How to take care of choi soobin: a guide by choi yeonjun, is a oneshot posted by softbangtangang on ao3.

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How To Care For Choi Soobin:

One: Reassure him

"I'm going to embarrass myself in front of the whole nation, hyung!" Soobin half wailed as he paced up and down the living room floor. He'd been at it so long, Yeonjun could swear he saw a hole forming in the rug. Soobin was rather paradoxical. So confident and strong yet nervous and timid depending on the situation. And hosting a music bank with a Sunbaenim he'd only just met, and without his four members, was anxiety central for Soobin. Yeonjun had no doubt that Soobin would be brilliant. He's just not sure how to make Soobin believe that.

"Binnie, they wouldn't have asked you to do this job if they weren't absolutely sure that you are the right fit. You'll be brilliant, I know." Yeonjun said, gently grabbing hold of Soobin's wrist as he passed Yeonjun for the hundredth time. Soobin halted and looked down at Yeonjun's honeyed hand against his paler skin. His eyes were so earnest as he looked to Yeonjun. All Yeonjun wanted to do was to wrap him up and give him every reassurance in the world, only letting him out of his embrace once he loved himself as much as Yeonjun loved him. Although Yeonjun wasn't entirely sure anyone, even Soobin himself, could love Soobin more than he did.

"You promise you're telling the truth?" Soobin mumbled as he flopped down onto the couch next to Yeonjun. Yeonjun reached over and manhandled Soobin until his head was resting against his chest, Soobin's ear pressed against his fluttering heart. He wondered if Soobin could hear how much he loved him.

"With a nutritious dinner and a good nights sleep, there is nothing in the world you can't do, Choi Soobin. You have never and will never disappoint me, you are a wonder and I'm so lucky that you're mine." The last part slipped out before Yeonjun even realised what he said, his heart almost stopped beating as he waited for Soobin to pull away. Instead, he only nuzzled closer, whining cutely as he hid his blush in Yeonjun's neck.

"Hyungieeeeee! You're going to make me cry! But I'm not sure I'll be able to eat or sleep, I'm so nervous I feel like I'm going to throw up." Yeonjun ran his hands through Soobin's hair, trying to soothe the younger boy. There is nothing in the world he wouldn't do for Choi Soobin.

"Here's the game plan: I order some tteokbokki and you are going to eat it even if I have to feed you myself, because you won't be able to do anything on an empty stomach. Then I'll summon the maknaes and we'll cuddle up in a big pile on the couch and have a movie marathon to take your mind off of it, and then you can sleep in my bed and I'll cuddle you to sleep as a special gift from your generous hyung." Yeonjun wished he could spoon Soobin every night, but he'd settle for this. Soobin's bright, starry smile as he looked at Yeonjun only solidified that.

"You're the best, hyung."

Two: Compliment Him

Soobin had dyed his hair to a lilac colour and Yeonjun almost had a heart attack. He didn't think it was possible for Soobin to look more angelic, and yet there he was, standing in the doorway with his legs crossed and eyes turned down looking like the most beautiful human alive. Even the maknaes had looked up, smiling as they took in just how pretty their hyung looked. Yeonjun thought they looked adorable, their heads popping up like meerkats. Yeonjun was far too weak for his dongsaengs.

"Do you like it?" Soobin asked, biting his lip in the way that he always did when he was uncertain.

"You look great, hyung!" Taehyun said, and Beomgyu nodded his head in earnest agreement.

"Yah, is my Soobinnie shy? Does he need a Hueningkai Hug? Does he need Hueningie to tell him how cute he looks, hmmm?" Hueningkai said, in his best aegyo voice. Soobin smiled and rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed by the koala embrace Hyuka was giving him. Yeonjun could tell he was secretly pleased. The maknaes slowly filed out of the green room as they went to get changed, leaving just Yeonjun and Soobin and a handful of staff members who were busy doing whatever tasks they needed to complete. Yeonjun smiled at Soobin and patted his lap to indicate that Soobin should join him. The staff members didn't bat an eyelid, they were used to the members constant skinship, especially when it came to Yeonjun and Soobin. Yeonjun just couldn't help squeezing Soobin's doughy cheeks or smacking his ass any opportunity he got. Sue him, he's an ass man at heart.

"You haven't said anything, hyung." Soobin said gently, folding himself up as small as he could as he sat between Yeonjun's legs, back pressed tightly against his sternum. Yeonjun pressed a kiss to Soobin's temple, it was as close as he could get to his real desire to smother Soobin in kisses until he was a giggling mess.

