12

Mr Stark
Hey, kid, we haven't heard from you in a while, and you missed the internship, is everything alright?

Spidey
Sorry, Mr Stark, I've had a lot on my mind lately...

Mr Stark
You wanna tell me about it?

Spidey
Aunt May got a new job

Mr Stark
That's great!

Spidey
Yeah...
Except it's in Tulsa.
:/

Mr Stark
Oh
I'm so sorry, Petey
I presume you're going with her?

Spidey
I have to.
I've got nobody I could stay with so I have to leave you guys and my friends behind :'(

Mr Stark
That sucks
Even if you did have somewhere to stay, would you really want to leave your aunt?

Spidey
It would be really hard to leave her since she's the only family I've got left but it would be easier and I could visit her.
And without me she wouldn't have to worry about taking care of me and my enhanced metabolism

Mr Stark
I'm sure she doesn't mind taking care of you at all

Spidey
Thanks, Mr Stark, I'm going to miss you
•́  ‿ ,•̀

Mr Stark
No problem, Bambino!
I've got to go to a meeting now, bye!

Spidey
Bye, Mr Stark!
Have a good meeting!

Tony looks up from his phone, a plan already forming in his mind, only to realise that Natasha is standing over him, a knife held dangerously close to his throat.

All the Avengers are staring at him, with sad and concerned looks on their faces, except Clint who is balling his eyes out into Steve's shoulder.

Through gritted teeth Natasha asks, "What are you planning on doing about this?"
Tony doesn't fail to notice the recently sharpened edge of the knife as he answers, "I'm going to adopt him, of course."

The Avengers all stare at him, dumfounded until Wanda speaks up, "Мама, I thought I already asked if we could adopt him..."
"Yes, why should we not be the ones to adopt him, Папа?" Pietro joins in.

Clint is still crying so hard that he's unable to make any sound even close to a word. Instead Natasha replies for him, "Ванда, Пьетро, unfortunately Stark found Cinnamon Roll first, and besides we already have both of you to drive us crazy, let Stark suffer this time!"

For some reason this makes Clint's crying even worse, so now he's blowing his nose on Captain America's shirt. Meanwhile Bruce is awkwardly rubbing circles on Clint's back in a useless attempt to calm him.

Steve looks unbelievably startled by the prolonged wails of the grown man beside him and looks to Bucky for help. Bucky however just laughs and puts his hand on Steve's dry shoulder.

Smirking slightly at his victory, Tony says, "Well that's settled then! I'll fill out the adoption papers and talk to Peter and his aunt to get them to sign too!"

"What about Pepper?" Bruce queries, glancing up worriedly from Clint.
Tony freezes for five seconds, as if he had completely forgotten he had a fiancé, but soon smugly replies, "She loves him, I'm sure she'll be fine with it! I'll check with her in a minute!"

Just as the Avengers began to calm down and Clint's cries slowed, Scott came in, leaning heavily on Hope...
He too was in floods of tears and set Clint off again.

Hope dropped him down on Cap's other side, and Scott quickly positioned himself with his face buried in Steve's shoulder. As Bucky laughed at him with the most shit eating grin possible, Steve glared back a desperate look screaming help me!

To make things even worse, they heard a scream from another room and soon saw Harley running in, also crying enough tears to sink the Titanic. The moment he entered the room, he dived on Tony the Tissue and began his quest to soak Tony's AC/DC t-shirt.

Bucky was laughing his ass off from his seat, yet his joy was short lived when Loki stumbled out of a portal, many tears also being shed. Loki barely glanced at the room before collapsing on Bucky to cry.

Wanda has also started crying into Pietro's side from feeling all their thoughts and sadness.

Eventually, Natasha snaps. "Would you all stop crying?! Peter isn't going anywhere! Tony is going to adopt him! We will get to keep him and see him even more often! There is no reason to worry! Peter is staying with us!" she shouts, being one of the few not crying.

"What if Stark c-can't adopt Pyotr? What if Pyotr chooses to leave or his aunt doesn't want him to stay here? What then?" Wanda sobs, speaking all the thoughts everyone is so loudly thinking.

