What the fuck Dumbass Drumline- why would you say that- I have been cursed- my poor brain 😭

Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or the fly gets it 🦟🔫

I was watching Gon's torture- I mean, training. And obviously, being the amazing kidnapper- parent that I am, I spent the whole time making fun of him.

I'm such a good parent.

*Insert whooshing sound*

It's a bird. It's a plane. No seriously what is that, why is it about to crash right next to us.

Ah yes, this is completely normal, a human(?) falling(?) out of the sky and landing right next to us. Actually, considering that I literally know a cat god, this is pretty normal.

"Aren't you-"

"I can see that your other friends aren't with you." Random alien(?) guy said, interrupting Bisky. How dare you, let our goddess speak.

"What's that thing on your shoulder?" Bisky asked.

"The bomber got us." Alien guy answered. Imagine, fucking loser. "Hear me out. I have something to say." Well yes, if you want us to 'hear you out' then you'd have to have something to say. It's just logic.

Now because he told me to hear him out, I obviously did the exact opposite and spaced out for the majority of the conversation.

"So he was the bomber..." Who was the bomber? What did I miss? Wait, never mind, I don't care.

(When you space out in a conversation but you're to shy to have them repeat what they said- 🥲)

"The others are back in our hideout, waiting for him to disarm the bombs. They believe in the terms he gave them. But I'm not as convinced." Alien guy stated. Very nice story, can I get back to watching Gon fail miserably at training.

"Now what? What can we do?" Gon asked. We can do absolutely nothing, I need to make fun of you more.

"If they're prepared to accept casualties-" Bisky suggested. You're so smart.

"Won't happen." Alien guy cut off. Let the goddess speak. "The very first ones to jump him will be the first ones to be sacrificed. Who would ever volunteer for that?" *Cough* All the suicidal Wattpad readers *Cough*.

Ah shit, I spaced out again. It's not my fault the story is so boring. A three year old could tell a more interesting story.

Oh, alien guy is leaving.

"I think we should drop by their hideout real fast." Gon suggested. Oh yeah, if anyone is still alive we can watch them suffer,

"Time's probably already up for them. Besides, he didn't even tell us where it is. And even if we could find it we'd still need a spell card that could take us there." Bisky replied.

"I know. But some of them could've survived the explosion. It's possible." Yes, we need to see people in pain.

And we're talking about the bomber again, time to space out.

(What do you mean the author is lazy and doesn't want to copy the whole hour (1 minute) long speeches? I would never.)

And now we're going back to Masadora, for the third time this week. Yay.

"How long do you think it will take me to master my signature move?" Gon asked. I mean, I could just gift you with godlike powers.

"Well, you are just starting to develop your Nen. Hard to say when your power and speed will peak. That said, I'd be more than a little bit surprised if it took you very long to get the form down." Bisky replied.

"Or, I could give you infinite power for absolutely no reason." I suggested.

"You can do that?" Both of them asked in unison. I've already said I'm capable of literally everything. How is this surprising?

"Yep."

"Huh, I think I want to earn my power on my own." Gon said. God I hate green haired main characters, always with their self righteous speeches. Gon, I love you, but you literally just turned down infinite powers.

"Hey, we're here." Bisky mentioned. Yeah, I kinda noticed by the random floating things in the sky.

Perfect, now we just need to find a shop. Can't be to difficult with all the useless Npcs, the lack of maps, and the random buildings that don't have signs. How fun.

After finding a spell card shop- (*cough* 32 minutes later *cough*)

"You three are so lucky. We just recently received a huge shipment of different spell cards." The shop keeper exclaimed. Why are you so happy. Your emotions are disgusting. Stop.

(Illumi when Killua said he wanted to be Gon's friend be like-)

After we got spell cards we headed back to continue Gon's training. He, sadly, was actually doing pretty well. Meaning I couldn't make fun of him.

Now I don't have anyone to make fun of. Very sad.

...

...

...

Wait! The troupe exists! Time to annoy them. Ah yes, I live such a meaningful life.

"Hello guys, gals, and non-binary pals! Welcome back to Top 10 Reasons Why! Today I'll be telling you the top 10 reasons why none of you are straight!" Ah yes, the perfect greeting.