"I thought it was obvious, darling. How many times do I have to tell you that you are always the most beautiful person in the room to me, huh?" Soobin squeaked and covered his face with his hands, but even that couldn't hide the grin that was lighting up his face. Yeonjun loved making Soobin blush, seeing him flustered and imagining all the ways he could fluster the boy if only Soobin loved him back. Moments like this, where Soobin couldn't hide his joy at Yeonjun's praises and comforts, Yeonjun hoped. But he never wanted Soobin to feel uncomfortable, so he would wait and see if Soobin ever wanted Yeonjun the way Yeonjun wanted him.

"You're sure the purple suits me, hyung?" Soobin asked once his blush had faded from tomato red to a rose glow. Yeonjun booped their noses together, wanting to hear the melodious sound of Soobin's giggles.

"You could be bald and wearing a bin bag and you'd still be pretty. But if you really need me to tell you, then yes, it suits you. You look prettier than I could ever imagine and the whole world will fall in love with you, bun."

"I don't need the world, hyung. Just one." Yeonjun's heart filled up with hope.

Three: Comfort Him

Yeonjun could tell something was wrong. He had a sixth sense when it came to his dongsaengs, always able to feel when they were in distress of hiding something from him. Years of living together, and Yeonjun looking after the baby brothers he had always wanted, meant he always knew. And something was wrong with Soobin.

They had a whole day of dance practice for Blue Hour, and Yeonjun always made sure that his dongsaengs never practiced on a completely empty stomach. After heating up a collection of leftovers from the fridge, Yeonjun made everyone sit and eat. They all grumbled about the early start, Beomgyu moaning that he'd only had two hours sleep. Taehyun quickly reminded him that it was his own fault for playing video games until four in the morning. As Yeonjun listened to the chatter, he noticed that Soobin wasn't eating. He was pushing his food around his plate clearly in an attempt to pretend that he was eating, but Yeonjun wasn't that easy to fool. Still, he knew Soobin would come to him in time so he decided to give him a little space. He packed extra protein bars in his backpack to give to Soobin when his hunger inevitably struck during dance practice. Soobin was quiet as they walked to the studio, hands stuffed in his padded coat and a far away look on his face. Soobin got cold easily so Yeonjun wrapped his arm around Soobin's waist as they walked, Soobin relaxing into the hold like he'd been waiting for it. Yeonjun pressed a kiss to Soobin's cheek and was rewarded with a bunny toothed smile.

"You okay, bunny?" Yeonjun asked, voice low so as not to draw the attention of the maknaes. Beomgyu was a notorious eavesdropper.

"I'm fine, hyung. Just a little tired."

"I packed extra snacks in case you needed an energy boost. Tell hyung if you need to rest, okay? Don't be an idiot and wait until it's too late."

Choi Soobin, was in fact, an idiot. Yeonjun had noticed as he slowly got paler and paler throughout rehearsals, he'd asked consistently if Soobin was okay but was given the same answer of "Yes, hyung." But as they were practicing the dance break, Yeonjun turned away from Soobin as he did his partnered dance with Beomgyu, he heard a loud thump. He spun around to find Soobin splayed on the floor, eyes closed and body limp. The four of them acted immediately, running over to figure out what had happened.

"Taehyun, what happened?" Yeonjun asked, his voice urgent as he went to feel Soobin's forehead. It was damp with sweat and worryingly hot.

"I don't know, hyung! I tried to catch him but it all happened so fast, one second he was dancing and the next his eyes were rolling back and he dropped to the floor before I could do anything! I'm so sorry, hyung-"

"Nothing to be sorry for Taehyun-ah, you couldn't have known. I knew he was sick this morning, I should have made him stay home. I'm the one that should be sorry." The maknaes were sat around Soobin, stroking his arms and his head. Hueningkai had layed down on his side next to Soobin, rubbing his belly like he always did when the members were sick. But they needed to act, Soobin was clearly a lot sicker than he had let on and Yeonjun knew this wasn't something that he could just sleep off. He'd messed up not acting sooner, but he was going to do everything he could to help him now.

"Beomgyu, call the protocol team and tell them Soobin has fainted and we need to get Soobin to hospital urgently. Hyuka, grab some clothes from our spares and put them under his head so he's in a more comfortable position, keep talking to him to try and rouse him. Taehyun, go back to the dorm and pack a few things for me to take with me to the hospital."

"Aren't we all coming?" Beomgyu asked, biting his lip like he always did when he was anxious.

"No, you guys have had a long day of practice and you have school tomorrow, I'll look after Soobinnie the whole time, you know I will. Now go!" Yeonjun didn't plan to take his eyes off Soobin for even a second.

It was almost 5 am by the time they got back to the dorms. Soobin had had IV fluids and plenty of fever reducing medication and painkillers. Eventually he was allowed to go home to rest, the doctors deciding it was a particularly nasty case of the flu. Soobin had slept on his shoulder the whole car ride home, clearly exhausted and in need of a few days bed rest. Yeonjun tried to rouse Soobin when they arrived at their dorm, but he only got a sniffle and a whine in response, Soobin choosing to nuzzle in closer to Yeonjun.

