I read all your messages and comments. First of all, I am fine, I guess. You guys asked me if I would continue the story or not so here is what I feel right now. I am being completely honest with you and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I just hope you guys try and understand me. I wrote my exams with so much difficulty because I wasn't able to study. during the 3hrs of the exam also I thought so much about him. I just hope I pass this semester.

This story was very very dear to me but due to whatever happened I left it where it was. All this time when I was away, it was for two reasons. one, I was too shocked and sad and depressed and two, my exams. 

This story was not just fanfiction for me. I loved this story. At many times I wrote Sana's character and life similar to mine. I too don't have anyone to share my feelings with, like the feeling you are not comfortable telling your parents about, those ones. Sidharth's character was just like the person I want in my life, who can break the walls I had built around me. But now when I imagine him, I don't feel relaxed. This is for now because like everyone, my wounds are also still fresh. 

Many of the writers have continued their stories and I also wanted to but no matter how much I try, I end up feeling sad. I was not active on Instagram since then and yesterday when I logged into my account thinking I have healed, I was proven wrong. seeing his pictures and Sana's sad pictures of the interview made me sadder. personally, I am a very emotional person, crying-for-fictional-characters kinda emotional. I talked to a psychologist friend of mine and he said what I was missing. he said that I haven't still accepted the fact that he is no more. And it is true. It sometimes feels as it is all a big bad joke and it will be over soon. Anyways, he advised e to not continue until I am 100% sure I am over the fact that he is no more.

Writing is not easy. When you write about a character, you tend to feel his /her feelings to make it real. I was not able to do that for now. But I know I can't end this story this way. So I have decided t give an epilogue, a long update. It will have everything I wanted to write in the sequel of this story in short. I will try writing it as soon as possible. Till then keep loving me, keep him and his family in prayer. I love you guys so much. I promise whenever I would feel good, I would keep giving bonus updates ven after the epilogue.

Also, I wanted to tell you guys that I have quit writing fan fiction. I am never going to write about any real-time character. I have changed my forte. I was working on mafia fiction before. I have decided to resume that. As soon as I will be satisfied with the chapters I am editing right now, I'll post them here. I hope you guys will give that too equal love. 

We are family guys. I might have stopped writing but I am still a sidnaaz fan. I still pray for them. I am still here if you wanna talk or anything. I love you guys so much.

stay safe

stay in touch

keep praying

-Ishika