Shehnaaz

Standing under the cold shower I can still feel my body to be burning hot. The moments we just shared a few minutes ago were like heaven. I haven't felt anything like this ever before. I have had boyfriends and yes I have kissed before but never have I felt something like this before. I smiled touching the bruise on my lip. Can I say it a love bite? love I sighed. Do I love him? Yes, I have started to feel things, different things but I am not sure if it's love. How do you actually realize that you are in love? Don't have any idea. Sighing I got out of the shower and got dressed to go down.

How will I face maa?

What if she gets to know that I have lied to her and made her son also lie to her?

So many what if's...What am I gonna do with this overthinking brain of mine?

Sighing I got dressed and went down to find both of them sitting on the dining table, talking.

"Good morning," I wished smiling and sitting on the chair beside maa.

"Good morning bacha," maa said caressing my hair and pecking my forehead. I smiled in contentment. Kitna accha hoga na if this becomes constant.

Yeah for that have some guts to say the truth, my conscience mocked me.

"Breakfast?" Maa asked breaking my trance. I nodded. She served me and I felt like attacking the food. One, that it smells great and two, I am so damn hungry. All this thinking is using all my energy.

"Accha sana, tu to sidharth ki itni acchi dost hai. To maine ek ladki dekhi hai sidharth ke lie, ajj soch rahi hoon mil bhi loon. Vo kya hai na maine abhi tak sirf photo dekhi hai. Vaise hai meri dost ki beti. Main last jab mili thi toh kafi choti thi. Khair, mein yeh kehe rahi thi ki tu bhi ek baar dekh le. Dekhke bata ki tere dost ke lie kaisi rahegi. Theek hai. Breakfast ke bad dikhati hoon." Maa said smiling towards me. But I felt as if the ground slipped under my feet. I was shocked and choked on my food. I started to cough vigorously making them both worried. Sidharth made me drink some water and I calm down after few minutes.

"Theek hai?" Maa asked concerned to which I nodded. Her words are still ringing in my ears. I looked at Sidharth but he didn't look at me. Yeh mujhse nazre kyun chura raha hai.

"Umm...Maa, Sidharth ke lie ladki kyun, I mean ki he is already seeing someone. He told you yesterday, remember?" I asked worriedly.

"Han but haven't he told you yet?" She asked to which I raised my eyebrows at him.

"He broke up with his girlfriend. So now he is single and I want him to mingle, I mean to get married." She giggled at her own joke but here I was shocked, upset, and angry. I glared at him but he didn't look at me once.

What the hell is going on here?

Why didn't he tell me that his mom is searching for potential brides for him?

Did he not know or was he hiding this from me intentionally?

Is this the reason he was so calm sometime back?

Is this the reason he didn't get angry with me?

I felt my eyes filled up but quickly blinked my eyes to hide the tears. I smiled weakly at maa and continue to eat.

After breakfast, three of us sat on the couch in the living room.

"Dekh yeh hai vo ladki. Her name is Sarika. MBA graduate hai, abhi apne dad ki company mein job kar rahi hai." Maa showed me the picture. Okay, this bitch is beautiful. Qualified hai aur Sidharth ki age ki bhi hai. Iske dad ki company seems to be a well off family aur meri family, khair choro.

I looked at him and he was looking, no gawking at the picture. How dare he? Maine katal kar dena hai iska ajj. Yeh kya sari batein bhool gaya jo pehele boli thi isne, are pehele choro abhi bhi subha bada bol raha tha, I want you forever.

"So what do you think, haan? Sidharth bata na beta." Maa asked.

"Nice, I mean she looks good." He said making me gasp. Ruk, tujhe to mein badme batati hoon abhi iska kaam nipatana hai.

"Nahi na maa. Yeh itni bhi acchi nahi hai. Isse bhi to sundar ladkiya hai na." I said hoping she would drop the topic of him getting married now.

"Haan but yeh qualified bhi hai. Accha job bhi hai." I groaned at her. Drop kardo na ye topic maa.

"MBA hi to kiya hai maa. Vo to koi bhi kar sakta hai. Kuch extra ordinary nahi hai. Sidharth ke lie koi special honi chahiye." Drop the topic! Drop the topic!

"Haan bat to theek hai. Chorh ise." She is an angel. I love you.

"Yeh dekh. Her name is Mithali. She is a social worker. She is working in this field for about four years now." She showed me another picture. I am going to go and jump from the terrace.

"Haan yeh bhi sundar hai." Sidharth pitched in. He is so dead.

"Mithali, kaisa purane zamane jaisa naam hai. Sidharth weds Mithali, naah it's doesn't sound good. And social worker, are you sure she is honest and loyal. I mean what if she is among those who pretend to be good on the face but actually are corrupt and frauds." I can swear I haven't been this mean ever in my life. I am so sorry Mithali, but I can't lose him, at least not like this.

