N I C H O L A S

        LOOKING AT how uncomfortable Ryan looked after hearing the next question, 'who did you last have a sex dream about?', I'm curious to know her answer. She looked so cute when she blushed and right now her cheeks glowed a beetroot red.

"Why is she so embarrassed by a sex dream?... ...God she is still as beautiful as ever," I think.

Everyone has them now and again, I used to get them all the time when I was a teenager, but now not so much. I can't even remember the last time I had one or who it even was about. All my 'sex dreams' now are fantasties I could only dream up, never to happen in real life.

"Alright, spin the bottle babe."

We all watch as she lifts her legs off Nat, grabbing the empty plastic bottle to spin it round, waiting to see who it lands on. I can see in Nat's face he is disappointed from the lost of contact with her, but I was even more annoyed that he sat in the beanbag with her in the first place. We made a promise to each other, only Nat was already breaking the rules. I know we teased her earlier in the kitchen, but we still had to somehow keep a safe distance from her to not get too touchy feely and from her widen eyes, that pink blush on her neck and cheeks; Nathan isn't keeping his hands to himself.
   She twists the bottle on the table, spinning clockwise and it slows down to a halt, stopping in front of Nat. Tightening my hand into a fist I curse him under my breathe as quiet as I can while Nat's smile changes into the Cheshire Cat. That fucking, lucky bastard.

"Vitto!" Ryan yells out loud, making Sophie psychically jump next to me and everyone else just snaps their heads to look at her.

"What? One of the most revealing questions and you vitto already!?"

"Yep," she says making her pouty lips push and pop out the P.

"Damn I want to feel those lips again," I think watching her as I lick my own.

"And vitto means?"

"She's bypassing the question as usual," Matt moans again rolling his eyes, annoyed.

To be honest I'm just as annoyed as he was. I truthfully wanted to hear her answer, learning some of her darkest desires, but it didn't look like she was going to tell us anything, not even Nat. If she did tell him, at least I could of gotten it out of him later. It was a shame, she had grown so much confidence in the two years she had been away, only the shy girl with the twinkly eyes and gorgeous smile that hid behind her hair was still there. Just as cute. Just as beautiful. Just as desirable.

"Vitto."

"Not in this game Ryan, no vitto's allowed. Plus you already shouted secret so, tell Nathan about your last sex dream," Matthew smirks.

Hidden behind his eyes you can tell he already knows the answer, he is clearly pushing her buttons to spill the details. Only my girl is stubborn as ever and I know she won't go down without a fight. The worse thing about Ryan was her stubbornness and the only thing worse than her stubbornness was both of us standing off to each other because I was just as bad.

"Fuck!"

"Language princess," I say narrowing my eyes at her, my voice deep and commanding, but she doesn't even flinch as I scold her for her naughty language she feels so comfortable to start using in front of me.

I never liked to hear a female curse, I always thought it was too unladylike to hear such profanity come from a women's mouth. Especially Ryan's. She was too bashful and angelic to be speaking such filth, unless I had her wrapped around my body pushing her to the edge of complete pleasure.

"No... nope! Not here in front of people Nic, push that thought to the back of your mind man.
You can't get a raging boner in front of everyone!" I think, shaking off the thought of her wriggling under me.

"Urgh! I really don't want to tell Nate that, can I get another question?"

"Your rules Ryan, tell Nathan your secret," Matt smiles.

Ryan takes a deep breath, sinking deep into the beanbag next to Nat. He watches her every move as she fumbles with the hem of her shorts, clearly trying to figure out a way she's going to get out of this question somehow. She looks just as nervous and shy as she did ten minutes ago when the subject of our first kiss came out. I didn't mean to spill and tell everyone, but Sophie said that not one of us had a meaningful, genuine first kiss and she was right - none of us did... except Ryan.
   I wanted to kiss her. It wasn't a pity kiss or a great way to finish off a date... actually it was the perfect way to end the perfect date. Only that wasn't the reason why I wanted to kiss her. I had wanted to kiss those lips for a long time, even to just touch them with the pad of my thumb. I couldn't let her go that night without kissing her at least once, to say I had her as mine just once, even for five minutes. I would of cursed my life every damn day if I had passed up that opportunity once I had her to myself. She was too stunning that night to not give her the goodnight kiss I so desperately wanted to give her. The goodnight kiss every girl should get on the night of her prom as her date takes her home. And I'd do it all again.