"Binnie, can you walk?" Yeonjun asked, even though he knew the answer. He undid Soobin's seatbelt, put Soobin's arms around his neck and lifted his thighs up.

"Hyungie is stroooonnnggg." Soobin mumbled into Yeonjun's shoulder. Yeonjun smiled, Soobin was cute even when he was sick. Probably cuter.

"Uh huh, Hyungie is strong because he has to carry big bunny rabbits." Yeonjun said, kissing Soobin's head and cheek just because he wanted to.

"But I'm hyungs baby bunny." Soobin grumbled, trying to glare up at Yeonjun but only achieving a hazy eyed gaze and very cute pout. Yeonjun had to try extremely hard not to coo at the boy in his arms, reminding himself that Soobin was sick and not in his right mind.

"Of course, darling. You may have grown a little bigger than me, but you'll always be my baby." Soobin seemed content at that answer, his eyes slipping shut again. The maknaes were waiting at the front door to open it, eager to see that their hyung was all in one piece.

"I thought I told you kids to go to sleep, hm?" Yeonjun scolded quietly, but secretly grateful that they were there to open the doors for him. He was strong but he wasn't that strong.

"We wanted to make sure he was okay! We have slept a bit, but we were worried something was really, really wrong!" Taehyun said, helping Yeonjun to lay a sleeping Soobin down on Yeonjun's bed.

"When have I ever not looked after my dongsaengs, hm? You know hyung will always take care of you, okay? I'm going to look after Soobin so well he'll be sick of me by the time he's better." Yeonjun said, smiling when Hueningkai returned from his room with a Molang plushie, placing it gently in Soobin's arms and tucking the duvet around him.

"Soobin hyung will never get sick of you. It's almost unbelievable, but it's true!" Beomgyu said, poking Yeonjun in the side, Yeonjun elbowed him in the arm in response but couldn't hide the smile that the first part of the sentence caused.

"Yah, I've had enough of you lot, I need to sleep before I pass out like Soobinnie. Off to bed, all of you!" Yeonjun shooed them out of his room before making quick work of getting them ready for bed. He grabbed some sweatpants and a tank top for himself and decided to just pull Soobin's jeans off since he couldn't get Soobin to sit up long enough to change his top. He set water and Soobin's tablets on the bedside table and made sure the bin was in close reach just in case Soobin vomited again like he had in the hospital. He crawled in behind Soobin, wrapping his arms around his waist and nuzzling the nape of Soobin's neck. Relieved that Soobin was safe in his arms, knowing he wouldn't let a single hair on his head be hurt if he could help it. He would go to the ends of the Earth to protect Soobin, his life without Soobin would be a half life. So he kissed Soobin's neck, more for his own comfort than Soobin's and shut his eyes to sleep.

"Night, baby. I'm right here if you need anything." Yeonjun murmured.

"Hyungie is the best. Love hyung soooo much." Yeonjun smiled against the clammy skin of Soobin's nape. Once again, his heart was a hopeful thing.

"Hyung loves you too."

Four: Protect Him

Soobin was incredibly shy pre-debut. Yeonjun always found it sort of fascinating to watch as he changed into a whole other person while performing on stage. He wasn't sure which the true Soobin was, the shy and timid Soobin, or the confident and assured Soobin, or maybe the true Soobin was simply a mix of the both. Yeonjun didn't mind either way. He liked Soobin, and he knew it was more than friends. He loved and looked out for all his dongsaengs, but it always felt different with Soobin. He didn't feel like an older brother like he was to the maknaes, the way he felt for Soobin was the furthest thing from brotherly. Yeonjun didn't know what to do with all the feelings he was holding inside and most of the time he didn't have the time or energy to even think about them. But when the lights were off and all he could hear was the sound of four other boys breathing, he let the thoughts creep in. Thoughts of holding Soobin's soft hand in his, of lying next to him close enough to count each individual eyelash, of making him blush from his head to the tip of his toes, to kiss those plush lips and maybe even leave a bruise behind his ear. Sometimes it was completely and utterly consuming, but Yeonjun would let it consume him before he ever risked what the five of them had. What the five of them were heading towards. Debut was mere months away now, the one thing they had dreamt of for so long. The five of them had not shed literal blood, sweat, and tears for Yeonjun to mess it up just because he had a crush on a boy. Even if he dreamt every night of sparkling eyes and the cutest bunny smile he had ever seen.

Yeonjun was on his way to practice when he heard low, angry whispers coming from the alcove between the lockers and the end of the corridor. It was an infamous make out spot and usually Yeonjun would ignore any and every noise he heard coming from there. But this sounded different, and he swore he could hear a small, scared whimpering. The words became clearer as he got closer and his stomach sank like a lead weight.