I looked at both of them and well, they are looking at me as If I was an alien. Okay, I accept that what I said was mean but dude, he is my man.

"Okay, well I have more proposals. I have been looking for girls all the time last month, hoping he would get married to one of them." She said making me almost cry and plead to her to stop this torture on me.

"Her name is Tiya. She is a pilot at Kingfisher airlines. So, how about her?" Maa showed me yet another picture. Ab iske bare mein kya bolu.

"Man, she is hot." I heard Sidharth whisper from beside. I gasped and looked at him with narrow eyes. He is really inviting his death.

"Piolet, maa..."

"Ab isme kya kami hai sana. Har ladki mein kamiya nikal rahi hai tu." Maa said a little annoyed cutting me in between. I pouted at her. Aur kya karu app mere lie sautan dhoondh rahi ho.

Sautan, really! Shadi ka naam sunte hi to there paseene chootne lagte hai. And secondly, first, have some guts to accept your feelings for him. my conscience mocked me.

"I want best for him, that's why. Now see, she is piolet, that means she will be out maximum time. What if they fall apart in some time. I mean she will meet newer people almost daily and what if she cheats on him." I said and this earned me a gasp from both of them.

Okay, I am ridiculous and pathetic. I judged her character without knowing her and that too on the basis of her career.

"Sorry..." I mumbled and looked down.

"It's okay, but now I will show you the picture of the girl I liked the most. And I am sure you'll also like this one." She showed me the picture but I didn't look at it this time. I don't want to say more mean things. I just kept looking down.

"This is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." I heard Sidharth saying this and this time I couldn't hold myself from getting angry. I am angry with him but also I am feeling so bad. I have said so bad things about the girls who are way too better an option than me for him.

"Dekh na Shehnaaz. I really like this one." He said nudging me making my blood boil.

"Ohh, really then marry her and become a husband to ugh...what...yeah an ugly duckling. Tu yehi deserve karta hai, jiski...jiski naak tedi ho aur...aur deemag peanut se bhi chota." I snapped at him and ran towards my room leaving them both shocked. I couldn't help but cry. Tears finally made their way out. I enter my room and closed the door with this and slid down on the floor crying.

I am crying sitting on the floor of the guest room. My all fears were right. Neither I am beautiful, nor qualified. My family is just a sorry excuse of a family. And on the contrary Sidharth, he is handsome, well qualified and not only that, so successful and famous. What was I even thinking when I said to him, yes to be his girlfriend. I am not even average for him.

Maa knocked and entered the room. I quickly wiped my tears and got up from the floor. Kya impression diya hai maine. First I said all mean things for the girls she liked and then yelled at her son.

"Vo tune abhi neeche bola na ki ladki ki naak tedhi hai to Sidharth thora tension mein aa gaya. Ek baar aur dekhkele acche se kyun ki use to yeh ladki bohot pasand hai. And when you said that about her nose and brain, he is upset. He really wants your approval." Maa said making me look at her surprised. She forwarded the photo to me and I took it reluctantly from her. My eyes again welled up with unshed tears. Why it's every time me only?

I looked at the picture and then at her in shock. Did she really...?

"Maa, yeh to..." I trailed off confused.

"Yeh toh teri photo hai. Yehi kehena chahti hai." She said and I nodded vigorously in yes.

"Tujhe kya laga, mujhe pata nahi chalega ki mere bacche mujhe jhoot bol rahe hai. Main to kal hi samajh gayi thi but dekhna chahti thi ki tumme se koi bolta hai ki nahi. But..." She sighed making me feel more guilty.

"I am sorry. I really am. Meri wajah se sidharth ne jhoot bola." I apologized sobbing. I am not crying in guilt, okay maybe partially I am but more than that I am relieved. I thought I lost Sidharth.

"Are baba roh kyun rahi hai. Hum to bas tere mazak kar rahe the tere sath. Zada hogaya na, sorry." Maa hugged me.

"Nahi, vo meko laga ki...Ki app sachme uski sha...Shadi karva dengi aur main use..." I sobbed more saying this.

"Aise kaise karva deti. Pagal hai mera beta there lie. Vaise I cant believe that you called yourself ugly duckling and peanut size brain." she said and laughed loudly. I looked down in embarrassment. 

Honestly, I didn't know I will become so much attached to him and this experience gave me a glimpse of my condition if he ever leaves me.

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From here bonding between Sana and Rita maa will start.

Vote and comment for the next update.

Have you ever experienced, that you like someone but there are other girls/boys standing in front of you as a better potential partner for the one you like? If so, do share your experience. Because I believe everybody does stupid things in such conditions. It will be nice to hear something funny.

Also, till then answer Sana's question, how do we know that we are in love?

The target for the next update
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