S I X
a moon: a natural satellite of any planet.

dedicated to sezerv

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AIDEN'S HOUSE WAS not what could be classified as a house. In fact, with one squat floor and a back patio opening out onto a view of New York city, it was the most modern bungalow I had ever been in. The outside had been repainted a pale blue, standing out among the row of moulding dwellings like a sore thumb.

"Here you go, my lover," Kaya murmured, handing me a concoction of vodka and cranberry juice.

Tentatively, I raised the blue cup to my lips and choked down a sip of the bitter liquid. As usual, my best friend had decided to put too much vodka into the alcoholic cocktail. Bile rose in my throat as the substance burned against my sensitive tongue.

"You put way too much vodka in that," I sighed. I squinted my eyes, but it did nothing to diminish the pain.

Kaya shrugged her shoulders in time with the roaring house music. Aiden's bungalow wasn't as small as it appeared, with an open plan design. The kitchen spilled into the extensive living room, with lights glaring from each corner of the rectangular room. The main lights had been turned all the way down, leaving red and blue hues to illuminate the partying teenagers. It was much smaller than Ana's party, with the guest list amounting to thirty people. I had managed to drag my group along, but Ryan and Max had already disappeared, and Emma had attracted the attention of one of Cole's supposed friends. Kaya's silver hair refracted rays of scarlet as she swayed to the Ed Sheeran remix, holding her hands in the air to prevent herself from spilling her drink. The red light appeared like a halo around her perfected face.

"No I didn't," Kaya chuckled. She fell towards me, light on her feet after her forth glass. "Sorry," the girl slurred, as she accidentally stumbled and spilt her drink on her red bandeau. I was quick to pull the sleeve of the jumper tied around my waist towards my hand, and wiped the translucent liquid off her top.

"kaya," I murmured, finishing my work. "Promise me you won't drink any more."

The girl pondered for a moment, holding the plastic cup to her lips. "I can't do that, and you know it," she replied. Her face was taut, as though she was in pain.

"I know," I whispered, but the quietness of my voice was overpowered by the thundering music. I could feel each beat vibrate through my body, breaking down the cells within me. I made a mental note to keep an eye on the teenager – if I could.

My eyes fluttered over the wooden dancefloor, flickering from one party goer to the next. Although I would never admit it to Kaya – or anyone, in fact – I was searching for a specific Spanish male with a smile that could melt your heart, and eyes as bright as the moon. My heart deflated when I couldn't spot him, so I flipped out my iphone and typed to the rhythm of the music.

Where are you? Xxx

Where are you? Xx

Hey don't just repeat me u better be here xxx

Course I am xxx

I can see you cassie xxx

Where tf are you seriously??

I jumped out of my skin when someone tapped me on the shoulder. In a hurried motion, I shut off my phone, only for it to slip through my fingers.

Cole reached down and picked up my mobile before the tragedy had sunk into my brain. I tore it from his hand, studying the cracked screen protector before sighing. I cradled the electronic device close to my chest.

"I swear to God, I will have a heart attack from you one day," I laughed as Cole turned to face me. My lips puckered open to say more, but I paused as soon as my irises landed on his tattered face.

Dark circles stained the underside of his eyes like ebony lakes, and the vein on his head was popping from stress. I stepped closer, running my fingers up his forearm up to comfort the man. He flinched away. Cole's brave and steel composure had been completely underdone. It had completely shattered into a trillion irreparable shards that were impossible to piece back together. It tore at my heart strings, and forced my eyes to produce tears.

Cole Colloway, the confident bad boy of Ash Hill Preparatory, had been undone. Untwined.

"Cole." My voice cracked. 

He shook his head slowly. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine," I exhaled, too shocked to muster up a speech the protagonist usually made in cliché rom-com films.

The brunette brushed away my arm, only to clutch onto my wrist and pull me from the room to the patio outside. Without a single word, he jumped onto the white barbeque next to the house, and stepped onto the ceiling. I followed him up, tiles biting into my tanned flesh. I didn't look at the tremendous view as I climbed up the bungalow roof, positioning myself next to Cole's bare arms. The night air was warm. A zephyr blew hot air into my face as the roar of traffic captivated my hearing. New York city shone across the water, refracted on the still sea in a magnitude of silver light. The moon was a mere fragment in the sky, and a scattering of stars pierced the canvas like beads. It was perhaps one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

"You like roofs, don't you?" I chuckled when the waves of silence had washed over us and left us swimming in the middle of the ocean. Cole didn't respond. His hands were held together in his lap, as though the man was trying to concentrate on anything other than my voice. "What happened?"

