Chapter 15-Piggy Me Back! And Mars Bars?

James sighed, massaging his head before jumping to his feet in the direction of where Lily ran off. He ran through the darkness, pushing past tree branches and manoeuvring over bushes, completely at a loss to where exactly he was, especially when it was a gloomy black. Smacking himself in the head for his stupidity, he grabbed his wand out of his back pocket and muttered a 'lumos.'

It wasn't any comforting to illuminate the dark forest he had somehow got himself into.

"Lily?" He called, still running the trail. "Lily, where are y-WAAAH!"

James felt something push on both his legs, making him fall forwards and onto his stomach. "Bugger it," he grunted, especially not in a good mood to have landed in a mound of leaves.

"Oh. So you fell over the same thing I did."

James jumped, instantly recognising the voice. "Lily?" He grasped for his wand that had fallen out of his hand and pointed it to the side of him. "There you are," he greeted her with a sigh of relief, then made a frown as he realised she was lying on the ground with her ankle in an odd position. "What are you doing on the floor?"

"I enjoy lying on the floor for amusement, James," she rolled her eyes, "My ankle's hurt, idiot!"

James cringed and got to his feet, luckily not having any injuries. "Wait, what thing did we both fall over?"

Lily pointed her finger and he followed his gaze with his wand over to a piece of string which was tied between two trees. Abruptly, James turned white - he knew that exact piece of string was a Marauder prank speciality; it was an old Muggle joke but it worked wonders in Hogwarts corridors on people like Snape or innocent bystanders.

"I wonder what twat put that up," Lily grumbled.

Like hell would James tell her it was one of the Marauders - however, he had to thank them. This had probably been their Plan B if the fireworks idea was unsuccessful, stopping Lily by any force, so much force that it tripped her up and sprawled her on the floor.

Lily made a painful hiss as she clutched her ankle.

"Can you walk?" James asked, kneeling next to her.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno. I haven't tried yet." She put her hands flat to the ground to bend on her tiptoes, trying to slowly stand with weight off her left foot, but she flinched as James grasped her arm to help her.

She flicked her finger at his face.

"Ow!" James clutched his cheek. "What the hell was that for?"

"I don't need your help," she said stubbornly and elbowed his arm away.

"Fine," James backed up and smiled in amusement. He folded his arms in a parental way and watched Lily grumble painfully as she struggled to her feet. As her left leg was lifted, she slowly touched it to the ground and made a cry of agony, making another cry as she faltered and fell again.

But she wasn't worried. Because James Potter would be a gentleman and obviously catch her in his arms.

Too bad he didn't.

"Um..." James watched Lily lie on the ground making a sort of peculiar whimper. "Was that my cue to, er-"

"Help me up, you prat!"

James quickly hurried over to her and Lily tried for a second time to stand, which was successful but only with the help of James supporting her.

"We better get you to the Hospital wing."

"Great," Lily muttered, hobbling along with a limp. "Another night of Madam Pom Poms, another chance for her to drug me."

James laughed and they shuffled their way back through the path they had ambled into, until they suddenly fell over again.

"You didn't cut the string!" Lily shrieked, looking back to see the string still tied in between the trees.

James reddened. "Yeah...didn't think of that."

"God, how do you survive, James?"

"Merlin knows." He stood up again, raising a hand to ruffle his hair but remembered his tea cosy hat would prevent it. However, he felt his rock solid Snape tresses through his fingers.

That hat...had fallen.

"Oh my goodness," Lily spurted in between wheezing breaths of laughter. "You have Snape hair!" She pointed at him, cackling.

James folded his arms again. "You know," he observed her with a smirk, "You're awfully attractive when you mock me."

Immediately, Lily shut up and reddened. "Help me up," she ordered, reaching out her hand for him to pull, but to her horror, he had started walking away, leaving her in the darkness.

"Where are you going?" she said with a hint of worry.

James spun around. "Well, I don't really want to walk back to school with someone who's going to tease me." He made an evil smile and said a simple, "Ta-ta," exiting.

Lily's jaw dropped in indignation. "James, get back here!" She scrambled in her pockets for her wand but couldn't find it. She looked up again and was surrounded by gloom, not even seeing an outline of James or the light of his wand. His abrupt disappearance unsettled her.

Snap.

Her head flinched as she heard the sound of a twig breaking behind her. She sat up, clutching her ankle that throbbed.

"Who's there?" Lily demanded.

Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed her waist.

"AAAARGH!" she yelled, punching out her fists in all directions, her only means of defence. The smack of her hand into something solid was a sign that she'd hit whatever the creature was- extremely pleased with herself when it made a painful wail.

