Yoongi sat at his desk, working on a Music Theory assignment. It was raining outside, so it made his dorm room pretty dark. Even with his desk light on, the room was only shadows. But that's okay, he didn't want the sunlight right now. The sun was too bright and cheerful. He hasn't been either of those for weeks now.

After what he happened with Jimin, he'd fallen down a dark hole of self hatred and guilt. He can clearly remember Jimin begging him to slow down that night, or maybe just talk to him. The look of physical and emotional pain was burned into his memory. It was tearing him apart.

Looking back, he knows that he was truly just too selfish to realize how much he was hurting the one person that had always been by his side.

They were best friends. They should have never had sex that first time. He doesn't even know why he asked the younger to in the first place. Because he was there, or maybe-

Why did I do this? He asked himself this question every day, but he's never come close to getting a clear answer to it.

He knows there's definitely not an excuse for it. But maybe, at the time, if he felt some kind of connection from someone other than Sera, than maybe he'd be able to move on faster. Clearly, that was one of the dumbest things he's ever thought.

Things took a turn when he continued using Jimin's body as a coping mechanism. He became obsessed with it. He took advantcage of his best friend in the worst way possible.

Yoongi had made the decision to shut himself out of Jimin's life entirely because he knows Jimin would be better without him.

He knows Jimin though. He knows Jimin probably wishes that they would work things out eventually, but he just can't do that. Yoongi can't bring himself to look the younger in the eyes after everything.

Yoongi isn't sure if his grand plan to make Jimin hate him has been successful or not yet. He's definitely done an excellent job at avoiding the pretty brunette, but making Jimin hate him would be tricky.

Yoongi would have to become a true college asshole- a true fuckboy.

He started to go after his ex-girlfriend again. At this point, he didn't even want to be with Sera anymore, but he knew how Jimin would feel if they got back together.

Kang Sera loved the attention Yoongi was giving her again. She's probably feeling pretty powerful. She was able to cheat on Yoongi, dump him, and the boy still came crawling right back to her.

But she is completely blind to Yoongi's true intensions.

Yoongi saw Jimin that day in the hallway.

Yoongi was walking beside Sera, ignoring her as she told him all about her new role that she ended up scoring. He saw the younger dart into the bathroom. He recalls him looking a little green. His best friend instincts were tugging on him to go check on Jimin, but before he could, he remembered that he's not supposed to. He's cutting all ties with the smaller, and this was a perfect opportunity.

Grabbing Sera's hand, Yoongi stopped them in the middle of the hallway. As he looked at her, he realized something. She was physically attractive, yes, but she was ugly. Everything inside her was utterly indecent, but so was he.

They were perfect for one another.

When Jimin exited the restroom, Yoongi pulled Sera closer, whispering meaningless little nothings in her ear. He caressed her face and put his hand on her waist, knowing Jimin could see. Yoongi smirked, thinking that he should be the actor between him and Sera. She reacted perfectly to his ministrations. She giggled and twirled her finger in her hair, batting her fake eyelashes at him.

When Yoongi saw the petite male run off out of the corner of his eye, the act instantly stopped. He pulled away from Sera, letting go of her waist. Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice the instant coldness to his actions.

Looking back on the whole scenario, Yoongi knew that he had been successful with his mission, but man, it still crushed him. He cared about Jimin, so he believed that he was doing the right thing. This would be the best for Jimin in the end.

Yoongi couldn't focus on his studies anymore. He turned off his desk lamp, stood up, and stretched. He plopped himself down on the bed and quickly fell into a restless slumber.

----------

A couple days later, Yoongi and Hoseok decided to stay in the dorm and play video games together.

After Hoseok lost for the fifth time, he tossed his controller on the bed with a huff. He opened a new bag of chips, opting to watch Yoongi play instead. Yoongi noticed and switched the game to single player mode. Hoseok just stared at the older.

"The others are all over at Taehyung and Jimin's place tonight. I think they're watching a movie."

Yoongi just hummed in response, seemingly uninterested as he stared at the TV screen. Rolling his eyes at him, Hoseok continued to press.

"We haven't all hung out as a group for a while Yoongs. You don't even sit with us at lunch anymore. What happened between you and Jimin?"

Surprisingly, Yoongi responded. "Nothing happened. We just don't want to hang out anymore. End of story." That was such a bullshit answer, and they both knew it.

"Yoongi, be serious!" he almost shouted. "Jimin has been so depressed lately, everyone can see it. If anyone says your name around him, he looks like kicked puppy, so we don't bother asking him about it. But you," he emphasized. Now the always cheerful, Hoseok seemed quite upset. "Can you quit the game for just a second? You're about to die anyway."

And exactly as Hoseok predicted, Yoongi did, in fact, die. So he turned off the game and stared at Hoseok, not giving away any of his emotions on his face.

Hoseok took a deep breath to try to control his own frustrations. "Namjoon and I have talked about it," he said. "You act like it doesn't bother you, like you don't care about what's happened. I just don't get it."

Yoongi sat up straighter. "I really don't want to talk about this right now, Hobi. Let's just keep playing. You're really killing the mood."

"Yoongi! Listen to you..." Hoseok was actually perturbed now. "You and Jimin are best friend's. You've been with each other since you were babies! How can you act like you don't care about him? He's been there for you through everything. Whenever you need anything, he's always running to your rescue. Remember when you were so swamped in assignments? Jimin stayed up til 5am with you to finish them, dude."

The older was starting to grow frustrated. He knew all of this already. He didn't need anyone to remind him.

"Remember when you hurt your ankle, and Jimin helped you to all of your classes for entire week! He ended up being late to his own classes almost every day. Oh, and remember-"

"Hoseok, enough." Yoongi coudln't take it anymore.

The dorm mate shut his mouth. When he looked up, Yoongi had tears specking his eyes and his lips were trembling.

"Do you think I don't know all of that already? Of course I do," he stuttered while he spoke. "If this was something simple, the two of us would have fixed it already, but it's not. I don't think we can ever come back from this."

Yoongi looked so pitiful. He couldn't control his trembling as he spoke. This was the first time he was exposing his true emotions about this to anyone.

Hoseok was gentle as he spoke up again, "What exactly happened, Yoongi? Can you tell me? It's just us."

Yoongi shook his head and wiped his eyes. "I can't. Not yet." He bit his lip as he clutched onto the bottom of his shirt.

Finding that Yoongi had had enough, the red heart supposed pestering. That was more than Hoseok had expected to get out of the older. And the other had said 'yet'. That was a start.

Whatever had happened, must have been pretty serious because Yoongi appeared pretty messed up.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hi everyone! So this was a pretty depressing chapter, so sorry about that.

But now you have seen a little of Yoongi's perspective. He is clearly going through some stuff too, so don't hate him too much.

Like always, thank you for reading!! Pleae vote and comment! The comments is what I'm doing this for. I really love interacting with my readers. Let me know what you think so far!

-Sydney <3