Ammarah's POV

In the stars- Benson Boone

Life was back to the hospital. We have formed a routine slightly different and much better than the one before our marriage. We read books, pray, eat and watch the movies together. The hospital was slowly moping into home.

I kept the book I was reading and walked to the fridge. Grabbed a bottle of water then came back to sit before noticing Rayyan's gaze.

"You're not asleep" I said sitting down and he nodded

"The other day at the mosque, the scholar said something that intrigued me"

Rayyan said and I turned my head to one side and watched him "What?

"He was talking about how you can or will love someone for the day sake of Allah. He said if you love somebody for the sake of Allah, Allah makes it easy for you to love them" Rayyan paused and look at me "Allah made it easy for me to love you"

I smiled and reached for his hands

He removed his gaze from mine and looked out at the window "Sometimes I stay up wondering how you're still here Ammarah, how you're still stuck with me. When I am probably the hardest person to love"

I quickly shook my head "Rayyan, no. you're--"

Rayyan raised a hand too stop me "Please, I need to say this"

I kept quiet and looked at him.

"I saw you first and then walked up to you. If I didn't, you wouldn't have known me. If I didn't keep coming back to that shop or indulged you in art, you wouldn't have gotten used to me. I knew I was ill, I knew whoever I love I'll end up leaving them. And that was okay because I'll do the leaving but I didn't stop to think about you. Do you know how selfish that is Ammarah"

I regarded Rayyan watching as he pours everything in him.

"There's a low chance of me surviving this. I have  already exceeded the six months the doctors had hopes of me recovering. After this...what then?

There was silence for so long as I continued staring at him and then he said "All these. Helping me get treatment, being here with me, tolerating my moods and depressive issues. When I'm not here anymore, what then? All that you did, what for?

I took a deep breath and let go of his hand turning my head to look at the window. A minute passed or two before I turned "If I was lying on that bed and you are sitting on this chair, what then?

Rayyan furrowed his brows before realisation dawned on him and I smiled "You didn't start this, it was always written. We'll meet, I'll love and you'll fall ill.  And at this moment, neither you nor I knows what comes next"

I gripped his hands in assurance "We are living through moments and uncertainty Rayyan and these moments might be hard, but loving you is not. When you love someone for the sake of Allah, Allah makes it easy for you to love them"

I stood up, leaned down and pecked his cheeks then said "Would you like some tea?

Rayyan nodded and I turned on the television then logged into Netflix "We are watching our favourite show and don't even groan in pretence. I know you love it" I said as I walk to get the cups and flask.

Rayyan laughed "No I don't love the show, I love you"

I shrugged "Same thing Sir"

I came back with the cups, handed him his and adjusted his pillow. Then we settled in and watched Emily in Paris with Rayyan enjoying it even more than I do.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

I walked into the room with Rayyan's drugs that I just purchased and saw Sadiq walking up to me. The moment he reached me, his perfume wafted pass my nose and a bile came up. I took a step back, smashing my lips together and taking deep breaths. Few seconds later, the bile was gone but my head was slightly aching.

"Are you okay? Sadiq asked with a worried face

I nodded "Your perfume is bad" I said walking pass him while holding my breathe

He gasped "This is a very expensive Hermes perfume maam"

I shrugged "Still bad"

I kept the drugs on the desk and then came to sit next to Binta after looking at Rayyan's sleeping figure.

"Idris and Ismail just left"Binta said

I groaned "I missed them again. We haven't met again since after the nikkah"

She nodded "They'll be back later in the evening. They want to talk to the doctor"

I furrowed my brows "Is everything okay?

Binta was quiet for some fleeting seconds then she said "Yes. Of course everything is fine"

Then she stood up and left the room without meeting my eyes. I looked at Sadiq who shrugged and then settled my eyes again on Rayyan as he sleeps.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

On the first day it rained, the curtains swayed back and forth almost in tune with the sway of the trees. Rain danced down the window glass and a little dew formed on the window.

I just came back from the mosque after dropping by the only tuck shop in the hospital and got us tea. I walked into the room and kept the tea bag then removed my hijab. Rayyan was watching a movie and when he noticed me, he smiled broadly.

"Hey you" I said leaning down to peck his forehead. It was warm, warmer than usual . Almost at a fever level

I placed my palm on his forehead and looked down at him "Are you okay?

He kept smiling and removed my hand from his forehead bringing it to his lips. Then dragged me to sit next to him on the bed.

"What? I asked laughing "Someone missed me?

He nodded and cuddled me in, right next to him with my head on his chest. I laid carefully not fulling placing my head down, afraid I'll hurt him but he pushed it down.

"Lay down Ammarah" He said and I laughed then hesitantly laid it down. After a few minutes, I fully relaxed and held him a little bit tighter.

"Are you okay? I whispered

"Yes" He replied also in a whisper above my head

"I brought us tea"

"It can wait" He said and I closed my eyes in agreement.

"How was the mosque?" Rayyan asked

I laughed at how weird of a question that is but replied nonetheless "It was good as always. I prayed for you, for us"

He hummed and held my fingers "You have very fine hands"

"If we weren't married, I would have joked you put a ring on it" I said with a laugh

"If we weren't married, i would never have lived a fulfilled life" He replied

"Now you're a fulfilled man? I asked playfully

"Yes. A very fulfilled and happy man" He replied then held my hands a bit tighter.

The rain kept drizzling, the wind kept playing and the curtains kept dancing to the tunes. Nature felt peaceful, we felt peaceful.

And for a moment, we also danced with the curtains, the wind and the rain.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Rayyan's last days at the hospital was days filled with memories, laughter and mostly peace.

People in the hospital come in to greet him, the doctors and nurses bring in snacks sometimes and we sit to eat and laugh.

The hospital mosque organized a committee that came in to greet and pray for him. Rayyan blamed me for his popularity.

The last days Rayyan spent at the hospital were a bit sunnier. The wind was a bit crispier. The sun hang in the sky, the clouds move as slowly and as bright. The sky spread beautifully, added some shades to its color. The birds flew by every evening an accommodation of the different shades of the sunset.

Rayyan dropped pieces of himself in the hospital. In his room, the doctors, nurses, other patients, the mosque, tuck shop. They remembered him as the calm and kind young artist.

He dropped pieces of himself in his family.

In him, in me, in us.