As a lit wand shone in her face and illuminated their own, she made a breath of anger.

"You arse face!" Lily smacked James in the chest, who didn't appreciate the hit when he was already injured.

James clutched at his bleeding nose as he tilted his head back. "You punched me!"

"I thought you were a rapist!" Lily yelled, but softened slightly when she spotted his bleeding nose that was trailing down his face. "Don't you ever do that again!" she warned him, trying to calm her quickening heartbeat.

"C'mon," James smiled, a hand still on her waist. "You didn't really think I'd leave you here, did you?"

"I didn't think you'd actually leave that string still tied between the trees but you somehow proved me wrong..." Lily eyed his hand with suspicion. She ignored the fact that it felt kind of nice and merely blamed it on the near concussion she had from two falls and a possible twisted ankle.

"Ah, Christ," James muttered in a squeaky voice, as his finger was held over his nose.

"You sound like a chipmunk," Lily stated. "Give me your wand," she said as more of a statement, grabbing his wand from his pocket. She pointed at James' nose, speaking a simple incantation that stopped the bleeding and left no traces of blood.

James admired her handiwork and touched his clean face. "Hey, you could be a good healer when you grow up."

"That's if you don't kill me first," Lily muttered dryly.

James moved his hand to under her arm to help her. "Shall we try this again, then?"

She mumbled a stubborn, "Whatever," and let him pull her along. "You know, if my ankle wasn't hurt I'd kick you one."

"You could always use the other leg."

"Good point."

"Ow! I was kidding," James clarified, wincing. "We can't have two people with bad feet. Don't make me leave you here."

Lily laughed, recognising the false threat.

James suddenly stopped in his tracks, feeling he need to justify something to Lily about the fireworks mix up, which was a bad move because Lily tumbled forward wailing her arms as she fell flat on her face for the third time.

James cringed again and quickly helped her to her feet.

"If I fall one more time, I will be using unforgivable curses," she declared, brushing herself off.

"I just wanted to say that the last message in the fireworks was not by me," James said seriously, looking her in the eye.

Lily kept her face unreadable and said a toneless, "I should hope so."

James raised his eyebrows, confused by her reaction. "It was Sirius who probably wrote it. Not me," he repeated again to get his point across.

"I should hope so," she echoed.

"Right." James opened his mouth in fluster. "Glad I...cleared that up, then."

Lily made a sigh as she noticed his obvious perplexity. "Look, I'm letting it go," she told him. "Do you want me to be mad at you?"

James shook his head vigorously, regretting it as his neck clicked. "No, of course not."

"Then stop complaining!"

"Um...okay!" James smiled at how well the situation was going; Lily not being mad at him was something he was not use to.

As they hobbled along pathetically, managing to reach the main street of the Hogsmeade village, James formed a smirk as he glanced at Lily next to him.

"What?" she demanded, noticing his giddiness.

He quirked an eyebrow and twisted his mouth to one side in an amused expression. "I'm growing on you, aren't I?" he said in a delighted, surprised tone.

Lily latched a hand on to his hair and gripped it hard.

At first, James thought this was a sign of lust and passion, but it hurt his head, and he realised she was actually causing him an inordinate amount of pain and trying to rip his hair off.

"Listen here, buddy," Lily hissed, thrusting his head towards her.

"Ow ow ow..."

"You get me back to Hogwarts soon or I will kick your arse! Do you understand me?"

"Yeah yeah yeah," James reassured her quickly, making a sigh of relief as she unlocked her hand. Lily replied with a satisfied expression at his fearful gasps of breath and carried on hopping along.

After a few minutes of more pathetic hobbling, they were starting to get impatient.

"This is ridiculous," Lily complained. "At this rate it'll take forever to back to school. Let's ask someone to help us," she pointed to the occasional witch or wizard that passed them on their late night shopping.

James hesitated but gave in because he was a pushover for Lily. "You stay here," he told her, propping her down on the ground. She was slightly annoyed by the way he had put her down like a rag-doll, but by this time was so tired from pain and walking that she didn't object and lay on her back.

James jogged over to a middle aged wizard in rather expensive robes who seemed to be walking in a hurry. The second James took in his appearance he thought maybe Lily's idea wasn't so intelligent.

"Um, excuse me?" James asked politely. The man took one glance at him and stepped around him. Annoyed at how rude the man was being, James caught up to the man again and stood in front of him so he could not pass.

"Excuse me," James asked again more forcefully. The man instantly started emptying his pockets, taking out galleons from his wallet. "No, I'm not going to mug you," James said with annoyance. The man looked at him with suspicion. "I was wondering if you could help-"

"Jaaaames," Lily drawled from the floor. He chose to ignore her and didn't turn around.

