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~16~ " How i truly feel.."

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"Argh!"

I clenched my chest tight, squeezing my eyes. My chest suddenly feels hurt again, although it's already went better back then. It was over midnight and my chest starting to tighten. I don't even have time to go to the bathroom and ended up throwing up inside my room.

I coughed non stop as bloods are dripping to the floor. More petals are falling down along with the blood. F*ck..it hurts.. I tried to catch my breath.

Suddenly i can hear footsteps came from outside and my brother's voice calling me.

"Seungmin?? Are you alright? I heard a coughing voice" Wonpil asked as he open the door. His eyes are widen in shock when he saw the blood and petals on the floor. Not to mention , i still coughing out the flower petals as i felt it chocking my lungs.

"Oh my God.." He lost his words as he stares at the petals, shaking his head in disbelievement "Kim Seungmin, you're coming to the hospital with me" Wonpil grabs one of my wrist and tries to pull me up, but i refuses him.

"No- i'm okay" i coughed off the remaining blood and wipes my mouth with a piece of tissue "i'm sorry, i'll clean this.."

"NO you're NOT ! How did you suppose to be okay, idiot! You became like this because of that idiot guy! Why can't you just let him go?!" Wonpil yells at me. He almost never raised his voice like this infront of me, but i can tell how mad he is right now.

"This is..nothing.. I'm not that weak to lose with this stupid disease" i grabbed on my bedsheet and gets up on my feet, then i walked out of the room, but Wonpil holds my wrist and stopped me.

"It's stupid but it can take your life! YOU MIGHT DIE, SEUNGMIN!"

I only smiles at him.

"You know that he won't return your love, why did you tortured yourself like this??!!" Wonpil raises his voice again.

I sighed, but smiling at him after "he might never return my love.. But the feelings i have for him is real and sincere. Even i have to die, i would be happy to die while loving him"

"That was..STUPID!!"

Wonpil angrily slaps me until i almost fell down to the ground. I hissed in pain while holding my cheek, it was hurt. Wonpil never hurt or hit me before, this is the first time. And it hurts so badly.

"I CARE ABOUT YOU , I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE MY ONLY BROTHER AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE JUST FOR HIM?!!! CAN'T YOU JUST THINK STRAIGHT FOR ONCE?!! I DISSAPOINTED IN YOU!"

He snapped at me as he pushed me to the side and leave me alone. I was just staring at his back as he dissapears, i lost all the words, and i can only feel pain right now. The pain from outside and inside.

How much longer should i endure this? Why can't i just unlove him?

I fall on my knees, tears are dripping along my face. I cried as I covering my face with my palms.

It hurts.. One sided love is hurt.

We used to be together, but now we're like a strangers.
You used to say that you loved me, but now you seem to hate me.

"I love you.. Hwang Hyunjin.." I hissed between my tears, and i began to coughed out the petals again.

I never thought that we will have an ending like this.

***

I walked to school like usual. But today, i have a hard time to breath normally, when i breaths, my lungs feel hurt. But i just do my best to endure the pain, no one seem to notice as well. Especially Hyunjin.

We don't talk anymore..like we used to do.

"Seungminie!"

Bangchan suddenly taps my shoulder, walking beside me while examining my face "seungminie, you look pale! Are you okay??" He worriedly asks.

"I'm okay hyung.. Just lack of sleep.." I weakly smiles.

"Did you throw up flowers again?"

I turned my face at him and gives him a little smile "don't worry about me" i said.

"Seungmin..please" Bangchan goes infront of me and holds both my hands. He looked at me with a sad look.

"You always said you're okay but you were not.. Please..rely on me, Seungmin.. "

"Hyung.. I.. "

"E-hem, i'm sorry, you both are in the way"

Both of us turned around when a familiar voice came from my back. My eyes widen when i saw Hyunjin was standing behind me. His eyes looked annoyed and he glares at me.

"If both of you want to flirt that badly, go find a room or something, but don't get in the way as if you owned this street" he says coldly then he continues his walk after he bumped into my shoulders.

Bangchan who saw that, immediately let go of my hands and he grabbed Hyunjin's arm.

"Stop there, you damn kid.." He hissed.

Hyunjin turned around and pushes Bangchan's hand away, he looks at Bangchan with an unpleasant look.

"What do you want?" Hyunjin asked.

"You bumped into him! Apologize!" Bangchan says as he points at me. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, crossing his arms on his chest.

"Why should i apologize? Both of you who supposed to apologize to me coz you get in my way" Hyunjin cockyly says, which boils up Bangchan's anger.

"What did you say?!" Bangchan was about to lands a punch on Hyunjin when Hyunjin holds his wrist, stopping him from doing so.

"How did you supposed to protect your boyfriend with such a weak punch? Loser .." Hyunjin chuckling as he throw Bangchan's hand harshly, then he looked at me with a cold face.

"You said you won't let him flirt with you, such a liar.. I regreted that i ever be friend with you" his words are stabbing me hard. Then he coldly turns around and continue his walk, leaving me dumbfounded.

"Bastard!" Bangchan yells at him. I looked down , facing the ground as i'm trying my best not to cry. My chest starts to feel painful again.

