Slight depression, family member death, transgender, disownment, boyxboy

Jongsang

Among all the fans, Yeosang looses himself. He continuously tries to act normal so no one would find out how he's really feeling. He feels trapped and when he tries to break free he's always chained back in the room.

The constant feeling he gets amounds to everything he does, the cameras in his face, the eagle eyes watching everything he does.

He wants to escape and be free but he has to stick to the status quo and pretend like there's nothing wrong, when he doesn't even know who he is anymore.

He wants to show the real him, act like he's supposed to but people would be angered and most likely wish for his death.

Oh you're confused? Well let me help you out. Yeosang was born as a female and always hated his body so he became a male, he got top surgery, he took testosterone and became a better him but if anyone found out he'd be ridiculed and that's why he feels lost. People expect him to follow stereotypes, about how he should act, who he should love, what he should be. He tried so hard to handle everything while working towards his dream but honestly it became a nightmare he was trying to run from.

So here he is a year in and no one but his parents knew. Thought they can't really be called parents as they kicked him out. He moved in with his grandpa who accepted him for who he is. They would play games together, watch movies and go on holidays together. And then his grandpa told him about kpop and idols, he was told that his grandpa used to be an idol back in the day and wanted to see Yeosang as one as well.

Yeosang accepted because he loved dancing and singing and he joined a little company and debuted after a few years.

It wasn't long until they climbed the ranks and hit it off well. They became really popular international and that's every idols dream.

He made some great friends and became apart of a mismatched family with a mother and father figure with the rest being his friends. He didn't see them as siblings because he felt awkward as he already had some siblings.

This is where we are today, the boys are sitting in the finning room after a long day and eating a home cooked meal because they had time to do so.

As usual there was chaos and shouting from everyone but Yeosang was quiet. This was normal because he usually didn't get what the others were talking about because he never really cared to focus on an unuseful topic. Others may think that's disrespectful but the family he has here understands he's shy.

They usually leave him to himself. But when they do talk with him it's usually after an arguement and seeking comfort or listen to Yeosang roast the other party making them laugh.

It was a regular occurrence but he loved it. After dinner the group decided to go out for the rest of the day with permission and headed to a skate park. It was empty due to it being a weekday and so they played around.

Yeosang had brought his drone and was flying it around with a camera.
He was testing how producers do it for mvs.

However, as he landed his drone it was crushed by mingi and Wooyoung who were play fighting one another and fell.

As soon as the crunch sound was heard everyone fell silent. Mingi and Wooyoung got up and noticed the drone. Yeosangs hands started to shake as he tried not to cry.

It was his grandpa's and his grandpa was bed ridden with an illness that came with an expensive bill.

Seeing his prized possession in pieces, made his mood drop. He slowly approached it biting his lip which was quivering. He gently touched the drone and tried to pick up the pieces and try to fix it.

As everyone got over their initial shock there was yelling, apologise and threats but Yeosang was to busy picking up the pieces.

He felt tears well up in his eyes and just stared at the drone. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. This was the only thing that kept him sane while his grandpa was ill. And now it was gone, broken, ruined.

The first tear fell landing on the back of his hand. Soon a waterfall of silent tears fell from his eyes as his band members watched him with sorrow.

"Why?" he croaked out. Everyone just stared at him waiting for something to happen.

"yeosang were sorry we didn't mean it! We'll get you another one!" Wooyoung cried out as his best friend started to get up.

"I don't want another one, this was my grandfather's" yeosang said tears still streaming down his face however his face and voice was monotone.

That sentence made everyone's heart pang with guilt, because they just witnessed their usually stoic friend break down. They knew how much his grandfather meant to them and they knew how he was ill. No one said a thing until Yeosang put the drone in his bag and walked away from the skate park.

He didn't turn to go to the Dorm he turned the opposite way heading deeper into the city.

He ignored the desperate please and cries of his members and continued walking until he got to his grandpa's house.

He walked in using a spare key and headed straight to see his grandpa. There he was laying in bed breathing heavily. He didn't look to great but the house nurse had said he was getting better just having trouble breathing at night so they had him on a mask.

Yeosang just stared at his oy family and gently grabbed the elders hand.
"grandpa I'm sorry, I broke your drone. I was playing with it earlier and it was smashed when I lost control" Yeosang lied trying not to get his members and friends in trouble.

