04/06/19

TUESDAY

PRESENT

I hear a knock on my door, distracting my thoughts. I quickly wipe away the tears and slowly raise my head to look up. I switch on the light and take a moment to adjust to the light in my room. The door half opens and Alex peeks his head in. I hope he is here with some good news. "Come in," I say quietly.

He walks in soon and stands near the bed. "Are you okay?" He asks.

I just nod. I can't be okay until I apologize to Ryan. I'm carrying a stone in my heart, since that day. "Ryan is shifted to a room, and he wants to see you," Alex informs.

I sit straight and a small smile forms on my face. "How's he?"

"Much better," Alex smiles at me. Thank god! I wanna see him right now!

**********

I slowly open the door of Ryan's hospital room and walks in. He's leaning on the headrest, his forehead bandaged and hand plastered. I stop in tracks. It was my fault! A drop of tear falls down my cheek. It's my fault! "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm sorry for everything." I walk next to his bed and sit on a stool. I take his hand in mine and squeezes. "Are are you okay?"

He slowly nods, "I'm fine, Jana."

"I... I'm really sorry," I apologize again.

He sighs, "It isn't your fault."

I shake my head. It is just my fault. I don't think my apologizing will be enough for what I have done. Everything happened just because of me...

Ryan rubs my palm smoothly. "It was an accident. Just don't blame yourself," he tries to convince me.

I stay quiet, looking down at my lap. I'm the only one to blame for. "I kissed Noah on the night of the accident and I'm very sorry for that. I shouldn't have done-"

"You love him."

I immediately look up at Ryan. I can't read his face. How could I cheat on him? I feel like I betrayed him. He leaves my hand. He hates me... I can't accept the fact that I made him hate me. I gulp a lump formed in my throat and I slowly swallow. Are we done?

He slowly places his hand on my cheek and strokes my chin softly. "I still love you, but not as much as he does."

"Please don't say that we are breaking up," I plead. I can't take it anymore...

"We already broke up," he says. On the night at the amusement park... Was that really our breakup? I part my lips to say something but there isn't anything I could say. After all, I deserve it for cheating on him.

"You love him," he says that once again.

"Ryan, please," I plead. I don't want to hear that. This is what I have got for loving Noah.

"Jana, it's okay to admit your feelings," Ryan pauses. "You love him, right?"

There is no point in hiding. I slowly nod, "I do." That barely comes out as a whisper.

"You loved him from the beginning but you didn't realize it because you were already my girlfriend by then," he stops. I did love Noah from the beginning... "You want him to be with you always even as a friend because you love him and you never had a reason to break up with me."

Why is he making me feel more guilty? I agree I was wrong and I did big mistakes I can't take back. "Ryan, I'm sorry. But I still love you." Do I? Do I have to make a mistake again?

"What you feeling now is guilty not love." Yeah... I sit still. I don't have any option other than hearing him. Anyway, he's right. I wish if I could undo my mistakes... "I know you love me, but it isn't me who you should love." It's Noah... "There is love even when you look at Noah. I have seen it."

I love Noah, but I made him hate me too... I hurt him... God, I wish that night was just a bad dream. "Were you angry at me on the night at the hotel because..." I stop myself from asking. How could I even ask?

"When I watched you dance, I knew you were making a mistake by loving me. I knew you love him a long back but I didn't want to accept that," Ryan shrugs.

"Were you trying to make me hate you?" If he did, he failed... I can never hate him.

"No," he shakes his head. "I really got angry seeing you with him and I said whatever was on my mind. But my anger died down soon. Then I wanted you to realize you love him because you two were supposed to be together. I tried to make you say you love him, but you were so adamant. Deep down in my heart, I knew you will say it."

"Is that why you kissed and left me?"

"I never wanted to fight with you or hurt you but I had to make you realize that the one who comes to you is Noah, just because he loves you even if he thinks you will come back to me eventually."

"You shouldn't have-" "I should have done that a long ago," Ryan turns away from me. I know he's trying to control his emotion. He really didn't want to do this. Like Jenny, he is hurt... But still, he wants to bring us together. After a minute he turns back to me. "After I left you at the amusement park I felt bad for what I have done. I never wanted you to hate me, after all. I knew you would be hurt about the breakup. So I wanted to apologize and make everything clear to you and let you go. Party was the place I choose to make you two together. But I saw you kiss only after I called out your name. I thought to leave but then you were running to your car and I knew you were feeling guilty. I wanted to explain to you everything at the moment but then this happened."

"I know my apologies won't be enough-" "You don't have to apologize." He wipes the tears from my cheek. I purse my lips, not knowing what to say. "Jana, it's okay to break up. I was just a wrong choice. You found the one." I feel bad for everything I have done. How could he be not angry at me? "I still love you, but I should let you go..." he pulls me to a hug. How can he still love me?

I keep my hands on his back as I rest my head on his shoulder. I feel very sorry for what I have done... Tears flow down and I can't stop. "I love you, too," I whisper into his shoulders.

"But less than you love Noah," he whispers into my ears.

He keeps his hand on my shoulder as we pull apart. He looks into my eyes. "We weren't meant forever."