"You think you're better than everybody just because you're in that stupid group, huh? I doubt you'll make it to debut, everyone here is more talented than you but you walk around like you're the fucking Queen. Not quite so brave without the back up of your hyung now, are we?" Yeonjun could hear Soobin's loud breathing and the sound of him trying to stifle his sobs. He saw red.

"Luckily, his hyung is right here." Yeonjun said, revelling in the horrified look on the boys face as Yeonjun grabbed a hold of his backpack to spin him round.

"Sunbae- Yeon- I- this isn't... he started it..."

"Cat got your tongue, Hyunoo? You seemed so confident just a second ago, but obviously that's only when you're bullying someone younger and smaller than you. What was it you were saying again? That Soobin has no talent?" Yeonjun asked, although it was more of a statement.

"I didn't mean it like that. He just thinks he's better than everyone else Sunbae and-"

"He is better than everyone else. Especially assholes like you. Soobin has more talent in his pinky finger than you have in your entire body. And as well as being incredibly talented, he's a nice person. He's kind, and gentle, and sensitive, and never makes people feel like shit. You could learn a lot from him. It's a shame that you won't ever debut, even if you had talent, I'll be reporting you to every agency I know." Yeonjun saw Hyunoo's eyes go from scared to angry, straightening up to his full height that was still smaller than Yeonjun.

"Just because you're desperately in love with that whore-" Yeonjun punched him straight in his stomach. Then kicked his shin so that he fell to the floor. He grabbed hold of Soobin's hand pulling him from the corner and striding down the hallway back to their dorm.

"Never call him that again." He said, his voice so low it was almost a growl. They left him lying on the floor, Yeonjun would sort out that problem later, right now Soobin needed him.

They walked quickly, not speaking until they were safely inside the dorm. The maknaes would have gone to practice but Yeonjun would worry about their missed class later, as well. He turned to Soobin and saw his eyes wet with tears.

"You're alright. Hyungs got you." He murmured as Soobin fell into his arms. Finally his sobs broke free and he tucked his face into the crook of Yeonjun's neck, shaking so hard that Yeonjun worried he might fall apart. Yeonjun picked him up gently, something he had done a number of times before to get the boy into bed. Soobin didn't even seem to notice, his cries forming cracks in Yeonjun's heart. He lay them down on the couch, Soobin laying on top of him and resting his head on Yeonjun's chest. Yeonjun held one arm tightly around his waist, and used his free arm to run his fingers through Soobin's hair.

"You're safe now, Soobinnie. Everything's okay. Hyung is right here." Yeonjun repeated similar sentences over and over again until Soobin had quietened, his tears dry on his face but wet on Yeonjun's shirt.

"I'm so sorry for being such a baby. God, this is embarrassing." Soobin said, looking close to tears again but for a different reason. Yeonjun wasn't going to allow that.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Bunny," the name slipped out without him realising, but seeing a tiny smile on Soobin's face put him at ease, "That was a really shitty and scary situation and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I wish I had been faster in getting to you." Yeonjun said, pressing the lightest kiss to Soobin's forehead. Soobin simply nuzzled further into his chest and Yeonjun could have sworn he stopped breathing.

"It's not your fault, hyung. Besides, he wasn't exactly wrong, I'm nowhere near as talented as you are-"

"I'm going to stop you right there. I was being honest when I said you had more talent than that idiot could dream of having. You dance like you were born to do it, I wish I could fall asleep to your voice every night, you are maybe the prettiest person I've ever met. You are kind, and thoughtful, and you're going to be a great leader. I'm honoured to be debuting with you." Soobin tried to hide his grin against Yeonjun's chest, but his smile was so wide it was impossible fo hide.

"Hyung, you can't just say stuff like that. I don't even know what to say. Thank you. Thank you so much for looking after me, for encouraging me, for making me believe in myself. I don't know what I'd do without you as my hyung." Yeonjun cuddled him so tightly as if trying to make their two bodies into one. He wanted to keep Soobin inside of him, where no one could hurt him ever again. But he would be there for Soobin no matter what, and that would just have to be enough.

"You'll never have to find out, my Soobinnie."

Five: Love Him

Yeonjun had a habit of kissing Soobin. On his head, his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, anywhere he could reach on the younger boy. It was a well established habit, and a noticeable one at that, considering the amount of compilations MOAs had made of him doing it. And that was just the times caught on camera. Yeonjun just couldn't help himself, sometimes his feelings got the better of him, no matter how hard he tried to fight them. He'd tried for years, but there he was, preparing for their 7th album and still as hopelessly in love as he had been when they debuted. It almost felt like a companion at that point, his unrequited love a constant presence, and he'd made his peace with it. That's what he tried to tell himself anyway. All the members had been preparing diligently for the new album, composing and producing and writing almost the entirety of it. Yeonjun knew that it was almost finished, knew that they just needed that one final song. And he'd written one, a really fucking good song. But it was good because it was too honest, too raw, too full of his complete and undying love for Choi Soobin.

