Eat foad, dirnk waetr, and get 5+ huors of slaep toniht or I'll coplmetely firget how to spoll

After we absolutely destroyed Razor with nothing but a dodgeball, a hockey puck, and a cat, we went to collect all the other Pokémon cards we needed.

Apparently, very peacefully, stealing the rest of the cards we needed was not difficult. How does everyone in this game barely know Nen? The cult could beat these guys, and they don't even know Nen!

...

Okay, to be fair, the cult are all mentally unstable, somewhat trained, teenagers with no will to live. And they have access to a large amount of hockey pucks.

Do you know how many people have been hockey-pucked in the last hour? More than I can count. Bisky only taught me how to count to ten...

Oh well, counting isn't that important. I just needed to learn how to count higher then those kindergartners can.

Ah shit, there's a quiz!?!? Bro I didn't pass kindergarten help-

Jinxus crimes, our lord and savior, please gift me with the ability to pass the quiz.

"I already made you a god, figure it out yourself. Idiot."

Thank you Jinx. The calling me an idiot wasn't necessary, but it was true so oh well.

They're quizzing us about the Pokémon cards? Bro I don't even know how to access the binder thing. I haven't collected a single card.

Thank Jinx for god powers, I shall now ace this quiz. Yes, I'm going to cheat. If Ging creates a stupid quiz in a stupid game I'm definitely not going to waste my time actually trying to figure shit out. I have better things to do.

I actually don't have better things to do. Oh well.

"The quiz is over, I will now announce the player who received the top score. With a total of 100 out of 100 points, the winning player is Y/n." Random-lady-that's-not-even-here said. No seriously, where the fuck is that voice coming from? Why is everyone acting like this is normal?

"You didn't collect any cards! You don't even know how to open your binder!" Killua shouted.

"Shhh, there's no need to be a sore loser." I replied.

"Damn, and we were still trying to find that Strip of beach card." Shalnark complained.

"Oh, that's the one I helped them get!" Uvogin said. Ah yes, drama time.

"You helped them? We we're trying to beat the game before them!" Gay stated.

"We were?"

Apparently Uvogin did not understand the assignment. Oh well, it worked in our favor.

Did a bird just drop a envelope on my head? Rude. Littering is not pog.

Ooo, I've received my first card. I'm invited to a random castle? Cool.

My terrible advice of the day: If a random stranger invites to a random place you should definitely go there. Please don't remember this.

"Hey Killua, we should definitely steal this castle." I suggested.

"Hell yeah. I can make some adjustments and then it'll be perfect!" Killua replied.

"Cool. Can we go home now?" Machi asked.

"Yes, I've released you dearest mother. Be free."

Wow, not even a goodbye.

"Anygays, I'll be entering the castle. Imagine not winning." I said.

"You only won because you cheated!"

Imagine not winning. What a loser.

"Welcome to Greed Island castle." Random-person greeted.

"Hullo."

"This way." Random-person said, opening a door.

What the fuck, this room looks like it hasn't been cleaned in years. It's just like the authors room,

"I've brought Y/n. The top scorer."

"Huh? Oh, hey! I've been waiting for you! Go ahead and take a seat!" Bro where am I supposed to sit? Screw this, ima fucking float.

"Uhh, hang on. Where did I put it? Aha! Here it is! There you go!" Random-guy said, tossing a card at me. Yay, my second card.

I honestly stopped listening awhile ago, all I know is I have a device that will let me take three cards back to the real world. I don't even have three cards. Help.

"Here the thing, Ging is a huge jerk!" Yeah, I'm aware. "A huge jerk! My name is Dwun. You got that? And what do you think the first letter is?!" Dwun yelled.

"3" I replied. 3 is my favorite letter.

"..That's not even a letter!"

"It's close enough."

"It's W!" Dwun yelled.

Lol, this fucking loser had his names changed. This is the only reason I somewhat like Ging. The only reason.

"Yo, here's this, pick three cards." I said, tossing the device thing to Bisky.

I honestly have no idea where everyone went. I'm assuming that they went home.

...I wonder.

"Illumi."

"I heard my name."

Welp, he's still here.

"The game is over now, you can go home." I informed.

"I'm aware. This hole is my home now." Illumi replied before retreating back into his hole.

Ah, okay then.

"Hey, we got the cards we wanted. Let's go." Killua said.

One confusing card transformation later

"Accompany on! Ging!" (It was Nigg in the anime but that's confusing so I'm just switching it Ig-)

They do know that I can teleport, right? Oh well, I'm not interested in getting physically harmed today.

According to statistics, whoever is in front of us is not Ging. He's A, way to hot to be Ging. B, Has to good of fashion taste to be related to Gon. C, Looks completely different from Gon.

