"She—I'll kill her, I swear I'll kill her!"

My voice has raised drastically; I'm so furious right now.

"I don't wanna make any more trouble; I don't wanna face her until September, when the trial goes on. I'm not seeing her face again," Michael mutters dejectedly.

I comfort him, trying so hard to place my anger to one side, and think about how Michael must be feeling.

"And we won't see her, I promise," I say.

Emma comes closer to us; Mark is already the other side of Michael.

"Man, I'm so sorry,"Emma whispers. "That Janine is ... something that I am too nice to say."

I look Emma's way. "Maybe you should go, so me and Michael can have some time on our own. Thanks for coming with me today, and congratulations on everything with you, Mark and the baby. I love you, Emma."

"Thanks, Cozzy ... I love you too – my very best friend."

We hug tightly, then Mark flashes a sympathetic smile at me and Michael, before they both leave. I sit by Michael at the table, his head is buried underneath his arms and black curls again.

"Michael, sweetheart ... please speak to me ... " I whisper.

It's just possible to hear his muffled cries. I feel terrible for him.

"Michael ... "

"She killed my child, and a part of me!" I hear him cry faintly. Then I hear the sound of his pure sobs; his mental agony. God, I hate seeing Michael this way.

"Michael ... I'm so sorry ... Why did she do it?" I try to bring the conversation to a more calm subject. I need answers.

"She ... she said ... " He lifts his head; all I can see are his bloodshot eyes and red cheeks. "She said she couldn't take the idea of having a child in prison ... and she thought I was lying about adopting her when she was born!"

"Wait ... her? It was a girl?"

This makes Michael cry even more. "She killed my little girl!"

"I'll kill her, Michael. I will literally kill her! She doesn't deserve life on this planet! I will literally murder her!" My anger returns once again, causing Michael to lean back a little in fear.

"Just leave her be ... let her be lonely ... without a child to love; without a family to love; and without a life to lead. Cameron said he's disowning her as his sister, because she's hurt that many of us," Michael explains.

"And I don't blame him, either. If he's really done that, I'm happy to be friends with him. And he's dating Tati, she's being very helpful for us, in this trial crap, don't you think?" I ask.

Michael nods, tears still in his eyes and sliding down his cheeks. "Yes."

I embrace him and kiss his forehead. I can only really reach his forehead when I'm sat down, because I only come to his chest, normally.

"I'll make sure everything's alright, y'know," I whisper.

I feel Michael nod against me. "Thanks baby."

"But I want this trial to come now; I wanna see the back of her when she goes down forever," I add.

"And she will. What she's done will come back to haunt her. She's already realised what she did to me and the boys, but killing my child as well? No. She's gonna pay for everything she's done, the hard way." Michael's sadness is fading, his anger coming out more now.

"Yes, Michael, she's gonna pay. Hard." The doorbell then rings. "I'll go," I say, letting go of Michael and lifting Ryder from his bouncer. "Here, let Ryder comfort you for a moment – at least you have him."

"Yes, I know. Thank you sweetheart. I love you," Michael says softly.

"And I love you, too."

I kiss his lips before heading to the door. The doorbell goes again, over and over.

"Alright, I'm coming!" I laugh, before opening the door.

Oh.

"Becky ... "

"Get out of my sight. I don't wanna see your face here!"

I go to slam the door in Janine's face; how dare she come here after what she's just done!

"Wait!" Janine stops me closing the door all the way, by placing her foot between the gap in the ajar door.

I open it for a brief second. "You've got thirty seconds, then I'm gone."

"I wanna tell Michael how sorry I am for getting rid of the baby ... " she starts.

"Obviously not sorry enough to not do it," I retort angrily, starting to close the door again.

"Wait! Let me speak to Michael, please!"

"No! Can you hear that crying in there? That's Ryder, our son. A child; an innocent child that deserved life. Notice how we weren't cruel enough to kill him, hmm? Well, that's because Michael and I are good people. Unlike the scum of the earth, AKA, you."

"Isn't Michael seeing to him, and making sure he doesn't cry?"

Way to change the subject, idiot.

"Actually, he is. But earlier, Michael was crying, worse than Ryder is now. Y'know why?" I ask rhetorically.

"Because of m—"

"Because of you! Congratulations. You've killed Michael's daughter, and you've killed a part of him, too. I've never seen him so upset. So I hope you're happy with yourself. I can't wait for you to be locked up and the key thrown away. That's the day I'll celebrate."

"I just wanna speak to Michael ... "

"Well, too bad. Goodbye."

As I start to close the door, Janine places her foot between the gap again.

"I knew you wouldn't let me in. I just wanna speak to Michael, and you won't let me. What did I do to you?"

"You hurt my fiancé, that's what. And now, now, do you know how badly I wanna hurt you? Real bad," I growl.