"Seungminie, don't listen to him..okay? He's just looking for troubles, don't let him get you.." Bangchan comforts me by rubbing his palm on my back. I nodded a bit, sniffing. Although i knew that he really meant it.

"He's just a dumb, he can't tell the difference between 'care' and 'flirt' . Why would you love someone like him.. Seungmin.. I still don't understand" Bangchan sighs.

Even i don't get it as well. Why did i love someone like him, who always hurt me..who always gave me false hope.. it makes me questioning myself again and again, but i never found the answer to those questions.

"Seungmin, if you're not feeling well..you can rest in the infimary, i'll take you there, or you want to go home?"

I shake my head "no, hyung.. I'm okay. Come on, i'll be late for my class" i smiles at the older guy. Bangchan nodded his head and circles his arm around my shoulder , then we continue our walk to go to school.

***

"Seungminie~ let's go to the canteen"

Bangchan suddenly appears infront of my class, smiles widely while waving at me. I gives him a little smile, not saying anything and bring myself outside to meet him.

"Hyung.. Seriously, you don't need to do this.. You can go with your friends"

Bangchan shakes his head and wraps his arm around me "nah- i want to eat with you, i'm happier to eat with you anyway" he chuckles.

"Thank you, hyung.." I chuckled at him.

"Oh- so you're his new boyfriend, hyung?"

A voice suddenly came from my back, it was Felix who was standing there with a little smirk, crossing his arms on his chest as he examines us.

"After Hyunjin, now is Chan hyung? You're so greedy, Kim Seungmin. You fooled every good-looking guy with your cute look, what a bitch"

He says with a mocking tone. Bangchan quickly pushes me behind him and glares af Felix.

"Lixie.. What did you say?"

Felix chuckles "i'm just telling him the truth"

"Take back your words now, before i punch you, Lee felix " Bangchan tighten his fist, trying to hold himself back.

"Oh?" Felix puts his hand on Bangchan's shoulder, moves a bit closer to his face.

"You're going to punch me only because of this bitch? You're really changed, Bang chan hyung" Felix says.

"I shouldn't have tell you his name back then.. Now you're completely became a slave of his cuteness. He doesn't even love you, i suggest you to stay away from him, hyung.. Before he drags you too far" Felix lowly says , then he glances a me. I can say that i'm feeling uncomfortable with the way he looked at me thats why i quickly looked away.

"Don't forget our practice today, hyung. I'm going to eat with Hyunjin" Felix says and emphasizing Hyunjin's name, then he smirks at me before he finally left.

Bangchan breaths harshly, he must be trying to hold his anger back. But then he comes to me, pulling me into a hug but i put my arms between us before he got to do so.

"Hyung..i.." I looked at him "please don't be kind to me anymore.. "

I don't want to be a burden for anyone..

"If you kept being kind to me.. People will look at you in a bad way.. Please don't fall in love with me, hyung.. I don't deserve it.. I'm dying soon anyway.."

You deserve someone better than me.

Bangchan cupped my cheeks, our eyes are meeting each others "don't pay attention on what people's say.. I love you genuinely , and i want to protect you. It's okay even you don't love me back.. Just, please let me stay by your side as a friend.. "

"But- your friends.."

"It's my bussiness, Seungminie.. I will clear it up with them, but now..you're my friend too, so please let me take care of you"

Bangchan playfully ruffles my hair, and his smile is coming back. Then he lifts his pinky finger "would you be my friend, minnie?"

I smiles at him, nodding while entertwines my pinky finger on his "yes hyung "

"But- please don't call me with that nickname.. It always remind me of-" i sadly smiles.

"I got it ~ " Bangchan chuckles "then..how about i call you, puppy?"

My eyes widening a bit "w-what..?? Why puppy? I'm a human?" I blinked.

"But you are cute and you looked like a puppy, can i call you that??" Bangchan's eyes sparkling as he looked at me.

I sighed but then i nodded at him. I guess it was okay to let him calling me that.. At least it won't remind me of Hyunjin.

Bangchan smiles widely and his dimples appeared on his cheeks. He circles his arm around me and leads us to the canteen.

***

- third person's POV -

Hyunjin was about to go home because he has no practice today. He walked to his locker, sighing deeply as he notices no one was walking on his side. Anymore..

For all these years we're together, i don't know that it feels hurt to be apart from you..
I stupidly felt jealous seeing you with another man
I stupidly felt angry when i saw you walked with other person.
But now i'm feeling lonely.
Ever since you came into my life, my days were never be this empty.
What was this feeling?
Am i really falling for you?
Ever since you told me you like me, i'm confused.
My brain was telling me it's wrong but my heart didn't.

I.. don't care anymore if you are a girl or a boy..

But, I miss you so badly... Kim Seungmin..

Hyunjin almost teared up as his heart was feeling guilty.

I shouldn't have said that..

He sighed as he approaches his locker to take his shoes when he found a letter inside his locker. He takes it out, examining the letter before opening it. There's nothing written on the envelope, there's no name either.

Then he decided to look what's inside the letter. His eyes widen a bit when he saw what's written inside.

"Hwang Hyunjin, meet me in Basketball court after school. "





To be continued.



I think this story will ended soon xD or not..

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