Xuelei kept his face expressionless as he tried to concentrate on what his brothers were saying. All seven of them were in the main hall and reporting the latest mission. The Master and Mistress were listening attentively, occasionally asking questions.

Li was talking, his voice had taken a monotonous droning tone. The gruelling ride back had worsened Xuelei's condition. They had not stopped to eat or rest, Minister Lay's men might be in pursuit. There might be more waiting somewhere in ambush. Trusting their endurance training, they had made a dash back to the safety of home.

As always, anyone coming in from a mission was to Report first. Food and rest came later.

Xuelei swayed where he stood, determine to get through the meeting.

"Xuelei! What do you have anything to add?" the Mistress's sharp voice broke him out of his light trance.

His head jerked up. "No, Mistress."

"Will they recognise you if they saw you again?"

"No Mistress. They do not know my true identity. To them, I am a girl named Xuehua."

"Good." She waited but he did not elaborate. He was not much for words anyway.

"Good job keeping all the hostages alive. We got some extra money from a few girls who had small rewards out for their safe return. It will be allocated accordingly."

Xuelei nodded at his Master's acknowledgement.

The meeting ended a few minutes later and the boys were dismissed. Xuelei made a beeline to his quarters and closed the door behind him indicating he wanted privacy. His brothers were worried about him but knew he wanted some time alone. They would check on him later.

Once inside his room, Xuelei went to the bathroom. His head was throbbing. His whole body ached. Gingerly he took off his shirt, wincing. His body was a mess of blue, black and purple. His touched his torso tenderly, gritting his teeth. He would not show any weaknesses, not even to his own brothers. He was the youngest and was constantly being compared to them. He had a lot to live up to.

Quickly he washed up and dried off. Returning to the room, he slathered his body liberally with some deep heating ointment and sighed in relief as he felt his muscles relaxing. The herbal medicinal smell soothed him. Finally, wearing only a loose comfortable pair of trousers, he slipped into bed and pulled the covers.

Food would have to come later.

-----------------------------------

"Do you think he is okay?"

"Yeah, he is okay. He needs to catch up on sleep though."

"Jin, how bad is he?"

Jin shrugged. "I really couldn't tell. There was some dried blood on his clothes but he acted okay. He was a little more quiet than usual when we were travelling."

"A little more quiet than usual? Hmm. That's not good."

"What do you mean?"

"He is probably hurt and holding it in, you know how he is."

"We'll check on him later .... Shhh! Mei Ling's coming! Don't tell her, she will worry."

Mei Ling bounced into the dining hall where the boys were.

"Hi! You are all back!!" she greeted them brightly. "I've missed you all. How did it go?"

"The mission was a success. We are all hungry, want to join us for a bite?"

She looked around.

"Where's seventh brother? Didn't he come back with you guys?"

Li came forward. "He is resting. This mission was tough on him."

"Huh? Why?"

"He was kept on his toes twenty-four seven in his extreme disguise this mission. He must be exhausted."

"Yeah, it's not easy to keep in character all the time. He had to didn't he, because he was always with those girls?" Qian mused aloud.

"Girls? What girls?"

Qian's eyes widened. Opps! Ren rolled his eyes and gave Qian a murderous look for his slip. Seriously!

"It's nothing Mei Ling. The girls were the mission. He went undercover to save them."

Shen grinned, "Yeah, then we saved him."

"Oh, okay." Mei Ling smiled.

She may be young but she wasn't stupid, they were definitely hiding something from her, trying to 'protect' her as usual. She could sense it. Growing up among assassins, she had picked up some of their habits unconsciously. Traits on observing, perception and awareness were second nature to her.

Mei Ling played along. She let them relaxed and quietly left the dining area when they were all busy eating and talking.

Mei Ling made her way to Xuelei's room. The door was closed. She paused, frowning. She put her ear to the door, there were no sounds coming from inside.

She knocked, "Seventh brother?"

"Xuelei, it's me, Mei Ling. Are you alright? You didn't have anything to eat yet. The others are stuffing their faces."

She pushed the door opened. A sharp pungent herbal smell assaulted her senses, making her eyes water. Her heart rate increased. He was hurt, she knew he was. She went further into the dim room. There was only a lone oil lamp on the table. It's low flickering flame casting dancing shadows on the wall and floor.

Oh! He was sleeping, she could make out his outline on the bed. Mei Ling went to the table to take the lamp before going over to the sleeping youth. She held it high.