"Please, Cole. If you're not going to say anything, then I may as well go home." I continued.

A rush of wind was the only thing to greet me. It howled in my ears like a feral animal. After a minute, I stood up to leave, and brushed the dirt from my jeans, only for Cole to pull me back.

"You know what I like most about being up here?" Cole murmured. Finally, his head moved so that he could concentrate on the stars. He didn't give me time to answer. "The stars. They're so clear, and beautiful, and just so far away, and untouchable. But I've always seen the same stars. The same constellations. And, Nova, I can't take it anymore. I can't." Cole's voice broke, my heart with it. He buried his head in his hands so that I couldn't see the emotions blatant on his face.

"Hey," I whispered. I twitched my finger, wondering what I should do to comfort him. I was scared that my touch would dissolve what we had between us like salt did in water. "You don't have to stay here forever. You've got one more year of school, and then you're free. And I'll do whatever I can to get you away from here. Be it a few ten-dollar bills, or someone to keep you company, I will always be here."

I wished it was my head doing the talking, but the words ushered from my mouth came directly from the abyss of my beating cardiac muscle. Cole had awakened a feeling deep inside me – a feeling I couldn't live without. It was like heroine, and it drew me in.

Cole simply shook his head and lifted it from the confines of his arms. The glint of water blemished his red eyes. "You don't understand, Nova," Cole sighed. "I don't want to be here. At all."

"Then leave," I fired back.

"No." Cole's voice shook. "I don't want to be alive."

My mind fell into oblivion. Ice consumed my limbs, until every part of my body was numb - as though I had been submerged in a bath of ice. I was immobilised by shock, like a rabbit caught in headlights. Now I knew how it felt to have your soul torn from your chest. Hurt built up inside me, and welled up like a tsunami waiting to burst open the flood gates. I hadn't anticipated Cole's words. He had always been happy, and smiled wherever he went.

"W- why?"

"Because-" the boy stammered. He looked so small and powerless in that moment. "Because I can't help but feel this way. I don't expect you to understand, but some days I feel extremely happy. Others I'm so down I can't get out of bed."

I'm still too flabbergasted to reply.

"It's something I've lived with for the past three years, and it's going to stay with me for the rest of my life," Cole continued. "I see a therapist once a fortnight, but it's not the way I want to live my life."

My eyes welled up with tears. "I-" I don't know what to say. I fisted my hair and hoped that my brain would find the right words. "I don't know how to say this. You're the most amazing guy I've ever met. Ever. And I don't know what you're going through, but I do know that you're the strongest person on the face of this earth. I've seen it. You can get through... Whatever this is."

"It's not that simple, Nova," Cole moaned.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I know it isn't, but I lived wit severe anxiety for years, and it's only just started to get better. Be it, whether you're depressed, or bipolar, you're still a great guy. Don't let it define who you are. Plus," I uttered, hoping he couldn't hear the tremor in my tone. "I need you." The cliché line rolled off my tongue with ease.

"Nobody needs me, chica."

Before I knew what I was doing, I sunk my head into the crook of Cole's neck. "Yes, they do," I whispered. "And more than you realise. I know that what you have isn't going to go away, but it doesn't make you a bad person, Nicole. You're fucking Cole Colloway. Death doesn't deserve you."

At this, Cole's stomach shook from laughter. His tanned arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to his frame until our heartbeats became one. "Is it you or the alcohol talking?" Cole investigated.

"The alcohol, I hope," I joked, but the mood didn't lighten.

"You're a very special person, Nova," Cole said. "I hope you know that."

"I'm not!" I argued. In no way, shape, or form, was Casanova Serena Blake unique in any way.

"You are. You're like a star – one that I haven't seen before. You make being here worthwhile." The man drew me in closer, smoke still lingering on his breath. "I know I said I didn't want a relationship, and now you know why, but with you – you make me question everything."

I gazed out at the moon as feeling returned to all of my vital organs, prompted but the inferno encompassing my tiny figure. It roared, drowning out the noise of the music billowing below us, and the dense hum of traffic from the horizon. Adrenaline had got the better of me.

I had always wanted Cole to feel the same way I did, even though I had never pinned my exact feelings into words. It was something that couldn't be described in sentences.

"You'll get through this," I said under my breath.

"I don't know," Cole replied with a gentle shake of his head. "At the moment, it just seems impossible."

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aww my baby I feel so bad but this is sort of the darkish part coming up. I honestly love cole and hate him being unhappy :((

hope you enjoyed, i love you for reading this ❤️ what been your favourite moment so far?

lotte xx