R   Y   A   N

          SITTING AROUND the pool, I soak up the Californian sun, sweating in the heat. Only, I'm glad I have a pool at my disposal and not walking around New York City in this kind of heat. Nate and Nico are at work, and since Thursday's were my day off for now, I'm having a day to myself. I did message Sophie, but she's been attached to Jackson ever since she got home. I can't blame her really, but she promised she would see me this weekend and we would go shopping together. As for Matty, he was at a party last night, meaning he is recovering from a hangover.

With it being Summer, most of the parties happen in the first few weeks of people getting home from collage and even though I was invited last night, I was still worried about the people I would bump into. Not to mention, I had a date with Nico. My body is still humming from all the pleasure he gave to me last night. He made me feel worshipped. Important. Like I am the only girl for him. He made major leaps with me last night and I'm happy he was able to show his dominate side to me, even though he held back a little.

He explained it afterwards. Telling me I got the vanilla version of that side of him, and to be honest, if that was the vanilla side to him, I did wonder what it would be like when he is fully on form.

The one thing I can take from last night was that I finally got to touch him. Not just holding his hand or shoulders. I was able to explore his body with his permission. I don't think Nico will ever be okay with touching certain areas on his body, but he gave me that chance to explore. To know the green, yellow and red areas of his body, although, I didn't give him a chance to say the word red.

At first, I didn't think he would go for my safe words, adding numbers to the traffic light system he has, however, it made sense to me. To see where my hands could go, and where there were those cautious areas. He mentioned he didn't like his stomach and lower back touched, but I needed to see, to see where exactly I could touch him.

The lower I got, the higher the numbers went. Yellow one, just under his his pecs. Yellow two, a few millimetres below the top of his abs. Yellow three, the first set of muscles on his abs. I made a mental note of mapping out where on his tattoos I stopped, knowing for the next time I get to explore his body. The tattoo on his torso was of a skull, covered in roses around it, my finger tips stopped just above the eye sockets of the skull.

When I pulled my hands away and washed the rest of his body, all while his eyes never left mine, I felt a spark. Not like the usual spark there is between us. That spark is more like a passion or lust, desire. No, last night, that spark was trust. He trusted me enough to touch him, to know not to push him, just like I've trusted him and Nate not to push me. But now there are questions. Questions I've secretly asked myself these passed few days. Questions that I don't have the answer to, but I know who to ask.

I pick up my phone and search for the number I'm looking for, hesitating on the phone button, I stop and press for video call instead.

"HEEEEEEYYYYY!" a loud voice says when they answer, "what up girl?!"

"Hey, how's Boston?" I smile back at Amy.

"My mahr was annoying the hell out me so I came home," she giggles and she turns the camera round, showing the living room of our flat back in New York.

"Mahr?"

"Yeah... my mum," she chuckles, imitating my London accent.

"You know, your accent gets so thick when you've been home," I giggle, listening to how thick her Boston accent is.

"Should of heard be talking to the guy at the burger joint earlier," she laughs, "I had to orhder twice."

"Oh my god," I laugh back, covering my eyes. "so, how long did you last?"

"Almost two weeks," she chuckles and shrugs, "I had enough and changed my ticket to come back a few weeks early, arrived back three days ago. I miss you and Matt! the flat is not the same without you guys!"

"You mean apartment?" I say, smiling with my eyebrow quirked up. Matthew and Sophie knew not to correct me when I spoke words that I still associated with things, seeing as I mainly grew up England. However, Amy never understood the whole sofa/couch, flat/apartment, chips/fries sayings.

"Potato, potahto. If you're not gonna learn American, I'll learn English" she says waving her hands around and rolling her eyes with a giggle. "How is it being home after so long?"

"It's nice, I missed it."

"It's been almost two years Ryan, it's understandable."

"Yeah, just didn't realised how much I missed it," I tell her. It was true. I had missed home. I missed going for swims in the lake at the back of our house. The ice cream parlour and diner we use to always go to. My home, and then there's the people I left behind for me to go to school on the other side of the country. Although, at least they came to visit me while I was out there.

"Where are your parents? I wanna say hi to your mahr," she smiles. When my family came to visit me over the years, Amy really connected with my mum. She said she reminded her of her aunt back in Boston, just with a posh accent. Not like a London accent is anywhere near posh sounding where we were from.

"My parents have gone to England, there was a family emergency."

"Oh no, everything good?"

"Yeah. My mum's biological dad is sick, so she went to care for him. Luckily enough dad can work remotely so he went with her for support."

"This the ass wipe that dissed you and Tori?" she says, glaring.

"Yep. Hence why I didn't go with them."

