Lights out by hyunology on ao3.

Seoul looked very enchanting at night. The bustling city's nightlife started at around 8 p.m., with students getting out of cram schools and teenagers going out to bars and nightclubs. Beomgyu doesn't fit in amongst the city people. Yeonjun did, though. He always did. In every sense, he was a Seoul boy- the loud extrovert and the roisterer among all their friends.

Beomgyu doesn't know when, or how, but they'd be stuck together like magnets since forever. Even after their fallout in the ninth year. For wherever Yeonjun was there, Beomgyu would be there too.

Sometimes, their getaway mechanisms appeared to be very anomalous. They had their 'thing'. Going for late-night drives along the dark tunnels of Apgujeong and past the busy streets of Sinsa-dong was not unusual. Neither were impromptu trips to Naksan Park or climbing on top of Andong's tall trees. Night drives were everything- even the reason they'd become friends ( and then something more)

'To be the Perseus to your Andromeda, I'd cross even the deepest oceans,' Yeonjun had whispered to Beomgyu the first time they'd gone for their nightly ritual. The view from Lotte World's tower was intoxicating. It was Beomgyu's favorite place in the whole of Seoul. It was enchanting. Seducing, like a lover; addicting, like wine.

Right now, Beomgyu wonders if there is anything in this world more beautiful than Yeonjun's sad-smiling, yet excited expression as they drove through Andong. It was exhilarating sometimes, the rush that came along with the adrenaline. To Beomgyu, it was like feeling all of his love poured out in the cold air, despite the weather and the frostbites that came with it. Beomgyu raises the volume to its highest limit and blasts Keshi over the crackling speakers. He's loud. They're loud. Yeonjun and him. They were always the loudest ones. But silent understandings did remain, like a saccharine sweet memory.

Sometimes, Beomgyu sobs over to Yeonjun about how much he loved him. All about him. From how his lips pouted when they kissed, to how his eyes twinkled like jewels. Made just for Beomgyu to touch and play with. They had this dynamic that no one else could ever have. It was always Yeonjun and Beomgyu, Beomgyu and Yeonjun. That was a given.

Sometimes, Yeonjun wonders if he deserves Beomgyu at all. He was beauteous and too good to be true. Sometimes, as they lay together in bed-limbs tangled and pinkies interlocked- Yeonjun kisses all of Beomgyu's tiny imperfections. The little scars that adorn his face endearingly, the moles that made his pale face look way prettier than any human could ever be- just everything about Beomgyu screamed 'lovely'.

He contemplates about life's vagaries. Love was a beautiful word. Beautiful yet melancholic. It had this sad tinge to it. It depended on the way people looked at it, though. He is afraid, of what would happen if everything just went astray- now was perfect. Yeonjun didn't want to let go of it. But some things just had to stay in the past, as a forgotten memory.

Yeonjun loved their night drives more than anything. They were a source of comfort for him. Escaping into their little world, where the harsh cruelty didn't matter. It didn't exist at all. This, misconception of reality made them different, unique even. All Yeonjun ever knew was to be spontaneous, and fun.

'To live and not just to exist', he remembers them cheering together, after a long day of school and the world looking down upon them.

He doesn't normally like like people. Beomgyu was his first, and would always be. That was a sure thing. Yeonjun often questioned his sexuality. He wasn't into girls, that was sure, but never boys either. It was confusing, this stuff. He doesn't like the feeling of it completely.

He wishes to run far away and tries his best to do that. But shadows of his past held him back. He wanted to go so far away from that, sometimes it appeared so, so unreal. The past was always a bitch, a pain. But sometimes, the only thing was to close that chapter tight and forget. But it still hurt, to see something or someone from your past being perfectly able to move on, while you still hung on just that thing. It hurt.

No one understood their love for night drives or long rides. It was a secret, a Beomgyu and Yeonjun thing. And it wasn't like them to let it all go down the drain, and high school was a turning point. Yeonjun wanted to escape from the darkness of Seoul into something different, somewhere different. He wanted to go back to the sunny beaches of California, where he'd spent his childhood, running around with his cousins and friends. Beomgyu didn't. He wanted to stay and fulfill his parents' wishes and go to Yonsei. They were going to be two continents apart. Different sides of the universe. Like tangents. Yeonjun doesn't know, he doesn't feel at home in Seoul anymore. It was suffocating.

They couldn't relate to the pain of letting go. Sure, It was overwhelming, but it was the thrill, adrenaline, and beauty in living. It just appeared irrelevant at times. Like a constantly ringing tinnitus, an obstreperous alarm. Sad, longing, and wavering. They were not quite unrequited or anything, just often confusing. Life was, and so was everything in between.

Beomgyu shifts his gaze over to Yeonjun. He looked exhausted, with visible eyebags and a permanent pout on his foxy lips. In moments like this, Beomgyu fell just a little bit more, like raindrops fell from heaven. It was otherwordly beautiful and held all the pieces of their young love. Foolish, but sincere.

Yeonjun doesn't really feel like being in the spotlight. He finds joy in being behind the scenes, filming everything with his Leica. His heart belonged behind those dark lenses, capturing beautifully all the little blemishes of life. Earth, fire, water, air- everything had its own perfections and imperfections just as much. He was beginning to accept that.

But, goodbyes still hurt. It was the truth honestly, and Yeonjun found happiness in the best of people and places. Or at least tried to. He loved Beomgyu for being the way he was, appreciated his mother's ramen for being sticky, spicy and loving, and thanked the strangers who showed him how much impact a simple smile could have in life.

Beomgyu wipes the tears away from his face and smiles at Yeonjun.

'For one last time,' he says, eyes determined and glistening.

'For one last time,' Yeonjun echoed, swerving the car carefully into the dark city of Andong.

It would end, one day, and the day was nearing. There wasn't much time to waste pondering over why the world appeared so unfair. Yeonjun was going to Yale in the fall and Beomgyu, to Seoul National.

They might be two continents apart, but love was visible, strong, abundant.

For one last time, Yeonjun and Beomgyu were hopeless romantics in love. Not Choi Yeonjun or Choi Beomgyu, two teenagers with way too many responsibilities, but Gyu and Jun-two best friends in love since eternity.

And their hearts faded away like those late-night drives along the cities of Seoul and more.