Janine forces the door back open, and stands in the doorway once again. "I'm trying to stay calm here, Becky. It's you that isn't."

"Excuse me? You're the one that killed a child! And what? You're saying I gotta calm down? Well tough! I will be angry towards you if I wanna be angry towards you!"

"Becky, please. I wanna stay calm in this. Just let me go inside ... I really need to speak to Michael."

"He doesn't wanna see you," I say angrily.

"Just let her say the crap she needs to, then she's gone." Hearing Michael's voice, I turn around to see him right there behind me.

Janine's face lights up at the sight of Ryder. He's in Michael's arms. "He's gorgeous," she says softly.

"Thanks; you coulda had one if you hadn't killed it."

Okay, so maybe that sounded a little mean, but I don't care. It was her choice to kill her little girl.

"I had my reasons," she says quietly.

Michael hands Ryder to me, then comes closer to the door. "You didn't have any reason to kill my little girl," he says sadly.

"Yes I did! Just ... you don't know anything!" Janine cries. "I have my reasons!"

Michael grabs her collar, dragging her into the living room. I close the door and follow them quickly.

"Oh, what! What kinda reasons do you have other than the fact you didn't want her? I was gonna have her!" Michael screams furiously.

The way he's acting reminds me of when he hated me, before we started dating ... but that was just acting, whereas this is real.

I set Ryder down, so he isn't hurt.

"Let me go!" Janine cries out.

Michael keeps a firm grip on her. "No! Tell me why you killed my child!" he demands.

"I've told you the reason why!" Janine says sadly, her eyes filling with tears.

"No, you haven't! All you said was that you didn't want it, and you didn't believe I'd want it once it was born! They aren't reasons, they're excuses!"

"Michael ... please!" Janine's begging now.

The way Michael's acting is kinda scaring me now. He's never normally like this. This has obviously gotten to him, significantly.

"Then tell me the real reasons; why did you kill my child!" he yells.

Janine really wants this to end now, I think. "Okay!" she chokes. "I'll tell you!"

Michael lets her go, and she falls to the floor. She picks herself herself up, brushing herself down.

"So? Go on! I'm waiting!" Michael growls.

"Because! ... Because I know what would have happened if I'd kept her! I woulda given her to you, and you woulda become so attached to her, and you wouldn't let her see me in prison, and I don't wanna go through life knowing I had a child that couldn't see me! Is that reason enough for you?" she asks sadly.

"Just get out, Janine. Go on. Out," Michael says calmly.

"Michael, I'm sorry—"

"Just get out of my life! Get out of my life, now! I never wanna see your face in this house, not ever, ever again! Ya hear me! I don't even wanna see you again – at least, not until the trial! Ya hearing me still!" Michael loses his temper; this is the angriest I've ever seen him. He lunges forward to grab her, but I stop him.

"Leave her, Michael. Janine, get your pathetic, lousy, scummy ass outta my house. Now," I demand.

Janine nods, before starting to walk towards the living room door.

"I'm sorry Michael ... I'm sorry ... "

She leaves the room, then a matter of seconds later, we hear the front door close. Michael leans his back on the wall, then slides himself down the wall, ending up on the floor, and he closes his eyes and winces to stop himself from crying.

He looks so hurt right now – real hurt. He buries his head down between his legs, and covers his head and curls with his arms.

"What did I do to deserve this?" he asks sorrowfully. "Was there something I did wrong?"

He's genuinely crying now; I can hear it. I sit down by him, and stroke the curls that he didn't cover with his arms. "You did nothing wrong, Michael. Janine will pay for this. She's going down for all this. It'll haunt her for life, guaranteed."

*

Michael has calmed down a little now. He's still upset, but he isn't crying. He's smiling faintly, watching Ryder giggle as I lift him up, kiss his nose, and then sit him on my leg and bounce him up and down. Michael must be finding it cute.

"I'm glad you're a little happier now, Michael."

"Yeah ... I'm not gonna waste my tears on an ass like Janine."

"You don't need to, Michael. She'll pay for what she did, don't you worry none."

"Hmm ... can I hold Ryder?"

"Sure."

I hand Ryder over to Michael, and Michael does what I just did, lifting him up and kissing his nose softly. Ryder's giggling away, yet he's only a few days old.

"You're a wonderful father," I say softly.

Michael looks my way and smiles. "And you're the epitome of a perfect mother."

"Oh, Michael. You know how to make me smile," I say.

Michael lowers Ryder down to his leg, and he bounces Ryder like I did. Watching our son; seeing how happy he is, is always enough to make us smile, no matter the situation.

"I love you," I say.

"And I love you more and most," Michael smiles, raising his eyebrow. He knows I love it when he does that.

