31/12/18

MONDAY

JANA

"Text me when you are back home," Ryan says through the phone as I look myself in the mirror while getting ready for Razzle Dazzle.

"Yeah, I will," I assure while applying lipstick.

"Have fun, Jana. We will celebrate tomorrow." His words make my heart flutter.

A smile forms on my face. "Enjoy your New year," I say softly whilst glancing down at the gift I bought for him.

So.ekne quitely taps on my bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

Immediately recognizing Noah's voice, I put down my lipstick. "Yeah, you can come in," I call out. Whispering into my phone, I bid goodbye to Ryan. "Ok bye, Ryan. I have to go, I will talk to you later." With that, I hang up the call and put it back on the table.

Noah slowly pushes open the door, making the bells on the door jingle. "I will be ready in five minutes. Make yourself comfortable," I inform, waving over to the bed. I look back at my mirror and apply eyeliner.

"Take your time," he says. I watch him through the mirror as he moves across the room, sitting on the bed. Lilith gets up from the floor and settles next to Noah.

I wrap the envelope pendant chain Noah gave me around my neck. I notice him staring at me intently. Still looking through the mirror, i shift my gaze. We make eye for a second before he quickly looked away. I hope this won't be too awkward.

I look down at my black jumpsuit with white floral prints, taking in my fit. "I'm ready."

He stands up. "Let's go then."

Grabbing my backpack, I make sure I have everything. Noah and I quitely talk among each other as we make our way downstairs.

Mom peeks around from the kitchen. "Have fun, children!"

"Yes, mom!" I quickly respond. Grabbing Noah's hand, I drag him outside.

"So, are you excited?" he asks as we get into his car.

I smile brightly, "This is for the first time I'm going to Razzle Dazzle Carnival, so I'm super excited!" A subtle smile forms on his lips, as if he's happy to hear the answer. "What about you?" I ask.

"Just excited to go with you!" He gives me a genuine smile, starting the car in the process.

*********

I practically jump out of the car as Noah pulled in. I gasp, taking everything in. I excitedly looked at the carnival entry which is filled with people, talking and enjoying themselves. Seems like everyone is excited as I'm to celebrate the last day of the year.

"Can I hold your hands?" I look up at Noah I confusion. "You said me you'd be my girlfriend for the night."

"Oh, right..." I mutter under my breath. I reach out, holding his hand in mine. As our fingers intertwine, the warmth from his hand travels up my body. I let out a deep breath, holding back my smile.

We entered the Razzle Dazzle Carnival hand-in-hand. Golden lights wrapped around the entrance, lighting up the place. We stand in front of a board, looking through the list of rides and games. "We have time until 12. What should we do?" Noah asks.

I frown, pouting up at him, "You didn't come up with a plan? I thought you had some idea so you could celebrate the New Year with your one day girlfriend."

He looks down at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. I thought we can figure things out once we arrive at the Carnival."

I drop the frown and let out a giggle. "It's okay. I was just messing around," I grin.

He let's out a groan, causing me to laugh. He looks back at the list. "Can we start with the games? It will be fun."

I shrug, "Yeah, sure."

We go through the list, but most of the games don't seem to catch our interest. "Want to play the dare game?" He asks, looking at me curiously.

I quickly shake my head, "No! There is no way we are doing that!" I can't do the damn dares.

He snickers, "Okay, okay!" We keep looking for other games and then he pause, turning to face me again. "What about eye gazing?"

Eye gazing is nice, but I don't feel comfortable doing it with Noah. Whenever I look into his eyes, I get this weird feeling and I can't take my eyes away. It will make the entire situation awkward, which I have been trying to avoid my maximum for a while. I guess I should reject it.

"Jana, is that okay?" Noah's voice makes me snap back to reality. "That's the only game left."

That's the only game left...Oops! I guess I should agree with him. I hope I won't make it so awkward. I gain as much as composure as I can, trying to act normal in the process. "Yeah... that's fine with me," I finally agree. Did I zone out for too long? I hope I didn't take too long to answer.

