for this long.

"Sirius, why don't you just use-"

"I'm back!" James announced, appearing out of the trees with cleaner clothes but probably not a cleaner mind. He dropped the pile of firewood he had collected and dusted off his hands. Remus hurriedly handed the unconscious Lily back into James' arms before he passed out himself.

"Thanks, Moony." James observed their surroundings, looking for any signs of flames. "Padfoot! Where's the fire?"

Sirius stood up in outburst and lobbed his twigs at James' head. "I can't bloody do it, alright! It's harder than it looks!"

James would have retaliated by lobbing the sticks back at Sirius but his hands were occupied holding Lily. "Oh no…" James took one glance at the sticks and Sirius' peeved face. "Don't tell me you've been rubbing sticks together for the past half an hour," he asked dreadfully.

Sirius looked at him as if to say that there was nothing as productive he could have done with that period of time.

James looked at Remus absurdly. "You let him rub sticks together for half an hour?"

"It kept him quiet," Remus said, "He's like a puppy dog. If you just let him play with his stick –preferably not his own- then he'll be fine. Otherwise if he gets too hyperactive he'll need putting down-"

"I'M RIGHT HERE," Sirius repeated for the second time that day, extremely huffy. "Within ear shot, might I add."

James couldn't understand how Sirius had not thought of magic to start a fire. "WIZARD," James said clearly to him, hoping the word might trigger something in his head. "WIZARD," he tried again. Sirius stared on blankly. "WIZARD. WIZARD. WHIIIIIIIZARD."

"Must you spit shower me?" Sirius wiped his face. "Wizard what, exactly? I mean, how does being a wizard going to help you start a fiii…oh." Sirius clicked his fingers. "Sorry. Muggle-moment there…"

Effortlessly Remus waved his wand and with a simple fire spell a blaze erupted into ground. The boys sat down onto their sleeping bags, oddy in sync which was customary with the Marauders.

James kneeled down and placed Lily into her own sleeping bag. He was sure to slip her in tightly, if possible near to the grounds of suffocation. He pushed her nearer to the fire so she was warm and kissed her forehead goodnight.

"Aw. Going to tuck me in too, Prongsie?" Sirius teased, licking his lips. "We can get hot and steamy under the covers…"

"No thank you," James replied, nearing Lily' sleeping bag to confirm his sexuality. "Good work on the sleeping bags, Wormtail," he commented.

Peter flushed. "It was nothing, really…"

James checked for the millionth time if Lily was secured, most likely she couldn't even escape to the bathroom (which was the tree name tastefully by Sirius- 'El Crapper').

"So," Sirius dived onto his stomach and kicked his legs back and forth in the air as though he were swimming, "What do you guys want to do now? We're in the middle of a dark forest at night!" He waved his fingers in the air as if to mimic a ghost which wasn't that scary because seeing ghost was a daily occurrence in Hogwarts. "The possibilities are endless!"

"Why don't I suggest a possibility that is pretty predetermined?" Remus said as he tucked himself into his sleeping bag and gazed up at the sky. "Sleeping."

"Sleeping?" snorted Sirius. "Pah! Lets play games and sing joyous campfire songs! I'll start us off! Kum by ya, my Lord, kum by ya! Kum by ya, my Lord, kum by ya! Kum by ya, my Lord, kum by ya! Oh Lord, kum by ya! Someone's wanking, my Lord-"

"Here's my portion of rationed every flavor jellybeans," Remus cut in, shoving the sweets into Sirius' hand. "I am giving them to you, and in return you will not sing. Understood?"

Sirius nodded eagerly and thumped the air. "Score!" he rejoiced, chewing openly on his beans.

"We could always play Truth or dare?" Peter suggested, trying to appear communicative.

"Gay," Sirius dismissed instantly with a hand.

"Er…I-Spy?"

"Gay," Sirius dismissed again.

"Besides, Sirius cheats on that game by conjuring up things he can't see and claiming he can see them," Remus said. "Such as the 'Snivellus-eating tree'."

"I can't help it if you don't posses The Eye," Sirius said mysteriously, tapping his nose.

"Well, how about…Spin the bottle?"

The cricket background noise was more noticeably heard in the silence of eyeing Peter.

