03/12/18

MONDAY

NOAH

I get off the bus and start walking to school. "Hey Noah!" I turn around, seeing Lyra walking towards me. I stop, allowing her to catch up. "You are early today."

I smile, "Yeah, I love the morning during this time of the month."

"Same here," she says, nodding in agreement.

We continue the walk to the school. Lyra glances at me every now and then. I wonder what's on her mind. She is acting a little weird. "So, what are your plans for Christmas?" Lyra asks, finally breaking the silence.

"I'm going to Serah's place for Christmas eve," I inform.

Her smile fades away, "Oh," she mutters.

Noticing the change in her expression, I look at her curiously. "You okay?"

"I'm good," she shrugs off, giving me a weak smile.

"No, you are not. Tell me what's wrong."

"I just thought..." she trails off and let out a sigh. "I wanted you to come over to my place."

I look at her for a second before letting my gaze drop to ground. I didn't know she wanted to make plans with me. I look back up at her, I can't leave her unhappy, she is my friend now. "You can join us," I invites her.

Quickly shaking her head, Lyra declines her offer. "No, it's fine!" "Lyra-"
"Serah doesn't like me," she replies without looking at me.

"She is my best friend. I can invite anyone," I affirm.

"Anyone except me," she mumbles.

I try eyeing her down, but she avoids eye contact. "You are coming with me. Okay?" I insist.

She groans, "No, Noah! You enjoy with your friends! I don't want to ruin anything, " she tries to deny my invitation.

"But I want you to come."

She stares at me, trying to figure out if I'm telling the truth. "You wanted to spend time with me?" I nod. Lyra contemplates over the decision. "Well, I will come," she finally agrees. "Thanks for inviting," she smiles happily.

I grin, "I guess I'm bringing back the broken pieces of your heart back together." The day she told me that I broke her heart made me feel regret and sadness, but I'm going to try to fix that .

She chuckles, "Yeah, you are."

*********

I walk into the class, immediately noticing Serah, Jana, and Harry in a deep discussion. I head to my place and sits next to Harry. "What's the discussion about?" I ask turning around, facing the girls.

"Christmas eve planning!" Serah yells excitedly.

"Oh nice," I reply. "I invited Lyra by the way."

"What?" Serah asks, in shock.

Looking at her weirdly, I repeat myself. "I said I invited Lyra."

Serah groans, "This party is only for my friends and people I like. Not for everyone on Earth!"

"Serah!" I scorn, as she glares at me. "Lyra asked me to come over to her place for Christmas Eve, but since I'm celebrating with you guys, I asked her out and invited her to come with me." I look at my phone and hear the three of them shuffling around in their seat. I look up to see them staring at me in shock. I glance at them in confusion until I realize what I just said. "Guys, it's not like that!" I exclaim, instantly denying it. "I invited her as a friend not as my date."

Harry laughs, "I thought you started to fall for her."

I shake my head as Serah let's out a sigh. "Fine, whatever. She can come over to my place if you love her and that makes you happy." Jana nods in agreement.

"I love Jana, not Lyra," I blurt out, glancing at Jana. Damn it! I promised myself that I wouldn't say that again since she is in love with Ryan. Jana looks at me with a look of concern and confusion. "I'm good. Don't worry," I lied. I don't think I can ever feel good, but I can't let Jana know that.

"We need to talk," Jana whispers. I quickly nod, letting her know that I will meet up with her later.

As Ms. Susan enters the room, the class immediately goes silent. "Morning class," "Good morning, Ma'am"

A smile appears on her face, which is unusual. I have never seen her smiling, so she must have some exciting news. "Students, there is happy news for you all. Christmas is coming, so a celebration has been planned at our school on 14th. This year, we have a special game. The winner gets the ticket to the Razzle Dazzle New Year Carnival, which is held on 31st December." Gasps and exciting chatter fills the air."Settle down, everyone!" A Hush falls over the class as we stare at intently. The winner gets to choose one person to tag along with them."

I glance at Harry. He looks around the room with a blank expression. We had been happy to hear this, as Razzle Dazzle is so damn special and everyone would be happy to go there. But none of us are in the mood right now. It's all because of me. My heart is broken, but did I broke their hearts as well?

I zone out, not listening to the rest of the announcement. All I could think was about how to make them believe that I was happy.

**********

The bell rings, snapping me out of my thoughts. I grab my stuff, sighing deeply. Has it actually been two hours? "Noah!" I turn around to face Jana. "I want to tell you something," she says and I nod.