The maknaes knew how he felt about Soobin, they were far more intelligent than Yeonjun could ever hope to be, and he admired their quick wit and observational skills. He had spilled his guts out to them after the four of them watched Soobin on MusicBank being so obviously flirted with that Yeonjun couldn't hold back his jealousy. He switched the tv off, grabbed a beer for all of them, and spoke. Yeonjun could tell it came as no surprise to them, he knew that they must have figured it out years ago, but they tried to pretend it was a shock and Yeonjun at least appreciated their efforts. That was why he could go to them now, with this song that held his whole heart inside of it.

"Hyung, this is a masterpiece!" Hyuka clapped after listening to it, his eyes shining up at Yeonjun with so much admiration inside of them it almost made him cry. He loved those kids so damn much, he knew that they were adults, but they'd always be his little brothers.

"Thanks, Ning-ah. I was only able to properly compose it thanks to your teachings." Hueningkai grinned at him. The other two were quiet, their faces tense with concentration. Yeonjun was used to this process, they took music very seriously and it always took a while for them to gather their thoughts. A few minutes later, Taehyun spoke.

"It's about Soobin hyung, isn't it?" He asked. Yeonjun didn't reply, only nodded and looked down at his hands, unable to meet the younger's eyes.

"Do you think you could sing this with him, hyung? Could you get up on that stage, and sing like this isn't about a boy you're head over heels in love with who also happens to be on the stage with you? This song is brilliant, and it's kind of killing me to say this, but I don't think we can put it on the album." Beomgyu said, reaching across the table to hold Yeonjun's hand. His eyes earnest, searching for any pain he may have accidentally caused.

"I know we've had this conversation so many times, hyung, but I really think you need to tell Soobin hyung now." Taehyun said, his voice gentler than it usually was.

"You know my answer, Taehyun-ah. This group, you guys, are everything to me. I'm not going to risk what-"

"I know you're the oldest, I know you carry the world on your shoulders, I know that you will always put the four of us before yourself, but we're okay, hyung. We've released 6 albums, we've celebrated our 3rd anniversary, our team is stronger than I could have ever imagined. And that's thanks to you and Soobin hyung. I think it's time you were a little bit selfish. There's nothing the five of us can't handle, but I can see your heart break every time you look at Soobin. It's killing you, hyung, and it's killing Soobin hyung too. The three of us have talked this through over and over and we have only ever come to one conclusion: you should be together." Yeonjun was going to cry. Part of it was relief. It was a confirmation that everything Yeonjun and Soobin had worked so hard for had paid off: they'd raised their dongsaengs well. Every year Yeonjun watched them grow and change and mature and evolve into people that he felt so privileged to know. The kids really were alright. Not just alright, but right. It was time. He'd known for a while now that his excuses were not what was keeping him from Soobin, it was his fear. Fear that, despite what his dongsaengs told him, Soobin might reject him. But he had raised such fearless kids, surely there was some of that bravery in him too.

"You're right, as usual. I need to tell Soobin, I've spent enough time being a coward. But if he shatters my heart into a million pieces, you're all buying me gifts to make up for your terrible advice!" Yeonjun was only half joking. The maknaes only smiled up at him, their eyes lit up with anticipation.

"I'll give you every Molang I own if Soobin rejects you! That's as serious as it gets, hyung." Hyuka said solemnly, and Yeonjun couldn't resist smiling and ruffling his hair.

"When are you going to do it, hyung?" Beomgyu asked, the tiniest hint of scepticism in his voice.

"Now. I'm feeling brave and I need to take advantage of that, I don't want to give myself time to back out." Yeonjun said, his mind was made up.

"Good luck, hyung. Not that you'll need it but... good luck anyways. We'll stay out of the dorm for the next few hours so you can have some privacy." Taehyun said, reaching out to hug Yeonjun's middle before quickly pulling away. Yeah, the kids were alright.

Soobin was curled up on the couch watching Netflix when Yeonjun got back to the dorms. He'd walked as fast as he could with complete tunnel vision, convinced that he would back out at the tiniest opportunity. But seeing Soobin lying with fluffy hair and one cheek squished against the sofa, an oversized hoodie on and slightly red eyes, Yeonjun had never been more in love.

"Hyung! I thought you were going to be with the maknaes in the studio all day!" Soobin said, smiling up at him as Yeonjun toed his shoes off.