The wizard spotted her lying on the ground and made a deep frown. "Why is that young witch lying there?"

"Because a Hippogriff ran over the benches," he explained vaguely. "Anyway, can you-"

"Jaaaames!" Lily bawled with a tinge of impatience.

He finally turned around in confusion, wondering why she was calling him and interrupting their conversation.

"I'm hungry!" she complained, rubbing her stomach.

"Lily, can't you see I'm talking here?" James hissed.

Unfortunately, as James had spun around, he revealed his trousers with an extremely muddy stain to his bottom. To say the stranger looked disturbed was an understatement.

"Have you got any food?" she continued to drawl.

"I'll be over in a sec, okay? Just let me-" James turned around and found the man had disapparated. "Damn it! Now look what you did, Lily!" He stomped his foot and went back over to the famished redhead. "You calling my name in a seductive voice distracted me!"

"Sorry," Lily mumbled, making hungered whimpers. "Wait a minute, 'seductive'?"

James laughed nervously and decided to use this opportune moment to jog after another passing pedestrian; there weren't many to pick from considering it was late so he couldn't exactly be fussy.

"Hello, miss?" James tapped the shoulder of a small figure. Slowly, the woman spun around and James gasped.

"YOU!" The elderly witch pointed at him, wrinkles magnified as her teeth clenched.

James paled. "Um, sorry! I thought you were someone I knew! I have to go now," he made to run off but the old woman grabbed on to his shirt collar in quite surprising strength for someone who looked so frail.

"You're the boy who fell on me earlier! Do you know how many bones you may have broken?"

James eyed her up and down. "Well, considering you're healthy and standing, and have a mighty grip," he tried to pick off the fingers wrapped on his collar, "I'd say no bones were broken."

"That's not the point!" she scrunched her nose at him. "You younglings these days. No respect for your elders!"

"Can you please let me go," James pleaded, "I have to get over to my, er, girlfriend! She's DYING-" he decided not to mention with hunger, "over there!" He was about to point to where Lily was but the woman had hushed him.

"I have the right mind to report you to the Ministry of Magic for your behaviour!" She breathed a foul stench over him. Unfortunately, James could not block the aroma.

"You smell like PRUNES!" he cried, near tears in his eyes.

"How dare you! You rude little boy!"

James had no other options, as the woman's fingers wrapped around his collar were the only thing preventing his escape; he had to do something. He couldn't exactly beat the woman up, so, he just bit her hand instead.

"AAARGH!"

James mentally cheered as the woman released him and put her hand to her chest, inspecting the bite marks. Slightly gagging, James ran over to where Lily was lying, who was oblivious to the whole scene.

"C'mon, we have to run," James pulled her to feet. He glimpsed over to the old woman who was slowly coming over, waving her wand in the air. "Crap, c'mon, Lily!"

"What's going on?" she said confusedly. She made a hiss of pain as he tried to quickly. "My ankle, you tosser! I can't hop that fast!" She glanced behind her. "Oh no, it's that old woman we fell on!"

James nodded. "I bit her hand, now let's go!" He pulled her along.

Lily took a step back. "You bit her hand!" She gave him a look that asked, 'since when have you become a cannibal?'. "Why?"

"Because she was trying to kill me! Can't you hop any faster?"

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Do you want me to grab your hair again, James?"

He looked again to the old woman who was barely feet away. "Come back here, boy!" the old biddy yelled.

"Old people like that should be locked up in homes," James said, "or just die already." He glanced at Lily whose steps were so slow that she seemed tostop time. "I'll have to carry you," he decided.

"I think I've had enough of the whole sling-Lily-over-your-shoulder thing."

James looked at her impatiently. "I'll give you a piggyback then!" he compromised. "C'mon." He lowered to his knees and waited for to get on his back.

Lily looked down at her clothes. "James, I'm not exactly dressed for piggyback rides." She made a mental note to never wear a skirt again, no matter how pretty they looked.

"Lily, I'm bending over for you, DAMN IT! NOW RIDE ME!" James yelled, and regretted his words as they sounded extremely dirty.

She made an uncomfortable cough. "Er, ride you?"

"Just get on."

Lily sighed, brushing off her hands, and was about to climb a leg over James' back when she froze.

"Er, James?"

"WHAT!"

"Are you aware that there's a brown patch on your jeans?" she asked, slightly traumatized.

James straightened, trying to look at his behind whilst feeling his bottom. He attempted to sniff it, but to everyone who knows and has tried sniffing their own butt; it's rather difficult. "I think it's mud," he reddened.

