Sidharth 

"See Sidharth telling about patients is against the rules no matter who you are to the patients. I cannot tell you the reasons for her conditions. and more than rules Sidharth, she is really dear to me. I am treating her for the past two and a half years and I know her very well to tell you that if she hadn't told you anything then you are very dear to her. she is scared of sharing things. Usko dar hai ki agra kisi ko uske past ke bare mein pata chala to vo log use hi galat samjhenge and they'll accuse her and leave her. You are close to her and she is scared of losing you a lot. uske apna time lene do, it's a part of her treatment. usne mujhe bhi sabkuch peheli baar mein hi nahi bata diya tha. it took me seven months to gain her trust that I will not judge her and will not leave her. vo kafi attached ho gayi thi mujhse us time. I hope you are getting what I am trying to say." the doctor said.

"I understand Dr. and she has already told me about her past, not completely but yes a major part of it. I know she is hiding the main reason for her misery from me and it's totally fine. I will wait for her to tell me everything. I just want you to tell me how you met her and all that happened that you are saying she barely survived. Did she try to harm herself?" I asked her hoping she would understand and tell me everything. she looked at me for some seconds and then nodded.

"Alright then," she sighed. "when I first met her, she was lying unconscious in a park. I brought her here with me ad did some tests. she didn't have any phone or id to be recognized. she was unconscious for one and a half-day. by the test I came to knew her hormonal levels were very high and also her brain conditions. pulses were irregular. I somehow had this feeling that she was in depression. she gained her consciousness and was hysterical. she just wanted to go from here. she was not ready to talk at all. she just ran away. after that, I used to see her in the same park every day at the same time. ek bench par kone mein baithke padhti reheti thi. I tried to talk to her but she used to look away as soon as I look at her. she was always used to be scared. this went on for around two to three weeks. then one day she wasn't reading. she was busy doing something with her hand. I didn't understand what she was doing so I went behind her and was shocked. she was writing something on her hand with a compass. her hand was bleeding. I rushed towards her dragged her with me taking the compass away. she passed away in between. after that, I pressured her a little to tell me things. I assured her I am not going to say anything to anyone and also not judge her. that one month was the most difficult. getting her to talk was the most. she never attended any sessions. she changed her timings of coming to the park to avoid me. but every time I met her in that one month, she had a new scar. Kabhi pair mein lagi hoti thi hagi sir par. pehele mujhe laga ki that someones torturing her but I was wrong. all those marks, she gave them to herself. she was finding relief in physical pain. bohot patients aisa karte hai, to avoid mental pain and heartache, they inflict physical pain to themselves. she did the same. but what happened next shook me." she said but now my already aching heart ached more. I was scared for her.

"she was missing for next whole week. ayi hi nahi vo park. but one day in Sarojini Nagar market, I was with my husband and a girl came in front of a truck suddenly. it was her. kissi ne ek dum se use peeche kheech lia varna... and that was not because she was dazed or something. she actually..."

"tried to suicide," I whispered. I was never more scared this much ever before in my life. Aisa kya hua ki vo marna chahti thi. my eyes were filled with tears and my heart ached for her.

"yeah" she sighed. "after that, I took her with me isse pehel police case bane as suicide is illegal, you know." I nodded. "yeah, uske bad se I was a little strict with her. mujhe use force karna pada thora sessions ke lie. par dheere dhreere use achha laga shyd and she continued her sessions." she said smiling a little.

"thank you so much dr. apne bina use jane itna kuch kiya uske lie. thank you so so much." I thanked her. I am somewhere surprised that she did all of this without knowing her. our world needs more doctors and more people like her.

"no need to thank me Sidharth. I didn't do anything great. I don't know what and why but I felt a connection with her. you know when she regularly came for sessions, usne mujhe sirf itna share kiya tha ki she is not on good terms with her family. do teen sessions ke bad shyd she asked me ki meri fees kitni hogi. I said ki I don't wanna take any fee from her but she was so stubborn that she will not take any sessions in free. I told her that my fee is 500 per session. she was not on good terms with her family and in India consulting a physiatrist is not considered good. so she took a job of a waitress in a cafe at noon time after her college got over. and the owner of that cafe was some old couple but they didn't need any waitress so she requested them to just give her 100 rupees per day aur jab bhi vo na aye vo uske paise kat le. aise vo har hafte jitne bhi din ja pati thi cafe kam karne jati thi roz ke sau ruppee leti thi aur session ke bad mujhe de deti thi. kabhi 200 kabhi 300 kabhi poore 500 aur kabhi jab poore hafte jati thi to poore 700. apne lie kuch nahi rakhti thi. but this job thing turned out to be positive for her. she got attached to that elderly couple aur vo log bhi use apni poti ki tarah hi rakhte hai. unhe bhi sab kuch pata hai uske bare mein. she told me ek baar vo bohot emotional thi to unhone poocha aur itne pyaar se poocha ki vo khud ko rok nahi payi. she is still a baby at heart Sidharth. use sirf pyaar chahiye. she just craved for that. give her all your love. she'll give you double. I guarantee you this." she said with a small smile on her face. listening to this I also smiled. my baby is so pure at heart. I promise you meri jaan, abse tujhe kabhi bhi koi bhi dukh nahi jhelna padega.

he was thinking when Sana entered the room. she found Sidharth lost in his thoughts so she gently put her hand on her shoulder bringing him back to earth.