"Wormtail, there's only one girl here," James prompted him, "And she's my red-haired maiden." He placed a hand on Lily's sleeping bag to prove his point, and let his hand linger too long over the patch where Lily's chest was underneath. Remus gave him that look which reminded him that Lily would be extremely pissed off if she woke to him groping like that. He slowly detracted his hand.

"If you suggest Spin the bottle, you're basically saying 'Lets play spin the bottle! Except without the bottle! And with all guys!' That's what they play at Hufflepuff parties. And we're not Hufflepuffs, are we. We're Gryffindors!" Sirius roared like a lion. "Rawr!"

"Here you go." James handed over his portion of rationed jellybeans to Sirius. "Don't ever roar like a lion again."

Sirius celebrated getting yet another Marauder's portion of food but looked hesitant on not being allowed to holler. "Just one more time?"

"Fine."

"Raaaawr!"

"There. I hope you got that out of your system because you'll never be doing that again."

Remus dug in further into his sleeping bag mainly for warmth but mostly because he wanted to block out certain voices. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to sleep. Good night." He let his eyelids display.

"Moony! C'mon, stop being soft!" Sirius threw a rock at Remus but it simply bounced off him because of his werewolf potency.

"I think I'm with Moony on this one," James agreed. "G'night!" He yawned and nuzzled into his pillow.

"Not you too, Prongsie! Don't be boring!"

James turned on his side, displaying his back to Sirius.

"DON'T BE BORING," Sirius whined. "YOU'RE BEING BORING."

His droning was plainly ignored. Sirius finally remembered that he had not asked the forth Marauder. "Wormtail!" he chorused. Peter froze in the middle of climbing into his sleeping bag. "Come on, Pete!" Sirius slapped his legs as if he were calling the family pet. "Come on, Pete-y!" He resorted to whistling to attract him and considered getting out a flute like a snake charmer.

"Go to sleep, Peter," James said in a flat yet instructing tone.

Peter instantly jumped into his sleeping back and feigned slumber.

"Why do you do what James says?" Sirius sulked.

Peter popped his head out of his sleeping bag. "Because James has a girlfriend now," he explained.

Sirius looked at him blankly. "So…?"

"So," Peter emphasised, "If James has a girlfriend now, then maybe if I do whatever he does I will get a girlfriend too!"

"But you're not doing what he's doing, you're doing what he's commanding," Remus pointed out the difference drolly. "I mean, not that I'm actually listening to you ramble on or anything…" He flushed and went into fake snoring.

"So you guys are actually going to sleep? Forty winks. Slumber. Siesta. Actual sleep?"

Silence answered Sirius' question.

"Boring sods you lot are." Sirius exhaled noisily and climbed into his sleeping bag. He fluffed up his pillow at least sixteen times until Remus complained about the noise he was making.

"Night, Prongsie."

"G'night, Padfoot."

"Night, Muh-hoony!"

"Good night, Sirius…"

"Night, Wormtail."

"Niiiiiiiight!"

Sirius could not sleep. Or to be more accurate, he wouldn't sleep.

"Night, scrotal fuzz!" Sirius sang.

"G'night, sausage jockey!" James retorted.

"Night, turd burglar!"

"G'night, mork!"

Sirius gasped. "Phrasemonger!" he pointed at James, disgusted James had used his word. "You are a precociously repugnant narcissist and a ludicrous, mucous-eating excrement stain on Slughorn's underpants!"

"You are a piteously decadent pervert and a gaudy, sheep-molesting, malingering, nostril-offending turd whose natural odour could kill an elephant!"

"Ooo, nice addition on the odour," Sirius commented.

James grinned. "I know."

Remus sat up in his bed, aggravated, annoyed, and any other word with the definition of irritated.

"Go to sleep!" Remus ordered. "Both of you! Before I roll your sleeping bags into the fire!" he warned wrathfully.

The boys shot off to sleep, dreaming about the every flavour jelly beans they would have for breakfast, if Sirius hadn't eaten them all, which was almost certainly.

Lily woke to the feeling of being cocooned. Waking to the feeling of being cocooned was not only slightly constricting but a little bit scary. Caterpillars expected this feeling, and Lily –on second glance- did not appear to be a caterpillar.

With much wiggling in her sleeping bag, which she was glad to be doing when nobody was watching and only in the darkness except for the fire blazing next to her, she managed to slip out an arm from the sleeping bag. With amazing flexibility (which James very much bragged about to the Marauders) she managed to unfasten the zip so she could breathe.