"Mud," Lily abbreviated with air quotes. "Muuud."

"It is!" James insisted. "I swear it-aah!" he broke off into a shriek as the old woman's spell shot passed his hair and slightly singed it.

"Please, Lily?" He bent over again.

"I did not picture this when I decided to go on a date with you," she grumbled. Tensely, she climbed onto his back, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. This would have been fun if she were six, not sixteen. Now it just felt embarrassing.

"Let's go, piggy," Lily smirked nonetheless, patting a hand softly on his Snape hair. James tried to ignore the fact that her fingers felt so smooth when they brushed against his skin, and focused on the old lady that was shooting curses at them both.

Lily rested her head on top of James' shoulder and made a defiant 'hmph'.

"How much longer?" she whined.

Dragging his feet, James glanced at the Quidditch pitch they were passing. "Not long," he answered.

Lily squirmed. "Can you not make such giant steps? When you do that, you, uh, kind of thrust me into your back..." she trailed off, too embarrassed to explain any further.

James promptly made his steps smoother.

"Stop tapping my head."

Lily had been continuously tapping James' head for the past fifteen minutes, mesmerised by the severity of it, and the way her hand seemed to bounce off in impact.

"I can't help it." Lily's breath tingled on James' shoulder without her notice, though James felt like he was going to collapse. She made another violent smack at his hair. "It's just so damn HARD."

James made an entangled choking sound. "Please don't say that word in front of me," he murmured.

Lily was oblivious to his thriving hormones. "But it's so hard though," she repeated. "I mean," she tried to grip her fingers into his hair, but to James, her sharp nails massaging his head were making him extremely turned on. "It's like cement! What did you use?"

James tried to concentrate on what she was talking about. "Sirius' stuff."

Lily made a snort into his neck and he wobbled like jelly. "I wouldn't touch anything he owned with a barge poll," she laughed. "I don't know how you'll get this stuff to COME off."

"I can't do this," James stopped in his tracks, panting.

"What? What do you mean? We're nearly there!" Lily pointed to Hogwarts oak doors feet away.

"Okay," James tried to calm himself. "Just a little further," he whispered, taking a few hurried and stumbling steps forward.

"COME on. We're nearly there," Lily cheered him on; clueless to how her words were affecting them.

With a few more desperate sprinting steps from James, the couple finally got to the oak doors. James breathed a sigh of relief, letting Lily drop from his back to support her again as they walked over to the entrance.

The oak doors were shut.

"Crap!" James tried to push the door open with the tips of his fingers. "There's no way of getting in without a professor seeing us. And then we'll be in deep cack."

Suddenly, he made a delighted squeal as he felt something touch his buttocks. "Did you just touch my arse?" he asked Lily, raising an eyebrow.

She smacked him upside the head.

"I got your wand from you back pocket," Lily rectified, waving his wand in front of him. "You really shouldn't put it there. One day your arse could blow up."

"That'd be messy," James commented, pondering an image of Sirius' arse exploding in his mind.

"Alohomora," Lily muttered, pointing at the door.

"Um, Lily, I don't think-"

"Aloh-bloody-omora, stupid door!" she shouted, swishing the wand again. As the door predictably did nothing, she groaned and rested her forehead on the oak door which forbade entry.

James rubbed his chin and said, "I think I've got a plan."

Lily lifted her head from the door and put her hands on her hips. "Let me guess: you want to go into the Forbidden forest and find Hippo the Hippogriff who escaped back into there earlier, and mount the magical creature where it will fly us to the Astronomy Tower, which we will then be able to depart and get into the school without any professors knowing a thing."

James nodded, "Pretty much."

Lily's jaw dropped. "I was joking!"

"Well, I'm not."

Lily shook her head. "But...but," she shrugged her shoulders, "Okay, 'but' was pretty much all I had," she said, defeated.

"Let's go then!" James said jovially, turning from the oak door and marching in the direction of the Forbidden forest. He took a few steps forward before a rock was thrown at his head.

"Ow," he muttered in confusion.

"Forgetting someone, piggy?"

James whirled round with a wince. Lily waved her hand to her ankle and her lack of moving fast.

"Right." He jogged back over to her, bending over as she climbed on to his back once more.

"Well, let's get going, piggy," she commanded, continuing back to hitting James' hair for amusement.

James grumbled, "Must you call me 'piggy'?"

"It's compulsory," Lily insisted. "This is a piggy back ride, so therefore you are the piggy."

"Wait," James stopped again, "Aren't you the piggy? Because I'm giving you the ride and-"

"Don't make me pull your hair again."

"Yes, miss."

