Laila

I sat the counter in the kitchen, watching Justin's retreating back, wondering what on Earth just happened. Unless I was much mistaken, we'd just gotten into a fight. And as much as I hated to admit defeat to Justin Richards, he'd been right…to an extent.

 Of course I knew that life wasn’t easy and that it wasn’t all fun and games. Of course I did. But clearly he didn’t see that’s why I read so many books all of the time in the first place.

 It was because I liked to escape reality more often than not and just forget all of my own problems for a while. And I was beginning to think that perhaps that was something that Justin and I had in common.

 Not the reading books thing, but the forgetting our problems thing.

 “Are you all right, Laila?”

I glanced up at Laurence and felt more than embarrassed.

He was still standing there in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, a slightly concerned look on his face.

 “I’m fine, Laurence,” I said, averting my eyes. “I’m sorry that you had to break that up, though.”

 Laurence chuckled. “Well, I can say it definitely made my day hearing my son shouting insults in the morning, but I’m used to it. I know he can be a bit hard to handle.”

 A bit hard to handle? A bit hard to handle?

 “Yeah, well…nothing’s really changed between us, has it?” I said, more to myself.

Laurence fell silent and a thoughtful look came across his face.

 “No, I don’t think that’s true,” he said after a moment. “I don’t think that’s true at all. You’re both completely different from when you knew each other before. Things were bound to change. I just think you both need to open your eyes and realize that.”

 And with those rather confusing words, Laurence left, heading back up the stairs, leaving me behind in what no doubt was a cloud of befuddlement.

   I sighed, dropping my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes. Maybe Nick and Avery and the other guys had been right in saying that Justin really wasn't that bad of a person. Maybe he was even really a nice guy.

 Maybe Laurence was right, and that I needed to get my head out of the past.

I’d had problems with that before and it had never gotten me anywhere, so what good was doing that going to bring me now?

  But if that was true, then what was I supposed to do now?

 It'd been a herculean task, getting myself to admit that I actually harbored feelings for my old rival/playmate. But at the same time, I still thought he was a big, insipid jerk and I wanted to hit him with one of my books.

 Was “liking” a guy supposed to be like that?

I wouldn’t consider myself an expert on anything guy related. That title was better reserved for my one and only friend, Lissa Meyers.

 "Guys are way more complicated than they're worth," I muttered under my breath, sighing again.  

I slid off the bar stool, flicking off the TV and casting aside the remote, before I grabbed my copy of The Hunger Games and left the kitchen, marching up the stairs in a particularly foul mood.

  I was far too antsy to just go lounge around in the Gryffindor room and read a book. I'd never really been one to spend all day in front of the TV, so that wasn't an option. After a few minutes of contemplation, I just decided that I was going to ditch reading for a while and go outside.

   It was a bit of a cloudy sort of day, I noted as I stepped outside, but the sun was still shining brightly, enough to make me squint for a moment to get used to it. After dropping The Hunger Games down on one of the chairs at the deck table, I took a deep breath and dived into the pool. The shock of freezing cold water biting at my skin cleared my mind almost instantly, which was what I'd been hoping for.

   When Mom had first told me that we would be spending the entire summer here with the Richards, I knew automatically that things were going to be beyond crazy. And, surprise, surprise, I hadn't been disappointed. But on this level? Yeah, that one I hadn't expected. Ever since I first started middle school I'd made a pact with myself that I wouldn't ever go gaga or fall head over heels for some guy. Guys were way more complicated and difficult to understand than most people made them out to be.

   I stayed under for as long as I could, hoping that the frigid water would knock some sense into me. But since breathing was a necessity, I didn't last very long. My head broke the surface of the water a second later as I gasped in mouthfuls of air.

   "Going for a little afternoon swim, are we?"

I glanced over in surprise towards the edge of the pool. My eyes widened when I saw that it was Kim taking a seat at the edge of the pool, dipping her bare feet into the water.

   "Helps me clear my head," I said, shrugging self-consciously.

Kim smiled. "Has there been a lot on your mind lately?"

  I eyed her wearily. It was if she was fully aware of just what was going on between her son and me.

I resisted the urge to laugh bitterly. "You could say that."

  Kim folded her hands in her lap, looking all prim and proper, and watched me as I started doing a few laps around the pool.

  Just as I was beginning to wonder what Kim was doing out here, when she could be spending time with my mom, she said, "Justin cares about you, you know."

  I pulled a sour face, pursing my lips, coming to a halt. "Yeah, right, Kim. You must have not heard that fight we just had."

 Kim grinned sympathetically. "I know he doesn't exactly have the most cheerful disposition in the world, but he does care."

  I bobbed my way over to the edge of the pool, leaning up against the ledge beside Kim.

    "What makes you say that?" I finally asked, trying not to sound too skeptical.

Kim sighed heavily.  "Oh, lots of reasons. Mainly because he actually watches what he says and does around you."

  "Yeah, I have a hard time believing that one," I blurted, thinking of what had just transpired between us in the kitchen.

  Kim laughed, fiddling with one of her platinum blonde curls. "You don't know him like we do, Laila. And I can honestly tell you that never once has Justin ever had any respect for women before.”

   "He doesn't respect me, Kim," I said heatedly. "I honestly think he despises me to within an inch of his life."

