Yeonjun and Beomgyu loved each other. And they just stepped into their fourth year together. While Yeonjun was an idol, the other produced music. They are always busy in their respective jobs, but it's surprising how they always have time for each other.

Four years is a long time, and neither Beomgyu nor Yeonjun thought they'd last that long. To this day, they bicker and engage in petty fights with each other — and the next moment, you'd see them cuddling under blankets, with their laughs filling up their [shared] house.

And, for Beomgyu, Yeonjun is still his role model. No matter, how much he says he hates the older, no matter how much he likes to annoy him — there's a part of him which loves Yeonjun so dearly. He loved every part of Yeonjun.

Beomgyu has always been in awe at how good of a performer Yeonjun is. It's like he was born to be an artist. And, it makes Beomgyu so proud. He likes to boast about his Yeonjun hyung to his coworkers.

He finds it endearing how Yeonjun would be so confident about himself, but the next moment when you compliment him, he would be shy as ever.

Something that makes Yeonjun happy is the fact that Beomgyu calls him 'my healing'. It makes him feel worthy. Being an idol isn't a cakewalk. You can't help but to compare yourself to others. And, that's when Yeonjun feels he's not good at his job. What a relief he got Beomgyu. At times, Yeonjun gets insecure. But then he hears Beomgyu appreciate him in every way he can.

And it makes him feel so good.

"Oh hyung! But, you're so good at this!"

"I swear, if I had a face so beautiful as yours, I would have stood in front of mirror all day!"

"But, you're already pretty, Beoms"

"Shut up, I know. I'm trying you boost your confidence"

"You're literally the best!"

It's like Beomgyu really knew what Yeonjun needed to hear. Yeonjun was aware how busy Beomgyu is as a producer. But he feels proud to be the first one to listen to the younger's songs — the demo. He feels good whenever Beomgyu sings songs for him, and it makes him feel so good. It makes him as if he's important. He's valid. He's loved.

Yeonjun never knew what it feels to have a family [because his single mother was too busy handling her business abroad], but then, Beomgyu happened.

And he finally knew the meaning of home, family.

Yeonjun, Beomgyu — they were like two puzzle pieces that fit each other perfectly. So different from each other, yet so similar.

Fast forward to today, Beomgyu asked Yeonjun if he could pick him up from his workplace. But, then the older said he's busy today. And, he needs to practice a lot.

"Beoms, can you make it to home all alone today?" Yeonjun asked through the phone.

"Don't worry, I'll book a cab, eh?" Beomgyu laughed. "And, don't overwork yourself, please?"

"I won't, silly!"

— This soon made Yeonjun regret his choices. And, just half an hour after he hung up the call, he got another call and was informed that on the way back home, Beomgyu got into a car accident.

Nothing made Yeonjun feel as scared as this news.

This is a lie, right?

Beomgyu is playing a trick on him, is that it?

Yeonjun wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe that Beomgyu was mad at him for not listening to him and coming to pick him up from work. But deep down, he knew Beomgyu isn't the type of person so trouble someone for a petty reasons like this.

He wanted to cry.

Running his hand [which was shaking due to anxiety right now] through his neon yellow hair, Yeonjun now rushed to the hospital. He didn't care if his 'idol' image is ruined. And no, he doesn't care if those obnoxious news agencies are busy publishing the news of him visiting the hospital at this odd hour.

If only he could accompany the younger to his workplace, maybe this wouldn't have happened. If only he could try to delay his practice for later and just joined his boyfriend, maybe — maybe this couldn't have happened.

If only.

Beomgyu now lies on the hospital bed, with his eyes closed. The older boy can't help but to blame himself for this. All his life, he was a decent person and was never this impulsive. But, he can't make out what went wrong today.

He bent down and moved his face closer to Beomgyu's. They were so close that Yeonjun could count the number of eyelashes that adorned Beomgyu's starry eyes. He could see every detail of the other's face.

Yeonjun wished he could grab Beomgyu's face, and kiss him and never let him go. He would do anything to make him happy. Get him that one teddy bear he saw at the arcade. Or, maybe give up on mint chocolate, because Beomgyu's hates them.

He could do anything — if that meant the younger would wake up and engulf him in a warm hug, just like any other day.

Yeonjun breaks into sobs, and it's like echoing against deaf ears. Beomgyu doesn't answer. He holds out the younger's hand tightly. That's when the doctor interrupted and called him. The former said that accident made Beomgyu lose his memories from four years back, right after they met. And, there was nothing Yeonjun could do about it.

A few days later, Beomgyu was released for the hospital. And, Yeonjun made sure to take care of him as much as he could.

Well, it was easier said than done.

He had a tough time answering Beomgyu's questions. He was frustrated, but then even Beomgyu was new to all these things too.

That night, Beomgyu refused to sleep with Yeonjun.

"Why do you have this?" The smaller asked pointing towards the bracelet.

"Why?"

"Looks silly" Beomgyu answered, nonchalantly.

You bought that bracelet for us, though. Yeonjun looked down.

The next few days consisted of Yeonjun showing their pictures to Beomgyu — to help him remember fragments of memories.

"Why am I looking so weird in this?"

"Oh, here, I told you you won't die if you swim, you even held my hand tightly - but you were so scared"

"Oh" Beomgyu was flustered.

That day wasn't much of help to the younger. He realised they made so many memories that it's hard to learn about all of them in a day.

