I looked out the window and the light coming from the streetlights and nearby establishments started to illuminate the town under the starless night sky. I helped Mylene to finish packaging other baked goods to be picked up tomorrow before closing the shop. It's already 8 pm.

Pagkarating ko ng bahay ay saktong 9:00 pm. Bumili pa kasi ako ng mga school supplies na bilin ni Kio sa akin kagabi. Buti nalang at may bukas pa na store para pagbilhan ng mga iyon. Nadatnan kong tulog si Kio. I kissed his cheek tenderly and as much as I wanted to wake him up to hear his story, I couldn't bear to interrupt his deep peaceful sleep.

The next morning, maagang nagising si Kio at maaliwalas ang mukha niya habang kumakain ng agahan. He can eat by himself now. I trained him to do the basics at an early age. He's a fast learner, I know. My Kio is smart charming kid. I smiled and continued eating without taking my eyes off him.

"Saan ko po iiwan si Kio mamaya, Ate?" Maggie asked as she opened the backseat door. Pumasok na silang dalawa ni Kio.

I got into the driver's seat and flung my handbag onto the passenger's seat.

"Mags, iwan mo nalang si Kio mamaya kay Papa ha. Pupunta ako ng city ngayon kaya wala ako sa shop," then I started the engine.

"Okay, Ate," sagot ni Maggie.

I glanced at the rear view mirror and saw Kio scrunching his face as he sifted through the pages of his book.

I cleared my throat. "What's the matter, Kio?" Binalik ko ang tingin sa daan.

"Ano ba iyang hinahanap mo, Ki?"malambing tanong ni Maggie. I heard the flutter of the turning pages.

"I found pictures of you yesterday, Mommy, and inserted it in my book so I can show you last night but I fell asleep. I'm sorry, Mommy," malungkot na sabi ni Kio.

He said sorry when I should be the one saying that to him. Kung maaga sana akong umuwi ay naabutan ko pa sana siyang gising. I bit my lower lip to keep the guilt inside me.

"I'm sorry too, baby. Hindi kita naabutang gising," saglit ko siyang nilingon at tinuon muli ang tingin sa daan. "What's in the picture by the way?"

"Your hair is very short in those pictures, Mommy like mine. Very different now," diretsong sabi niya.

Napatawa ako. Gayundin si Maggie na patuloy sa pag-scan ng pages ng libro para hanapin ang tinutukoy na picture ni Kio.

"Oh, really? Did you--- I mean, which Mommy's look do you like better? Then or now?" I asked in between my laughter. Pinasadahan ko ng aking palad ang aking lampas balikat na buhok.

"No difference, Mommy. You're beautiful, Mommy, whatever your hair is," ani Kio.

Parang may kung anong humaplos sa puso ko sa sinabi niya. He's so honest in almost anything. Kio never fails to make my day.

I wanted so much to keep my past self from him. He's still confused why some people call me Zac when my name's actually Azalea Marie. Well, I just said it's a nickname of mine and people who calls someone by his nickname love that person a big time. Umpisa noon hindi na niya gustong tawagin ko siya na Jann Keillor because Kio will do, according to him.

"Another one, Mommy. There's a picture of you with a boy who looks just like me," may bahid ng pagtataka sa boses niya.

Tumikhim ako para itago ang paghuhurumentado ng dibdib ko.

"Hala!" sabad ni Maggie.

Napalitan ang saya ko ng kaba. He has seen the face of his father! I don't know which picture he was referring to. Pictures of Marcus and I are quite a lot, I guess.

I'm not sure how he had discovered those pictures, perhaps he stumbled upon a box where I kept them and Kio must have found it when he looked for his toys.

Natatandaan ko pa ang araw na niligpit ko ang lahat ng mga litrato na iyon noong kabataan ko. They're all memories of the past I want so much to forget and looking at those pictures only flooded my brain with a series of "What if?"

Is there a way to forget really? Do the mind and heart forget?

"You must have seen it wrong, baby," sabi ko na pinipilit pinapakalma ang boses ko.

"Okay, Mommy," I looked at the rear view mirror only to see him pout his lips in a sour surrender. "I guess, you're right. Mas gwapo po ako doon," he said without hesitation.

Napangiti ako sa sagot niya. He's too witty for a child but still innocent. Tila nabunutan ako ng tinik nang sinang-ayunan niya ang sinabi ko.

Oh, Kio, you really do look like your father if you only know!

"That's the spirit, Kio!" Maggie cheered, clapping her hands.

The drive going to school wasn't long. Medyo maaga pa naman. Marami kaming nakasabayang dumating doon. Naunang lumabas si Maggie bitbit ang bag ni Kio.

