18

Harley
I have been betrayed.

Spidey
Abandoned.

MemeKween
Forgotten.

Loki
Left to die.

Harley
These irresponsible adults would have us starve rather than provide us with the nutritional meals we require!

Spidey
And now they must pay.

Capsicle
What? Natasha and I cook every day except weekends!

Mr Stark
Yeah Saturday is shawarma night and nobody complains about that!

Capsicle
And Sundays are meant to be someone different cooking.

Mr Stark
Isn't it my week for that?

Frostbite
Oh no.

Mr Stark
Hey! Watch it, snowflake! I'll have you know my culinary skills are second to none!

Spidey
They really have forgotten haven't they?

Harley
It would seem so...

Loki
I do believe that the good captain accepted responsibility for our meals...

Shuri
I expect he shall soon regret that...

Natalia
Kids, I'm sure he has a perfectly reasonable excuse for forgetting

Silver
Not really. He hasn't been busy or had a mission in a while. Wanda, can you detect any emotional distress or any valid excuse as to his neglect?

Scarlet
None at all.

Natalia
Well then...
Let's get him.
Penguin, you in?

Hawk
Sure
Just as long as I'm on the side of the demon spawn this time

Spidey
Plotting begins in 5 minutes, in the main vent intersection.

KittyCat
Whatever it is, do not make me come for Shuri after it.
I am sick of having to take care of her messes.

Wizard
Agreed.
It's like you forget I have a life outside of this fanfiction.

After much plotting...

"So, everyone understands the plan?" Natasha checks.
"Yep!" Peter chimes in, "Wanda makes sure he stays asleep. Pietro scouts ahead. Loki makes a portal to get us there. The rest of us help carry him because too much magic could get the witch doctor involved. Then Harley and Loki add their artistic touches while Shuri and I write a note. You supervise the whole thing to make sure we don't get arrested or do anything stupid." Everyone nods in agreement, evil smirks forming on their faces.

Natasha smiles at them, "Excellent. Meet on my floor at midnight."
"Why not my floor?" Harley asks.
"Because Stark is too scared to come to my floor in the night since last time..."

"Last time?" Pietro inquires.
"He needed a book I stole from him. I may have thrown a knife at him..." Nat replied.
This causes Pietro to grin even wider, "Awesome! Did you get him?"
"Of course. It's me." she deadpanned, "I had him pinned against a wall."

There was a chorus of "woah"s from everyone except Clint who had to witness it and pull the knife out of the wall and Tony's jacket because Nat would not have anyone interrupt her sleep at 2am.

Everyone left and went on about their day as usual, exchanging winks with eachother when they were in the presence of Captain Capitalism.

Dinner was a terrifying experience to say the least........

The next morning.........

Frostbite
Ok what happened?

Spidey
Why what ever

Harley
Are you

MemeKween
Talking about

Loki
Good sir?

Frostbite
Where is Steve?
He didn't wake me up at the crack of dawn this morning.
Where is he?

Pigeon
It was weird.
I actually got to sleep for once.
I laughed at the Sun when I saw it had been up so much longer than me this morning.

Frostbite
We know something's wrong.

Natalia
Check the news.

Frostbite
Mysterious Captain America exhibit appeared overnight in the Natural History Museum?
Tell me you didn't

Spidey
We did...

Pigeon
Ok, listen here, kid

Frostbite
I want you to promise us you will never leave is out of something like this again.

Pigeon
We have to put up with him all the time. We deserve to be included in things like this.

Spidey
Sorry, we didn't know if we could trust you

Harley
Yeah, especially Commander Communist

Frostbite
What did you call me‽

Harley
You heard.

Mr Stark
Just to be clear, you kidnapped Captain America?

Spidey
We kidnapped Captain America.

Mr Stark
And you took him to England in his bed?

Loki
We took him to England in his bed.

Mr Stark
You then drew on his face?

Harley
We drew on his face.

Mr Stark
You left a sign labelling him as 'The Fourth of July Stripper'?

MemeKween
That we did.

Mr Stark
You hacked the entire museum to be playing the Star Spangled Man With a Plan?

Spidey
Yep.

Mr Stark
You called BBC and Channel 4 and ITV and every major news company to come and take photos?

Harley
We really didn't have a choice.

Mr Stark
You also dyed his hair red white and blue?

Loki
Naturally.

Mr Stark
And you even put him in a glass case which they have not yet been able to get him out of?

MemeKween
What else were we supposed to do?

Mr Stark
I am so done!
FRIDAY add Pepper!

The Boss
Tony no.
You can handle this.
I understand the author was desperate for an excuse to add me to this but it is up to you to explain to the children that what they did was technically illegal.

Natalia
It's fine, Pepper, I helped them.

Mr Stark
YOU WHAT

The Boss
Oh in that case it was a wonderful joke!

Mr Stark
How does her involvement suddenly make this ok‽

The Boss
Natasha is a responsible adult and would never get caught.
Her plans are thoroughly thought out and entirely foolproof.

Mr Stark
Ok that's fair.

Capsicle
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Spidey
Is something the matter?

Scarlet
I think he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...

Silver
More like the wrong side of the Atlantic...

Capsicle
All of this just because you didn't get fish and chips?!

Harley
Remember to pick some up to bring with you before you come back!

Capsicle

Strange is too busy to pick me up and due to bad weather there are no planes from London to New York, or any of America, right now!

Pigeon
Go the other way around the world?

Capsicle
Even with my senior's discount I can't afford that.

Hawk
You have a senior's discount?

Capsicle
Bucky does too. And he uses disabled parking spaces.

Pigeon
So that's how he can always find somewhere to park when it takes me forever!

Frostbite
I was brainwashed by Hydra for 70 years. I've wasted enough time in my life I don't need to waste more looking for a parking space in New York.

MemeKween
Damn you're lucky!

Harley
Your life is so easy!

Frostbite
Yeah...it was a total breeze...

Mr Stark
At least you don't have to shepherd these crazy kiddies to stop them from accomplishing world domination.
I should write a book an it.
Actually I should just write a book about myself, maybe a series...

Wizard
Oh no

Mr Stark
"Tony yes" an autobiography by Tony Stark

The Boss
"Tony no" a biography by Pepper Potts

Capsicle
"Tony stop" a sequel by Steve Rogers

Natalia
"Goddamnit Tony" a prequel by Natalie Rushman

Frostbite
"Fucking Hell Tony, stop sticking magnets to my goddamn arm" a death threat by Bucky Barnes

Spidey
"He stalked me but promised he wasn't a pedophile" an interview by Peter Parker

Harley
"Flipping fish sticks! He's spawned another one!" A reveal by Harley Keener

Mr Stark
Ok I think we get the idea!
No book series for me.

The Boss
Good.