"I swear you somehow get more mentally unstable every time I see you." Machi mumbled. Of course, being a mentally unstable child is my only personality trait. I have no idea why you wanted to adopt me in the first place.

"Reason number 10: Because making gay jokes is fun, and it is one of the top reasons people become gay." I stated. It's the same with suicidal jokes, and possibly disabled jokes. It's just amazing.

"Are you seriously going to give us all 10 reasons?" Gay complained.

I did. I gave them all 10 reasons, plus a bonus reason. We'll be back next week with another episode of: Top 10 Reasons Why!

"Anygays, how have y'all been doing? Caught any Pokémon yet?" I asked.

"We collected some cards." Daddy replied. It annoys him so much when I call him daddy. It's hilarious.

"And by collected, you mean you stole from innocent people who just wanted to play Pokémon."

"Exactly."

Ah yes, such a good family. We're excellent role models. You should be just like us. Remember children, you must cause absolute chaos.

"What were you doing anyways?" Shalnark asked. Besides being gay and committing crimes, not much.

"Uhh, I got Illumi to play Greed Island."

"Is that why it looks like you lost a fight with 3 raccoons with knifes, but one had a gun, and there was actually a fourth one that had a sniper?" Uhhh.. what's his name.. (super aggressive) Hole puncher guy said.

"Yep. I'm going to die the moment Illumi sees me." I replied.

"Your lack of self preservation skills never ceases to amaze me." Chrollo muttered.

"What I'm hearing is that you think I'm amazing." I'm sure that's exactly what he meant.

"I- no."

"What I'm hearing is you don't think your child is amazing. Which is basically emotional abuse. Which is toxic. Which means you're not being a good parent."

Lol, he left.

"Maybe if I fall in love with anxiety it will also leave me!" I shouted.

I'm such a good child. I'm the definition of a perfect child.

No. I have no idea why anyone wants me. I'm terrible.

How else to annoy literally everyone I know..

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I (do I)
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (say it)
Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on)
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it (to say it)
Inside, we both know what's been going on (going on)
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

"Can you stop playing that on repeat!" Nobunaga shouted.

"Alright, I'll choose a different song." I replied.

"Wait, no-"

Everything is awesome
Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome
When you're living out a dream
Everything is better when we stick together
Side by side, you and I are gonna win forever
Let's party forever
We're the same, I'm like you, you're like me
We are working in harmony
Everything is awesome
Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome
When you're living out a dream
Woo! Three, two, one, go!
Have you heard the news? Everyone's talking
Life is good 'cause everything's awesome
Lost my job, there's a new opportunity
More free time for my awesome community
I feel more awesome than an awesome possum
Dip my body in chocolate frosting
Three years later, wash off the frosting
Smelling like a blossom, everything is awesome
Stepped in mud, got new brown shoes
It's awesome to win and it's awesome to lose, awesome to lose
Everything is better when we stick together
Side by side, you and I are gonna win forever
Let's party forever
We're the same, I'm like you, you're like me
We are working in harmony
Everything is awesome
Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome
When you're living out a dream
Blue skies, bouncy springs
We just named two awesome things
A Nobel Prize, a piece of string
You know what's awesome? Everything!
Dogs with fleas, allergies
A book of Greek antiquities
Brand new pants, a very old vest
Awesome items are the best
Trees, frogs, clogs, they're awesome
Rocks, clocks, and socks, they're awesome
Figs, and jigs, and twigs, that's awesome
Everything you see or think or say is awesome
Everything is awesome
Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome
When you're living out a dream

Using my godly powers, I did the most necessary thing in existence: I blasted Everything Is Awesome throughout the whole island. I'm sure Illumi loved that.

Word count: 1993

Fun Facts:

• Me: Has no idea how to finish a chapter.
Me: *Just adds annoy asf songs*

• Day 1,792 of Y/n making everybody hate them.
(Not me having no ideas for Fun Facts- I'm very smort. ..Why did it want to autocorrect Smort to short- I'm not very short guys, trust me- 😭😭)

• You lost the game ;)

(You're given full permission to hate me. I hate myself too 😔)