dakota's pov

"so your mom's really making you have this dinner?" liam asked whilst sitting up against my headboard with his knees hunched up.

i let out a huge sigh as i stared at my jeans and bardot top in the mirror, "yep".

"why don't you just tell her what happened so you don't have to sit at the same table as him?".

"no" i fixed my hair before walking over to the bed. "our parents have already planned it and they'll be here any minute. i can't turn back now".

liam sat staring at me for a while as i thought about how this dinner would go, almost as if he was trying to figure something out.

"...are you okay?" he questioned. "i could ask your mom if i could stay for dinner if you want, y'know be by your side".

"no, i'm fine" i quickly nodded to assure him. "our movie marathon earlier cheered me up".

liam cringed, "wish i could say the same".

"shut up!" i laughed and harmlessly slapped his arm. "you love disney pixar".

"yeah, sure" unconvincingly, he responded. my eyes widened. "don't hate me if i say no".

"liam!".

"i'm sorry! it's just not my thing".

i folded my arms, pretending to be dramatically hurt by his lie, "but you told me that you loved it".

"no, you love disney pixar! i just pretend to, okay. that's what you do for the people that you love" liam informed.

i could tell that he immediately realised how his words could have come across when i awkwardly cleared my throat and his eyes lightly widened.

"dakota, nate, come down! the gilinskys will be here soon" mom yelled, thankfully interrupting the awkward silence.

"i think my mom is outside to pick me up anyways" liam scratched the back of his neck. we both got up and left my room yet i took a moment at the top of the staircase to breath calmly.

"what's up with you?" nate scoffed out a laugh at my breathing exercises.

"nothing".

"well, i still heard what gilinsky did even though you refused to tell me" he announced, walking down the staircase behind liam and i.

i glared back at him, "then why'd you ask?" sharply, i said.

"could have been something else" he answered. "but he's a dick and i've said that since day one".

i rolled my eyes as i wasn't in the mood for an 'i told you so'.

"yeah well mom doesn't seem to think so - she believes that this dinner will "benefit" mine and jack's status" i grimaced.

nate creased his brows at me, "you haven't told her?".

"she's refusing to" liam jumped in.

"i'm not refusing, i just don't want her to worry" i explained followed by the doorbell ringing.

"i better leave" liam told, picking up his school bag. "i'll see you at school tomorrow, dakota".

he gave me a quick smile and opened the front door to a nicely dressed mr and mrs gilinsky. he politely said hello to them, but brushed past jack without any intention to acknowledge him.

"but either way i don't care anymore" i whispered over to nate. "i'm done with jack".

jack and his parents started gathering into the house, taking off their jackets and happily greeting us.

"katherine, david, jack, so glad you could make it" my mother hugged them all.

"of course" jack's mom smiled warmly.

i looked away as jack's eyes landed on mine before he snapped himself out of it and handed over a wine bottle.

"this is for you, sarah" he said to my mom.

"thank you, jack. come in everyone, come in. take a seat in the living room and dinner's almost ready" she gestured towards the next room.

mr and mrs gilinsky said their hellos to nate and i but once jack got to us, nate and i simultaneously ignored any greeting that he tried to give us.

my mom stroked down my hair whilst handing me the new bottle of wine, "place this on the dinner table for me, sweetie".

i nodded and did as i was told - heading into the dining room and trying to figure out where to put it.

"hey".

i turned to see jack leant against the doorway with his hands firmly sitting in his trouser pockets.

"hey" i said, focusing back on finding the perfect place for the wine. "is there something that you need?".

"no, i just want to see how you are".

i cleared my throat and settled down the bottle, "i'm fine. great, actually".

i whipped around to leave the dining room as promptly as i could but bumped directly into jack. i was forced to cling onto his arms to prevent myself from falling back, yet i let go once i realised what i did.

i didn't even hear his footsteps move closer to me.

"how many times do i have to say sorry before you forgive me, dakota?" he questioned with his eyes soft and his tongue moistening his lips.

i stared up at his taller-self, not knowing whether to say that i wish i could just forgot about what he did, accept his sorry and kiss him until i couldn't anymore.

but i stopped my messy thoughts and gestured out the room. i just really don't want to get into this now.

"i think my mom needs my help in the kitchen" i muttered and went around him to head to the kitchen.

later that evening, everyone finally sat at the dining table - my mom on one end, mr gilinsky on the other, nate and i sat next to each other then jack sat next to his mom, directly opposite me.

throughout, i've just been trying my best to not look up from my plate because every time that i do, jack is either annoyingly staring straight at me or pretending that he wasn't.

