11

Spidey
What's up guys?

Mr Stark
Nothing much, Underoos

Spidey
>:(
Underoos?!!!

Mr Stark
It's nothing personal, kiddo

Frostbite
It's just unfortunate you go around in as much lycra as Cap

Spidey
...
NO!
PLEASE NO!
MR STARK!
I NEED A NEW SUIT!!!

Mr Stark
What's wrong with your current suit?

Spidey
Too much Spandex.
I'm not an old man

Mr Stark
Ok, no Spandex...

Capsicle
Aw :(

Spidey
Thank you.

Mr Stark
How about iron?

Spidey
I'm not doing matching costumes with you.

Mr Stark
No iron, ok...
What about a gold titanium alloy?

Spidey
That's even more similar to your suits.

Mr Stark
You don't want to be like me?

Spidey
Nonononono
I didn't mean it like that Mr Stark!
I'm so sorry!
All I want is to be like you!!!

Wizard
That's a terrible ambition.

Mr Stark
Bambino, not even I want you to be like me

Spidey
You don't...?

Mr Stark
Not one bit

Spidey
Oh...
:'(
｡:ﾟ(;´∩';)ﾟ:｡

Mr Stark
Petey, I don't want you to be like me...
I want you to be better

Spidey
...
but...
there is no one better than you...

Scarlet
Awwww!

Natalia
Are you sure there's no one better than Stark?

Spidey
You're all equals!

Natalia
You're too innocent, you've got Stark crying tears of joy again

Pigeon
Thanks for that, Spidey

Spidey
Aw thanks, Мама Паук, I hope Mr Stark is ok!
I mean it though, you're all the best!
...
Except Pigeon.

Pigeon
Hey!

Frostbite
Lmfao

Capsicle
What's "lmfao"?

Frostbite
Stevie, you just swore.

Capsicle
What?! How?!

Hawk
"Lmfao" is short for "laughing my fucking ass off"

Capsicle
Oh...
Let's see then...
Language
Language
Language
Language

Spidey
Pfffff

Wizard
Peter

Spidey
Yes, Mr Doctor Wizard Strange Sir

Wizard
Would you like to learn magic?

Spidey
I'D LOVE TO!

Wizard
I can teach you sometime if you want?

Spidey
OMG YES!
THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!
but only if you don't mind, that is
I mean, why would you offer that?

Mr Stark
Yes, why?

Wizard
It's his Christmas present.

Spidey
I get a Christmas present!?

Mr Stark
Since when do you give Christmas presents?

Wizard
I don't.
It's just for the kid.
You still get nothing.

Spidey
I'm honoured

Mr Stark
I don't get nothing though.
I get a Spider-Child who can cast crazy spells.
It's scary enough when he's hiding on the ceiling!

Wizard
I'm just seeing more and more reasons to teach him

MemeKween
We have a proposition...

Loki
Since you want to annoy Stark so much...

Harley
Why not teach us as well?

MemeKween
Just think of the possibilities...

Loki
What we could accomplish together...

Harley
As four Gen Z teens...

MemeKween
All Stark would hear...

Loki
Is unrelenting memes...

Harley
And the never ending Vines...

MemeKween
We would follow him always...

Loki
And never let him sleep...

Harley
Until the Vines and memes are haunting all his dreams!

Spidey
Excellent job, comrades!

Wizard
I don't know...

Spidey
Oh please let them join in!

Mr Stark
Dead God do not let them join in!!!

Wizard
Well...

Spidey
/╲/\╭(•‿•)╮/\╱\

Wizard
Ok fine!

Spidey
Thank you so much Dr Mr Doctor Strange Sir!!!

Wizard
No problem, Peter

MemeKween
⁽⁽◝( •௰• )◜⁾⁾

Loki
₍₍◞( •௰• )◟₎₎

Harley
⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾

Wizard
Oh shit. What have I done?

Capsicle
Language!

Spidey
You have done something great.

MemeKween
Tru dat!

Wizard
Wanda...

Scarlet
Yes, master?

Wizard
I'm going to need you to help me teach them.

Scarlet
But I'm still learning!

Wizard
Do you speak their language?

Scarlet
Well...yeah

Wizard
You will help translate

Spidey
We all know what this means...

Wizard
Do we?

Scarlet
Yes...

Wizard
I don't follow

Scarlet
You'll see...

Spidey
In
3...
2...
1...

MemeKween
I like your accent, where you from?

Loki
I'm Liberian

Harley
My mistake!
*whispering* I like your accent, where you from?

Spidey
And cut!
That's a wrap people!
Great work there!

Wizard
What have I signed up for?

Silver
You'll be fine, Wanda knows almost all their language

Scarlet
Hey! I'm just as fluent as you in internet lingo!

Silver
Uh uh uh!
You're still 12 minutes behind me!

