20/05/19

MONDAY

JANA

I slouch on the couch, my eyes fixed on the T.V screen. I try to focus on the movie that's been playing for the past hour, but my mind is too preoccupied. All I could think was about Ryan, me, and Noah.

"Jana!" I jump up, looking at my mom walking over to me. I sit up straight, looking at her in confusion. Why she is yelling? "Your phone is ringing," she points out to my phone on the table.

"Oh," I murmur. Where was I? I turn down the volume of T.V, but by the time I reach for my phone, it stops ringing.

Mom locks eyes with me. I can tell she's worried about me. "Are you okay?" She asks with worry in her voice. I shake my head. "You wanna talk about it?"

I let out a sigh and shrug, "It's just a little fight with Ryan."

I hear her sigh quietly before pulling me into a mommy soft hug. "Fight happens in every relationship. Just talk. Everything will be alright." I hum into her shoulder. "Don't stress on it too much, yeah? It's a part of life." Mom gives me the mommy advice.

She let go of m and sits right next to me on the couch. I check the call history to see it was Serah who called me. I dial her number and lean back into the couch, waiting for her to answer. "Hey, Jana!"

"Hey, why'd you call?" I ask, leaning on mom's shoulder.

"Jenny wants all of us to spend this night at the amusement park. So..." She trails off, knowing I won't agree to come.

"Serah, you know right. I'm not in a mood to hang out," I admit. "Things aren't still right between me and Ryan."

"I know, but everyone wants you to be there," she convinces. I can practically see her pouting.

"Serah..."

"How long are you planning to sit all moody?" I stay quiet. Well... that's a question I don't have an answer.

"You should go, Jana," Mom whispers to me. "Go have fun."

Ugh... Mom is right. I shouldn't stress too much about him. I should probably go and have fun.

"Fineeeee! I stretch out the e. Mom gives me an encouraging smile.

I hear Serah squeal through the phone. "We will be there in the evening!" With that, she hangs up.

**********

Serah drives us to the amusement park. After fifteen minutes, we finally arrive at the park. I get out of the car and take a look at the amusement park. After sometime of walking, I see Harry waving at us from the distance. I quickly notice Noah, Alex, and Zyan closely behind him. Why are they here? "Isn't this girl's day out?" I ask curiously.

"Nope," Sandy replies while shaking her head. "This is one among Jenny's and Noah's together let's list."

"Then why are we here?" I turn to face Jenny.

"It wouldn't be that fun without you all," Jenny replies with a genuine smile.

"Hey, boys!" Jenny greets as soon as we get together. "Jana, long time no see! How are you?" Harry asks while he holding Juliet's hand.

I weakly smile, "I'm good."

I look at Noah, hoping he will say something, but all he does is just smile. I really thought he would be there for me, especially on the night of the concert... even though I told him I'm okay. I'm just a friend, after all.

"Come, let's go inside!" Lyra exclaims.

"Wait!" Alex's voice forces Lyra to stop moving. "Ryan will be here soon."

My whole mood shifts hearing his name. "Ryan's coming?" I frown at Alex.

"Yeah," he slowly nods. "You guys should talk," he says softly.

I narrow my eyes at Serah, "Was this your plan? To bring us together?" I raise my voice a little, which makes Serah back up. I never cried over someone before...

"Jana, let me-"

"Wait!" Everyone looks at Jenny. "But... Noah said you were with Ryan outside the stadium..." She glances at Noah for a quick second and then turns to me. "You guys didn't... sort things out?" She asks me slowly, creasing her brows in doubt.

I look at Noah. He was there. He always has been there for me. I shouldn't have thought that he will not be. Noah saw me and Ryan together, which is why he left. Jenny and Noah thought we were back together... others knew...

I look back at Jenny, "Ryan was there... but we didn't work things out," I pause in between. I shudder at the slightest thought of him. I can't handle this... not right now. "I'm leaving," I mumble, trying to leave the group in hurry.

"Jana," Noah calls and grabs my arm, yanking me back before I could walk away from them. I slowly turn to face him and he stares into my eyes. "You okay?" He asks. I can see how worried he is about me.

"Yeah... I'm good." I nod in confirmation. "You were there to check on me?"

He nods, "I just couldn't leave you like that."

I glance down at his hand holding mine and he immediately takes it off. "Please don't leave," he pleads. The gentleness in his voice makes me want to stay.

How long could I run away from Ryan? I can't avoid him forever. And I don't want us to fight. I need us back. Maybe we will sort out everything tonight.

I agree to stay and wait for Ryan to come. Once he shows up, he greets everyone. He meets my gaze, smiling weakly. "Hey, Jana," he says, giving me a half wave. I roll my eyes and look away. I don't want to keep fighting with him, but I can't accept what he has said. He hadn't apologized yet!