"We'll go to Alina later. Remember that, Mommy. Okay? You already promised." paalala ni Kio.

"Copy." Pinanggigilan ko ang kanyang magkabilang pisngi.

"Take care, Mommy," Kio smiled.

"You too, baby."

He kissed my check before stepping out of the car. Sumenyas ako kay Maggie na aalis na ako mula sa nakabukas na bintana ng driver's seat. Tumango siya. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ni Kio at iginiya papasok ng gate. Si Kio naman ay panay ang lingon sa akin habang kinakaway ang isang kamay. I smiled at the sight of him doing that sweet gesture.

I immediately left and went straight to the city to buy new baking tools to replace the old ones we have in the shop and other essential baking ingredients good for a month. May nagsu-supply naman ng mga kadalasan naming ginagamit pero ang iba doon ay kinakailangan pang bilhin sa siyudad. Oftentimes, I tag Mylene along when I go shopping goods in the city so it wouldn't take long. We're usually done at lunchtime. I just hope it wouldn't eat up so much of my time now since I'll be doing it alone. Hindi ko pwedeng isama si Mylene dahil walang magtatao ng shop kapag tatlo na kaming nasa labas. Si Joana ay nasa hospital pa rin at nagbabantay sa kanyang anak na naospital kamakailan. Silang dalawa lamang talaga ang inaasahan kong kasama sa munting negosyo ko.

Alas tres na ng hapon nang matapos kong bilhin lahat ng nasa lista ko. Iniwan ko ang lahat ng iyon sa sasakyan at bumalik ulit sa loob ng mall para maghanap ng makakainan for late lunch. I don't give a damn care what food to eat at this moment as long as it takes my hunger away. In the end, I settled in a fast food restaurant and just ordered what my eyes saw first. Fried chicken, kanin at creamy macaroni soup ang laman ng tray na bitbit ko habang naghahanap ng mauupuan.

Mangilan-ngilan lamang ang kumakain sa loob kaya nahagip agad ng mga mata ko ang seryosong mukha ni Hero habang sinusuyod ng tingin ang resibo. Hindi pa niya nagagalaw ang pagkain sa harapan niya. On the chair beside him are the large grocery bags filled with diapers, other baby stuff as obviously seen through from the outside. He must be surprised at how pricey all those things are when they are literally "baby" stuff.

"Why didn't you put them inside your car first?" ngumuso ako sa sa mga pinamili niya sa kanyang tabi.

Napaangat siya ng tingin sa akin at napatda nang makita ako. Ibinaba ko ang tray sa mesa niya at umupo sa harap niya.

"You alone?" he asked curiously then sipped on his juice.

"Yeah. Didn't you bring your car?" I began digging in.

"I accompanied Raul to meet the supplier this morning. Nandoon ang kotse sa kanya. May binili lang saglit at babalik din dito," kwento niya.

Nagtulungan na ang dalawang magkapatid sa pamamahala na kanilang negosyo. Construction supplies are quiet in demand kaya hindi talaga sila nalulugi sa napiling negosyo. Besides, magaling silang mag-handle ng negosyo kahit si Hero ay walang hilig sa ganoon. He learned to love it when he began handling it himself.

I chuckled. "Nagtitipid ka sa gas, ano? Kaya nakisakay ka kay Raul."

Nagkibit-balikat siya. "Mabuti nang magtipid, diba? Ang mahal kaya bumuo ng pamilya."

"But it's something money can't buy," I drawled.

"I couldn't agree more." He smiled.

I understand their situation right now. Hero helped in managing their family business after resigning from his job in Harrington Hotel. Nag-resign din si Lira sa trabaho niya at sabay na silang umuwi. With the prestigious university and work experience proudly flaunted in her resume, it didn't take her long to look for a job here.

The moment I found out I was carrying a little life until I gave birth to Kio, my whole life changed thereon. The process might be a bit scary but when you're there already, all you would care is the welfare of the child and that's inspiring enough to make you go on and continue gaining victories every step of the way.

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Paano mo nakaya ang lahat ng 'yon na ikaw lang mag-isa?"

I began stirring my juice with the straw without looking at him. "I wasn't alone, Hero. Naandyan naman si Papa at kayong mga kaibigan ko na tumulong sa akin. I can get through this," mahinang sabi ko.

"Tumatanda na ang Papa mo at nagsisimula nang bumuo ng pamilya ang mga kaibigan mo," pakli niya.

Napabuntong-hininga na lamang ako at tumuwid sa pagkakaupo. "Kakayanin ko, Hero," giit ko. I know where this conversation is leading to.