A dinosaur-like snore nearby confirmed her suspicions on who exactly had fastened her in.

"James," Lily murmured.

His eyes shot open as if she had whispered in his ear and had not been snoring at full volume seconds ago. Lily blushed at James' adorability.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting up with an expression of worry.

"Nothing," Lily quickly relieved him. She unzipped her sleeping bag further and patted the space next to her. "Come here…"

James' jaw dropped - if this was what Lily was like after falling off a broomstick, then James would push her off the Astronomy Tower the second he got back to Hogwarts!

"James, you're daydreaming and the offer is only open for the next ten seconds."

Checking if his fellow Marauders were asleep, James swished his head left and right, before crawling on his hand and knees over to Lily with secret agent behaviour. He climbed into the sleeping bag and naturally wrapped an arm around Lily's waist.

"You're not going to vomit on me again, are you?" James asked hesitantly.

Lily shook her head against his chest. "Sorry for being sick on you on through your speech of undying love. Your declaration didn't make me heave, it was the flying," she clarified.

"Well, thanks for making me now think that my speech made you sick," James whispered dryly. "You know," he began running a finger through the strands of her hair, "if I had a romantic way with words, I'd make up some form of deep poetry to say how gorgeous you look with the fire making your hair glow like that."

Lily ran a finger up and down in his chest. "Yes, but I'm not going out with Remus, am I."

"You're bloody right you aren't. Or I'd put silver in his breakfast."

Lily kicked him in the leg. "Don't even joke about that!" she told him off.

"I'm kidding!" James nudged her leg back. "Playing footsie under the covers, eh, Miss Evans?" He used his toes to tickle her leg.

"Oi, stop it!" Lily tried to quieten her giggles. Their voices were noticeably disturbing the boys who flinched in their sleep. "You're going to get us caught!"

James shrugged, not bothered by the risk of getting seen by the boys and took more attention to kissing Lily's neck. He pulled the sleeping bag over their heads and grinned impishly.

"If I had my wand I'd curse you," Lily falsely threatened.

"Less talking, more snogging."

More giggles were clearly heard.

"Wos goin' on?"

The two broke apart with reddened lips. "That's Sirius!" Lily hissed.

James looked at her blankly. "So?" he said, and was about to pop his head out from behind the sleeping bag to say hello to his friend.

Lily stopped him by kicking him in the leg who groaned audibly in pain. "So?" she echoed. "So he'll know you're in here!"

"Again, I repeat the last question," James said confusedly.

"We're Head Boy and Girl!" Lily whispered. "We're not showing a very good example!"

James rolled his eyes. "Bloody hell. You and your examples…"

"Oi, redhead! You alright under there?"

Lily's tried to think fast. "You keep your head under and stay low," she commanded. James continued to give her a blank stare but stayed near to the ground by instruction.

Lily popped her head out from under the sleeping bag and was met with Sirius, sitting up with his knees bent and hair disheveled a few feet away. She faked a look of friendly politeness. "How are you, Sirius?"

He kept his suspicious expression which looked a little spooky in the light of the flames. "Moo har har har har!" he cackled.

Lily gave him a blank look.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," he admitted with a cringe. He suddenly adopted a raised eyebrow. "I heard you giggling," he stated. "Why were you giggling?"

Lily arranged her shirt that had somehow lowered in her James Potter fondling. "Isn't a girl allowed to have a silent giggle in the middle of the night, Sirius?" His eyes widened.

"Oh! I see!" He winked openly. "Playing with yourself, eh?"

"Of course not, you dirty minded boy!" Lily let out a shriek as James hands had wandered to her thigh. She dug a hand back into the sleeping bag and slapped him hard. Sirius watched this with confusion.

"Leg cramps," she clarified, and made another smack under the covers.

Sirius straightened with curiosity and peeked over at Lily's sleeping bag. She kept her strained smile.

"What's happened to you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Have you suddenly grown obese?" Sirius frowned, pointing two floppy and confused fingers at her. "Your sleeping bag looks all fat and lumpy."

"Are you implying I'm fat, huh? Huh!" Lily faked heavy panting as if she was about to break into uncontrollable sobbing.