"I needed to tell you something so I left them to it." Yeonjun forced a smile in return but couldn't quite meet Soobin's eyes.

"What is it, hyung? Are you okay?" Soobin asked, a mixture of confusion and concern in his face. He was pouting and Yeonjun felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

"I'm fine. I just... come with me to the maknaes' room, I want to play you a song I wrote." Yeonjun said, starting down the hallway before he even got a reply. But he heard Soobin's shuffling behind him and knew he was following.

"Is it for the album?" Soobin asked, sounding excited. Yeonjun made a non commital noise before opening the bedroom door and sitting down at the piano stool. Soobin sat with his legs crossed on Taehyun's bed, eyes alight with anticipation.

"I need you to promise me one thing."

"Of course, Hyungie."

"Just let me play the whole song, no interruptions, just listen and hear what I say. Okay?"

"Okay, are you trying to teach me a lesson, hyung?" Soobin laughed.

"Yeah, Binnie, the most important lesson I could teach you." And before Soobin could answer, he began to play.

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

When he finished playing, he was scared to turn around. But then he heard sniffling and immediately knelt down in front of Soobin.

"What's wrong, Soobinnie? Did you not like the song?" Yeonjun asked, cupping Soobin's face and pressing a kiss to his forehead. Soobin shook his head, full on sobbing at that point. And even though tears were running down his face and he was sniffling like crazy, he was still so completely and utterly perfect.

"I've been w-waiting so fucking l-long for you, Hyungie. But I didn't ever imagine in my wildest dreams that you would write the most beautiful song in the world for me. I'm just plain Choi Soobin, and I know that, but I want you so badly I don't even know what to do-" Yeonjun stopped his rambling by kissing him. A kiss he had thought about thousands of times in the last 4 years, a kiss that he had dreamt about every night and had occupied almost every daydream. And even though Soobin's lips were wet from tears, it was everything. Soobin let out a quiet whimper when Yeonjun ran his tongue across the seam of his lips, asking for permission. Soobin's mouth opened pliantly and Yeonjun felt a rush of power and love and lust. God, now he knew what it was like to kiss Choi Soobin, he would never be able to stop. Somehow in between their fevered kissing, Soobin was lying down with Yeonjun hovering over him, elbows either side of Soobin's ears. Yeonjun started to kiss Soobin's jaw and down his neck, relishing in the moan Soobin let out when he bit gently behind his ear.

"You're so good for hyung, bun. I love you so fucking much." Yeonjun took several breaths, trying to clear his head for just a minute. Soobin did the same too, taking deep breaths while clinging onto Yeonjun's shirt like he was afraid Yeonjun would leave.

"Is this okay, Binnie?" Yeonjun asked, realising too late that he hadn't gotten verbal consent before acting.

"Okay? Hyung, this is everything I've ever wanted but it feels like a dream. Is this real, hyung? Is this finally... are we finally... are we a we now?" Soobin was so cute when he stumbled over his last sentence and Yeonjun couldn't keep the grin off his face, leaning down to press kisses against both of his cheeks.

"I hope we're a we, because I'm so in love with you that it's actually embarrassing. I have loved you for so many years and I would like to be your boyfriend. I might actually die if you say no. You can still say no though-" Soobin cut him off with a peck to the cheek and just smiled and nodded, his bunny teeth on full display. Yeonjun felt like his heart would burst, unable to contain just how much he loved Choi Soobin.

"You're so cute, Soobinnie." Yeonjun said, running his hands through Soobin's hair as he just looked at him. He was no longer looking at Soobin, friend, colleague, leader. He was looking at Soobin his boyfriend, his soulmate. Yeonjun was positive that his eyes were shining with pure adoration.

"Hyung! You're making me shy!" Soobin giggled, hiding his face in the crook of Yeonjun's neck. Yeonjun adjusted them so that his back was against the headboard of the bed, Soobin on his lap with his face still tucked safely into Yeonjun's neck. His breath tickled Yeonjun, and he fleetingly remembered they were in the maknaes room but all of it seemed so unimportant when he had his entire universe in his arms.

"You're even cuter when you're shy though, baby." Yeonjun heard Soobin let out a little squeak when he said that, could feel his cheeks heat against his neck and he pressed a kiss to the top of Soobin's head, unable to contain a satisfied grin.

"You like that name, huh, Soobinnie? You like being hyungs baby, hmm?" Yeonjun was teasing but he felt Soobin nod slightly and tried to contain the heady rush that information gave him.

"If you keep this up, hyung, I'm going to have melted into a puddle by the time the maknaes return." He lifted his head up, pouting at Yeonjun although he wasn't actually mad. Yeonjun couldn't resist kissing him, his hands moving from their place on Soobin's lower back to the nape of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Soobin was still a little hesitant, his lips a little uncertain. It made Yeonjun ridiculously pleased to know that he was going to be all of Soobin's first.

