It was Wednesday and Cierra was driving to Emma's house.

Her friends were getting together just for a casual hangout, and Emma roped her into it. She did want to talk to Emma, so she figured she could come for an hour or two and then dip, since she wasn't feeling the most social tonight.

Luke couldn't come, which made him very upset. Cierra had called him earlier to see if he wanted to join her. That was their new form of communicating when they weren't with each other - calling. They had scrapped texting almost entirely and only called each other now, even if it was for the most minuscule things.

"Aghh," Luke said when she had asked him to come. She could almost imagine him pulling at his hair, which he did when he was frustrated. "I'm sorry, I have a huge psych exam tomorrow. And you know how much I suck at psych."

He did suck at psych. So although she thought this hangout would be better with Luke there, she knew it was for the best, on his side of things at least. And she didn't have to be nervous about the inevitable Matt and Luke interaction she was dreading.

She had parked outside Emma's house when she got a call from her. She thought it was odd, so she picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" Cierra said, in a more questioning tone than usual.

"I'm in the bathroom," Em said, in a hushed tone. "When are you getting here?"

"Okay?" Cierra said, still confused. "I'm parked outside your house."

"I don't want anyone to overhear me," She explained. "Don't come in yet. It's Matt."

"Great," Cierra said, which was usually her response when it came to Matt-related things. "What did he do?"

"Well..." Emma sounded hesitant like she was unsure whether she should be telling Cierra. "He's been saying some... stuff about Luke."

"Luke?" Cierra was really confused now. "What could he possibly say about Luke?"

"Well, I guess he saw your Instagram post. He says he has friends who know Luke, he called him 'a real dick.'"

Cierra had posted on her Instagram earlier that day. It was one of the photo dump types, which was pretty typical for her Instagram. Since so much of her life surrounded Luke these days, of course, there was a picture included for him. Nothing crazy. Just a picture of them in the mirror. They weren't even standing close to each other. No one could suspect anything from it.

"I think that's bullshit," Cierra said, but she felt a pain in her chest.

"So do I," Emma agreed. "I mean, you know him better than anyone else, I think. Better than whoever these friends who supposedly know Luke do."

Cierra chewed on her lip. She didn't know what to say. Sure, she felt like she knew Luke. But now she was questioning it. How much can she really know him in only a month?

And even if Luke was a dick - like Matt had suggested - he was never one to Cierra. Ever. He treated her like a princess. She couldn't imagine him behaving any other way with other people, either. And she had seen him interacting with his friends. It was the same Luke she knew.

But now she was just overthinking everything. She knew Matt was probably just behaving out of some weird jealousy, but it didn't make it sting any less.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have told you," Em said, sighing. "He's probably lying anyway. I just thought you should know. In case he says something when you're here."

"No, I'm glad you told me..." Cierra replied. One thing she knew for certain: she was never telling Luke this. She felt like it would break his heart.

As she walked up to the house, she took a deep breath. Luke is not a dick to you. That's all that matters.

The rest of the night was a blur. Cierra talked to Em, which is what she wanted to do anyway. And she ignored Matt. Another thing she wanted to do.

Luke called her, later in the night, which she picked up. "Hi," She said, smiling, walking into another room so she could talk to him.

"Hi, C," Luke said, sounding almost relieved to hear her speak. "I needed a break from studying. Just wanted to hear your voice."

"Here's my voice," Cierra responded, blushing a bit and looking at her shoes.

They talked for a little bit more, and then Luke insisted she get back to her friends. When Cierra got back to the couch, Matt was sitting right next to where she was before. Great, Cierra thought. The only word for Matt-related things.

"Was that Luke?" He asked. Ugh, she thought. She hated that Matt knew Luke's name now. She would have even preferred him calling Luke her boyfriend instead.

"Yup," Cierra responded, choosing to not look at him. She could see Emma in her peripheral trying to figure out how to put a stop to this if she could manage.

"You can do better, you know," Matt said. His arm was on the back of the couch now, and his hand was close enough that it was grazing her shoulder.

Cierra couldn't believe that had come out of his mouth. "That's rich coming from you," she scoffed.

She stood up and went to the kitchen. And chugged a glass of water. And another one.

Emma followed her a minute later. "What the fuck?" She said, "Did he say what I thought he said?"

"Yeah," Cierra said. "I'm gonna leave."

"Cierra," Em said, "Don't listen to him, okay? Please don't get in your head." She grabbed Cierra's shoulders. "Nothing he says can change how special Luke is to you. Nothing."

It was in moments like these she really loved Emma. Even though she teased Cierra about Luke, Emma knew exactly what he meant to her. And she understood the strange inner workings of Cierra's brain.

Cierra didn't cry in the car like she thought she might. She was just so angry. At Matt for saying these things about Luke. At her stupid brain for wanting to believe them.

She wanted to let her guard down about Luke. That's all she wanted. She wanted to be a girl who could kiss him and say she wanted to date him and not be terrified by any of that.

But she wasn't that girl. She didn't know how to become that girl.

And now she felt like, more than ever, her guard was up. What if Luke really was a dick? Is that how he treated the girls he had been with before, the flings with no label? It made her sick to think about. But mostly she felt awful for thinking of Luke this way when he had given her no reason to assume such of him.

Every possible scenario played in her head on the short drive back to her house. It was miserable. This was how her brain was wired, and she had been living with it for the past seventeen years, but it was more exhausting than ever tonight.

When she woke up the next morning she felt like she was hungover although she didn't drink anything.

And then, finally, at school, she finally got a notification she hadn't gotten in weeks. A text from Vicky. She had to hold back screaming in class. She frantically went to the bathroom so she could hide and text her back.

When she left school, she ran to her car so she could get home as fast as possible to see Vicky. It was freezing, way colder than it had been in the morning when she left, and thankfully Luke's hoodie he let her keep was in the backseat of her car. It still smelled like him. Cologne and mint.

She decided to call him on the drive home. As soon as she heard his voice on the other end of the phone, she felt right again. Like all of the Matt shit last night didn't even happen. "Cierra, hi," Luke said. She could hear his smile.

"Hi," Cierra replied, holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder while she drove. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"Vicky's home."

"AHHH," Luke practically screamed into the phone. "I'm so happy for you. Wow. Oh my God. I can't wait to meet her."

"I know," Cierra responded, "I'm going to see her right now. And then I have hella French homework to do. And I think I have to watch Eva. But can I see you tomorrow?"

"Silly question," Luke responded. "I was already planning to be there."

When Cierra got to Vicky's house, she ran down the stairs to her room to squeeze her. She cried. She felt like everything in her life was right again. She felt complete.

And Calum was there, to Cierra's surprise, and he was just as Luke described him. She was so happy for the two of them; they seemed like such a happy couple. She tried not to think too hard about how that could be her and Luke, too, if she wasn't such a wimp.

Cierra talked to the pair for a little bit before wanting them to have their time alone, since, you know, it was the first time they had spent out of the hospital together.

And then Friday came along and Luke was in her kitchen again, embracing her as soon as he saw her. His face nuzzled into her neck, which was her favorite place he could be.

Every fear in her brain was washed away when she was with Luke. She tucked everything from the past few days into her subconscious, just wanting to forget it all.

It'd sneak back up on her later, but she didn't have any way of knowing that now.

x x x x x

This is literally just a cierra character study lmao (first chap with no luke POV!)

I promise this is important to the story, you'll see