"Won't you regret letting me leave?" I ask.

"I will regret it if I didn't do this now. It's way too late," he responds with a weak smile. I know behind the smile his heart is breaking.

I nod, "I hope we can be friends."

He nods in agreement. "Now you should go and say to Noah that by the kiss you meant you love him."

***********

It started raining when I come out of the hospital building. I open my umbrella and walk the short distance to get to my car. Thoughts come flooding my mind. The day I was with Noah under the umbrella... He wanted to be with me since then... I never noticed. I soon drive to Noah's house. I wanna tell him soon. I hope he isn't mad at me.

I park my car in his driveway. The other day flashes into my mind, bad memories. I don't want to think about it... I take a deep breath and get off the car. I ring the doorbell and wait. I ring the bell once again after a minute. Where is he? Is he okay? I get back to my car and dial Noah's number. It went straight to voicemail.

Damn! I kick my foot. What will I do? Where will he be? Maybe Serah knows. I dial Serah and she picks up within a ring. "Hey, Serah. Do you know where Noah is?" I yell for her to hear me over the rain.

"Is everything ok?" I can feel worriedness in her voice.

"Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. Noah isn't at home. You have any idea where he will be?" I ask.

"I have seen him in café this morning. Maybe he will be there," she answers.

"Okay, thanks." With that, I hang up.

I drive to memories café. I look out for him in our usual spot. There is no sign of him. Where could he be? I hope he is fine. I want to see him right now... Where will I look for...? Wait! I got it!

I stop the car and take a deep breath. I wanna tell him... It is heavily raining, so I open the umbrella before I get off the car. I hugged myself as I walk slowly into 'Our paradise'. The heavy wind made my dress get a bit wet but I didn't care. I walk around and found him sitting under the tree. He's all wet in rain. What is he doing here in the rain?

"Noah!" I exclaim. He slowly looks up at me and stands up. I jog to him and stand closer to him. I raise my umbrella over him and look up at him. His wet hair is ruffled over his forehead and his shirt is stick close to his body. "I'm sorry for hurting you. But I promise I will never let this happen again." He looks at me in confusion. "I loved you always, but I never realized it was more than a friendship." I take a deep breath before I confess. "The kiss last night wasn't for jenny. And by that kiss I meant I love you," I say, looking into his blue eyes. He stares into my eyes as his blue eyes shine in love. I love you, Noah!

NOAH

I sit under the tree, getting wet in the heavy rain. I just have to clear my mind before I meet her again. I always believed rain is a symbol of love from the sky to the earth but not. Rain is the downpour of tears from the sky.

Tears flow down from my eyes, along with the rain. I always believed that Jana is the one for me. Even though a part of me I knew I don't have a chance with her a little part of me believed I do. And that little part doesn't exist anymore.

When she kissed me the other night, for a moment I thought my wish came true as she said but it didn't. I don't why she wanted to do it for Jenny. It made me happy but didn't even last more than a minute. I really wish Jana hasn't kissed me. Because even for a minute I believed she loved me but I was wrong as always. I wish if I could erase the night from my memory.

"Noah!" I hear someone shouting out my name over the rain. I turn my head to see Jana. Why is she here? I slowly stand up and she runs to me. "I'm sorry for hurting you. But I promise I will never let this happen again." I'm not mad at her for the kiss but I just wish she hadn't.

"The kiss last night wasn't for jenny," she pauses. "That kiss I meant I love you." Does she love me? Jana looks into my eyes and as always I felt she's in love with me. I know it's just a feeling that is not going to last.

"I loved you always, but I never realized it was more than a friendship." Why is she saying all this now? She raises her toes and kisses me on the lips before I could react. "And this kiss means I will love you forever!" What? My eyes widen as she said those words. "I love you, Noah." A drop of tear falls down her face. She loves me!

I throw the umbrella from her hand and she started to get wet in the rain. Her eyes shine in love as she deeply stares at me. "I love you, Jana," I whisper. I never actually said it before... I wrap my hand over her waist and pull her closer to me as a hug. "You are the one for me." When I said it this time, I know it's true. She slowly closes her eyes and I kiss her passionately.

We kiss for a minute and then separates, still looking at each other. "There is something we gotta do," I say and grab her arm. I take her to the tree where Jenny carved our names two years ago. Below our names, I found something carved which I have never seen before, '2017 to 2018'. Jenny was here... Our love didn't last...

I nod to Jana and she carved our names, JANA LOVE NOAH. Below that, I carved '2019 to forever'.

She smiles at me with love in her eyes. "I love you," I say again and give a peck on her cheek. She blushes, looking down at her feet. I was in love with her for the last 365 days, from the day we met, from the moment she blushed, and from the second she stared into my eyes. Love since the last 365 days and forever...

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey guys, finally the story comes to an end! I hope you all enjoyed reading 'You are the one for me'. I'm thankful to each one of you for your support throughout the one-year journey. This story wouldn't be possible without y'all. Thanks a lot again. Let me know your views through comments. And finally, please do vote, comment, and share. An epilogue will be uploaded soon.