"kahan khoa hua hai tu." she asked me when I looked at her.

"kahi nahi baby. ho gaye sare test?" I asked her to which she nodded.

"hanji to miss sana, app kuch kehena chahti hai." dr. Shikha said to her. she looked down and pouted her lips. she was looking so adorable that I wanted to eat her up.

"sorry" she mumbled in low voice.

"kiske lie?" dr. shikha asked her sternly.

"meri carelessness ke lie. I know I was reckless towards my health but apko to pata hai na mera dimag kam nahi karta jab mai sad hoti hoon to." she muttered so cutely that I wanted to pull her cheeks right there. she became a totally new person in front of dr. Shikha. she was a baby in front of her. dr. Shikha sighed as if she knew she can't win from her.

"see shenaaz, this is the last time I am leaving you with your reckless behavior. much because ki is baar you will not be alone. Sidharth aur Anushka will be with you but this carelessness will not be tolerated in future." dr. Shikha said sternly making Sana nod immediately as if she was scared of her like a kitten. I chuckled inwardly at this sharni. meanwhile, nurse also came with the reports. dr. Shikha being a senior dr. here have privileges and as Sana is her dear so we got the reports immediately. she went through the reports very keenly and looking at her expressions I can say that it's no good news.

"Okay so hormonal level bada hua hai. body mein drug abhi bhi kafi hai. agar aisa hi chalta raha toh internal organs ko affect hone lagega. we have to tone down the dose and the power of medicine both. but you have to take care Sana, these will not give you instant relief joki pehele vali deti thi. so no stress and no overthinking. khush rehene ki koshish karo aur please don't stay alone. okay?" dr. Shikha said. I grimaced at the fact that she still has to take the medicines. but somehow I took a sigh of relief that now she will not stay alone and agar ye zid bhi karegi to mere pass reason hoga iski bat na manne ka. ab bas isse manan hoga mere sath rehene ka. I came out of my thoughts hearing dr. Shikha something.

"Ek pill to daily tum le hi rahi ho, so isse bhi lena hai. try karo ek se zada lene ki zaroorat na pade aur agar pade bhi to do max. overdose mat karna please. one can't always be lucky to survive a drug overdose. am I clear sana?" she asked her to which sana nodded. I also made a mental note that I will try my best ki use ek pill se zada ana leni pade aur agar pade bhi to main hu vahan. I really don't want her to take these pills.

"medicins kam karne see zada kuch nahi hoga. I still suggest you come for support group sessions. it'll help you." dr. Shikha said. I have some idea about these support groups but I exactly don't know what are these.

"no, no support groups. this is not happening." Sana immediately refused these. but why? 

"what support groups?" I asked them.

"well, Sidharth this is a group where my patients sit together and tell their problems and share things and try to help each other. More importantly, it gives the feeling that you are not alone in suffering. it gives strength and helps to heal. but she always refuses." dr. Shikha told me.

"you should go for this shehnaaz. it sounds great and helpful." I tried to make her understand but looking at her expressions I can say that she wasn't going to listen.

"bola na ek bar nahi jana matlab nahi jana." she said irritated.

"Okay okay but you have to promise ki mujhse aur sidharth se kuch bhi nahi chupaogi age se. we will become your support group agar aisa karti ho to I will not ask you once again to join the group." dr. Shikha offered her.

"fine" Sana huffed leaning back in the chair.

"okay so baki to sab pehel jaise hi hai. improvement to hai nahi but the graph got down which is not good at all. anyways just remember, no stress, be happy and share everything and no staying alone. okay?" dr. Shikha asked her once again to which she nodded. after that, we took her to leave. Sana was walking ahead of me when dr. Shikha called me and signaled me to come along.

"baby tu chal mai ata hu abhi." I said to sana. she nodded and went ahead. I turned back to dr. shikha's cabin.

"yeh dr.?" I asked her.

"see Sidharth I didn't say anything in front of her but her condition is not so good. you really need to be with her and take care that she shares everything in her heart. khush rehna bohot imporatant hai but agar bate andar daba ke rahekgi to theek nahi hoga. she can go back to the phase of harming herself or back to the suicidal phase. tum samajh rahe ho na?" she said concerned. I just nodded. words were failing to come out of my mouth. I just can't stand the fact of her being hurt and suicide to bilkul nahi.

"take care Sidharth," she said walking away. I also went to the parking after few minutes digesting the news she gave me. I have to be careful.

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okay, a full-length chapter. isme her past is told a little. tell me how you guys like it?

ek to na app log bohot kam comments aur votes karte ho so I have decided to give a target now. agar vo achieve karoge to next update dungi.

last chapter mein 80 votes the aur 13 comments the.

next update jtab milega jab 150 votes aur 25 comments honge. I don't think this is much to ask for. chotu sa target hai poora kardo plz.

stay safe and healthy