Wow, I'm surprised I could do that with my single, dying, braincell.

(They speedran Greed Island so Chinera ants haven't shown up yet- world domination it is)

"Ging?"

"Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you? Who you is? Who you be? Huh? I don't even know yo ass." Le gasp, he's hot and he's cultured. This is amazing.

Talking about hot people, I'm still ignoring Hisoka. ..Yeah he's definitely going to annoy the shit out of me. Oh well, I'll just hide.

Welcome back to: Terrible advice that you shouldn't remember! Run away from all your problems, especially if your problems are Hisoka.

Not so terrible advice, do not associate with anyone who reminds you of Hisoka. *cough* Google *cough*

"How rude~" If you think that that's Hisoka, you're wrong. It's just Google. Google is more terrifying.

Perfect, author has muted him. For now at least.

"Ging?"

"I am not your father." Random guy said in a Darth Vader voice. I think I just like guys with long hair.

You want to know what's better then guys with long hair?

Women.

Women are hot as fuck.

I would say enough talking about women, but there is no suck thing as enough talking about women.

"Damn. And I really wanted to brutally murder someone today..." Killua sighed. Same.

Technically, I could teleport to Ging. But then I'd have to see Ging. And ew, just ew. Plus, whenever I talk about my teleporting ability I get injured.

"Hey, I brought ice cream." Kalluto said.

"Oh, thanks Kalluto!"

"Thanks I guess."

"You really need to stop running away."

"So am I the only one questioning why that child just crawled out of the vent?" Random guy asked. Don't worry, you'll get used to our bullshit soon.

I may have forgot to mention that we're keeping this random person. He's never going to get rid of us.

"We don't talk about Kalluto. Wait no-" Killua said.

We don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Bruno... but
It was my wedding day
It was our wedding day
We were getting ready, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky
No clouds allowed in the sky
Bruno walks in with a mischievous grin-
Thunder!
You telling this story, or am I?
I'm sorry, mi vida, go on
Bruno says, "It looks like rain"
Why did he tell us?
In doing so, he floods my brain
Abuela, get the umbrellas
Married in a hurricane
What a joyous day... but anyway
We don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Bruno!
Hey! Grew to live in fear of Bruno stuttering or stumbling
I could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling
I associate him with the sound of falling sand, ch-ch-ch
It's a heavy lift, with a gift so humbling
Always left Abuela and the family fumbling
Grappling with prophecies they couldn't understand
Do you understand?
A seven-foot frame
Rats along his back
When he calls your name
It all fades to black
Yeah, he sees your dreams
And feasts on your screams (hey!)
We don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no! (We don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no!)
We don't talk about Bruno (we don't talk about Bruno!)
He told me my fish would die
The next day: dead! (No, no!)
He told me I'd grow a gut!
And just like he said... (no, no!)
He said that all my hair would disappear, now look at my head (no, no! Hey!)
Your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read!
He told me that the life of my dreams would be promised, and someday be mine
He told me that my power would grow, like the grapes that thrive on the vine
Óye, Mariano's on his way
He told me that the man of my dreams would be just out of reach
Betrothed to another
It's like I hear him now
Hey sis', I want not a sound out of you (it's like I can hear him now)
I can hear him now
Um, Bruno...
Yeah, about that Bruno...
I really need to know about Bruno...
Gimmie the truth and the whole truth, Bruno
(Isabella, your boyfriend's here)
Time for dinner!
A seven-foot frame (it was my wedding day, it was our wedding day)
Rats along his back (we were getting ready)
When he calls your name (and there wasn't a cloud in the sky)
It all fades to black (no clouds allowed in the sky!)
Yeah, he sees your dreams (Bruno walks in with a mischievous grin-)
And feasts on your screams (thunder!)
You telling this story, or am I?
I'm sorry, mi vida, go on (óye, Mariano's on his way)
Bruno says, "It looks like rain" (a seven-foot frame, rats along his back)
In doing so, he floods my brain
Married in a hurricane
He's here!
Don't talk about Bruno, no! (Why did I talk about Bruno?)
Not a word about Bruno!
I never should've brought up Bruno!

And then Killua got to hear me, Gon, Kalluto, and random guy terribly sing we don't talk about Bruno for the next eight hours. Without breaks.

I still don't know this guys name.

Word count: 1863

Fun Facts:

• I'm sorry, you can't look at Kite and tell me that he doesn't look like a depressed, sleep deprived, bitch with absolutely no will to live. He definitely has the amazing ✨clock app✨ (TikTok incase y'all don't understand)

• I have the whole We Don't Talk About Bruno song memorized- if you don't like Encanto you can leave

• Mmm, I didn't have ideas so I just added We Don't Talk About Bruno- oh well-