With his hand still in mine, we walk to the game corner of Razzle Dazzle. As soon as we buy our tickets a young lady invited us to stage. We hop on the stage like we are supposed to. I gaze into the crowd in front of me, excitedly waiting for another round of games.

The lady grabs a microphone and clears her throat, grabbing everyone's attention. "Our rules are simple. If one of you blink or looks away first, the other person wins. The winner gets a special gift at the end." The crowd cheers while the lady grins.

"Studies revealed that staring into each other's eyes for two whole minutes without interruption can increase feelings of passionate love for each other." I nervously glance at the lady. A sinking feeling grows in my stomach. Her words shouldn't make me this uncomfortable. God, I hope this game goes by quickly. The game is simple and exciting, but I don't want Noah to develop more feelings for me after this contest.

We settle in our seats across the table, placing our hands on it. I give a weak smile to the audience before looking back at Noah.

"Can we?" Noah asks, looking excited. I smile and nod my confirmation. I don't want to ruin your happiness.

"Your time starts... now!" The audience loudly cheers our names, chanting for one of us to win.

I stared into Noah's eyes. A small smile creepsonto my lips, knowing I have a high chance of winning. It's usually difficult pulling my eyes away from his gaze. But at the same time the thought of Noah developing feelings for me made me worry. But the look in Noah's blue eyes made me forget everything. They make me feel like I'm in a deep blue ocean of love.

I stare at him silently, taking in the moment. "I love the way you look at me." I feel like his eyes sparkled when he said those words.

I smile, "I can't help myself. It is because I love your blue eyes."

We fall into silence again, keepingour gaze. "Do you think we are soul mates?"

My smile fades away. The sinking feelings creeps in my stomach once again. This is what I was worried about. "Noah, we are not talking about that," I scorn lightly. I don't want him to get hopes high and ruin this moment.

"I think we are. I have noticed the way you look at me, staring deeply look into my eyes."

"I just... I have never seen such beautiful blue eyes," I lie, trying to weasel my way out of this situation. I fiddle with my fingers.

I can't lie... He's telling the truth. Not about us being soulmates, but... the fact that I can't look away! What's so special about his eyes? Is it the color of his eyes that caught hold of my attention or something else?

Noah softly keeps his hand on mine, pulling me back to reality. I intertwine our fingers, holding my stare without blinking. I don't know how much time passed, but there is no chance of us will look away anytime soon. Adrenaline shoots through my veins as the cheers keep me going.

Noah's face slowly inches closer to mine, making my adrenaline simmer down. I remain still in my seat, unsure of what to do. I feel his face getting much closer as he squeezed my hand. Is he trying to kiss me? The thought makes me back away, breaking eye contact.

The audience, along with the lady, groans. "We didn't see that coming, did we?" The lady asks with a sad face. The crowd shouts their response, voicing their opinion. "But we do have a winner..." Music blades through the speakers nearby. The lady faces Noah, smiling brightly. "Noah, congratulations!" The crowd cheers wildly, making me flinch. I focus on the ground. Was he trying to kiss me? Is this his way of making me fall in love with him?

"Hey..." Noah shakes my shoulders, forcing me to look up at him. He stares at me with concern, "Are you okay?"

I nod slowly, "I'm... I'm good," I give him a weak smile. I'm not good. I can't concentrate on anything other than what just happened. What was his intention? Am I overthinking?

"You are lucky couple!" The lady compliments. "You both got tickets for the concert by..." I zone out, blocking out the lady speaking loudly through the microphone and the roaring crowd. My mind is filled with the game. Noah holding my hand... his blue eyes... when he leaned in...

After Noah collected the tickets, we walk off the stage. Noah and I walk around in silence, unsure of what to say. Noah grabs my arm, forcing me to stop. He points to a bench. "We can sit here until the concert starts." I nod and head to a bench.

I make myself comfortableand stare into the distance, already contemplating. "Tell me what is going on in your mind?" he asks, sitting next to me.

I shake my head, "Nothing," I lie.

He scoffs, "That was a bad lie, try again."