"You with your sista?"

"Actually, I'm staying next door," I smile.

"OH! Well, at least if you forgot- WAIT?! Next door? From your house?"

"Yeah."

"As in... the two hotties from your prom picture next door?"

"Yeah," I tell her, still smiling.

"As in Mr dimples and Mr I wish your hand was wrapped around my throat, next door?" She says in a high pitched voice, eyes wide.

"Amy."

"You're so lucky!" She whines, her head thrown back on the sofa.

"Amy."

"Why do you get all the luck, sleeping under the same roof with men as sexy as them?!"

"Amy," I say again trying to get her attention.

"They're so hot. My childhood neighbours look like they go to the library for fun!"

"AMY!!" I yell, and her eyes snap back to me, giving me her full attention, "that's actually one of the reasons why I called you."

"Huh?" She sits up, a confused look on her face.

"How did you know you was ready to loose your virginity?"

"Are you kidding me?! WHICH ONE?! She yells excited.

Amy never shied away form the fact that she thought the two very sexy men in my fake prom picture were hot. She always commented on how handsome Nate looked and how Nico looked like the type of guy you would sneak out the house to go and meet without your parents knowing. She always jokingly asked if they were available and if she had a shot with one either of them, and knowing what I know now, she wouldn't. I never not disagreed or agreed with her about the Greyson brothers. Everyone thought they were good looking. I just didn't see them that way, not until I got home.

"Ermmmm," I hesitate to answer. Amy is far from a judgemental person and ever since I've known her, I never hid anything from her. But, that doesn't mean she won't.

"C'mon, spill!" she says again excitedly.

"Dimples."

"I knew it! It's always the ones who have that lady killer smile and could get away with murder in the first," she giggles.

"You've been watching way too much Law and Order."

"Actually, I've been re-watching CSI," she laughs back. "So, dimples. Nathan right?"

"Yeah, but... also-"

"If you say both of them, I'm getting on the next flight out to Cally to give you the biggest high five ever!!!!"

"Really Amy?" I giggle but then I stop, smiling while shrugging my shoulders. For some reason, telling Amy feels a little easier than telling anyone else I've told so far. Maybe it's because a small part of me doesn't really care what people's opinions are of my life and who I date.

"Shut the fuck up," she whispers, eyes wide.

"Amy?"

"Shut the fuck up," she says again in disbelief.

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Shut... the ...fuck... up," she says slowly.

"AMY!" I whine while giggling, "please don't tell me I've broken you!"

Amy prompts the phone up on the coffee table of our flat, leaning forward she asks me to start at the beginning, telling her everything that has happened these past few weeks. I don't miss a beat on anything, from seeing them with Melanie, my dreams and fantasies I had about them. That night in Nate's car, the pool table with Nico, everything. At one point during the conversation, Amy even got up to go get a snack and glass of wine, just so she could listen to me talk.

"And that's everything?"

"Everything," I tell her, ending my story with my night in Nico's playroom.

"Damn girl! You've been gone less than a month and you've gone from the Virgin Mary to the female version of Hugh Heffner!" She giggles grabbing her wine glass and saluting me, "Fucking proud of you!"

"Oh my god," I giggle back at her.

"So you think your ready to give up your V card?"

"I dunno," I mumble. It had crossed my mind. More than once actually, but I wasn't sure if I was ready or not. Yes, the three of us have done stuff, but I always imagined my first time to be somewhat romantic, and loosing your virginity to not one but two men... is that romantic?

"Gurl! I say fuck it and just do it," she says firmly. "Loosing your virginity is not as a big of a deal as people make it out to be unless you've been in a relationship with someone since, like, the tenth grade."

"Who did you sleep with the first time?"

"With a guy I had been dating since the tenth grade," she smiles and I giggle softly. "Ryan, people think they need to wait till marriage or when the right person comes along. In my opinion, you're ready when it feels right. Doesn't matter if its today, tomorrow or if you're 45yrs old and live with eight cats!"

"Dogs, I prefer dogs," I giggles and she smiles.

"Fine, dogs. Either way, you're ready when it feels right... so, does it feel right?"

In answer to her question... does it feel right? Yes. It does feel right. And yes, I want to.

Nate and Nico make me feel things I have never felt. They make me feel beautiful, cherished. Almost like if Aphrodite herself stood in front of them in all her beauty and myself beside her, they would still choose me. It isn't just lust or desire between us, there's a connection. A connection I feel like I've been craving from the opposite sex that I have never managed to find. I thought that connection could possibly happen in high school, but with my bullying it never did. I thought possibly Dean in college to result into something, but again, he turned out not be a good guy.