It's now 4 in the morning. And, Beomgyu cannot sleep. He wakes up to see Yeonjun snoring softly. And, he feels guilty. He feels that he's a burden now. He can't even remember anything.

Beomgyu can see how hard Yeonjun tries. He can't imagine spending four years with someone to only see the other forgetting about all the memories. And that's when he realizes that maybe Yeonjun goes through much more than him.

It's hard to believe people these days, but Beomgyu trusts Yeonjun — he doesn't know why. He hopes he doesn't say anything wrong in front of him.

It's hard not to. But he'll try.

Yeonjun wakes up to see Beomgyu pulling his sleeves softly. And, he smiles.

"Can't sleep?"

The other looked away.

"Come here"

"What?" Beomgyu was confused.

Yeonjun let's him know that the fact that Beomgyu had trouble sleeping happened in the past as well. And at times like this, he used to cuddle him to sleep.

Yeonjun made place for the other to sleep, while he looked at the boring ceiling of the room.

"So, c-can you hug me like you used to?"

Yeonjun was surprised at that.

"Please?"

With that Yeonjun wrapped his arms around Beomgyu's waist and pulled him closer, while the other sobbed. He didn't question it.

"It's okay to cry, Beoms. Life is a piece of shit, okay? You didn't do anything wrong. It was me — my fault" And he kissed the other's forehead.

Some days went by, and Yeonjun planned a trip with Beomgyu to Jeju Island. Yeonjun realized they needed some change, he was tired of everything — physically and mentally. It wasn't their first time going there, and so if Beomgyu gets to remember something once they get there, then it'd be great.

Yeonjun was on hiatus right now, but securities followed him everywhere. He doesn't know when he'll be okay, when Beomgyu will be alright. He could never forget himself for Beomgyu's condition.

The trip to Jeju-do was tiring, but the place was very beautiful to Beomgyu.

"Did I come here before?"

"Yes, once. With me" Yeonjun replied, fixing his hair, "We're here once again, because it might help you remember some memories we made in here"

Beomgyu was awestruck.

"You ran along the beach, shouting that day" Yeonjun said. "I still remember" he laughed.

Although Beomgyu would deny this, but his heart fluttered at this.

Ugh, Yeonjun hyung, you're so perfect — I hate this.

"Hyung, can I be alone here for sometime?"

"You can, but please be alright? Promise? And don't stay here for too long, alright?"

"Yes, thank you!" Yeonjun ruffled the smaller's hair and left.

Beomgyu smiled back and looked at thethe expanse of the sea in front of him, he let the gentle waves wet his feet, shoes. The boy sat down on the sandy surface and let his tears fall down his cheeks.

Yeonjun was trying so hard yet Beomgyu couldn't remember anything. And, it made the younger so frustrated. Something about the older makes him feel so comforted. But, he doesn't know what.

Sometimes those faint memories keep playing in his mind, but still he fails to remember them all. It's hard.

Beomgyu's soft whimpers turned into sobs. A wind blows and he gets goosebumps. His head aches now, which is probably the reason why he couldn't hear Yeonjun calling his name out loud from a distance.

"Beoms, what's wrong? Are you alright?"

Beomgyu hugged the other tightly. He closed his eyes tightly, in an attempt to get rid of the throbbing pain — but to no avail.

"H-hyung, there's a sharp pain in my head. Please do something"

Yeonjun was worried after hearing this. "Hop on my back and let me take you back to our room" He said wiping Beomgyu's tears.

The older noticed that the other passed out by that time, so he made a note neither to leave him alone again even if the other insists nor to overwhelm him.

They spent some days in Jeju and then returned back to Seoul. Beomgyu could remember pieces of memories during their stay in Jeju.

That day, Yeonjun was busy in doing some housework when he heard a loud thud. Running to the place from where the sound probably came from, he saw that it was Beomgyu.

He is lying unconscious.

Putting the younger's head in his lap, Yeonjun tried calling his name out loud, to only get no answer in return.

In no time, Beomgyu was transferred to a hospital and Yeonjun was informed that the doctors would be performing a surgery very soon, now that Beomgyu's condition was getting worse.

Needless to say, Yeonjun was very scared.

He was scared to lose Beomgyu.

He was scared by the thought of not being able to see the younger by his side.

He kept biting his lips [something he does, out of anxiety], while thinking of all of the possible outcomes of the surgery.

What if Beomgyu doesn't wake up?

There were so many questions that clouded his mind.

He hopes everything would be alright.

___

"Hyung, I wrote a song for you. Wanna hear that?"

"Of course, Beoms!" Yeonjun beams, telling Beomgyu to sit beside him.

— It's been roughly three months since the surgery. And, things have been so much better for both Beomgyu and Yeonjun.

And, no. Beomgyu hardly remembers any of the memories he made with Yeonjun. But, he developed a deep liking to his hyung. Everything seems so familiar, but still so new.

Beomgyu feels good to see Yeonjun around him.

And, Yeonjun understands. He just had a successful comeback and the way Beomgyu gushed about how he is the best at it, made him feel that the old Beomgyu is somewhat back.

Yeonjun realized that the best part of memories is to make them. He feels that he was wrong for trying to make the younger remember about their old days.

He was happy with what they had, now. At least, Beomgyu is okay. That's what matters the most.

And, Yeonjun thinks he'd have the time of his life to make memories with the younger.

"That's a great song, Beoms" Yeonjun said, excited.

"Thank you, thank you! Anything for you" The other boasted.

— Yeonjun now kisses Beomgyu and, Beomgyu kisses him back.