"The maknaes!" Soobin gasped, pulling abruptly away from Yeonjun, leaving him briefly chasing the younger boys lips.

"Wow, Soobin. Are my kisses so boring already that you're thinking about the kids while we make out?" Yeonjun asked, laughing at Soobin's startled reaction.

"No, no! It's just, what will the maknaes think? Oh fuck, we're in their bedroom! We have been making out on the kids' bed! What are we doing hyung-"

"The maknaes are the ones that forced me to confess. They have given us their complete and total blessing. Although we probably should move from their bed." Yeonjun added a little sheepishly.

"They did? You're sure they won't be mad?" Soobin asked, unable to meet Yeonjun's eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I played them my song and they instantly knew it was about you. They think it should go on the album, but they knew I'd never be able to perform it on stage without having confessed to you. They just want us to be happy, Binnie. I think we all know it's time."

"I might actually explode if we performed that together on stage. One look from you and it would be all over."

"Good to know I have such power over you, baby." Soobin squeaked again, tucking his face as close to Yeonjun's neck as he could. Yeonjun put a hand under each of Soobin's thighs and lifted, Soobin automatically wrapping his arms around Yeonjun's neck and his legs around his waist.

"Hyung! Put me down! I'm way too heavy!" Soobin yelped as Yeonjun made his way to his own bedroom.

"Yah, why do you think I always win at arm wrestling? Hyung is very strong. You're not heavy, baby, you're just fine." He pressed a kiss to Soobin's cheek.

"I'm too big and heavy, hyung. I hate it."

"There shall be no slander of my baby in this house! You're perfect, bunny, you're perfect for me." He spun around with the younger boy in his arms just to show how easy it was for him to carry Soobin.

"That's really hot, hyung." Soobin said absentmindedly. Yeonjun stopped inside the threshold of his bedroom, shutting the door and leaning Soobin up against it. He'd gone mere minutes without kissing Soobin and it was already too long. He pressed his lips against Soobin's, no longer gentle but hungry. He nipped at Soobin's bottom lip, Soobin letting out the most beautiful whimper. Yeonjun took the opportunity to push his tongue into Soobin's mouth, kissing him like his life depended on it. The kiss was wet and messy and better than anything Yeonjun could have ever imagined. He started to kiss down Soobin's neck, wet and hot kisses trailing down to his collar bone. He sucked marks onto Soobin's skin, hard enough to leave a trace, as Soobin let out a symphony of the hottest sounds he'd ever heard in his life.

"So pretty, bunny. You're so good for hyung, look how pliant you are. Hyung's making you feel good, hm?" Yeonjun was rambling, barely aware of what he was saying as he sucked a hickey behind Soobin's ear.

"So good, hyung. You're so strong." Soobin replied in between gasps, tightening his legs around Yeonjun's waist as if to prove his point.

"You like being held, don't you, my Soobinnie?" Yeonjun whispered into his ear, before nipping at his earlobe. Soobin nodded enthusiastically.

"You like feeling small, my pretty baby. Like hyungs strong muscles so you know I can put you wherever I want. I bet I could even fuck you against the wall, baby. You'd like that wouldn't you? To be all pretty and pliant in hyung's arms while I do all the hard work, hm?" Yeonjun had no idea where all of that had come from, but years of wet dreams and abundant imagination had clearly built up inside of him.

Soobin just nodded in agreement, mumbling yes and please and hyung in between searing kisses. Yeonjun eventually threw Soobin down onto his bed, climbing on top of him as they lost themselves in each other. Nothing existed outside of their bubble. Just Yeonjun and Soobin, together at last.

+1

"I miss your cuddles, hyung." Soobin pouted at his phone screen. The little image of Yeonjun was nowhere near as good as the real thing. Yeonjun had been in isolation for less than a week and Soobin felt like he'd had his arm cut off. Life without his boyfriend was practically unbearable and all he wanted was to be the little spoon and fall asleep nestled in his hyungs arms.

"Aigoo, baby. I miss you even more, the bed feels so empty without you in it. Being away from you is far harder than this stupid illness. Plus, I'm so damn bored! I feel like I've watched every show on Netflix." Soobin hated feeling so useless while his poor boyfriend was sick and alone. At least Soobin was surrounded by his dongsaengs and distracted by work, he had it far easier.

"I have to go to sleep now, Hyungie. I'm sorry but dance practice is ridiculously early-"

"You don't need to explain yourself, darling. Sleep well, I love you so much and I can't wait until I can see you again." Yeonjun said, blowing endless kisses at his phone screen until a giggling Soobin ended the call. Soobin looked over at Odi, his head peeking out of an oven glove, feeling sad that he couldn't cuddle the hedgehog to sleep either. Reluctantly he curled up in his bed and pulled the Molang plushie Hueningkai had leant him tightly against his chest.

