You were really hard to figure out, Parker. I found it really easy to open up to you, and every time we ended our conversation, I felt like I knew a lot about you, too.

And maybe I did, but that was beside the point.

Many people would say that your flaws would be almost too much for them to bear - how you can embarrass or hurt a person's feelings with a few choice words, how reckless - I mean, straightforward - you can sometimes get, how you nonchalantly speak of disobeying your elders just because, how you view the world as a pessimistic sadist.

But for me, all these flaws of yours, whether they can be considered a petty sin or just downright wrong, somehow come to me as deadly but endearing, and that frightens me. I'm usually a very judgmental person, but you... what you can do to me is terrifying.

I'll say it right here, Parker. Though I reply to your I love you with an equally warm-hearted I love you too, somewhere deep inside of me, I doubt if I really do love you. Yes, only you can make me feel this way - so emotional and so messed-up inside that I feel like I may explode, and yes, you're the only one I keep dreaming of every night in my dreams. Suffice to say, yes, I am indeed falling for you.

But I feel like there is something holding me back, and since I know I can't say it to your face, then at least let me say it here - if I fall, would you catch me? If I were to completely drown in you, would you help me breathe again and assure me that you'll always be there to be my lifeguard? Would you stay with me, no matter how emotional, messed-up, or idiotic I am?

You once mentioned that I didn't deserve to be a valedictorian. That hurt a bit (okay, a lot, since God only knows just how many hours I put in studying just to acquire that demented position), but I also wanted to say thank you.

You know, you hurt me a lot more than you'd care to notice. But I could also say thank you for them. Believe it or not, you're helping me become stronger, bit by bit. Slowly, I am becoming used to your snarky remarks, and in the process, am becoming stronger and stronger as well.

So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, and Parker? If you manage to read this, please don't message me saying that you're sorry. You're already forgiven.

When have I not forgiven you?