A/N:

Sundew: hello. This is a bonus one-shot that my friend and I wrote together.

Dragon: Yeah, this is a super sweet extra, so all of you chill out. Cool down. It's okay.

Sundew: Why would they be freaking out in the first place?

Dragon: Because this is freaking AWESOME!

Sundew: Okay then. . .?

Dragon: This is us and our awesome conversation because we are awesome people!

Sundew: You are so weird.

Dragon: Thank you.

Sundew: Side note: this has nothing to do with the story, and in the next chapter it will be like this never happened, my friend and I just thought it would be fun to write a spideypool one-shot. 

Dragon: And they all loved chimichangas happily ever after.

Sundew: Don't mind her.

*Disclaimer, Wade (Deadpool) is like, 16 in this fanfic because we are the authors and we can do that.*

🕸Peter's POV:

*:･ﾟ✧ ~⭐️~✧ﾟ･: *

You

Hey guys is it okay if I add a . . .friend . . . of mine?

Joker Blowtorch

A friend you say?

Sure cool!

As long as they're friendly

CGB

NO!

The last time someone added a 'friend' on this group chat I got kidnapped!

I could've been murdered!

With a band-aid!

By Will! He was so angry!

Joker Blowtorch

. . .

Goog point

*good

Let's add them anyway!

We all make mistakes

even if those mistakes are illegally kidnapping a minor on purpose

Metal Man

Who is your 'friend'?

You

Umm, a guy I sometimes eat chimichangas with on the roof of this apartment building

CGB

Why do you eat chimichangas on the roof of an apartment building?

Who knows, you could fall off and die!

Joker Blowtorch

Haha, dying is cool

I did it once, and I'm still here

I think

Am I alive?

Or am I dead and this is all just a dream because I fell asleep in the underworld?

CGB

Leo stop.

Joker Blowtorch

No

Never

Nope

No way

No way josé

sTeEb

Is this 'friend' really a friend?

You

Hahahahahahahaha

Of course 

I'm adding him now.

'You added *** *** **** to 'The weird nicknames chat'

*** *** ****

Hello

The readers are not happy that you kidnapped Nico

CGB

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?

ARE YOU A KIDNAPPER?

ARE YOU A STALKER?

ARE YOU A MURDERER?

ARE YOU A PEDO?

ARE YOU A TERRORIST?

ARE YOU MY GREAT GRANDMA'S SECOND IN COMMAND?

ARE YOU HERE TO AVENGE MY GRANDPA?

*** *** ****

Umm, no.

But also kind of yes.

But also no.

And sort of yes. 

You

Everyone, this is Wade

Wade, this is a group of sort of friends of mine

Joker Blowtorch

Just 'sort of friends'?

How could you?

I am offended!

Archery Pigeon

WADE!?!?!?!?

Joker Blowtorch

Archery Pigeon.

What is up?

The sky is up.

ha

ha

ha

ha

ha

ha

CGB

Every time you typed 'ha' I heard you actually say 'ha' really loudly and obnoxiously from inside your cabin

Joker Blowtorch

creep

Go stalk someone your own size

CGB

You are my size

except I'm a bit taller

Joker Blowtorch

No!

I am definitely taller than you

CGB

I don't think so

Joker Blowtorch

I think so!

CGB

I am clearly the superior being here

Joker Blowtorch

I hate apples, apples are so gross and crunchy

And people are always saying 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away'

But technically you're supposed to go to the doctor

For like you're annual checkup

Don't try to keep the doctor away

They're just trying to keep you healthy

Jeez, let the doctors do their job! 

You

Wut?

*** *** ****

Keep going, the readers are loving this!

sTeEb

What readers?

*** *** ****

You wouldn't understand

Metal Man

You sound like an angry over-dramatic teenager

Joker Blowtorch

AAAAAYYYYYYUUUUUUGGGGGAAAAAAA

COWABUNGA

YEEHAW

YOOOOOOOOOO

Metal Man

. . .

Joker Blowtorch

Whaaaaat?

Also, why don't the dude and the other dude have nicknames?

*** *** ****

I'm not a dude, I'm the princess of Arendelle, and you need to treat me with respect

Archery Pigeon

Ummmmmm

Peter, is your friend okay?

*** *** ****

Nope!

Joker Blowtorch

PRINCESS UNITE!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LET'S GO BURN SOME PLAYGROUNDS!

CGB

sTeEb

. . . wow. . . okay

*** *** ****

Sweet!

Sign me up!

You

Absolutely not!

Joker Blowtorch

You and Nico are both such Debbie downers!

CGB

Rude

Joker Blowtorch

I think you mean 'r00d'

CGB

No, I mean rude

Joker Blowtorch

Come on!

