Chapter 11-Oho! Potoins with the Slug (Part One)

The next morning, James was not amused. Not only did he have Potions with an obese perverted professor, but his friends had been acting unusually edgy and kept their eyes on him at all times - which was mainly because they were worried that James would have a sudden spontaneous suicide attack. But James told them he was past that 'suicidal phase', as if he would try doing that again-

"James, back away from the window," Remus commanded.

James glowered, put his hands in the air and backed away.

"Good Prongsie," Sirius patted him on the head, and then dragged him to the middle of the corridor away from windows and any sharp objects.

"I was just admiring the scenery," James fibbed.

"I don't think you're supposed to stretch your head that far out of the window," Peter said. "Or put your leg out either."

The Marauders trudged along to the dungeons very unenthusiastically.

"Potions," Sirius said with a scowl. "God, how I hate Potions."

"She hates me," James said miserably, his mind totally focused on the girl with red hair who shall not be named because everyone knows who he's on about. "She hates-"

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius interrupted, waving a hand to dismiss any more miserable mutterings that were contagious. Sirius was not feeling his cheery self and Remus and Peter had faces full of displeasure. "We know, Prongs. Evans hates you, blah blah blah," he gestured a yapping hand, "We'll sort it out later. As I was saying: Potions...God, how I hate Potions."

Remus was a little confused at Sirius despising the subject. "What are you talking about, Padfoot? Slughorn likes you. He invites you to his dinners, which you don't attend by the way." His tone suggested annoyance in Sirius purposely ignoring the professor's persistent invitations.

"You know me, Moony," Sirius said, "Things to do...Friends to see..."

"You have other friends?" Peter questioned - a little hurt that Sirius possibly had a bigger social circle of companions.

James scoffed. "Padfoot's lying. He has no other friends except us. Everyone else finds him annoying."

Remus and James exchanged a look that said they both found Sirius annoying but were still his friend anyway.

"Well, I have opportunities of making much better friends," he stuck his tongue out boldly. "Anyway, I don't exactly like being in the 'Slug Club'." He made air quotes with distaste.

"Same here," James agreed, frowning at the name of the clique.

"You've never been to one of his suppers either," Remus pointed out.

"Much too busy with Quidditch practices." James made an athletic stretch to prove his point. Remus threw him a suspicious look at how James conveniently had Quidditch at the exact time and day of the Slug Club gatherings. "I dunno why you go, Moony. It must be boring surrounded by all those snobs and freakishly studious people."

"You must fit in with the latter though," Sirius added thoughtfully.

"I'm being sociable," Remus said, ignoring Sirius' comment. "The company's not too bad. Sometimes Lily comes-"

"Evans?" James said, his head snapping at the sound of her name. He grabbed Remus by the shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me she came?" He made a strangled cry. "If I'd have know she came, I would have come!"

"Sorry, James," Remus apologized, dusting off his shoulders. "I go because the suppers are interesting. Not because of the specific company."

"With company like The Slug, I don't blame you," Sirius said.

"The food is good too, isn't it?" Peter asked, thoroughly depressed by the fact that he was currently failing Potions and had never received a violet-ribbon invitation, or was even acknowledged by the professor correctly who continuously mistook him for 'Paul'.

Remus was about to protest that the suppers were interesting because of the conversations, not the food, but he eventually gave in to the fact that Peter was quite right.

"Well, there are nice pumpkin pastries," Remus said feebly.

"Ha!" Sirius pointed a finger disapprovingly at him. "I knew food was involved somehow!"

"Yes, Padfoot," James said in a patronizing tone. "Food is normally involved in supper."

"I don't like it when you're depressed, you get all witty," Sirius frowned at James. "Anyway, it's alright for you, Moony, you got in the Slug Cub for being intelligent and all. I got in for being in my famous, Pureblood, Muggle hating family of inbreeds."

Remus winced, knowing not to evaluate on the subject of the Black family before Sirius started ranting and cursing everyone to Bulgaria. "Well, that's understandable why you don't go," he told him sympathetically.

"What about me?" James asked. "I got in also for being in a famous Wizarding family. I don't exactly want to be interrogated by The Slug about why I am quite well known and also who I know is well known so he can meet them."

"Don't you just dislike him because he has a particular interest with Lily?" Remus said sceptically.

"That has nothing to do with it!" James protested, glaring at his friends who tried to hide their chuckles. "Perverted old man," he muttered.

"I wouldn't mind going to one of The Slug's suppers," Peter mumbled.

"Well, Pete, all you have to do is become famous, or be in a repulsive family of Muggle haters who despise anyone with less than a hundred percent magical blood," Sirius said.

