My whole world (P.2)
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"Shhh I've got you..I've got you," I replied staying strong for the boy I love. Again, I couldn't reply not knowing what to say. So, I held onto my whole world and said the only thing I knew for sure in that moment.
"I love you."
"W-what?" JJ sniffled lifting his head just far enough off my shoulder to look into my eyes.
"I love you, JJ. I love you, I always have and I still do," I proclaimed pulling him tighter into me.
"But what about what happened? And.. a-and all the things I said?" JJ mumbled.
I sighed and took his hand. "Come on let's get you cleaned up then we can talk," I said leading him carefully up and out of the hot tub's slippery edge and inside to warm up- and hopefully calm down. I led JJ by his hand slowly towards the bedroom him and I have started to share. Easing his freezing body down on the edge of the bed I began to walk out of the room to find some towels. "Wait!" JJ shouted standing up off the edge of the bed; small pools of water forming on the now soaked blue duvet. I nearly jumped at his sudden exclamation; this was the loudest thing he's said all evening. "Please..p-please don't leave me," JJ choked out through a fresh set of tears. I turned towards him and saw his crestfallen figure and saddened eyes looking everywhere but at me. Walking back to him I took his hands again and led him back towards the bed. "JJ baby, I will never leave you. I just need to get you warm, okay? I'll be right back, I promise," I assured standing up slower this time.
Once out of the room I gathered a few towels and a bottle of water as quickly as I could and made my way back to our room. Being reckless I accidently opened the door too far and it made a sudden bang as it hit the wall, making JJ nearly jumped out of where he was sitting at the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry J I didn't mean to scare you," I apologized silently cursing myself for not being more cautious in my loud actions while JJ was in such a state. JJ didn't respond he only nodded and then continued to focus his gaze at a random spot on the old wooden floors.
I took a seat on the edge of the bed next to JJ as I folded my legs underneath myself. "Is it okay if I dry you off?" I asked, JJ nodded and gave a small "yes" still not meeting my eyes. Slowly I dried off his arms and then as gently as possible I wiped the remaining water droplets, and tears, off his face. Next, I handed him the water, but he just shook his head declining. "Why don't you lay down and try to get some rest? Just for a little," I encouraged brushing his messy hair out of his eyes.
"Will you stay?" JJ whispered again. This boy will never understand just how much he means to me. "JJ look at me," I whispered back, slowly he brought his eyes up to mine. "I won't leave you JJ, ever," I reminded looking into his eyes.
We both scooched to the top end of the bed and immediately JJ wrapped his arms around me and laid his head on my chest; the same way we usually fall asleep. "I-I think I want to talk now," JJ said so quietly I could barely hear him. I ran my fingers through his damp hair and mumbled a small "okay." "Well..I uh don't really know where to start, but it uh..it kinda started with my dad, you know?" JJ explained. I wrapped my free hand around his and nodded not wanting to interrupt. "I would come home, and he would be there... drunk as usual, but he's been angrier. He would waste his money on booze and then burn through my rent money and all that," JJ continued. "It's just been hard I guess, and I took that out on you and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off like that and put you and the Pogues in danger. And.. and what I said on the road..I don't deserve you. God I'm so stupid," JJ ranted getting frustrated.
"It's okay J, I know now you didn't mean it. In the moment I was heartbroken, yeah, but its okay mistakes happen," I replied. JJ mumbled something inaudible into my chest and then I felt his hot stream of tears again. "Baby I can't hear you. Please let me help," I whispered running my fingers through his hair to help soothe him. JJ just mumbled again now lifting his head. "JJ I can't hear yo-"
"I hit you," JJ whimpered.
He began searching my eyes for something, something he would never find in them. Hate, anger, loathing. "JJ-" I started but was cut off.
"No Y/n! I hit you.. just like my dad..j-just like him," JJ sobbed.
That's when I started to cry. "JJ please, you're not like him. You aren't, I promise. I know you didn't mean it and I know you won't do it again, please don't cry. J, I know you and that's not who you are, okay? It's not," I reassured.
"Let's just start over, okay? We can do that," I suggested.
"Okay..okay," JJ replied.
I decided to try something different, to change the mood. "Hey, I'm Y/n. What's your name handsome?" I joked. A small smile began to pull JJ's lips upward. "JJ," he replied. "JJ...hmm I think I like that name, but is it okay if I call you 'mine' instead?" I flirted. JJ immediately picked his head up and smirked. "I think I like that too," JJ answered brushing his nose against mine.
"I love you," he whispered.
"Ditto," I replied crashing my lips with his.
Author's Note: Y'all this ending absolutely SUCKED!! I am so sorry this ending was terrible, but I literally couldn't think of anything, sorry. As usual thanks for reading, and please leave comments and/or requests.
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