From: Hyungie🥰

Sleep well, baby. 💗

To: Hyungie🥰

Get better quickly please😡 I love you.

Soobin knew that Yeonjun was always taking care of him, and Soobin adored being doted on just as much. But his boyfriend was sick, and for once it was his turn to take care of Yeonjun. He fell asleep dreaming of how to take care of someone when said someone was in quarantine.

"Coming, coming!" Yeonjun called from the other side of the door. Once Soobin was satisfied that his hyung was headed for the door, he took several steps back until he was a satisfactory distance away. The door opened and Yeonjun appeared in an all grey outfit, the tshirt Yeonjun was wearing almost distracted Soobin thanks to the way it showed off his biceps. How did Yeonjun still look so hot even when wearing a mask after he'd spent the day sick in bed?

"Baby! Don't come any closer, you're not allowed to get sick because I will not follow the rules because I refuse to stay away from you when you're sick!" Yeonjun was so busy shooing Soobin away, he didn't notice the basket that Soobin had left in front of his door.

"I'm not, Hyungie! I'm just delivering a care basket because I want to look after you and this is the only way I know how!" Soobin laughed, just seeing his boyfriend in the flesh was enough to lift his mood.

He'd spent all day collecting things for Yeonjun, things to keep him busy and remind him of the dorm.

"You didn't have to do all this, Soobinnie! I'm fine! But that's really sweet of you, thank you!" Yeonjun said, smiling as he picked up the basket.

"It was my idea, but the dongsaengs helped out once I told them. I can look after you too sometimes!" Hueningkai had rather enthusiastically shoved several plushies into the basket, insisting that it was impossible to recover without the help of a rabbit, bear, chipmunk, and penguin companion. Soobin had tried to convince him that Yeonjun didn't need all four, but then Hueningkai had looked him dead in the eye and asked him which dongsaeng he liked the least and Soobin quickly gave up and put all four in the basket. Taehyun had put in a foam roller and weights, making it almost impossible for Soobin to carry, insisting that "the scariest thing is muscle loss.". Beomgyu was last, piling in an assortment of every ramyeon brand and flavour he could find as well as a neatly folded up piece of paper with "Beomgyu's Playlist For Yeonjun Hyung" written on it and for once Soobin put his nosiness aside and didn't look at the notes' content. The basket was almost overflowing at that point, but Soobin managed to fit in the things he'd wanted to include: a hoodie that they'd both worn so often Soobin wasn't sure of it's original owner, the framed picture of the five of them that Yeonjun kept next to his bed, some vitamins and herbal remedies so Yeonjun could get well sooner, the egg tarts he'd spent all day making because he knew they were his favourite, and a sappy entry from one of Soobin's journals from their Eternity promotions which professed Soobin's desire for Yeonjun to love him back and also to fuck him because he looked so sexy performing Puma with that lip ring. What? Soobin was a man of versatility. He knew Yeonjun would appreciate having his ego boosted, and Soobin really would do anything to make his boyfriend feel better. Despite the giant and heavy basket he'd ended up bringing, he couldn't help but smile at the thoughtfulness of his members, making sure Yeonjun knew he was loved and missed. It wasn't much, not compared to the thousands of things his hyung had done to care for him, but that didn't matter. He'd done as much as he could when being physically cut off from his boyfriend, it would have to do. And judging by the huge grin on Yeonjun's face as he picked out each individual item, nothing but adoration in his eyes, Yeonjun was more than satisfied.

"I love you, Hyungie. Get better really quickly because I miss you and your cuddles." Soobin said, not even caring that he was pouting. Yeonjun smirked, Soobin's diary entry clutched in his hands.

"Are you sure it's just my cuddles you miss, baby?"

"You know what? Never mind. I officially hate you now." Soobin crossed his arms, pout fully on show. Yeonjun only laughed which made Soobin pout even more.

"I'm just kidding, Binnie. I miss cuddling you so much and no amount of plushies can make up for that. Even if this bunny rabbit is very cute." Yeonjun said, words soaked in adoration.

"Cuter than me?" Soobin asked.

"Never. You are the cutest bunny in the whole world, my Soobinnie." Soobin blushed and it took everything inside of him not to fling himself into his boyfriends arms.

"Hyungieeeee, you can't say that stuff when I'm not allowed to kiss you."

"It's killing me too, darling, don't worry. But it will just make it all the sweeter when I have you in my arms again." Yeonjun blew a kiss in Soobin's direction, and for once Soobin played along, catching the kiss in mid air and holding it to his chest before sending one right back.

"Sap." He muttered lovingly.

"Only for you."