"Shit!" She says and she looks straight towards me with apologetic eyes. If she was mine I would really like to punish her for all this fowl language.

I had enough toys to punish her, but also enough toys to bring her howling in pleasure too. The things I wanted to do to her if she was mine was a distant thought, only I always thought about it, every damn time she popped into my head I thought about it.

"Fuck man, get a hold of yourself!" I say to myself, trying to rid the thoughts of her in my grasps
and me doing anything I wanted to her before I get a boner in front of everyone.

"Hey guys! We're gonna go out for a late coffee, anyone want to join?" Tori says, popping her head in the door of Ryan's room.

"ME!" Ryan says shooting up from the beanbag as fast as she could and running towards the door.

Now that's a shame.

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        JUST AFTER midnight, me and Nat walk into the house, heading straight into the kitchen. I walk towards the fridge taking out two beers handing him one after popping the cap off. We just got back from having a few coffees with Tori and Noah at a twenty four hour diner not far from the house with Ryan, Sophie and Matthew. It was the perfect escape Ryan had to avoid answering her intruding question about her last sex dream.
   There was a few harsh hushed words between her and Matthew and I can could only imagine he is in the best friend dog house for pushing her to tell her secret. I don't blame him for writing that question down because it was a revealing question, but I'm kinda annoyed I didn't hear the answer.

"Are we gonna talk about what happen earlier?" Nat says sitting on the bar stool across from me.

"What?" I shrug.

I knew what Nathan wanted to discuss, it was obvious since it got brought up. For the rest of the night after it was revealed that me and Ryan had shared a kiss, I knew he would want to talk it out, telling me how I broke the rules. Only I broke the rules after the rules were made. I did nothing wrong, but that didn't stop the stink eye he gave me all night.

"Don't what me Nic, you know damn well what I'm talking about," he says annoyed, tapping his fingers on the counter.

"What Nat?"

"We made a deal Nic, Ryan is off limits. You kissed her and you broke the rules," he says irritated.

It was true, I broke the rules and Ryan was off limits. We made that deal when we both said we wanted her, the night after prom - it was either one of us or neither of us and we couldn't make that decision on who got her. Nathan or myself was too greedy to want to back down and let the other have her. He wanted her and so did I. We both had kept our crush on Ryan a secret for a long time, but it was obvious to the both of us when our desired obsession started. The only problem was, she was still in high school at the time, but that night after prom, we both said out loud how much we truly wanted her.

"It happened on prom night Nat, before the deal was made. I had no idea how you felt about her or even that you felt how I did until after that night. I didn't break anything."

"Either way Nic, you fucking kissed her and didn't tell me," he says. He stands up and starts pacing the room up and down the kitchen. I don't blame him for being annoyed, if I was in his shoes I would of given him a black eye by now, but Nathan was always the calmer one. The rational one. I watch him continue to walk the length of the kitchen, running his hand through his hair, making it even more messier than normal. "Did you make that decision for us because you kissed her? For neither of us to have her?"

"No."

"Then why? Why can't we both have her? Or even ask her to choose?"

"Because whoever she chooses will kill the other one!" I say raising my voice.

Nathan didn't get it, for as long as I could remember he didn't get it. Ryan deserved a prince, a prince that would treat her like the princess she was and there was no doubt that either Nat or myself wouldn't be that prince for her because we would. Anything she wanted we would give it to her, anywhere she wanted to go we would take her there, any time of day if she wanted one of us I know we would be there. Only I wanted to be the Prince Charming to comfort and love her and so did Nathan. We are too desirous to let the other have her. And in some way we were both too greedy to share the one person we wanted most in the world.

"Both of us then? Why can't we both have her? We've been sharing women since high school Nic, why can't we share Ryan?" He says, pleading hands clasped together, begging for me to agree.

