Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or the weird ass moon thing gets it 🌝🔫

It's been about 2 months since they met Kite (Kite really needs a break ...and 82 cups of coffee)

"I have Hunter work to do, don't blowup to many countries while I'm gone." Kite said before abandoning us without another word. Not even a bye.

"..."

"..."

"...So, are we gonna follow him?" Killua asked.

"Obviously. Get the glitter bombs, the crows, and the Kentucky fried children." I replied.

We're about to ruin this man's whole career, literally. Can you get fired from being a hunter? Eh, we'll just have to find out I guess.

"The audacity, he lets us teleport into his house, helps us take over the world, becomes our dad, and then leaves? How rude."

"Yes, how dare he let us live in his house."

"Oh god, he even cooked for us."

"And he took us shopping. Pure evil."

How dare someone decide to be an actually good parent. Just the audacity of this man.

"We should probably start following him though." Kalluto mentioned.

"Alright, but first we need music. Any suggestions?" I asked.

"CPR!"

"Barney is a dinosaur!"

"Slumber party!"

"Numb little bug."

And then I used my god powers to make a mashup song. CPR x Barney is a dinosaur x Slumber party x Numb little bug. Needless to say, it was terrible. I love it.

After following Kite and somehow not getting caught

"And that's what we know about the Cimera ants-"

"Surprise shawtyyyy!" We shouted, glitter bombing the whole room while blasting our amazing mashup song.

"...God is dead. Nobody can save me now..." Kite muttered.

"You have no idea how accurate you are." I replied.

"...Do I even want to know?"

"Yes, you do. So it all started with Jinx, a normal cat who had used all of his nine lives-"

After explaining everything about Jinx, our lord and savior

"That story was so idiotic that I'm starting to think it might be true." Kite said. Yes, worship Jinx.

"Anyways there also Dave, or David for short-"

"Wut."

"Shhh, let me finish my story."

After the best explaining ever-

"I don't think my brain can handle another story.." Kite muttered.

"Oh yes, then we have the cornbread cult."

"God no."

"God is dead, there's no one left to save you. You should've ran when you had the chance."

(Please imagine Kite, Gon, Killua, Kalluto, and Y/n sitting on the floor, covered in glitter- Kite is about to kill himself, Killua is flirting with Gon, Gon doesn't understand- and Kalluto is consuming ice cream that is also covered in glitter.)

So many braincells were lost that day. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that we know have another Jinx follower.

After awhile of forcing Kite to lose braincells we let him figure out what his job was.. kinda...

"And so that's why the Chinera ants are a threat."

"Why?"

"Because they are going to kill people."

"Why?"

"Because it's how they survive."

"Why?"

"I don't know!"

"Why?"

"This is why I hate children."

"Why?"

"Are you just going to keep saying that?"

"Why?"

"It's annoying."

"Why?"

"Because it is- I'm not even going to respond anymore."

"Why?"

"..."

"Why? Why? Why? Why, why, why, why? Why? Why? W h y? Why, why, why? Why. Why? Why? Why? Why, why, why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Wh-"

"Please stop..."

"Why?"

"I have a headache."

"Why?"

The joys of being a child, you can ask 'Why' repeatedly, and it's normal. Why would anyone want to be a parent. What's wrong with them. Have they ever seen a child? They're evil.

That being said,

I love my children. Especially Kangaroo, I mean- Kalluto... Ah shit. I mean- I love all my children equally. Haha-

"Goddamnit. I'm never going to get rid of you, am I?" Kite asked. Haha, you've shown us love and affection, we're never leaving. N e v e r. If you die we'll just revive you. Not even death can save you.

"Haha, absolutely not." Killua replied.

"So I'm just stuck with Ging-but-make-it-small, Baby-assassin, Ice-cream-addict, and Chaos-incarnate. Great."

"Baby-assassin!?"

Haha, Killua was not happy.

"What was the job about anyways?" Gon asked.

"A species called Chimera ants, it's under a designated quarantine, level one. Apparently a large Chimera ant leg washed up on shore, probably due to mutation." Kite explained.

"How large is the leg?" Killua asked.

"From what I've heard- ...You guys aren't joining me on this mission." Kite said. It's way to late for that.

"Haha, it's to late for that. You'll never get rid of us." Killua replied.

"Yeah, I've already made a whole list of the places we can take over on the way!" Gon said.

"Showing us love and affection was a terrible choice on your part." Kalluto added. Holy shit, when did you get here!? I assumed you had ran away again.