"Let's go in." Everyone follows Sandy to the entrance. When were inside the park, Ryan jogs next to me. "Are we good?" He asks in a quiet voice, only loud enough for the two of us to hear.

I scoff, "Not since you pulled those nonsense." I refuse to look at him as we walk along with the group.

"It's called truth."

I laugh dryly. Ryan slows down when I stop walking. "I don't want to hear anything from you," I scowl at him. I feel his breath on my face as he maintains eye contact.

"Noah is still in love with you," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Can't you see Jenny and Noah are together?" I reply with another question and look at them walking a few feet away from us. He stares at them for a moment and looks back at me. "What are you trying to prove?"

"I want you to realize your true feelings," Ryan says.

"What should I realize?" I sigh and cross my arms.

"You know!" He says and walks away, leaving me clueless.

What is wrong with him? What do I have to realize? Even if Noah loves me or whatever can't Ryan see that I love him. If it goes like this I don't think we will ever sort it out.

I jog to catch up with the group. "Let's start with the Ferris wheel," Jenny points to the giant wheel in front of us. We pair up in two - Serah and Alex, Harry and Juliet, Sandy and Zyan, Jenny and Noah, me and Lyra. One by one everyone starts getting in.

I have only been in Ferris with Noah. When I was with him, I felt... I don't know... safe? But I don't think I can go without him. He has to be with Jenny. It's after all their together let's list.

"Guys, I'm not coming." Jenny, Lyra, and Noah turn around to face me.

"Why? What's wrong, Jana?" Lyra asks.

What will I say...? I want to be with Noah? No, No!

"Uh... I guess... I need-" "You need me," Noah says, smiling. Our eyes locked in a shared understanding. His words make my heart flutter. You need me... I need him... Wait... No! I don't! Jana, snap out of it!

"No, no!" I shake my head. "It's... fi- fine," I stammer a bit. "You can go with Jenny."

Jenny shrugs, "It's not a big deal. I will go with Lyra."

"Are you sure?" I ask to confirm. I feel bad.

"This is all I wanted," Jenny says, without looking back at me. What does she mean by that though?

Noah takes my hand in his and I look up at him. Why is he even being nice to me after all this? The ride starts moving as soon as we settle in our seats. I glance at him again. Does he still love me? What about Jenny and him? Was Ryan telling the truth?

Noah turns to me. Damn! He noticed me staring at him. "Wanna tell me something?"

"Do you still love me?" I blurt out. I probably shouldn't have asked that all of a sudden, but I needed to know. My question makes Noah tense up, he loosens the arm but is still on hold.

I look into his blue eyes, I feel love. "I do." He replied without any hesitation. That can't be possible. He's with Jenny! He can't still love me...

"What about you and Jenny?" I ask curiously.

"We are not together."

"Does she know about..." I trail off not finding words to fill in.

"Yeah, she does," he says, giving me a nod. "I told her that I'm in love with you."

"I thought you were in love with her when she-" "I told you nothing was gonna change, even if she comes back." He did say that... I don't know why I thought differently. I can't even imagine how Jenny feels.

"Is she okay with that?" I give him a worried frown. All he gives me is a simple nod.

Jenny was acting like nothing was wrong, but she is hurt... more than me... How can she not? She is here after two long years for him to find out he moved on. Loving another girl in a relationship, who can't even figure out her feelings! Why does he still love me?

We get to the top of the Ferris wheel, which shows the entire view of the park and town. People talking and laughing around us fills the silence. I turn back to him. I have too many questions whirling in my mind. It's driving me crazy. "Why did you lie to me?"

"Because you never wanted me to love you and I never wanted to lose you." He tightens the hold.

I don't want him to love me because I know that would hurt him. Ryan was right.

"Are you mad at me?" He asks in doubt.

I shake my head, "Not at all. Now I know that I can't stop you from loving me."

I always tried. He always loved me more...

After going another round, we get back to the top. The lights surrounding the rides make it look vibrant. "It's a full moon day," Noah says, pointing up to the sky. I look up to see the full moon is shining down at us. "Don't you wanna make a wish?" He asks. My eyes light up at the thought. He remembered!

"Yeah... Isn't this our third time together?"

He nods after a moment of thinking. "Is there anything special?"

"Yeah!" I smile brightly. "Your wish will soon come true." I really hope his wish will come true...

He looks at me in disbelief, "I don't think my wish will come true." He meets my gaze, looking at me with sadness in his eyes.

"Well, it's believed that your wish will soon come true if you make the same wish with the same person three times." He gives me a weak smile. I can tell he doesn't believe me. "Trust me, your wish will come true," I smile encouragingly as I squeeze his hand. "We have to make a wish tonight."