We've both been here before, having this discussion about Ryan and us both having her, but our biggest down fall would be one of us would get jealous of the other one, erupting into a massive disagreement between us. I didn't want that for Ryan. She deserved the whole world and having two men capable of jealously because she spent more time with the other was inevitable and the only person who would be hurting the most would be her. Sure I'd be upset if I lost her, never hearing her voice, seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, which is why I sure as hell didn't want to jeopardise her happiness for our selfish reasons.

"Because this is different, Ryan is different. This isn't some girl we've known for years and have casual threesomes with like Melanie or even a girl we've picked up in a bar. It isn't just about sex for us with Ryan, Nat. You know as well as I do that I want more and so do you."

"And we can't ask her? We know she knows about us, she saw us with Melanie, if we just expli-"

"NO NATHAN!" I say cutting him off, yelling at him at the top of my voice and using his full name, which I almost never do.

As I walk towards him he stands his ground not showing he's scared of me, but knowing both my brothers neither of them were. Even though I was stronger then them both and could easily take both of them on, injuring both of them at the same time, they never were afraid of me and my rage. They had seen me at my best and at my worse, knowing I loved them more than anything and that I would never hurt them like that. But it didn't stop me from showing them my anger. Fisting my hands into his t-shirt I shove him close to me, getting in his face and making sure he hears every word I say.

"Listen and listen good Nat. Ryan deserves everything, absolutely everything in this world and taking on a relationship with not one, but two men is not fair on us and especially not fair on her. Splitting her time between us would be too hard and there's always, always going to be someone who wants more," I shove him away from me, taking steps back as I watch him regain his balance. I point my finger in his direction, "we're not discussing this again Nathan, that's final. We agreed, it's either one of us or neither of us and we are both not willing to give her up to the other, your words, not mine."

"Nic, we cou-"

"I SAID NO NAT!" I yell, walking away from him and stalking upstairs. I walk into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me and kicking it. I hated to get angry, because when I did I couldn't calm myself down, but he pissed me off.

Nathan didn't get it. He was selfish to be even thinking that Ryan would be okay with not only sleeping with us both, but having a full on committed relationship with both of us. We've never had that kind of relationship with any women, it's only ever been sex. That's it. We've had short term relationships with girls and women we both thought could turn into something real and long lasting. Only Ryan always got in the way. Not physically, but inside our heads.
   Ever since that day I found her on the dock with a cut to her head and bruises all over her body I had thought about her. Not as just my friend but as something more, only back then I was too old for her and pushed my feelings aside, because that wasn't the first time. I had thought about her before that day, only that was the day I realised just how much I actually cared about her, how much I wanted her in my arms. I always thought she was beautiful, the most attractive girl I had ever seen and it was hard to admit that every girl I met was always compared to Ryan. She is the perfect girlfriend material because we got on so well and I always thought I'd be happy if I found a girl who was just like her. But I shot myself in the foot, because there was no girl out there for me who was like Ryan, she was one of a kind.
   That night when I walked her back to her door after our prom night we did for her I couldn't hold it in anymore. I wanted just one kiss, just one kiss to subside my thoughts about her and how I felt, only it made it worse. I have never wanted something or someone so bad in all my life, only I don't deserve her and I certainly don't want Nathan having her to himself either. That was why we made the pack. She was off limits if we couldn't decide who could make a move and she was never to be told about it either.
   Nathan needed to let it go. It's not fair on us to be in a three way relationship and it certainly wasn't fair on Ryan. I only hoped she'd one day get her Prince Charming, it was just unfortunate it wasn't going to be either of us, because we sure as hell would of been the perfect two Prince Charming's for her.

*word count - 2603*

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Finally! An update!!
So sorry it's late, I wanted this out to you ages ago but I had writers block for a chapter later on & I couldn't proof read this chapter until I tried to finish that one. It was bugging me but eventually I knuckled down & did the best I could, finally able to proof read this chapter.

This was a difficult chapter to write because it is the first time we get a real insight
to how Nicolas feels about Ryan. I tried to make it imitate in his feelings for her & I hope I did it right.

Please vote & comment if you liked this chapter.
Stay safe,
CeeCee
xoxo
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