Sirius panicked. "Oh, no, no, no!" He put up his hands in defence. "Jesus, don't cry! I'm sorry! I'll leave you to your giggling and go back to sleep!" He slammed his head against his pillow and began snoring.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief. She slipped her head back into the sleeping bag and shone James a triumphant smile.

"Oh, and get in there, Prongsie!"

James raised his eyebrows at Lily, as if to say 'I knew that was going to happen.' He closed his eyes and snuggled into Lily's frame, ready to sleep.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I…?"

James snapped open his eyes, confused about her hesitance.

"Can I see your Animagus form?"

"What?"

"Your Animagus form," Lily repeated. "Can I see it?"

"…Now?"

"No, next sodding Christmas," Lily rolled her eyes. "Of course now!"

James yawned to appear more tired than he actually was. "But I'm exhausted," he said, outstretching his arms.

"Do you want to sleep by yourself?"

James' yawn ended as he locked his mouth together. "Righto then…"

He grudgingly exited the sleeping bag and kneeled on the forest floor. He checked it if the boys were fully asleep before breathing a calm breath in and out.

"Oooga, booga! Oooga, booga!" he chanted, his hands waving outrageously. "Stag-oooo! Transform-ooo!"

"What the hell are doing?" Lily cut in, a hand on her hip. "I don't remember reading that transforming into an Animagus form required chanting."

James flushed and ran a hand through his hair. "It doesn't," he admitted. "I just wanted to make it more exciting…"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Get on with it!" she pressed.

James made another calming breath in and out and kept his arms down at his sides. He kept his mind focused on his inner stag as he transformed yet still kept an impish James Potter grin on his face. Lily watched his body alter, and in barely seconds, he had sprouted four legs and stood proudly as a stag. She was in awe of him, especially with the flames of the fire wavering in the background, giving James an even bolder and snazzy appearance.

"I could do that, but I don't want to," Lily pouted and folded her arms mulishly. She had to admit she was a little envious that James excelled at something that she couldn't master with remedial classes.

She watched as the stag clomped his feet forward, cocking his head attractively to one side. Lily did not respond and remained in a mood; she finally reacted when James started nudging her arm with his head.

"Fine," Lily gave in and outstretched her arm. Shakily she began stroking his back and found it rather soothing. If stags could purr, James would be indeed purring.

"You're still handsome, even in bloody animal form," Lily sulked, but didn't stop stroking the stag's coat.

Suddenly James poked her boob with an antler.

"You're still perverted even in Animagus form…"

James found himself getting lost in his stag thoughts. If he didn't concentrate, the stag part of his mind would take over and he'd end up marking his territory by a lot of widespread spraying. Sirius occasionally got lost in his dog thoughts, James had unfortunately gone down that road.

The stag stepped closer to Lily as he grinded his hooves on the ground.

"What are you doing?" she asked warily, backing up.

James suddenly pounced on her and tried to climb on to her back - apparently it was mating season for Mr. Prongs.

"James!" Lily shrieked.

Sirius and Remus instantly sat up in their sleeping bags at such high pitched screaming. Panicking at such a noise, Sirius dashed over to Remus' sleeping bag and hooked his arms around his neck in fear.

"Get off, Sirius!" Remus flushed at such close proximities. "What have I told you about passing the bounds of communal behaviour?"

Sirius turned to the source of the screaming where Prongs still appeared to be trying to climb onto Lily's back. "What the hell is going on?" he asked Lily directly.

"It's James!" Lily clarified before the boys got the wrong idea.

Sirius still remained disturbed. "And that makes more sense how?"

"How many times do I have to scream elongated, convoluted verbal abuse until I get some sleep?" Remus cried before disappearing under the covers. "Get out of my sleeping bag, Sirius!"

"Sorry," he apologized, scratching his head. He climbed back into his own sleeping bag and tried to get back to his 'Dog Nap'.

James finally seemed to focus his thoughts, stopped trying to hump Miss Evans, and transformed back to human form. Once all bones and limbs were resized back to normal, he stood embarrassingly in front of Lily with his head bowed like a disobedient servant.

"Sorry about that," he tittered. Lily did not look at all amused. "My Prongs thoughts took over."

"Get to your sleeping bag," she ordered straight away.

"What? But I thought we were-"

"Now."

James kicked a stone as he brooded. "Bugger," he muttered, sliding into his sleeping bag with a moody expression.

"Tough luck, Prongsie!"

"Oh shut up."