Peter was somehow glad that he was his usual pathetic self.

"Hey guys!"

The Marauders whipped round at the call and were faced with Frank with an unusual elated grin, his arm wrapped around the waist of Alice who was nuzzling his neck.

"Hi," the boys greeted the couple.

"I'll see you later, Allie," Frank told Alice, beckoning for her to leave him for 'man talk'. She gave Frank a seductive smile and a goodbye departure of tongue waggling that lasted at least five minutes -a very squirming and painful five minutes for the Marauders- until the girl finally left.

"Everything alright with the misses, then?" James assumed, not hiding his dejected mood.

Frank looked a little taken aback by James' bitter face, but nonetheless smiled that shit-eating grin.

"I found Whiskers this morning!" Frank announced. The boys gasped falsely to the news which they'd been practising for at least ten minutes in their dorm after discovering Whiskers back to his cat body and delivered him to Frank's bed.

"He was by the bottom of my bed!" Frank carried on explaining. "Can you bloody believe it?"

"I'm simply astounded," Remus said.

"Amazing," Peter squeaked.

"It's like Father Christmas delivering early!" Sirius rejoiced.

James was too down-beat to fib a surprised reaction.

"Alice and I are fine now. Actually, more than fine, if you know what I mean..." Frank raised his eyebrows mischievously. "Y'know what I mean? Right? Ri-"

"Yes," James cut in, grimacing. "We guessed from the tongue waggling."

Again, Frank looked confused at James' sombre mood. "What's up with you, James? You seemed to be doing your own 'tongue waggling' yesterday." James felt himself start to crumble. "Are you feeling better?"

"I hate life," James declared, then walked off in a huff to the dungeons, whilst his friends watched him drag his feet with extra pathetic demeanour.

"Merlin, so bent," Sirius emphasised.

"You're being inconsiderate again," Remus told him off.

Frank scratched his head in bewilderment. "Er...was it something I said?"

The boys rolled their eyes at him, confirming the answer to be a definite yes.

"Oops," Frank cringed. "Well, I better get going." He hurried off to his first lesson, luckily not with the Marauders, and more specifically not with James, who was not in the particular mood to be around people who were in happy relationships.

On that note, the remaining Marauders walked to Slughorn's classroom, entering with the rest of the sixth years. James was already inside, his forehead pathetically resting on his desk.

"Quickly now, sit down and settle!" Professor Slughorn called over the murmurings. His moustache fluttered and stomach jiggled as he spoke.

The second Sirius and Remus arrived; Slughorn spotted them and strode forwards, grinning from ear to ear. Unfortunately, Peter was pushed aside as Slughorn's stomach flung him away without the professor's awareness.

"Oho! M'boys!" Slughorn greeted them.

Remus forced a smile. "Hello, Professor."

"Hel-lo professor!" Sirius sang and pressed a hand to his mouth in fake surprise. "Have you lost weight, sir?" A few classmates snorted. "You're lookingbuff, sir!"

Remus and Peter looked horrified; James still sat with his head on his desk, looking on the verge of heaving his guts out.

"I had thought I've been slimming down lately." Slughorn proudly smiled and rubbed his stomach, making the class slightly heave.

"Oh, Professor! With a figure like yours, you don't need to!"

Slughorn made an ear-splitting laugh that was a cross between Father Christmas' ho-ho's and a stampede of wailing elephants.

"Such a charmer, Sirius. I was like that at your age," Slughorn insisted.

Remus finally took notice that Peter was on the floor and helped him to his feet. Peter wanted to be involved so tried to engage in the conversation.

"That must have been a long time ago, right, sir?" Peter said, which wasn't the wisest thing to say - his words seeming to be blatantly reminding the professor that he was not young in years.

"Yes," Slughorn said sceptically. "Yes, Paul." He turned his attention to Remus.

"It's Peter," he mumbled painfully, then took a seat next to James, who's face was so depressed that it looked like his seat was stuck to his arse...no wait, it was. Sirius had stuck Wizard Icky Sticky Glue to his stool.

"Remus, I trust you will be attending another one of my suppers tomorrow?" Slughorn assumed.

Remus forced another smile. "Yes professor."

"And Sirius, you have not had the pleasure-" Sirius coughed "-of being present at one of my suppers," he said with a hurt expression.

Sirius looked abruptly nervous. "Oh, er, I am otherwise engaged in...Detention with...Professor McGonagall," he lied.

"Oho, that is unlucky," Slughorn said. "I'm sure the detention could be revoked once I inform Minerva of the circumstances!"