Natasha is speechless, and resigns to drop down on the couch beside the twins and wraps them in a hug. Tony, on the other hand, looks startled and then moves on to holding Harley closer and crying into his hair.

Even Hope, who has never spoken or interacted with Peter, is sad and makes only futile attempts to soothe Scott.

Somehow, they manage to spend over an hour like that. They are only snapped out of it when Pepper comes in to yell at Tony for completely missing an important meeting, and ends up gently coaxing each Avenger out of their pit of despair.

Several days later...

Spidey
Hey, Mr Stark

Mr Stark
Hey, Petey Pie!

Spidey
Just to let you know, we'll be moving next week :(

Mr Stark
That sucks, kiddo, but I have some great news!

Spidey
What is it???

Mr Stark
I have to tell you in person, and your aunt should probably be there too

Spidey
O...k, we're free now if you want?

Mr Stark
Now's great!
Pepper's coming too, to keep me in check and all that.

Spidey
Well that's a relief
How long will you be?

Mr Stark
About five minutes

Spidey
K, see you soon!

Peter's enhanced hearing picked up on the sound of their car parking and their footsteps as they walked ever closer, so he was already standing by the door when the knocked.

He hadn't been waiting very long, but Peter was dying to know what was so important Mr Stark had to tell him in person, and bring Pepper along with him.

Peter let them in, they greeted one another, and May made them all tea. (Should this be coffee instead? Do Americans use coffee in the place of tea? Or is it meant to be bottles of beer or protein shakes? Teach me the ways over the Atlantic!)

The instant he opened the door, Peter noticed they were carrying a briefcase but thought nothing of it until it was opened...

After wading through all the pleasantries, Pepper began, "We've got something important to tell you, and something equally important to ask of you..."

"Basically, we're having a baby!" Tony blurted out. May congratulated them whilst Peter sat in shock, unable to believe what he'd just heard.
He was happy for them, of course, but, with the Captain America health PSA fresh in his mind, part of him was just thinking ewww gross!

Tony then decided to add, "Actually, we're having two babies."
"Oh, wow, that's great!" Peter spluttered, completely shocked. However he'd barely made it to the end of his sentence when Tony whipped out a stack of papers from the briefcase, slammed them down on the table in front of him and stated, "It's you, sign here."

Pepper rolled her eyes at Tony and gently said, "We would like to adopt you, Peter, so you can stay in New York and not have to change schools. We've already talked to May, and she's okay with it, we just need you to sign to say you want this."

Hesitantly, Peter looks up to May and tilts his head like a confused puppy. She calmly smiles at him and nods towards the adoption papers.

Picking up on Peter's uncertainty, May reassures, "Don't worry, you can visit me every time your school's on holiday, if that's what you want?"

Peter smiles nervously and says, "That...would be perfect." After looking to each adult for their approval, Peter signs the adoption papers and hugs them all.

As they pull apart, Peter asks, "Are you actually having a proper baby?"
"Well I've already got you and Harley, but yep, Pepper really is pregnant! You're gonna be a big brother Petey Pie!"

Peter pulls them all into a hug again, happy to have another family.

Once they've sorted out some details, Tony tells Peter to go wait in the car with Happy, since they decided it would be easier for May to pack without Peter still living amongst it. Peter didn't know what they had to talk about that he had to be absent from, but he didn't question it.

Fifteen minutes later Tony and Pepper joined him in the back of the car. Almost anxiously, Tony said, "Your DNA test results have come in..."

"Is something wrong with it? Besides it being part spider, that is?" Peter questions, slightly scared by Tony's sudden lack of ego.

"There's nothing wrong with it, Underoos, besides the spider mutations it's perfectly ordinary. It's just one thing FRIDAY found about it..." Stark says.

"Yes...?" Peter continues for Tony.
"It's complicated, I'll show you when we get back home." He replies, obviously unsure of himself for once, "I promise it's not anything bad, it's just...unexpected."

Despite the fear creeping into Peter's soul, he trusts what Mr Stark says and that it will be fine. Right now he's focusing on that one word Stark had said: home.

They were going home!