We go to 'Our Paradise' to talk. I need to stop calling it 'Our Paradise'. Jenny's gone and she's not coming back ever!

I sit down under the tree with Jana sitting in front of me. "Noah, I know it's hard for you."

"I know it's hard for you, too," I reply.

She raises a brow, "I didn't get you."

"You love me, but you can't love me," I declare.

"Noah, what do you mean?" She asks. "I don't love you the way you want me to," she says gently, staring deep into my eyes. She says she doesn't love me, but her eyes said that she loves me and I couldn't look away.

"I get this feeling whenever you look into my eyes."

Jana looks down, breaking the stare."I'm in love with someone else."

"You are the one for me."

"No, I'm not," she says sternly, looking up.

"Can you be my girl for at least a day?" I ask simply.

"Noah, what are you even saying?" she asks in an irritated tone. "It doesn't make any sense."

"Just forget it," I mutter. "What you wanted to talk about?"

Jana stares at me with her soft eyes. "We all don't want to see you in this state."

"I have been in this state since Jenny left me. I drifted from the state because I realized you are the one for me-" "-Noah" she cut me off. "After knowing you can't love me, I-"

"I know why Jenny left!" I freeze. Did I hear her correctly? "What?" I whisper breathlessly.

"I'm not lying to make you feel better," she says, shaking her head. "I just want to let you know the truth." But how does she know?

I listen as Jana tells me everything Ryan told her. I was wrong. All this time, I thought Jenny betrayed me. I should have listened to her.

"Jenny could have told me the reason," I whisper, voice cracking a little.

"If she had told you, your condition will be worse," she says, gently raising her hand on mine. Jana's right, I had been mad at myself for not being able to find her. "If she is the one-" "Don't say that! She is not and you know that!"

Jana sighs, "Did you hate her even after knowing why she did this to you?"

"No, I don't," I reply, shaking my head. "I know she is not the one though. She is no longer my girl, but I want to see her again." Jana nods and awkwardly looks around, unsure of what to say. I clear my throat. "Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem," she says quietly. We sit in silence, enjoying the atmosphere. "Lyra loves you," she says breaking the silence. I look at the ground. I know Lyra loves me, but I don't love her back. They all hate Lyra but wants me to love her. But why? For me to be in love and happy? But it seems impossible now.

**********

The bell rings indicating the end of the class. "Jana, you going with Serah?" Harry asks. Jana nods.

I look around her curiously, "Where are you guys going?"

"To Alex's house. We are inviting him over for the Christmas Eve party," Serah replies.

"Oh," I mumble.

"By the way, Lyra can come for the eve," Serah smiles. "I know you will be happy," she adds. From the corner of my eyes, I notice Jana glancing at me.

"Thank god!" I know Serah still believes I will love Lyra, but Jana knows I can't but she wanted me to.

JANA

"By the way, Lyra can come for the eve," Serah agrees. "I know you will be happy," she says. I glance at Noah, knowing that smile is fake. I want him to be genuinely happy, but that means I have to be his girl which I can't. If there is any other way to make him happy I would have done that already.

"Thank god!"

***********

Serah impatiently rings the doorbell multiple times. She groans, turning to face me. "Where the hell is Alex?"

I chuckle, knowing that she is mad at Alex for taking leave today. "Serah, calm down. Give him some time."

By the time Serah reaches for the doorbell, the door opens to reveal Alex. He stands there with a surprised look. "Why are you here?"

Serah rolls her eyes, "Is that what you ask your guest?"

Alex blinks rapidly, take aback. "I'm sorry, babe."

"Aww," I admire. "You called her Babe!" I chuckle, making Alex and Serah smile at each other shyly.

"Come inside, girls." He moves out of the way, letting us walk in. We settle on the couch in the hall, Alex sitting opposite us.

I look around, trying to find Ryan. where is he? I lean over to Serah, "Ask where Ryan is," I whisper and she nods. I saw Ryan at school today, but didn't get a chance to talk.

"No one else here?" Serah asks.

"Ryan is here. I think he's in his room upstairs, practicing," Alex informs an stands up from his seat. "I will call him." A smile appears on my face, excited that Ryan will be surprised to see me here.

"No, it's fine. No need to disturb him," Serah says to Ale. She looks at me with a deviant smirk as I glare at her. What the hell?

"Yeah, you are right. It's better not to disturb," Alex says, sitting back down. "By the way, what's the purpose of your visit?" he asks.

Serah rolls her eyes, "Do we need a reason to come see you?"

"No. But still..." he scratches the back of his neck.

"Still what, Alex?"