With the Greyson brothers, even if it didn't work out between the three of us, at least I cold look back and know I made the right choice for my first time.

"Just call me when it happens, I want details gurl!!!" she giggles wagging her eyeborws.

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          THE GREYSON brothers got home an hour ago, and while they both showered and changed out of their suits, I was in the kitchen cooking Shepard's Pie. Baking was more my thing, but seeing as Nate does most of the cooking, I wanted to give him the night off and let them try a dish we always had in our house growing up.

"Smells amazing, beautiful," Nate says, wrapping his arms around me while I put the mash potato over the mince in the baking dish.

"Shepard's pie, my nan's recipe."

"Just mince and potato right? Not gonna be layers of custard and lady fingers in there?" He giggles.

"Rachel Green may be able to mess up a simple dessert dish by mixing trifle and Shepard's pie together but give me some more credit than that please," I tell him matter of factly and I place the dish in the oven to brown off.

"Just checking," he says chuckling and pats me on the butt, walking away to set the table. "We have a doctor coming in about an hour, and then we can have dessert afterwards."

"I didn't make a dessert," I tell him questioningly, standing straight.

"Oh, well, I guess you're the dessert tonight beautiful," he winks smugly.

"You're like a teenager," I giggle.

"Problem?" He says, staring at me with those ice grey eyes that just make me melt.

My conversation with Amy earlier had my head for a loop. Should I say something? Should I tell them what I have been feeling about being 'ready'. My stomach twists in knots and now I'm second guessing whether this is a good idea or not. I mean, I've practically done everything else with them, just not... THAT. I'm not sure what is holding me back, or what I am afraid of, but what do I say. "Hey guys, I think I'm ready to have sex now!" Or do I just show them I'm ready. My overthinking mind goes into overdrive, that I don't even notice Nico walking into the kitchen.

"You okay princess?" Nico says, snapping me from my trance.

"Huh?"

"You okay?" he says, wrapping his muscled arms around me and I place mine around his neck.

"Yeah... just thinking, is all," I smile and reach on my tippy toes to plant a kiss to his lips. "Why is the doctor coming? You guys okay?" I ask them, now realising what Nate actually said a few moments ago.

"We thought it would be easier if the doctor came here for our three monthly check up and maybe you could ask them about birth control," Nico smiles softly.

"We now have a meeting at 9am tomorrow, so we won't be able to get to the doc's in the morning like we planned," Nate says, walking up to me and his brother, his hands holding my hips.

When I went to dinner with Nico yesterday, he did mention about going to the doctor's office before work Friday, but I guess this is a little easier if they have a meeting to get to in the morning. I still wasn't sure what kind of birth control I was going to take, but that was for a conversation with the doctor when they arrive.

"Also, we spoke to your parents earlier princess."

"Everything okay?" I say, a small part of me hoping they aren't coming back yet. I want to stay in my little bubble with the brothers for a little while longer.

"Everything is good, but it's Shawn's wedding next weekend and we're part of the grooms party so we have to be there," Nate says, placing his lips to my hair.

"Oh, okay," I say, knowing that Shawn lives in San Francisco so the wedding will probably be there. Meaning that they wont be gone for a day, more like the weekend. "Well, I can stay with Tori and Noah while you're gone, that's no problem. I'm sure they wont mind, Noah will probably make me make him my cheesecake the whole time I'm there. He'll love it," I laugh softly, rolling my eyes.

"Actually princess, we asked your dad if it was okay if you came with us," Nico smiles.

"Come with you?"

"Sure, why not?" Nate whispers next my ear.

"Is Shawn and Kate okay with that? Me coming to their wedding?" I ask. I met Shawn and his twin brother Stefan a hand full of times, but only Kate once. I'm practically a stranger and I honestly don't want to intrude on a special day like their wedding.

"They're fine with it, we each had a plus one anyway princess."

"Still. It's their wedding, they don't really know me."

"Shawn knows you."

"Not really Nate," I smile. "I just don't want to intrude on their big day by gate-crashing is all."

"You're not gate-crashing, princess. You're going as our plus one," Nico says with a soft smile.

"You sure it's okay?"

"We're positive beautiful."

"I have nothing to wear though," I giggle as then both start to attack my neck, peppering kisses along my skin.

"We've got that covered princess," Nico winks.

*word count - 2838*

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NEW CHAPTER ALERT! 😂
Sorry it's been a few weeks, I've been off work and it was non stop meeting up with people and doing things. I didn't have 5mins to myself.

Hope you've enjoyed this chapter, the next few chapters are already planned in my mind and I'm writing the next one right now so hopefully won't be waiting long.

Stay safe!
Chantal
Xoxo
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