He just stared obviously not getting an answer but he didn't need one all he needed was his grandpa back.

It was getting dark and Yeosangs phone was beeping continuously as he passed out on the floor with his head on the bed and his hand in his grandpa's.

He felt that if he released the hand his grandpa would leave him like everyone else did.

But things never get better right.

Two years later yeosang had conetely shut off his emotions. His grandfather passed away in his sleep about a week after his drone was broken.

The drone was still in pieces but Yeosang couldn't part with it. He tried to fix it multiple times but the pieces were to broken.

He managed to save the base but the plastic casing and propellers were broken beyond repair so now he was left with a black base of a drone.

He trashed all the broken pieces.

He never partook in present giving and when it came to big holidays he stayed in his room.

He had lost all comfort with his friends he just felt empty. However, fate thought otherwise.

On Christmas, Yeosang woke up to a present on his desk were the drone used to be, there was no name on the box so he didn't know who it was from but he opened it.

When he did he was greeted with lots of tissue paper and a letter.

Dear Yeosang,

These past two years we've noticed that you've become cut off with everyone around you ever since your grandpa died. We wanted to give you this gift, we hope you like it.

From???

Yeosang removed the tissue paper until he could see a white drone and another letter.

Dear Yeosang,

If your reading this you took the time to open the present this far and we thank you for that.

In the box is a drone but not just any drone it is the same drone you got from your grandpa.

We all pitched in to fix it.

Two of us got the parts.

One of us put it together and the rest painted it and signed it.

If you want to know who its from then look on the back side of the drone.

We hope you forgive us and let us into your life again.

The letter was placed down and he did as it said. He gently picked up the drone and turned it around seeing a beautifully painted pattern, and in that pattern was ATEEZ, he cried as he read each and every single note the group wrote.

Im sorry I broke you drone, I should have been more careful, and these past two years I realised that maybe I could do something in apology. We all pitched in as the letter said and we want you to know we love you. ~ mingi

Your grandpa would be proud of what you've done, he may be gone but that proves he was happy. He would have fought on if he thought you were not capable of looking after yourself. We love you Yeosang XXX - wooyoung, your bestest friend in the world.

Hyung, you may feel insecure and feel lost but we are here to help you, so please let us back into your life, we will be extra careful, you are a part of ateez and I wanted you to know I love you, you make me happy when your around and I feel safe. We're the strongest members right? So how about you use that strength to move on but not forget. Join us for dinner OK, I pormise it'll be worth It. ❤️😘 - jongho (your favourite dongsaeng.

Yeosang grinned at this one and thanked him mentally.

Yeosang I'm sorry you had to go through all of this and I'm happy you're not leaving us - seonghwa

Thank you for fighting with us Yeosang, let's make things better, we can start over as if we just met if you want to, just please forgive us even though we all know who we're the culprits but we shouldn't have even been apart of the trip, we should have stayed in and none of this would have hdappened. About your grandpa just know hes watching you right now with a big smile on his face. - hongjoong

We love you Yeosang and we wish you a merry Christmas - San your mountain

Yeosang please join us again we miss you very much, we promise to make things better, we will be in the living room whenever you need us. Merry Christmas yeoyeo ~ yunho

We love you ~~ ATEEZ ( your family)

Yeosang smiled and wiped his eyes. He kissed the drone and placed it on the side before running to the living room.

Everyone looked at him and watched as he smiled.

"thank you" he said before being dragged into a group hug. Everyone opened the presents with him and he apologised for not getting them anything but everyone was OK, as guilty as he felt yeosang offered to pay for a day out letting every one agree.

When it was almost time to leave he approached jongho, everyone was in the room doing their own things.

"hyung?" jongho asked as he saw yeosang stand above him from were he sat.

"Im transgender, will you still love me?" yeosang said bluntly making every one freeze.

"of course I would hyung,  I fell in live with who you are not for what you are." jongho said smiling, Yeosang grinned back before cheers were heard and chants to kiss were heard from the 99 line. So Yeosang did, eliciting more cheers.

"so let's go out and have fun" yeosang said and everyone left.

This proves that things may not work out but if you have someone you trust and cherish they can make everythung better. Do you believe in fate?

1998 words this ended at not including this note 😂