"Okay, fine. I will get you coffee." With that, he gets up and leaves us alone.

As soon as he leaves the room, I smack Serah's arm and scream, "Serah!"

"Owww!" She pouts, rubbing her arm. "Go see him."

I furrow my brows, "What?"

"How can I tell Alex to call him down when he told Ryan is practicing?" She says, rolling her eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Go and look for him. When Alex comes back, I will say you are just seeing around the house."

I sigh, "Fine." Not a bad idea though.

I walk upstairs and start looking around. I open some doors, hoping it would lead to Ryan's room. I have no clue where Ryan's room is since it's my first time here. As I walk further, I hear music coming from a room. The door is wide open, so I let myself in. Ryan is playing the guitar facing the wall, so he doesn't notice me walking in. I quietly walk through his room, not making any sound. When I finally reach him, I close his eyes from behind.

"Hey, who is that?" I bite my lip, trying to remain silent. He carefully put his guitar on the side. He touches my hand, trying to identify me. "A girl!" I chuckle as he quickly stands up. "Who are you?" He asks again. I roll my eyes, can't he identify me? "Sweetheart Jana, what are you doing here?"

I drop my hands to my side, allowing him to face me. "Who are you?" I mock.

He rolls his eyes, "What are you doing here anyways?"

I smile up at him, "I'm here to see you."

"I don't think you sneaked into my house," he says.

I grin, "That's what you always ask me to do."

Ryan laughs wholeheartedly,  shaking his head in disbelief.  "Alex is downstairs. Didn't he see you?" Wow, he actually believed that I sneaked in.

I laugh, "I came over with Serah. Alex is with her right now, " I explain.

"And you came up here to see me?" I nod. "Like actually to see me?" he asks once again, still in doubt.

I giggle,  reaching up to play with his hair, "Yes Mr. BTB."

He stares at me, "You are not here just to see me." I raise my eyebrow in confusion. "You came here to complete the deal, didn't you?" He grins, taking a step forward closer to me.

I step away, resting a hand on his chest.  "No, Ryan." I never even thought about the deal after that day. I bite my lips to keep a smile from spreading across my face.

"Yes, Jana." He steps forward, decreasing the gap between us.

"The deal was I can kiss you whenever I wish," he whispers. I sharply suck in my breath. How stupid was I to make such a deal? That was just to make Ryan feel better, but he's taking it too seriously. I thought he would forget because I did.

I shake my head, "Some other time."

"No way!" He denies and wraps his hand around my waist.

"Serah and Alex are here," I warn.

"This is my room, though," he says bringing his face closer to mine. "Plus, you are my girl."

A small blush forms on my face. "Fine," I agree. "You can kiss on my hand," I wave my hand in front of his face, waiting for him to kiss it.

He scoffs, "Offer rejected."

I pull my hand away. "Okay, then my forehead."

"Offer rejected again," he smirks. I roll my eyes getting irritated. "Close your eyes, babe," he ordered.

I groan, "Fineeeee!"

I slowly close my eyes, expecting his lips on mine. My heart starts beating faster as he shuffle closer to me. This is going to be our first kiss, but I'm not  prepared for it. It's because I wanted our first kiss to be special and memorable. I feel his lips hover over mine before suddenly pulling away. "Open your eyes."

I quickly open them, staring directly at him in confusion. He didn't kiss me. " You didn't kiss," I say. He chuckles,  making me confused.  "What?" I can't understand what he is doing.

"I was just messing around. I want our first kiss to be special." I let our a sigh of relief and let out a small laugh. He chuckles and reaches for something. Ryan quickly places a small box in my hand. "For you," he says softly.

I slowly peel off the wrapper, unraveling the box. "Open the box," he whispers. I do as he says and lift the lid of the box, soon revealing a rose gold bracelet with the letters J and R written out. He reaches inside, grabbing the jewelry. After gently grabbing my hand, he wraps the bracelet around my wrist. I gasp as I eye it down. It's so beautiful! What is so special about today?

"Is there... a special day coming up or...?" I ask hesitantly, trying to think what day it is.

He sighs, "Can't I buy gifts for my girlfriend out of love?"

I blush, "No, but... was there anything that was supposed to happen today? You didn't expect me here today. "

He grins and let out a breathy laugh. "I, uh..." Ryan trails off. "I was actually planning on sneaking into your bedroom tonight to give you this gift."

My eyes go wide. "What?" I almost yell out of shock. I can't even imagine that happening.

He laughs loudly,  amused by my reaction. "You should have seen your face," he says in between breaths, grabbing his stomach from laughing so much.

