tuesday
22 september 2020
1:30 am

since this is a 'stories and recollections' book, you'll literally be hearing me talking about true stories and incidents from my own life. so don't expect much poetry and/or logical accounts from me. just saying ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a few days ago, *checks date and day on whatsapp chat* more specifically 30th of august, a miracle took place.

in the autumn of 2017, i met my now soulmate. i call her my soulmate because no matter how many fights, ugly and highly insulting arguments and disagreements we've been through, we always managed to make it through.

they say only two entities are worthy of a true mo'min's love-Allah, and those He loves. this girl has been worth everything.

i keep getting sidetracked. *sigh*

okay, back to 2017. i met her in the fall of that year. the two of us were waiting for our rides to come pick us up after our mid-term exam. she had this giant binder full of paintings, drawings, amazing stuff i tell you. i was a fan right then and there. she asked me for water (it was hot) and then we started talking. i felt like i'd known her for forever. conversations flowed easily and steadily, we had a lot in common in regards to our families, grades, etc.

we were in oiii at the time, as in the third year of olevels. there was one major problem however-we belonged to different sections. nevertheless, we managed to keep up through instagram. we went days without talking, and then caught up on each other's lives in the span of one night. however, we hardly talked in person because of our differing timetables.

olevels ended and alevels began. i stayed in garrison (an army school) while she moved to a branch of LGS. only communicating through a phone and hardly seeing each other, we were closer than ever. talking EVERY SINGLE DAY, narrating every event in our not-so-boring lives, still being active and never losing the spirit. there were a few bumps along the way, but we realised it wasn't worth breaking off a perfect friendship for.

i managed to go meet her last year, i think in around december, when a really... nice male friend offered to drive me to her college (and yes, my mum knew).

it was a dream come true. i met her after years and we were talking as if we'd been together for ages. *sigh*

however, just after the february of this year, we encountered some turbulence in our lives. they say best friends do everything together, and indeed this we did do together. after that, we both kind of went through a phase of becoming distant/lonely, so slowly all conversation began to dissipate. i was angry at her and she was angry at me for we weren't talking like before and things just were not the same anymore.

it got so bad-us arguing back and forth-that i believed this was endgame. we'd never be able to be normal friends again. then again, normal wasn't ever the right word to describe our friendship. it was all kinds of crazy-but i loved it and i wouldn't switch it up for anything in this world.

in around april, we cut off contact.

not even a hi/bye type of thing. we just stopped talking. i don't remember if she did it first or me, but that was it for us.

just last month, we mutually decided to give it a shot and subhan Allah, i found out she applied in the same university as me. even though we did not talk to each other at all during the university applications wala phase, and unknowingly ended up choosing the same universities.

just the thought of being in the same building as her after FOUR years of separation is a breath of fresh air to me. i couldn't stop squealing and laughing and neither could she, we were so undescribably happy alhamdulilah. pictures we'd take together, the food we'd order, the restaurants we'd sneak out to, spending a day in each other's company.

i'm just amazed and marvelling over how during a time when i was going through mental turbulence and wasn't in the right state of mind, Allah SWT sent me my friend back with a good news that meant the world to me. i was dreading the thought of going to university because of all the making new friends/lectures/pressure of a good GPA, but to know that i have her beside me is a balm to my heart.

we think our Lord has abandoned us and left us to fend for ourselves, yet He's working in such miraculous ways, and gives us what we need more than what we want. i had no intention of patching up with her, but something in me pushed me to do so and clear the air.

there's a lot i'm awaiting right now that i don't prefer mentioning here. but whenever impatience gets the better of me, i remind myself that if it's not working right now, He probably had something better in store for me and my patience will be rewarded. that is what keeps me going.

[update: GUYS SHE'S AayetMirza AND I LOVE HER]