I snort, rolling my eyes as a grin forms on my face. "It's actually... Umm..." I try to make up some lie but nothing came out. Should I lie? What do I even say? "I just... I felt you getting closer and..." I stop and let out a shaky breath. I can't just tell him straight away. Why is this so hard to say? I don't have feelings for Noah. This shouldn't be difficult.

Noah looks at me confused, "And what?" Why is he acting so cool as if nothing happened? Or was I just imagining everything? What if this is all just a misunderstanding? "Jana, tell me."

I close my eyes, letting out another deep breath. "I was afraid you were about to kiss me." I keeps my eyes shut as I hear him inhale sharply.

The sound of the crowd takes over as he continues to stay silent. Why isn't he saying anything? I hesitantly open my eyes, side eyeing him. He's staring at me, trying to keep a straight face. What is wrong with him?

When his eyes meet mine, he instantly burst into laughter. I jump at sudden noise. "What-" Noah snickers. "Oh, I see, making fun of me?" He asks. What does that mean? I'm being so serious and he is just laughing?

I look at him confusion, "What is so funny?" Why is he even laughing?

"I'm sorry," he grins, shaking his head in amusement. "Nothing," his laugh turned to a sorry face suddenly. Why is he acting so weird? I cross my arms and look at him waiting for an explanation.
"I just thought you were mocking me, recalling the Christmas Eve."

Christmas eve? What happenedon the eve? I stare at him in confusion. "What about Christmas eve?" I try to race my brain with everything that happened. The memories soon come flooding in, hitting me like a ton of bricks. "Damn! I was drunk!" I yelp. "I don't remember anything! Did I do something wrong?" I throw questions at Noah nervously picking on my nails.

His eyes widen a little, nervously swallowing. "Nobody told you about that night later?"

"No!" I yell. A rush starts coursing through my veins. What the heck happened that night? All I remember is getting drunk and waking up the next morning with a bad hangover. "Did something happen between us?" I frantically get up, pacing around. Biting my nails, I desperately try to remember everything.

"Hey, hey, hey!" He immediately stands up, walking upto me. He grabs my hand, gently squeezing it. "Take it easy," he says softly, trying to calm me down.

He rubs his thumb against my hand. I breath heavily as I wait for him to explain what happened. I can't think straight right now. What if I did something wrong or weird? Did I say something I wasn't supposed to?

"That happened just because you were drunk. Okay?" I nod quickly waiting for him to explain. "I got a dare to kiss a girl I love... I said it was inappropriate to kiss you, considering the state you were in. I wanted them to change the task, but you made a scene. You refuse to let me take a different task because of the rules."

My eyes trail off, slowly making its way to the ground. That's so embarrassing... I take a deep breath and nod, letting him continue.

"You asked if I was afraid to kiss you," he says slowly. My eyes go wide in shock. My heart feels like it has stopped beating. What have I done? I pull my hand from his. Putting both of my hands up, I bury my face into them. How stupid could I get? I have done embarrassing this before, but this over the top.

"I admitted I was afraid, so you told me you will kiss me instead."

My head snapped up. "What?" I shout. A few people shoot us weird looks, I don't care. Seriously? Did I say that in front of everybody? What will Ryan think of me? Did we kiss? "Did I..." I whisper, voice falling out. I quickly look away, not wanting to face him.

"You didn't kiss," he replies, shaking his head. I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. Thank god! I was going to have a heart attack or something. I look back at him. "Ryan insisted that we kiss and get over with it."

I froze, gaping at Noah. Did Ryan say that? "And we... did we kiss?" I ask nervously.

NOAH

"And we... did we kiss?" She nervously bites her lower lips, fidgeting with her nail.

"I just kissed your cheek," I respond honestly.

She let out a sigh of relief, "Was that it?" I shake my head. "There's more?" She yells, eyes going wide again. Jana groans, "I will never drink again."

"Hey, it's okay..." I say, trying to calm down her. What am I supposed to do? Do I hold her?

"Why didn't anyone told me? Not even Ry-" she stops abruptly. Her uneven breathing makes it hard for her to finish the sentence.

