Wonder- Shawn mendes

We walked into the royal themed living room. A huge portrait of a dark and chubby man together with a young and fair woman hung on the wall directly opposite the door. Gold and white striped wallpapers covered the concrete walls and also being shield by huge and thick brown curtains. The chairs sat tall, each with a pointed back tip and rounded foots.

As we walked further, Rayyan walked to a hallway and minutes later, the young woman in the portrait came out and gasped

"Ammarah!

Both she and Rayyan paused as she said that. And in an apologetic glance to Rayyan, she turned to me with her initial excitement.

"Ohh is so nice to meet you"

She pulled me into a hug patting my back slightly and then keeping me at arm length to observe me "You're so pretty"

"Thank you" I smiled "You're also beautiful, and so is your home"

She waved a dismissal hand "God works miracle for his servants. I never thought I could visit a house like this, and here I am living in it"

I realized how she's a trophy wife and absolutely living her best life so I nodded "You're absolutely living the life"

I let her absorb the compliment and then she smiled before ushering us into the living room.

"I didn't know you were coming" She said as we sat down

"It was a last minute thought" Rayyan replied

"I'm talking about Ammarah. I don't care if you drop by from work or not"

She turned her ahead in the direction of a room and called out before shouting "Bring them something"

She turned to me and smiled "I'm his elder sister Binta and you must be Ammarah"

I nodded "Nice to meet you Binta"

"I heard so much about you and I'm not even going to pretend I didn't. Rayyan talks about you and how you love his painting"

I nodded amused at Rayyan's embarrassment "I do. He paints beautifully"

She smiled and we fell into a conversation. Minutes later, she called us to eat lunch and we sat at the yet again golden table. When we finished, we went back to the living room.

"Do you have any kids? I asked after we prayed zuhr

She nodded "Three and my dear, it's not funny"

I laughed "You love them a lot?

She looked at me and nodded "Of course I do. It sometimes gets exhausting but it is also satisfying. Watching a human grow, a human that was once in you"

"That must be wonderful"

"That doesn't mean it isn't scary. I breath a sigh of relief every time they leave to school"

We all laughed and she shook her head addressing Rayyan "Remember the time you and Sadiq play with water under the tap and when caught, you run out of the house until it's Maghreb"

Rayyan groaned and shook his head while Binta laughed and turned to me "They thought they will escape only to meet the punishment of two things. Playing with water and running"

"Our mom used to whip them while they cried and yet they prefer that to my dad's scolding" She laughed again while I joined her trying to imagine a young notorious Rayyan. A Rayyan who wasn't calm or soft or patient or kind. A Rayyan who didn't know he would be an almajiri or school or own a spice shop or be an artist. A Rayyan who didn't know his life or what is ahead and still doesn't care. Made me think if I also had that childhood?

"I will I had siblings, or memories or even a childhood" I blurted out as they all turned to me

"You're the only child? Binta asked

"Yes, well no. I honestly don't know"

She furrowed her brows

"I just found out the people I thought are my parent, aren't really my parent"

She sucked in a deep breath and looked over to Rayyan.

"I desperately now want to know if I had a childhood or memories but nothing comes up. I don't even know when or how they took me. The only thing I know is I wasn't adopted and they in fact know my parent"

I met their eyes "And I wasn't given away because the letter said my real parent still mourn"

"What letter? Rayyan questioned

"The letter my dad wrote for me. The one that spilled everything"

"Did you talk to your parent? Binta asked

I shook my head tightly "My dad is late and my mom won't talk"

"Nothing? Rayyan questioned

I nodded "nothing beyond what the letter says"

There was a minute of silence and then my voice broke "I wish I knew them or met them. What if things were different? Everything feels so surreal"

"Ohh Ammarah" Binta exclaimed coming to hug me "It will be fine insha Allah"

"I'll help you find them" Rayyan said and our heads jerked forward in surprise

"What? Binta asked

"I'll help Ammarah find her parent"

I released myself from Binta's hug and looked at him "how?

He shrugged "But I will. This is a promise Ammarah"

Binta nodded and gently turned to me "There are no hints on the letter?

I shook my head "Except that my father knows there are my baby pictures in their hall way which means he knows them"

"Or is even close to them" Rayyan added

"And your mother isn't saying anything?

"Nothing"

Binta sighed "Maybe you're going through it the wrong way. Talk to her without bringing up the topic of who your real parent are"

I furrowed my brows "Then what do I say?

"Ask her what happened, how and why they took you. She'll definitely give you an information you'll work on"

Rayyan nodded "Talk to her. Communicate"

I took a deep breath and looked at the siblings. How do I tell them I don't know how to have a conversation or communicate with my mother? How do I sit and try to have a deep talk with her?

"Who gave you the letter? Rayyan asked

"Dr Yahya"

"Talk to him"

I nodded realizing how I skipped that important part. He must have known something to give the letter.

"I'll call him immediately I'm home"

Our conversation later shifted to random things until it was almost asr and I decided to leave. I hugged Binta and we exchanged numbers before Rayyan escorted me out.

"Thank you Rayyan. You have no idea how much this means to me"

Rayyan smiled "You have no idea what you've done Ammarah"

I raised a brow "What have I done"

He smiled again and swayed a bit "I better go back in, the weather is harsh"

"Are you okay? I questioned noticing his tired posture

He nodded and swayed again and struggled to smile

"Are you sure you're okay Rayyan? I asked now completely worried

"Of course I am. It's just the Sun and stress. I don't normally walk in such harsh weather"

I'm sure he saw the questioning on my face and shook his head "It's nothing really, just a migraine"

I nodded and stepped back "Okay then. Can I have your number"

He collected my phone, punched the numbers and handed it back "Call me when you're home"

I nodded

"Talk to the doctor and your mom"

I nodded again

"And take care"

This time, I smiled and mouthed "You too" before turning and walking to the street.

I hailed a taxi, got into the backseat and watched as Rayyan stood there leaning against the wall with his hands in his pocket and his eyes on me until we are no longer in sight.

I took a deep breath and watched the trees and tricycles that swarm and drove around. How did I get here? How did I move from having a boring and mundane life to a life filled with series of memories and questions?

Sometime so much changes in our lives and we don't realize them until we have a moment of recognization.

Where we realize how much has change, how much we have grown, how much we've broken, how much life hurts and memories form.

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