"so kids, it's almost the end of your senior year. how do you feel?" katherine asked us.

i shrugged unknowingly alongside jack and nate.

"okay" i spoke for us all.

my mom sipped her wine, "how are finals this week?" she inquired then turned to mr and mrs gilinsky. "nate and dakota have been studying extremely hard".

"jack's been doing the same" david gestured to his son. "i mean, you can't get a football scholarship with bad grades".

"oh yes, the football scholarship" mom nodded her head. "where are you planning on going to college, jack?".

"um, usc, hopefully" he replied.

"aw, your parents must feel lucky that you're staying so close to home - nate's taking a gap year for travelling and dakota's wisking away to new york for an english major" mom informed.

"wow, the big apple? that's incred—".

"new york?" jack interrupted his mom, looking directly at me.

"yes, nyu" my mom told him.

"i thought you wanted to go to stanford?" jack slowly settled down his knife and fork.

i glanced at everyone's eyes suddenly glued to me, that i slid down a little in my chair.

"i changed my mind" i quietly answered.

jack immediately frowned, "when?".

"don't worry, sweetie" katherine held his arm. "i'm sure that you can visit dakota as many times as you'd like".

"but not too much, son" david added. "i am all for young love and high school sweethearts, but college studies f—".

"can i be excused?" i cut him off until i realised how rude i must have been. "...i'm sorry, please?".

"sure, honey" mom looked at me with concern before i pushed myself back and quickly headed upstairs to my room.

i sat down on my bed and pushed my hair back, trying my best to take a few deep breathes to relax from the dinner conversation.

i lay back onto the sheets and closed my eyes for a few seconds. i heard my bedroom door open soon after, so i rose up and sighed at jack standing in the middle of my room.

"what are you doing in here?" i mumbled.

"nyu? seriously?" he inquired once again, forcing me to frustratedly push my hair back.

he shook his head at me and rubbed my chin.

"all those times when we'd lay on that bed talking or when i was texting you as olivia, you were set on stanford and i was usc. we joked about how we thought it was a sign that we were the perfect match, since we were already planning on going to college so close to one another" jack reminded me.

i looked back at my bed, remembering exactly how i laid in his arms and the entire conversation that we had that day. a tiny smile began to grow on my lips, but i instantly snapped myself out of it and folded my arms.

"five hours isn't close, jack".

"but it was closer than new york city" he retorted.

i stood up, "what does it even matter now anyways? you and me never worked out so we can go to whatever the hell colleges we want to".

jack's face dropped as despair began to take over, "...so you honestly don't care?".

"no, not now. no".

"i don't believe you".

"well you should because the applications are all sent and if i get in, i'm going" i sternly explained.

jack stared at me for a while, taking in how serious i was being and continuing to stand there with a face that was strangely beginning to make me feel sorry for him.

"...look, i'm sorry for sleeping with crystal. i know that we weren't together, but in the moment i thought it would help me get over you" he confessed. "this is gonna sound pathetic but it broke me when you said that we couldn't be together".

i narrowed my eyes at him, "so what you did was my fault?".

"no, it was mine. i shouldn't have let her get into my head but she did and i regret it, and i'm sorry" jack corrected. "but you came to say that you made a mistake calling us off and—".

"i thought i did" i shook my head. "i thought i made a mistake but you did exactly what i was afraid of - hurt me and make me loose all trust in you".

i swallowed the lump in my throat, holding in my salty tears as jack guiltily dropped his head.

"...and the fact that you did that with fucking crystal harris" the lump cracked my voice whilst i stared up the boy that i'm painfully, and forever will be crazy about.

in that moment, there was a knock on my bedroom door followed by it opening. i wiped my eyes and glanced over at nate standing in the doorway.

"um, there's dessert downstairs" he informed us.

he glimpsed over at me, noticing my puffy eyes and mouthed 'you okay?'. i replied by quickly nodding my head.

"we'll be down in a second" i said, leaving nate to understand and head back out of the room.

"dakota, please" jack turned back to me and gently held my hand.

"i can't keep doing this, jack" i lightly pulled out of his hold. "i have bigger things to focus on like finals, so that i can get the grades and go to nyu - whether you like it or not".

the confidence in my voice shocked me for a second, but i knew that it all had to be said.

-

pls don't hate me for disappearing and reappearing all the time. university is a lot, i love you all and i am determined to finish this book.

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