I remain still, unsure of what to do. Should I tell her that I know? I'm not really sure how Jana will take it. I probably should... what's the worst that could happen? "Jana..." She looks up at me, a mix of anxiousness and worry covering her eyes. "I know Ryan is your boyfriend. I don't hate him because of your relationship and he's still my friend."

She raised her eyebrow, "How did you..."

"You told me when you were drunk." That wasn't necessarily the truth. I overheard their conversation about their relationship at Lyra's party. But... I don't want to tell Jana that.

She just nodded. "Did I... say anything else?" Her question slowly rolls of her tongue.

"Uh... yeah," I pause to think if I should say or not. I don't want to tell her this, but Jana has to know. This isn't something I can keep from her. "You said you love me but you can't love me."

Jana looked at me worriedly again, "Did I really say that?" Did that make her feel bad? Oh god! I shouldn't have said that.

I chuckle, hoping that will make her feel better. "No, you didn't. I was just kidding," I lied. I don't want her to feel embarrassed, especially in front of me. There's only so much she could take...

"I didn't know about any of these. So, um... is that it?" She asks, glancing into my eyes.

I nod, giving her some reassurance. She let's out a sigh of relief. I didn't want to tell her how funnily she acts or how she slept on my lap. I can never tell her how I felt about the kiss... I have to keep that away from her... or she will regret about it.

"I'm terrible when I drink, wasn't I?" She frowns.

I laugh, slightly throwing my head back. "Nah, you were pretty cute," I grin. She gasps, slapping on my shoulder. I continue laughing as she rolls her eyes in annoyance.

***********

The bell soon rings, announcing the time for the concert. When we walk in, we are immediately greeted by a crowd. We walk past the crowd to the front almost nearby the stage to get a better view.

I look at Jana standing by my side. Her eyes roam around the room before fixing her gaze on the stage. Her face glows as her beautiful smile forms on her lips. "Which band?" She asked excitedly.

"You didn't hear when that lady announce..." I stop. She was confused about if I was trying to kiss her!

"No my mind was occupied with-"

"Band Hurricanes," I cut her off since I know what it is. I'm happy that conversation dropped. I was actually about to kiss her, looking into her eyes made me feel like I should kiss her. Thank god I didn't do anything stupid. If I have kissed her, all my New Year plans will be dropped and maybe she would have hated me for that.

She was thinking for a second and then her face lit up, "That band performed when I first saw Ry-" she trailed off.

I look at her curiously when she stops speaking. Slight panic flashes in her eyes. "You met him before coming to this school?" I ask, surprised. She nods slowly. Oh, I never knew they met before. Is that when they fell in love?

The band enters the stage, making crowd go wide. Soon enough, they start off with a hit song, 'You are the one'. My eyes meet Jana's, sharing a smile. This song reminds of our first dance together. I still remember it to this day. Every moment with her is precious to me. As the song continues, we lift our arms up, swaying to the beat.

Before the final song, they make an announcement. "We are going to make a moment for you..." The crowd cheers. "It is said that if you kiss your partner on the New Year, you will always be together. So, get on your feet and have a moment!"

Couples get together, dancing as the music softly plays in the background. My heart aches at how happy everyone is. I want to enjoy this moment with Jana, but I can't ask her. I'm worried that I might kiss her... by the end.

When the last song comes near its end, Jana turns to face me. "I have heard that if friends hug on the New Year, they will always be together." She pulls me in a tight hug. I'm taken aback, suddenly in a loss of words. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. As everyone around us kissed, we made our moment with a hug. I wish if Jana could be mine all my life.

The concert ends with the loud cheering from the audience as the band jogs off stage. Jana and I follow the crowd out of the area as they slowly move out. "So... what is so special about the new year celebration here?" She asks.

"There is rides and games here. There's going to be a countdown until midnight and there will be fireworks at the end," I explain.

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. I look at her strangely. What is she scoffing about? She notices the weird look I'm giving her. "That doesn't really sound super no special," she shrug.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think to make it more special."

She giggles, "Its fine. I had fun spending time with you."

Her words put a smile to my face. A part of me wants to her what I have planned to make the New Year special for her, but I have to wait.