"Hmm ... looks like you're teasing me," I chuckle.

Michael smirks. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. You'll never know."

He likes using that phrase, doesn't he?

"Hmm, I'll assume it's "Maybe I am", then," I reply.

The doorbell goes again.

"Ugh, if that's Janine, I swear—"

"I'll get it," I interrupt Michael, and smile faintly. I kiss Michael's lips and Ryder's forehead, before walking to the door. I open it. "Emma, hey. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing ... I just left my purse here," she replies with a chuckle.

"Oh, sure. You wanna come in and get it?"

I lead her inside, and try to shut the door ... but I can't. There's something under the doormat that's stopping me from doing so.

"What's this?" I ask, taking an envelope from under the mat.

"A letter," Emma replies in curiousity.

"It's marked, "Dear Michael". What's this about?" I ask. Curiosity taking over, I take it into the living room, where Michael and Ryder are. "Michael, I just found this for you." Handing it to him, I sit down by his side whilst he inspects the envelope.

"Dear Michael," Michael reads. He unseals the envelope, and sees a letter written in neat handwriting.

Dear Michael,

I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you. I regret it deeply. I don't think I'm normal in the head, not at all. To sexually assault, like, 7 or 8 guys? I'm not normal. And then, to make it worse, I told you I was pregnant with your child. I know how happy you were about that, but I went and spoiled your dreams and killed our child, our baby girl. Now that I've done it, I feel a heavy regret for doing so. But I have reasons for it, which, by the time you read this, I may or may not have told you.

I understand what it's like to lose a child, cuz I was there at age 16. But that was a miscarriage, and it wasn't meant to happen. But I think that was a sign from above, that having children wasn't meant to be, at least not for me. So please understand why I had the abortion, cuz it wasn't an easy decision to make, as you may know, but it was one I had to make, for my sake.

You may think that all I care for is myself, it isn't. I have a brother who I care for very much, Cameron. But even he is starting to dislike me now. Daniel's dead, Rachel's dead, my daughters are dead (the misscarried child was a girl) and you don't want me, and you don't even like me. My life is nothing. My life is crap. What else have I got to live for? The answer to that question would be ... nothing.

The reason I have written you this letter is to make you aware that, by the time you read this, I may not be here. At precisely 7:15pm, I will hang myself. I will kill myself, in the basement of Cameron and my home. I cannot face life in prison, knowing that no one loves me, that no one cares for me, and that all my closest friends and family are dead. This is also the main reason I had the abortion, because I have been planning to kill myself for a short while now. If I was going to kill myself, that would kill the baby anyway, so I had the abortion so that the little girl wouldn't die a tragic way, like her mother.

I can't live this life anymore, Michael. I'm done with this world. I'm absolutely done with it. Don't even try to stop me from doing this. By the time you read this, I hope I'm already dead. I wouldn't wanna see your pained face as the last thing I saw before I die, so please don't come. Not that you would anyway, but ... if a part of you could forgive me, I wanna carry that knowledge without seeing your sadness.

Goodbye, Michael and Becky. I'm sorry for everything. Please forgive me, so I know you don't hate me in the next life. Say goodbye to Cameron for me. I'm off to be with my daughters, Daniel and Rachel. Remember I still love you, that never changed. I'll remember our New Year's Day kiss forever.

Yours regretfully,

Janine MoHickey.

Nervously, I look at Michael. "What time is it now?" I ask.

Michael checks at his watch. "It's 7:07pm. She's got eight minutes to live."

"What are we gonna do about it?" I ask.

"We're gonna try stop her. I hate her, but I wouldn't wish her dead. C'mon, Becky, we gotta go! Emma, please look after Ryder for us." Michael's clearly in panic mode now, and so am I.

"Of course, Michael. Good luck," Emma replies.

I kiss Ryder's forehead. "See you, little man."

Michael and I run out the door, down the street. Will we make it on time? Cam doesn't live too far from here, so we can make it.

Michael's ahead of me; it's dark and I can barely see. He runs back to me and takes my hand.

"C'mon!" he cries, running faster.

Could we save Janine? Will we get there on time? Ugh, I hate her guts, but I wouldn't wish her dead. Oh, Janine, why make this life such a hard one? It's a question I'm asking too often, and a question I want an answer to.

All the flashbacks of all the deaths I've seen or witnessed in my life ... they're making me sure that I don't want to witness another one. Not ever, ever again.

Death is too much of a reoccuring event in my life, and it doesn't just kill the victim – it kills me to see it, too.

Death changes everyone, even the enemies of the victims ... AKA, me.

Author's note: I'm sorry the chapter is so long, but woah.. it's a little bit of a plot twist, right? I'm kinda hoping it's a good plot twist ... will Becky and Michael make it to Janine on time? Hmm, it's a tricky one.