Lily gulped, holding James' wand in front of them, as James' hands were preoccupied by carrying her in the piggy back ride. She flinched again as she heard another sound of a rustle, tightening her arm grip around James' neck.

"Lily, you're choking me," he coughed.

"Sorry," she whispered, but did not lessen her grip. "I don't think this was such a good idea. I wouldn't even go in here in daylight. But I assume that it's probably still this dark here in daytime anyway."

"If it helps, I've been in here plenty of times and only got hurt about...twice."

Lily gave him an exasperated look. "How was telling me that helpful in any way?" she hissed.

James looked at her apologetically. "Don't worry," he reassured her in a whisper. "All we have to do is be quiet, find the Hippogriff, and we'll be out of here in no time."

Another rustle was heard.

Lily moved the wand of light around wildly. "There is too much rustling in here. It's not even windy," she said shrilly. "James? James, are you listening to me?" She nudged his neck.

He held a hand in the air to signal her to stop talking. "Shh," he hushed her. "Do you hear voices?"

Lily listened hard and could hear the faint sound of talking and hooves stomping the ground. "Hippogriff's don't talk," she murmured.

James formed a fearful nod of the head and squinted as he looked forward, seeing something in the distance of the trees. "Lily, put the wand light out."

She did not need telling twice, quickly flicking it off. She kept silent as James carefully took a few quiet steps forward; the faint voices slowly getting louder. Once James thought it would be risky to go any closer forward, he stopped behind the trunk of a tree.

They slowly poked their heads from behind it to see where the voices had come from.

"I've never seen them in the forest before," James murmured to Lily, her eyes fixed on the many horse-like creatures between the branches. "What are they?"

Lily gasped, half-impressed and half in fear. "Centaurs," she breathed.

Just as James was about to ask more, something twisted them around and clamped their mouths shut. The couple made a muffled squeal as they were faced with the astonishingly blue of eyes of a centaur.

"Do not speak," he whispered, "I will not harm you." He held his hands over their mouths for a few more seconds until he lifted them once he was satisfied they would not scream their lungs dry with hysterics.

James clutched his chest. "Bloody hell, I think I just pissed myself."

Lily pulled on his ear, "What did he just say not to do, idiot!"

The centaur hushed them again, peeping from behind the tree at his pack in the distance. "Please quiet your voices," he murmured again. He looked back at the couple and said a simple, "Follow me," walking in the opposite direction of the group of centaurs.

James and Lily watched with gaping mouths as the centaur walked away.

James tilted his head up to look at Lily. "I say we run for it," he whispered.

"What?" Lily hissed. "We can't run! We have to follow him! They are extremely intelligent creatures. I've read about them in the book-"

"Please don't get all Remus Lupin on me," James cut it, not wanting to hear any recited descriptions of the creature. "Look, if we just run-"

"Please follow me now," the centaur cut in, turning around to face them, "I do not want to use force," he warned.

James made a defeated sigh, hesitantly following the centaur whilst Lily clung to his back nervously. After at least five minutes of following the stranger through the forest, the centaur finally came to a stop.

"Mars gets brighter by the day," he said, tilting his head skywards.

James and Lily followed his gaze, squinting as they tried to see what he saw; it just looked like a bundle of stars to them.

The centaur finally remembered the couple was there after a few minutes of deluded stargazing. "Who are you?"

"Er," James fumbled, obviously still in shock that there was a talking 'horse' in front of him, and whether he wanted a character biography from them.

"I'm Lily Evans," she greeted him, "and this is James Potter. We're pupils from the Hogwarts School. I'd shake hands but I'd fall off his back."

The centaur's eyes seemed to widen at their names. "Potters," he murmured.

Lily furrowed her brow. "Er, no. Just one here," she said, noticing the duplicate.

"Right," he nodded, making a knowing smile to himself as if he knew something they didn't. He tilted his head to the sky again and said, much annoyingly to James and Lily, "Mars gets brighter by the day."

Again, the couple tried to focus on what he was looking at.

"Do you think he's talking about the Muggle chocolate bar?" James murmured to Lily.

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Hehehehe I enjoy writing this stuff... I absolutly love this story and i have no idea what to do when i finish it.... OH NO!!!!!!! NO MORE FUNNYNESS AFTER *checks number of chapter* 9 MORE CHAPTERS!!!!! Boooooooo......... Well this suxxxx..... Lets see if i can find something more funny to write.....? :\

Well this was a long one... I only write such long chappies for this story.... SO BE GLAD!!!!!!!!!! Had PIZZA!!!!!!! Yum...... Now Bye. Incase you didnt notice, I have other stuff to write.... I think i'm mental that i put so many stories up....

<3 (NOT! {JK!}) Y