She looks down at her watch. "We sti have time until midnight. "

"Yeah. What to go on a ride?"

She nods eagerly, making me grin. I laugh under my breath, amused by her excitement. "Let's go on the Ferris wheel!" She yells.

"So you like it?"

"I liked it ever since the trip. That was the first time I have been on a Ferris wheel and I loved it," she replied with a cute smile.

My mind wanders to the day. She tightly grasped my hand, afraid to let go out of I fear. I loved every minute with her, even if she was scared.

I buy us the tickets. When we settle on the Ferris wheel, she places her hand in mine. But this time she didn't ask for it. The ride shakes, soon lifting us up slowly. "Oh my god! The view is amazing!" I nod in agreement.

The wheel soon stops at the top. I admire the Carnival, a glow radiating from the beautiful lights. U hear Jana, shuffling in her seat. Facing her, I look at her curiously. "I got you a gift." She opens up her backpack. "I'm such a lovely girlfriend, aren't I?" She grins jokingly.

I chuckle, shaking my head. She reaches in pulling out a box wrapped in white paper with red lace. Tearing the wrapper, I'm shortly greeted with a black book with the title 'MAKE EVERY DAY MEMORABLE'

"It's a diary," her soft voice fills in the silence between us. "I hope every day of this New Year will be special for you."

My fingers graze the cover as I admire the gift. "Every day will be special if you were with me..." I mutter under my breath without thinking. Crap... what was I thinking? I can't keep saying these things out loud! Jana inhales sharply, shuffling in her seat. I know she definitely heard me, but she pretends like she didn't.

I clear my throat. "I have something for you too!"

The look of sadness disappears, happy smile soon taking over her alluring face. "I was totally expecting something from you," she giggles.

I took out the small box from my pocket and hand it to her. She reaches for the box and opens it up, revealing a beautiful ring. It took a long time to find something special like this. I want Jana to love it and remember the day we were together under the night sky. The ring is with a special stone in the middle and two crescent Moon on either side, along with six stars on top and bottom.

"For the girl who loves the night sky," I state.

She bites her lips as she smiles. "Loved it, Noah," Jana whispers. Pulling the ring out of the box, she slides it up her finger. Holding up her hand, she admires the shine. "It's beautiful!"

***********

We get down from the Ferris wheel after fifteen minutes. Jana checks her watch, "It's almost New Year!" She shouts, grabbing my hand out of excitement.

I smile, looking down at her. "I have a surprise for you," I say in a sing-songy voice.

She looks at me in confusion,  "You told me you didn't have any plans."

I grin, "Well..." I trail off. "How can I not make a day with you special?"

She smiles, "I'm excited then."

"So close your eyes," I tell her. I place my hands on her eyes, making sure she doesn't peek. We walked forward a few steps and then stops. Dropping my hand, I bend down to her ear. "You can open your eyes now."

She slowly opens them. Blinking rapidly, she gawks at what's in front of her. A small gasp leaves her mouth. "It's... it's a hot air balloon!" I chuckle as she looks back at me thankfully. "I have never been!" She squeals in happiness.

I put my arm over her shoulder,  "I hope you will be okay with the heights."

Jana smiles up at me, "I will be okay if you are with me." My heart swells in happiness at her response. I'm glad she feels protected around me.

We hold our hands and get into the balloon. The pilot gives us a warm welcome before we slowly rise into the air. Jana's face is glowing with happiness as she looks down at the Carnival. "You like it?" I ask quietly.

"It's beautiful," she whispers.  "I love it."

We look back at the view of Razzle Dazzle. Looking further up, I notice the full moon in the sky. "Hey, there's a full moon tonight. Let's make a wish."

"You actually remember?" She asks in shock.

"Of course!" How can I forget something she loves?

"3, 2..." the countdown begins as we both look at the moon before closing our eyes to make the wish. 'Make her mine' I made the same wish.

When I opened my eyes, she was already looking at me with a sweet smile. "Happy new year, Noah." She pulls me in for a big hug. "We will always be together as friends."

I let out a sigh, bringing her closer to me as the firework begins in the background. "Happy new year, Jana."