"Would it hurt to tell us about him?" wala sa sariling sambit niya.

I was right. He would raise this topic when he gets the chance, actually silang tatlo ni Lira at Hope. But they have never succeeded in their attempt to fish out information from me so they could reach out to him and reveal my son whatever motive they have in doing that while I'm eager to keep everything about Kio's father all to myself.

On top of that, I don't even know where the hell he is! After the reunion, I didn't hear anything about that man. Siguro ay bumalik na ito sa kanyang pamilya.

Hindi ko kinibo si Hero. I was adamant to keep mum about it.

"Are you going home after this?" tanong niya na nagpaangat ng ulo ko.

"May bibilhin lang ako saglit tapos susunduin ko si Kio sa bahay at diretso na kami sa inyo," I replied.

"Okay. I should get going now." Napakamot siya ng ulo. "Tutulungan ko pa kasi Lira sa bahay. Kanina pa tawag nang tawag sa akin kung pauwi na ba ko. Dito na rin kasi si Raul kaya mauuna na ako ha."

"No worries. Go ahead," natatawang taboy ko sa kanya.

Mabilis kong tinungo ang Toy Section para bumili ng laruang dinosaurs. Ito ang habilin ni Kio na bilhin ko na ireregalo kay Alina.

Of course. Kio believes there's nothing wrong about a girl playing dinosaurs. Sa susunod nalang daw ang dolls kapag kilala na ni Alina ang lahat ng dinosaurs.

My phone rang and it was Papa.

I immediately picked up. "Hello, Pa!"

"Hi, Mommy." I heard Kio's voice on the other line.

"Oh, why, baby? May binili lang ako saglit pero pauwi na din ako. I have the dinosaurs already you told me about for baby Alina," I said, searching my car keys inside my clutch.

I heard him cheer. "Mommy, take a picture of me and Alina together with dinosaurs, please" malambing na pakiusap ni Kio.

I smiled. "Sure, baby."

"Bye, Mommy. I love you."

Oh my God. Bakit sobrang lambing ng anak ko? Ang swerte ko naman. I can feel my heart melting when he is being too sweet.

"I love you too. Wait for me. I'll be there soon."

The call ended. I jammed the phone inside my clutch. I went to my car when I reached the parking area. Isang oras at kalahati ang haba ng biyahe pero kung dadaan ng shortcut ay magiging 45 minutes nalang. Naalala ko si Kio na naghihintay sa bahay kaya tinahak ko ang ibang daan nang nadaanan ko ang unang bayan. Tinandaan ko lang ang ang mga dinaanan namin noong ginawa din ito ni Billy para maiuwi kami agad ni Hope. Totoo nga dahil hindi nga kami natagalan at nakarating agad sa shop ng araw na iyon. Paano kasi ay walang kasabay na sasakyan na dumadaan doon at baku-bako ang kalsada.

Wala rin halos makikitang kabahayan. Kung meron man ay malayo din mula sa kalsada. Parang isang maliit na box lamang ito kung titingnan sa malayo.

How did Billy find out this way? At bakit ko ba siya ginaya? Kitang-kita naman na hirap na hirap ako sa pag-drive kapag ganito naman kasalimuot ang daan. Umulan pala sa lugar na ito kaya naman may parteng maputik. Gusto ko nalang umiyak. Napasubo na ako at wala ng atrasan pa kaya tinuloy ko nalang ang pagmamaneho hanggang sa bumagsak ang malakas na ulan at unti-unting nagdilim ng buong paligid kahit hindi pa naman gabi.

I drove through deep puddles, small and large ones. I was too eager to reach home. That's all I had in mind. Naihampas ko ang kamay sa steering wheel nang tumirik ang sasakyan ko. I tried starting the engine countless times, but it never came back to life. How can it happen at this hour? I badly needed to go home.

I reached for my phone and searched for Papa's number or anyone I can call for help. But my phone can't catch signal. I restarted the device and did troubleshooting but still cannot get through. Naihagis ko ang cellphone sa sobrang inis. Can it get any worse?

Sa huli, wala din akong nagawa kundi ang pulutin ulit ang cellphone at nagdesisyong lumabas para maghanap ng signal o makahingi ng tulong sa kung sinuman ang makakasalubong ko.

Lakad. Hinto. Lakad. Hinto.

Walang signal.

Basa na ako ng ulan kahit may dala akong payong. Ang lakas ng hanging sumisipol. Hindi ko naman narinig ang balita kung may bagyo ba. The weather this morning was just fine so I really did not see it coming. The place was getting pitch dark.