"Xue ... ?" before she could finish he mumbled something unintelligible and turned wincing in his sleep. His blanket fell to the side exposing his upper body. He let out a deep sigh but did not wake. He must be exhausted.

Mei Ling's hand flew to cover her mouth as she gasped softly. She turned up the wick making the light burn brighter and held it up to take a closer look. Her eyes widened in shock as she took in the multi-coloured bruises that covered his upper body. His arms and torso were the worst. There were lacerations on the right side of his head. The discolouration which marred his handsome face was fading.

A tear slid down her face. She bit her trembling lips to keep her emotions in check. After scrutinising him for a few more minutes, she replaced the oil lamp on the table turning down the flame again. She left quietly, closing the door behind her.

Mei Ling went straight to her room. Thankfully she did not meet anyone on the way there. Once inside, she burst into tears. Poor Xuelei. Did the others know about his injuries? And if they did, did they know the extent of them? Did they care?

Seeing him like that brought home something she had always known. Her beloved brothers, every one of them could die at any time they went out for missions. She knew this but yet it had always been at the back of her mind. They always came back home safe, always. Sometimes they came back injured, malnourished or so fatigued that they had trouble remembering their own names but they always recovered.

She had never been afraid of losing them before. Only now did she see first-hand how they suffered behind closed doors. The stark reality struck her.

Her brothers had always presented a nonchalant and easy manner around her dismissing the dangers. They would laugh off the dangers and spin wild tales of grand adventures to her. When they were injured, they had always avoided her until they recovered so she had not realise how real those dangers were.

Mei Ling was growing up. She eyes were being opened to the real world. Her new awareness brought her fear, anxiety and worry for her family. She had to do something, anything to help them. But what could she do?

She cried her eyes out and fell asleep, drained from the emotional fatigue.

She awoke some hours later. Remembering Xuelei's condition, she washed her face and rushed to his room. It was empty. Only the lingering smell of pungent herbs hung in the air.

She set out to find her brothers, he must be with them. She found them in the practice area. Shen and Dao were having a sparring session. Qian and Jin were partnered in another corner. Li was overseeing Ren and Xuelei's swordplay.

She stared in amazement. Xuelei was practicing? In his condition? He must be crazy.

Mei Ling settled in a corner to watch. Ren and Xuelei were going at each other with zest. Li was watching the pair closely, sometimes calling out mistakes in stance or technique.

"Harder! Hit harder and with more precision!"

"Watch your footing," Li called out. "Anticipate your opponent's moves! Don't just react!"

She paid special attention to Xuelei, watching him move with his usual grace and skill. She frowned, other than looking a little pale and moving a tiny bit slower, he did not indicate any discomfort. His face was a serious mask of concentration. He was sweating but then so was Ren. Li was working them up.

She sat through what was left of the training session. Her eyes followed his every movement, every dodge, every attack. His kicks and jumps, rolls on the ground, twists and turns in mid-air as he blocked and counter-attacked Ren. He was as quick and graceful as ever. She frowned again.

Only when they ended practice did she understand. They all talked easily, forming loose groups, exchanging and arguing views on the session. Everything seemed normal. He acted normal. Too normal, she thought.

Xuelei turned from his brothers to reach for his towel. For a moment, he closed his eyes in pain and clenched his jaw. His temporary weakness was gone almost immediately as he regained control. His expression arranged carefully back to neutral as he turned back to face his brothers. It was gone so fast that she wondered if she had even seen it. Only her wildly thumping heart was proof that she had.

Mei Ling learned an unintentional lesson from Xuelei that day. A subtle lesson of pain and control, of what was real and what was perceived by others. She puzzled it out trying to understand his behaviour until she realised it was a simple thing. He held back his personal pain and suffering so as not to burden or worry his brothers.

Physical pain was temporary, he would endure until his body healed. No need for any fuss. Life goes on.

But there was a limit, she argued with herself. He should let the very people he loved know, so that they could care for him. She sighed. He was stubborn to a fault, he did not want others to pity him. Mei Ling realised with sudden insight that Xuelei took needing people as a sign of weakness.

Ren called out a greeting to her but Mei Ling didn't hear him, she wondered out of the training area deep in thought. It was a revelation that her crush, her perfect handsome quiet Xuelei was afraid. 

He was afraid of needing someone.