**********

As the wheel slowed after three rounds I let go of Noah's hand and get off the ride. I notice Ryan walks next to me. I want to tell him that he was right. "You were right," I say. He arches his brow wondering what I was talking about. "Noah is still in love with me." I pause. "Jenny and Noah aren't together." Ryan just nods, not uttering a word. "What?" I ask.

"He finally admitted it. Now it's your turn."

Is this what he asked me to realize? I don't have anything to realize or confess.

I try to walk away from him, but he grabs my arm, pulling me towards him. He keeps his hand on my lower back and pulls me closer to him, dipping me. Before I could say anything or process what happened, he smashes his lips on mine. I close my eyes. I can't stay mad at him forever. I kiss back slowly.

After a minute, we break away from the kiss, panting for air. He straightens me up and takes his hand off me. I look at him to say something as I smile brightly. Finally... we are back together. He turns and walks away from me. I stand still as I watch him go until he's out of my sight. What just happened? My phone rings, breaking out of my trance. It's Ryan! "Ry-" "I hope we had the best last kiss." Without saying another word, he hangs up on me.

I feel like everything around me stopped. But it's just my world that stopped. Everything moves in slow motion as I hold my phone in place, keeping near my ear. Did he just break up with me? Why is he doing this to me? Is this what he wanted? Tears well up in my eyes as I think more of it. How could he do this to me?

I feel a hand on my shoulder, I turn around, expecting Ryan. "This isn't funny!" I yell turning around. "Are you okay?" Noah?

NOAH

"This isn't funny!" Jana shouts as she turns around. When she it was me, she stares blankly at me. Was she expecting Ryan? "Are you okay?" I ask. Her eyes look glassy... She looks down at her feet. I saw Ryan kiss her and the next moment I was watching him leave. What the hell did Ryan just do?

"Jana," I call. She looks up, tears soon stream down her face. Without saying anything, I extend my arms, pulling her into a hug. Jana instantly falls into my arms, resting her head on my chest. I stroke her hair for a while. "Jana , you okay?"

"Can you hold me for some more time?" Jana asks as she sniffles. I hum in response. I feel like she's comfortable in my arms. I could hold her forever.

After a moment she pulls away and wipes away her tears. Her face is red from crying while her eyes are swollen. "Wanna talk about it?" She nods.

I take her hand in mine and we walk to somewhere it's less crowded. We sit next to each other on the lawn, leaning against a wall. We sit in silence for nearly ten minutes.

"I don't know what happened between us," Jana breaks the silence. Her voice cracks from how much she's been crying. Seeing her like this breaks my heart. "This wasn't us... I don't even know if he just broke up with me," she says, sniffling in between her words.

Did they break up? Damn, she is hurt! What can I even say to her to make her feel better? I can't say they should talk because that got worse.... I can't say he will come back eventually, after what just happened.

A breeze waves over us, forcing us to shiver. Jana drags her legs to her chest, hugging it closely. She keeps her hand around legs and rests her head as she looks at me. "It's cold here. Better we go," I say and start to get up.

She grabs my arm, stopping me from moving. "It's fine," she murmurs.

"I don't have a jacket to offer."

She sits up and moves closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. The night on the bus.... We were together... I wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer. The night I realized I love her...

We sit in silence, listening to the people yelling and cheering from the rides for a while. Some time goes by before either one of us speak. "I know you really love me. I broke your heart into pieces, yet you are still here for me."

I rub her shoulder soothingly. "You didn't break my heart," I pause. "You brought the broken pieces together."

She looks up at me as if she was studying my face. She stares deep into my eyes. God, why is she making me feel like she loves me?

My phone rings, interrupting the stares and my train of thoughts. I take out my phone to see Jenny calling. "Where are you, Noah?" I'm instantly greeted with her yelling.

"Near the ride," I purposefully respond in a vague way.

"Oh... well, we are near the roller coaster. We are waiting for you." She hangs up before I say anything in response. "I guess we should go..."

We stand up and I take her hand in mine again. I don't know why I'm doing this I feel like I should. We make our way to the roller coaster. Jana stops walking and stares into distance. I look back at her, slowing down my pace. "I ruined everything, and I did hurt you..."

"Jana-" "But I want your wish to come true."

My wish is to be with you... never gonna come true.

She points to a big clock hung up on a large tower. One minute left until it hits idnight. "Trust me," she whispers softly.

Once the clock hits twelve, we look at the full moon and close our eyes. 'Make her mine' I wished for the same. I open my eyes to see Jana staring at me. "I wish if I could say I love you."

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey guys! I just wanna announce that within two more chapters 'You Are The One For Me' will come to an end. I will miss all the characters, even though they all are fictional. Will you? Thanks for the support you gave me for the past year. That means a lot to me. Without you all, I won't be motivated to write. VOTE. COMMENT. SHARE.

Did Ryan break up with Jana?

Does Jana really love Noah?