16 January 2012
In life,many a time you fall short of words when you find yourself struggling between choice and necessity.  At times,you listen to your instincts and at times you listen to your heart,but one thing that remains as real as oxygen in this world is the world full of smiles that you imagine for yourself.

A world that inspires you to live,a life that inspires you to love,and a love that strengthens your life in this world.

♡♡♡

Minutes ticked by,long minutes,infinite minutes.  After waiting for a while,Omkara decided to take the stairs down and not wait for the elevator to make the urgent call. He quickly ran down the stairs. His eyes were tearing and he tried hiding it the best he could.

For Omkara, the sensation was a strange one.  The last time he had cried like that was when he had been dating Gauri for the first time after she accepted his proposal.

All at once,he brought his hands to stifle his tears. It was well after dark when Omkara reached the ground floor of Solitaire Corporate Park. He grew quiet. He trued calming down his heartbeats and considered how best to communicate what he meant to say .

He had called Gauri a couple of weeks ago. What ensured was a very upsetting conversation between the two and they both gave eacg other a whole lot of crap for not understanding the other.  As he stood there he decided to call her,then hesitated and disconnected the call. He called her again nervously.  He kept his phone infront of his eyes. There was no response from the other end before the screen finally turned green and the call duration timer started.

There was no reason for Omkara not to feel anxious and excited at the same time

"Hello",she said.

"How are you Gauri?" He said,but she couldn't hear what he was saying,his words were lost in the muffled roar of a bike's engine.

"Hello?" She repeated.

Omkara quickly ran further away and sat on a car. "How are you,Gauri?"

"Come to the point directly ", she said nonchalantly.

"I want to tell you something ", he said and smiled nervously.
He bit his lips and looked around to see if there was anyone.

"I listened to a lot of shit few days back, Omakara. Why call me now?"

Omkara remained quiet and waited for Gauri to continue.

"Tell me, what's so special today?" She added as she calmed down a bit.

"Well,today is special because I think I just found a good job",he said in a single breath.  He looked much more alive than he had in the past few days.

Silence.

They both stayed that way for a long time. Omkara checked his phone.

"Gauri? Are you there?"

"You sly dog", she said and laughed out loud in happiness.

And suddenly all the emotions she'd suppressed since she'd heard the news overwhelmed her all at once.  His face lit up as soon as he heard her laugh after so many days.

"With you sounding so happy after our argument that day, I wouldn't mind being called a dog,pig or any other animal in the world. Everything sounds so romantic to me now", He grinned.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure! Anything ", Omkara said eagerly.

"There's no one in my flat and I think we just managed to bring an end to our cold war with this amazing bit of newd. Wouldn't you like to come over and make up for our lost time? I am sitting in my hot pants and they're extremely short".

Omkara laughed,feeling his nervousness disperse. "It's one of those things that I never seem to have enough of anyway.  I have lived a miserable life without you in the last few days."

"You talk too much".

"I have to. I've got someone to impress tonight.  It's been two months since we met anyway".

Gauri chuckled.  "That's good to hear. Come soon. Bye."

He was thrilled by the time she hung up the phone.

Rather,Omkara felt ecstatic realizing with sudden clarity how much he had missed talking to her. And without saying another words he started his bike with a sidelong glance in the mirror.  There was this smike hiding his happy tears that finally welled up in his eyes. He was no longer a loser with a broken heart;he was the boy who never stopped trying. He had won again himself today.

27November 2011
There was a lull in the conversation as Omkara broke the news of him leaving his job.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" He said almost tentatively.

"It depends on the question,Omkara ", she answered trying her best to hide her anger.

"You don't need to be rude Gauri.  I'm simply speaking the truth and discussing my future plans ".

"Look,I am doing my best,okay?"

"Oh", Omkara said cocking an eyebrow in anger," I see. Sorry. I was just hallucinating your anger here," he added but he knew he had it coming after he had hidden the news for almost a month from her.

"That doesn't bother me-you wanting to be a writer ".

"Why do I get a feeling that you're trying to ride me and my life your way?" Omkara said.

"Considering the way you've been riding your own life lately,your mind has got some gas and that badly needs a support system to get the unnecessary air out of your thoughts to get back to normalcy.  Be glad of my minimal gesture ", she smrinked and said.

Omkara glanced away in ager towards the balcony again pretending to look at the chirping birds outside. "What's your stand when I am jobless and still deeply in love with you?"

"What do you mean?" She asked curiously.

"I mean I am trying my best to get some work of my choice.  But I can't give you any commitment about when I'll actually get it."

"Why would you like to do that in the first place,Omkara? And secondly if you've decided to do that,then you really wouldn't want to know my opinion ".

"Who leaves a well paying job like that?" She murmured to herself.

"Because my passion is some5else and what I was doing has nothing to do with it".

"Passion has little to do with reality,Omakar and your novel is anyway getting published next year. You're following your heart there,but you can't ignore the fact that writing doesn't pay one much in our country.  Instead of moping around uselessly for days, you need to get back to your job and that's final."

"How can you not care about my choice of career,Gauri?" He frowned,unable to understand why she was reacting like that.

"I don't know.  Maybe because you aren't caring enough about our relationship ", she said and shrugged.

"By that logic no jobless person has the right to be in a relationship.  It's ike you get jobless and here we kick your ass."

"Oh heavens no,''she said quickly. "Not now. I mean,I qill throw the first thing which comes in my hand at your head if you don't stop your illogical arguments.  I am in no mood. And you know what,I am leaving right now because I have a real job unlike you and I am not taking your calls till you get a real job for yourself again.  You just spoiled my birthday;thanks for the gift."

"Leave.  You're well satisfied with yourself.  Someone else's dream and happiness doesn't matter to you.  Go ahead and do whatever you want.  Remember I won't call you this time. Burn down with your ego,you richest of rich girls."

She didn't respond.  The words had startled both of them.  It wasn't the response he'd expected and Omkara felt himself stiffen slightly,thinking he had been a little too rude.  He thought he could have ended the conversation in a better way and he could've said a couple of sentences that meant nothing just to calm her down.  But as she left he said nothing.  Gauri just wrote something on a piece of paper and left it next to his Television.

"You said tonight was the night you were going to make special;well it was a shocker for me,Mr.Omkara. Thanks for running my birthday night. "

Omkara read it and tear escaped from his eyes.

It only took a minute for her to walk down four floors as he mumbly kept watching her till she disappeared from his sight.

A little while later,he went back to his own room and destroyed the beautiful collage he had made for Gauri.  It had taken him ten days and had ten different and special pictures of two of them. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep as he wrote something with shaking hands in anger for the next couple of minutes before he tore it in disgust and frustration-a practice hr followed to express his anger.  He went back to his bed and switched off the lights in disappointment.

How's is this?? Please do let me know!

Cover Credit: ImLilMissComplicated

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