Scarlet
Best 12 minutes of my life.

Silver
Agreed.
You should have stayed there longer.

Scarlet
Or you could have not left at all

Silver
What are you implying?

Scarlet
I should have absorbed you while I had the chance.

Silver
If you tried, I'd have just left sooner

Scarlet
Always in a rush

Silver
Better than spending forever thinking and not doing.

Scarlet
At least I know what I'm doing when I go into things, you just dive right in!

Silver
Well that's the problem with being fashionably late
You miss all the fun!

Scarlet
I have plenty of fun until I see you

Silver
Oh please!
I'm much more fun than you!
You're just a goody two shoes!

Scarlet
No, people just like me more than you.

Silver
Totally
We all know I'm everyone's favourite!

Scarlet
Which is clearly why I can manipulate people's thoughts and minds, move things with my mind, fly, and a bunch of other stuff, while you just run fast.

Silver
I can't believe you'd bring that up!
You know that's a sore spot for me!

Natalia
Good job, Ванда, you've won!

Scarlet
Thanks, Мама!

Hawk
What your mother means is stop fighting!

Scarlet
He had it coming

Silver
I will have my revenge...

Spidey
Ooooo!
Drama!!!

MemeKween
Fight!

Loki
Fight!

Harley
Fight!

Spidey
But they were just fighting...

MemeKween
You're right!
...
Kill!

Loki
Kill!

Harley
Kill!

Spidey
Annihilate!

Mr Stark
THAT IS ENOUGH CHILDREN!!!

Harley
But Daaaaad!

Mr Stark
No.

Spidey
Oh come on, Mr Stark!

Mr Stark
No!

MemeKween
Well too bad you're not my superior!

Loki
You have no power to stop us!

Mr Stark
Your Highness!

KittyCat
Shuri, stop it or I will tell mother!

MemeKween
Crap!

Loki
At least I am invincible!

Mr Stark
Would you like me to add Thor to this?

Loki
You wouldn't dare!

Mr Stark
Do you feel like risking it?

Loki
...

Spidey
We have been defeated >:/

Mr Stark
Sorry, Petey, but this chat is more fun with both Maximoffs

Spidey
I understand.

Mr Stark
Why don't you swing over?
We could start work on your new suit?

Spidey
That sounds great!

Mr Stark
I'm thinking leather instead of lycra

Spidey
Erm...
No.

Mr Stark
Why not?

Spidey
Because I'm not Aunty Talia.
Nobody can compete with her.

Mr Stark
Ok, no leather
...
How about denim?

Spidey
Definitely not!

Mr Stark
Well then I'm out of ideas

Spidey
Maybe I should just stick to Spandex...

Tiny
Stick...to... Spandex...
W H E E Z E
Oh my god that is too good!

Spidey
What's so funny?

Mr Stark
I have no idea
Hey, Kid, you ever coming over?

Spidey
Hehe...
Is there anyone flying by who can give me a ride?

Mr Stark
No, you can just swing over

Spidey
But Mr Stark!
It's December!
It's snowing outside!

Mr Stark
I know. I can see.

Spidey
Do you have any idea how cold it is swinging across New York?
In the fricking snow?!

Mr Stark
You do remember you're a superhero, don't you?

Spidey
Yes!
A superhero, with the powers of a spider!
When was the last time you saw a spider in winter?
Have you ever seen a spider in winter, Mr Stark, have you?
My people thrive in temperate zones!

Mr Stark
...
Your people???

Spidey
I was bitten by a rood radioactive spider!
I'm pretty sure now I'm 33.3333333333333333333333......% spider!

Mr Stark
What the fuck?!

Capsicle
Language!

Mr Stark
Kid, I'm coming to pick you up

Spidey
Yay thanks, Mr Stark!

Mr Stark
And as soon as we get to Tower, you're taking a DNA test

Spidey
Oh no
Please don't take my blood!

Mr Stark
Blood would be quicker but if you really don't want the needle then you can spit into a test tube and we'll have to wait a bit longer

Spidey
I'll take the spit.
Definitely the spit!

Mr Stark
Of course, Petey Pie!
Brucie, prepare the lab!

Dr Banner
You're capable of doing it yourself, you know
But I'll do it for Peter.

Spidey
Thank you Dr Bruce Banner King of Gamma!

MemeKween
All hail Dr Bruce Banner King of Gamma!

Loki
Hail!

Harley
Hail!

Spidey
Hail!

MemeKween
HAIL HYDRA!

Loki
HAIL HYDRA!

Harley
HAIL HYDRA!

Spidey
HAIL HYDRA!

Capsicle
I really don't want to fight you kids right now...
...
......
hail hydra

Frostbite
You fucking traitor.

If you have any chapter suggestions, I'd love to hear (read) them! Also do you guys like me incorporating the memes into the chapters? Thanks for all the reads! And farewell until next time!