Show the world you got that swag

CGB

Archery Pigeon

Remember when I said that I think you guys need more help than you let on?

Joker Blowtorch

We're Gen Z, this is normal.

You

tru, tru

*** *** ****

Sundew forgot to add something so I'm gonna add it for her

Deadpool is amazing

deal with it

sTeEb

Sundew?

Archery Pigeon

Add something?

Joker Blowtorch

Deal with it?

No!

I won't deal with it!

Metal Man

Deadpool?

Wait. . .

sTeEb

Are you Deadpool?

*** *** ****

That would be my cue

Time to fly!

You

You can't fly!

Hold on, I have to save him!

CGB

Like how you tried to save me?

Metal Man

We didn't try to save you, we did save you, but then you ran away with your friends

CGB

You did NOT save me!

Joker Blowtorch

Yeah, WE saved him

CGB

Nobody saved me! 

I saved myself

Joker Blowtorch

Hair toss

You go gurl

Strut that runway!

sTeEb

What.

The.

Heck.

*** *** ****

Oh yeah, flip that hair like you mean it!

Joker Blowtorch

Toss that eyebrow hair!

Archery Pigeon

I'm pretty sure that's impossible

Joker Blowtorch

Nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it

Except maybe becoming an elephant

*** *** ****

Yeah, I look like an elephant

You

No, you don't

You look like a chinchilla

*** *** ****

Are you implying that my bones are weak?

You

Nonononono

That's not what I meant

Joker Blowtorch

Do I hear wedding bells?

You

NO

*** *** ****

YES

The readers agree

sTeEb

What is it with you and the imaginary readers?

Archery Pigeon

Do you think you're in a book or something?

*** *** ****

No, I don't think I'm in a book

I know I'm in a book

Hello, all you wonderful readers!

Metal Man

Peter, is your boyfriend okay?

You

What?

He isn't my boyfriend!

Archery Pigeon

You're sure about that?

*** *** ****

No, he isn't!

CGB

Okay, I am DONE trying to figure out which *** *** **** is which, you're getting nicknames!

'CGB' renamed '*** *** ****' to 'Insane princess'

'CGB' renamed '*** *** ****' to 'Pete the cat'

Joker Blowtorch

Okay, I like those

Everyone renamed '*** *** ****' to 'Insane princess'

Everyone renamed '*** *** ****' to 'Pete the cat'

Insane Princess

That's right, bow down to the princess of Arendelle!

Joker Blowtorch

I wanna be a princess too. . .

CGB

The only job you could get in a castle would be a jester

Joker Blowtorch

Oooooh! 

Are those the dudes with the jingle hats and the funny shoes?

Who tell jokes?

Sign me up!

CGB

Yes, and they were also prisoners who were captured and forced to entertain the king in medieval times.

Joker Blowtorch

oh. . .

Can you un-sign me up?

Insane Princess

No, you are my jester now

Joker Blowtorch

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well Shoelace

Stop spamming my phone!

I'm trying to take care of a patient over here!

And you're not helping!

Oh, also, Nico, you need to eat lunch now

CGB

Make me.

Well Shoelace

Don't make me come over there with my band-aids!

CGB

Can't you see I'm busy?

Well Shoelace

No, the only thing I can see is that you need food!

CGB

Screw food!

I ate lunch yesterday!

Well Shoelace

Nico no

CGB

Nico yes

Well Shoelace

NICO NO

CGB

NICO YES

Well Shoelace

THAT'S IT!

Joker Blowtorch

Boo-Yah!

Will just dragged Nico away, I watched it from inside my cabin

Will was very angry, he brought band-aids

luckily he didn't have to use them

I think Nico was a little scared

CGB

Wanna say that again?

Joker Blowtorch

Sure.

I think Nico was a little scared.

Insane Princess

Oooh, drama!

Metal Man

What is with your cam-

Insane Princess

Hey Peter, wanna get chimichangas tonight?

Metal Man

HOW DID YOU INTERRUPT ME IN A TEXT?

Insane Princess

I've got connections with the author

Archery Pigeon

You. Are. Not. In. A . Book.

Insane Princess

Yes. I. Am.

Also. I. Love. Peter. Parker.

Metal Man

eXuSe Me?

You

Yeah, I know.

I love you too.

Metal Man

eXuSe Me? TIMES TWO

Joker Blowtorch

I SHIP IT!

Insane Princess

ME TOO!

*:･ﾟ✧ ~⭐️~✧ﾟ･: *

A/N:

JUST ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: WADE IS THE SAME AGE AS PETER

Thanks for reading! We hope you liked the chapter!

- 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫 & Sundew ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