Sirius did not like the sound of this. He did not want any more trouble with McGonagall who was still annoyed after being pounced on in the corridor by Double Agent Padfoot and his pointing finger Gun of Doom. She was especially displeased when she heard Sirius pretend to shoot people in the Great Hall that morning and had forbidden Sirius and the rest of the Marauders from playing the 'Secret Agent' game ever again.

"Oh no, no need to bother, professor! Her decision cannot be budged! You cannot argue with Minerva, after all. She gets highly stressed. She surely needs a holiday. All she ever thinks is 'Work! Work! Work!' Such a focused witch." Sirius spoke with such a grace that made him sound like another teacher having a casual chat at lunch.

"Yes, yes," Slughorn agreed, "Minerva does work too hard." He nodded thoughtfully and turned his attention to James. "James, m'boy? I haven't seen you at one of my suppers either."

"Quidditch," he grunted, then replaced his head back on his desk with no other explanations.

Slughorn peeked at James worriedly. "Is he ill?"

"No, sir," Sirius scowled with disapprove at James. "Woman problems, sir. Puppy love. I bet you have no problems in that department, right, sir? I bet you have to fight back the woman after you, sir!" He shadow boxed.

"If only that were true, m'boy," Slughorn sighed and glanced around the classroom at his students. "Oho! Lily!" He rejoiced, spotting the red hared girl chatting with a friend as they took their bags off their shoulders.

"And then Potter just-" Lily paused in the middle of talking, cringing at the sound of her name called from the professor's lips. "Oh no, he's coming," she whispered to her friend, and then to her horror, discovered her friend had disappeared.

"Nicole!" Lily hissed, glaring at her comrade who had suddenly abandoned her and was sitting on the opposite side of the classroom, waving apologetically. "You bitch! Don't leave me with him! When I get a hold of you I'm gonna fuc-professor!" She broke off, smiling at Slughorn who petted his moustache. "Good morning!"

"Good morning! How's my favourite Potions student?" The professor asked with bulging eyes.

A couple of seats away, Severus Snape grumbled to himself about Slughorn's favouritism, writing notes furiously into his book of Advanced Potion Making.

"Simply spiffy," Lily gritted through her teeth.

After at least ten minutes of the professor chatting to specific Slug Club members, the class finally settled onto making their sleeping potions assigned by Slughorn.

"Now's your chance to talk to Evans," Sirius murmured to Remus, elbowing him in the side, which nearly caused Remus to topple over.

"You have the most unusual pointy elbows," Remus said, rubbing his hip.

"C'mon, Moony, James is getting deprived by the second." Sirius tilted his head to James who was adding his ingredients to his cauldron, looking highly low-spirited; not only by what happened to Whiskers and Lily, but by the fact that his stool was stuck to his arse.

"Did you have to do that prank now, Padfoot?" Remus sighed. "It wasn't one of the most appropriate times."

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "Jokes normally cheer people up. Not Prongs, though."

Remus looked at him with indignation. "How on earth does sticking a stool to someone's arse cheer them up?"

Sirius tried to make a guilty face but eventually erupted into giggles, of course making Remus roll his eyes and return back to his potion.

"C'mon, Moony. All you have to is convince Lily to go out with James. We'll take it in turns," Sirius compromised.

Remus gave him a ridiculous look. "Padfoot, if you haven't noticed already, this is a Potions lesson. And I am busy trying to make a po-"

But Sirius had already grabbed him by his collar and pushed him into the aisle between the desks where everyone stared at him. Nobody normally ventured out to aisle between the desks because it was Forbidden Land and you had an army of eyes on you. Those people who ventured only went to make necessary trips to the potions cupboard, which Remus quickly did and grabbed a few random ingredients to make it look like he was busy.

Casually he made his way back from the cupboard and stopped at Lily's desk, making a clear cough to show he was there as her head was busy down and mesmerized in her Potions book.

"Remus," she greeted him. Said boy smiled with caution. "Or is that really you, Remus?" He inwardly groaned. "Or are you really James? Or even Madam Pomfrey? I don't know what to believe anymore." She slammed her cutting knife into her board, making Remus flinch and take a step back.

"So, you haven't forgiven James for that, then?" he asked dreadfully.

"Oh, I'm dealing with it," she gritted through her teeth, making another harsh cut with her knife. "I don't know why you aren't mad, Remus. He lied and said he was you; you should be a little annoyed. And after what he did to me yesterday...just jumping on me like that and...k-ki...y'know." She broke off, reddening a noticeable tint.

"He was just being stupid."

"Was he born that way or did he just inherit it off Sirius?"

Remus winced at the harsh remark, but couldn't help but say: "A bit of both actually."

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Hey guys! I had to cut this chapter into half and it was really ackward where to cut.... :/ I promise i'll upload the second part soon!

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