Sa sobrang dilim ay parang ayokong iwan ang sasakyan. Ngunit kailangan kong makahanap ng signal at matawagan si Papa na mahuhuli ako ng dating. Hindi ko alam ang pagmemekaniko ng sasakyan kaya hihingi na rin ako ng tulong sa kung sinong pwedeng umayos nito. Ang sarap dispatsahin. Kung kalian nagmamadali, doon pa mag-iinarte. Makabili nga ng bago.

Naglakad nalang ako ng ilang metro at naghanap ng medyo maburol na parte ng lugar. Wala ba talagang bahay malapit dito? Walang mahihingan ng tulong kapag ganitong nastranded lalo na sa gabi. Aminado naman akong kasalan ko bakit ko pa kasi piniling dumaan dito kahit hindi ko naman kabisado ang daan. O baka naman naengkanto ako? Naramdaman ko ang pagtayuan ng balahibo ko at pangangapal ng anit ko sa sobrang takot. Naiyakap ko ang mga kamay sa sarili habang nakatayo malapit sa malaking puno.

My phone beeped twice. I received messages coming from Lira and the other one from Papa.

Papa:

Saan kana?

I immediately called him. The call went through.

"Pa, tumirik ang sasakyan ko," mangiyak-ngiyak na sabi ko. My lips quivered from cold.

"Ha? Nasaan ka ngayon?" tanong ni Papa.

"Nandito ako ngayon, Pa sa ano parang shortcut yata to." Saan ba ito? I need to check my google map first.

"Siguraduhin mo. Ipapasundo kita diyan."

"Tawagan kita ulit, Pa. May titingnan lang ako sag-," hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil tumunog ang cellphone ko.

Ayun, namatay. In-on ko ulit pero hindi na nabuhay pa ang walanghiyang cellphone. Makikita niya talaga at papalitan ko na siya ng bago kapag naligtas ako dito.

Paano na ko makakahingi ng tulong nito kung hindi na ako makakatawag? Wala yatang planong tumigil ang ulan. Ang tanging magagawa ko na lamang ay manatili sa loob ng sasakyan at mahintay ng susunod na umaga.

Di ko napigilang humikbi kahit walang luha. Nakakababa ng self-esteem. Minsan lang naman ako mangahas sa mga bagay-bagay, pumalkpak pa.

I leaned my back against the tree while squatting. Hihintayin ko na lamang na humina ang ulan bago bumalik sa kotse. At isa pa, tinatanya ko pa ang lalakaran ko pabalik dahil wala na ang ilaw galing sa cellphone ko. I whistled to make me feel that there's nothing to fear in this place and everything will be fine. But, when I listened to the sound the rain was making, it feels like forever.

Isinubsob ko ang mukha sa aking mga tuhod. I remember Kio and his persistence to see Alina today. I sighed deeply and raised my head only to see someone standing in front of me.

It was the first time I screamed so hard since I gave birth to Kio.

Noong nanganak ako, expected iyon.

Ngayon, hindi.

Even the calmest person you know might be sent to death when he encounters like this one. Nailiyad ko ang aking katawan. Mabuti na lamang at naitukod ko patalikod ang dalawang palad ko sa lupa kaya hindi ako tuluyang natumba.

The man was just standing still holding an umbrella in his left hand and a cellphone in his right. The light coming from the screen illuminates his face in a creepy way. At bigla lamang itong sumulpot nang hindi ko namamalayan dahil hindi man lamang ito lumikha ng kaluskos o anumang ingay. Sa lakas ng tibok ng puso ko at panginginig ng buong katawan, parang tinakasan ako ng dugo pati ng katinuan. Tumayo ako at itinutok ang payong sa kanya.

"S-sino ka?" tarantang sigaw ko habang humihikbi sa sobrang takot.

Wala akong narinig na sagot. May kinuha ito sa bulsa ng coat niya at pinailaw. May dala pala itong flashlight. Itinutok nito sa akin ang ilaw kaya naiharang ko ang aking kamay para hindi masilawan.

"Ikaw? Sino ka? Bakit ka nandito?" rinig kong sabi niya. Binaba nito ang flashlight.

Nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin siya at itinaas ang payong na pinangtutok ko. Mukha namang mabait. He was wearing a coat and a cap. Tila pamilyar sa akin ang boses. I gaped in utter shock when I recognized him.

"M-Marcus?"

A/N

I can't seem to focus on anything I do these days because I keep thinking about AoT Chapter 139. Am I the only feeling anxious about the ending? Of course, I want Eren and Mikasa to be together until the end. But, Isayama might hurt my feelings. I need to wait, maybe a month, until my adrenaline wears off so I can go back to my old self again. Charot. Drama lang. Hahaha. Sher ko lang.