I groan,"Ryannnn!"

A playful smirk plays on his lips, "I was just kidding."

I roll my eyes. "Seems like you wanted me to come," he again grins, trying to make fun of me.

"No, Ryan!" I whine.

He chuckles, "I'm coming over."

"No, you are not." Ryan sneaking into my bedroom in the middle of the night was not even on my daydream list.

"Why did you give me this gift today?"

"I was planning to give you this as a Christmas present, but didn't want to ruin the mood after not kissing you..." he trails off.

Oh god! As I look down at my wrist, admiring the bracelet, guilt starts to sink in. I have never given him any gift. I haven't even thought about Christmas gifts! My mind wanders to Noah. I have been giving him a lots of presents. Why am I gifting Noah instead of Ryan? My heart flutters at the thought of him. Am I developing any feelings for Noah? No way! I just want him to be happy. That's it, nothing more, nothing less. I want to gift something to Ryan, I should seek Sandy's help.

"Why did you pull away when we were about to kiss?" I ask curiously. "You seemed like you wanted a kiss."

Ryan shrugs,  "I want our first kiss to be special." I nod understandingly. That's what I thought, but I feel sorry now. He deserves a small kiss.

I wrap my arm around his shoulder. He tenses up, not expecting a sudden contact. "What's your plan my dear girlfriend?" he mutters into my ear. I shush him, pulling him closer to me.

"Jana!" I jump back in panic. I pull my hands away from Ryan after hearing Alex shouting.

"Coming!" I shout back.

Ryan and I walk out of his room, soon to be greeted by Alex. He stares at the two of us, confused as to why we were in Ryan's room.

"I was just looking around the house and bumped into Ryan," I explain. "We were just talking." He may doubt us, Damn!

"Oh," he says quietly. I suck in a deep breath. I hope he believed me. I don't want Alex to find out what's going between me and Ryan. "We were waiting for you," Alex says.

"Let's go downstairs, then!" Ryan exclaims.

We walk down the hall, slowly going down the stairs. Ryan soon come face to face with Serah. "Hey, Serah!" He greets.

Serah smiles, "Hey, Ryan."

I sit next to Serah, Ryan sitting opposite me with Alex. Serah whispers in my ear, "What the hell were you doing so long?"

"I will explain later," I quickly reply. I sit up, facing Ryan and Alex.

Alex stares at me, studying my face. I look at him weirdly. Why is he staring at me so hard? "Are you in love with Ryan?"

I froze, staring at him in panic. My mouth opens, trying to come up with an answer. "No!" I sternly reply. What made you think-"

"I told him," Serah says frantically. Ryan and I quickly glances at Serah. I stare at her in confusion. Why would she tell Alex, especially when I told her not to tell anyone? I hear the pounding in my chest as I nervously play with my fingers. Serah looks at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, I accidentally told you will be in Ryan's room and I had to tell him everything." I let out a deep breath, slumping into my seat.

"It's find," I say. Not a big deal letting Alex know.

Alex turns to face Ryan. "You could have told me."

"We didn't want to let Noah know, so we thought we would keep it away from all of you," I clarify.

Alex shakes his head dismissively, "It's fine. I understand."

Ryan looks at me and Serah. "Now tell me girls, why you both are here?" I purse my lips. I knew he didn't believe me.

"Oh, I forgot," Serah says. "We are hosting a party at my house on Christmas eve. You guys should come," Serah invites.

"Oh, nice. We will come," Ryan assures.

"Okay!" Serah chirps. "That was all we came for."

Sarah and I get up from our seat, Alex and Ryan following in suit. We say our goodbyes, hugging each other before leaving. The two boys leads us outside. "You guys have a nice garden," Serah compliments. Alex and Serah says quietly walk over there, leaving us alone.

Ryan grabs my hand, pulling me close to him. before leaving. "Promise me I will get the kiss on the party," he says in a low voice. I stand on my tiptoes and  kiss him on the side of his neck. He has taken aback, surprised by the unexpected kiss.

"You got it," I grin.

He smiles stupidly, "That was unexpected." I wink at him naughtily, "This too," he laughs.

I giggle and start moving away from him, "The deal is over." With that, I turn around and walk to Serah.

"Not yet!" he yells. I turn around to face him, slowly walking backwards. He grins at me mischievously, "According to the deal it is me who kisses whenever I wish."

I smirk playfully, "Make it special then."

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey guys, hope you all liked the chapter. Don't forget to vote, comment and share.

Will Noah be able to stop loving Jana?