  A saddened, disappointed look flashed across Kim's face for half a second before she spoke again, this time in a much quieter, gentler tone.

  "Oh, Laila. You don't really believe that, do you?"

There was something in her tone of voice that made me stop and think about she was asking me.

   Did I really believe that?

I shook my head, dropping my eyes.

   "Now, please don't take this the wrong way, Laila," Kim continued, leaning forward on her elbows. "But you don't exactly seem like the type of girl who throws herself at boys."

   I bit my lip, blushing bright red. That alone was enough to answer her question.

"I thought as much," she chuckled. "I'm not trying to sound conceited or a jerk, but...well, when it comes to my son, I can't help but praise him as best I can."

   "Doesn't every mother like to do that?" I asked her.

Kim shrugged before continuing. "Look, Laila. I'm not totally incompetent."

  Well, that had certainly caught me off guard.  

I stared up at her with a confused expression. "What are you talking about?"

"I know you like Justin, sweetie. And I know he likes you too. Judging by the look of shock on your face, you're going to try as hard as you can to deny that, but it's really no use. You and my boy don't give your mother and me as much credit as we deserve. Hell, even my husband knows something's going on between you two."

  I gaped up at her, sort of like a fish. Was she serious?

Now I was absolutely mortified. 

  "Okay...." I managed to choke out, looking anywhere but at Kim. "I guess you're right."

Kim looked a little shocked herself, too.

  "Huh," she mused, glancing up towards the sky. "That was a lot easier than I expected. Jeanine told me you'd put up one hell of a fight." 

  I couldn't help but smile at that. Thanks, Mom, I thought.

"Well, let's just say that with guys, I'm really not that intelligent," I found myself saying. "It's not that I wouldn't put up a fight. It's just that I don't know what to say."

   Kim laughed, looking down at me with a smile. I realized then with a bit of shock that Justin and Kim had the same smile. It lit up their face like no other, crinkling their bright eyes. Granted, Justin didn't smile nearly enough as he should have.

   Oh, Laila, I sighed, mentally giving myself a head-slap. You've got it bad.

"I feel like it isn't my place to tell you," Kim started, her voice sounding strained. "But I think I should warn you."

  That definitely caught my attention. 

I stared at her with a guarded expression, unsure of what she was about to say.

 "About what?" I said slowly, cautiously.

Kim sighed, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

  "I know it seems like me and my family have the most perfect, care-free life ever," she said slowly. "It's just that we don't, not really. You'll probably deny it later, but Justin...well, he hasn't had the easiest time."

  I arched an eyebrow. She had to be kidding. Justin didn't have a care in the world. He probably only thought himself 98% of the time. The other 2% was probably reserved for his family.

  And maybe Maggie, I thought with distain. 

  So, then why did I feel so strongly for him?

    "What do you mean....?" I trailed off uncomfortably.

 Kim pursed her lips, thinking hard. "Laila, there are things in Justin's life that no one his age should have had to deal with. He's very strong with what’s happened to him. But it's not for me to tell you what he's been through. That's his business. He'll tell you when he's ready to tell you." 

  My stomach started twisting into knots. What could be so serious that had happened to Justin that Kim felt the need to forewarn me about? What had happened?

  "What makes you so sure that he'll even tell me what happened?" I blurted without thinking.

Kim took a deep breath, fidgeting with her hands again. "Well, you never really know with Justin, you're right. But I can tell by the way he looks at you."

 I didn't know whether it would be in my best interest to actually believe what Kim was saying or not.

"Okay," I mumbled, glancing away.

  "No need to look so frightened, sweetie," Kim teased. "It'll all work itself out in the end."

 "I sure hope so," I said unthinkingly.

In all honestly? I so did not want to be spending the rest of my summer break mooning over some guy that I probably wasn't going to see for another ten years anyway.

  "Well, I should probably go find Jeanine," Kim sighed, pulling herself up to her feet. "Enjoy yourself out here."

  I waved weakly while Kim said goodbye and wandered back inside the house, shutting the back doors behind her as she went.

  I stayed in the pool, floating on my back, until my skin started getting all wrinkly like a prune. I sighed, swimming over to the edge of the pool and pulled myself out.

  I walked inside of the house, making a beeline for the stairs, and sprinted up the steps to the Gryffindor room. Thankfully Miranda wasn't anywhere in sight, which was surprising, so at least she wasn't going to chew me out for getting the carpets wet.

  Standing under the hot, pounding floor of the shower, I tried to rid myself of all of the complicated, jumbled thoughts swarming around in my head. It worked for a few minutes before the steam from the shower started making my skin feel sticky, so I yanked the faucet off, hopped out and grabbed a towel off the towel rack.

  After toweling off, I slipped on a pair of comfy cotton shorts and a Queen t-shirt, and felt a bit better. Then I remembered that I'd left one of my favorite books outside, and promptly dashed back down the stairs to go grab The Hunger Games off the deck chair. 

  Once I'd gotten my book back, safe in my grasp, I plopped myself down on the couch in the living room, my hands over my face. Now I guess I was just left to think about what Kim had told me earlier.

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Oh my gosh this was a hard chapter to write. It made me a little sad. ): 

  What do you guys think?