I've realized that Kalluto doesn't talk much. He's either:

A. Shy

B. Staying silent so we won't notice when he runs away to get ice cream

C. Insane and talking to the voices in his head

D. Trying to keep his remaining braincells alive by not communicating with us

E. Is silently watching us, observing, trying to figure out all of our fears and weaknesses. He'll sell information to Google for money. He uses the money to buy more ice cream. As our armies grow the need for information grow as well. Kalluto needs the money. Selling each bit of information for millions of dollars, people around the world are planning a rebellion. But it will fail in the end, we shall remain superior.

F. Honestly just a quiet person

I'm gonna guess it's all of them combined.

"Goddamnit. I'm-"

"We're*" Killua corrected. Yes, you'll never be alone. Depending on how you look at it, that can be a good thing.

"We're going to see some of my friends. They'll be helping us with the mission." It's good to know that you've already accepted your fate.

Whenever they meet up with the friend people, y'know the people that are friends? Do y'all even know what a friend is? :)

"What's with the kids?" Random person asked. Everyone I don't know is just titled 'Random person' now.

"We're Kites adopted children." Gon replied.

"You adopted children and didn't tell us!?"

"They teleported into my house and then they just kind of stuck around." Kite sighed.

"So they aren't your children?"

"No, they're not my children."

"I'm going to eat some ice cream." Kalluto's said.

"No. You're still grounded." Kite replied.

"Uh huh. Are you sure they're not your children." Random girl questioned.

"...Shut up Spin." Kite muttered, regretting his life decisions. Huh. I think my ability is making people love me and regret meeting me at the same time. Interesting.

"Oh yeah, my names Spinner Clow, Spin for short. Pleasure to meet you." Spin greeted.

"I'm Gon Freecss! Nice to meet you!" Gon replied.

"It's still His-dad-gone..." Killua mumbled.

"...Hang on, Freecss? Wait, does that mean you're-"

"Yep. This boy is Ging's son." Kite stated.

"What about you guys? Are you Ging's children too?" Random guy asked.

"No, that's just Gon. *cough* His-dad-gone *cough* I'm Killua Zoldyck."

"I'm Kalluto Zoldyck."

"I'm a disappointment." I added.

"Why do they get your names so easily? It took over 12 hours before you introduced yourselves to me." Kite asked. I mean, I didn't actually tell them my name. I just told them all they needed to know.

If you think about, can they really be disappointed if they already expect to be disappointed?

Actually. Looking at the authors siblings, there's always a way to become more disappointed in someone.

"I don't think we finished introducing ourselves. My name is Monta Yuras, but you can just call me Mon."

"And my names Stick Dinner!" Wut.

"That just leaves me, I'm Banana Kavaro. Nice to meet you." Who came up with these names. How do you usually introduce yourself? 'Names Dinner, this is my friend Banana.' Like what?

"Podungo and Lin complete the team. Where are they now?" Kite asked.

I love how everyone ignored the fact that I didn't actually introduce myself. But, to be fair, if these people have names like Dinner and Banana, they might think Disappointment is my real name.

"They're both heading toward the area of the sighting." Mon replied.

"Those two always move so quickly. Cmon, we she start heading that way as well." Kite sighed.

"Yeah, and we can-"

"We aren't taking over another country on the way there." Kite stated. Damnit.

"Wait, another?"

You guys don't take over countries with Kite? L. Imagine. World domination is the best way to find sacrifices- I mean, friends. The best way to find friends.

Word count: 1537

Fun Facts:

• Kite is just done with life- You can't blame him-

• I think it's hilarious "You're not alone." Can be both comforting, and terrifying depending on the situation.
If Google said that to me I would just kill my self instantly- no hesitation. Please keep Google away from me.

• Does anybody use normal weapons in HxH!? No- seriously-

Gon- A fishing pole
Killua- A Yo-yo
Illumi- Needle things
Kalluto- Paper
Hisoka- Cards
Chrollo- A book Ig
Machi- Sewing needles
Shalnark- A phone
Shizuku- A vacuum

Like was the person who came up with these ideas high or- And then the names are ironic to-

An assassin? Kill-you-ah
A kid with a missing father? (His-dad)Gon(e)
Someone with yellow hair? Kurapika(chu)

And then we got Kite, Banana, and Dinner- If I asked someone who their favorite anime characters are and they respond with "Kite, Banana, and Dinner." I'd be hella confused