I NEED SOME FUCKING IDEAS GUYS (And gals, and non-binary pals) WTF DO I DO IN THE GREED ISLAND ARC-

BRUH I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HALF THE ARC ALL I KNOW IS THEY'RE COLLECTING POKÉMON CARDS AND THEY FIGHT SOME BAKUGO WANNABE (And Bisky of course-)

(And that Hisoka was naked- I remember that very well 😗)

ANYWAYS BACK TO GIVING ME IDEAS- GIVE ME DEM IDEAS

(Just so you know- Chrollo doesn't lose his nen and Hisoka didn't get a chance to try to fight him- yes the troupe will probably still go to Greed Island tho-)

Eat food, drink water, and sleep for 5+ hours today or Jinx will be disappointed in you (you need to be healthy-ish to cause chaos)

"Are we seriously letting these three join?" Gay whined. Yes. Why wouldn't you let the three most unstable children in the world join y'all?

"They aren't that bad." Chrollo replied.

"...Have you seen them!?"

I have no idea what they're talking about. Blasting never gonna give you up through every speaker in Yorknew is completely normal.

"I'm boreddddd." Killua complained.

"Uvogin, Nobunaga, entertain the children." Chrollo ordered. Damn, we got some slaves now or something?

"Why do we need to entertain them!" Nobunaga complained. You're just mad that Gon beat you in Mario cart ...38 times in a row.

"Would you rather have them decide to cause chaos?"

"We'll entertain them!"

You act like we're terrible, everyone has glitter bombed a city at least once in their life. It's pretty common for people to plan world domination. Everything we do is just part of childhood experience.

"What do you want to do?" Uvogin asked.

"Y/n?" Gon said. Hmmmm.

"Uvogin is cool, don't bully him." I stated.

"...What would've happened if he wasn't cool?" Nobunaga questioned. Haha... he would've wished I never revived him.

"Unimportant. Let's play tag." Killua replied.

Honestly, the best game of tag I've ever played. The only rules was to stay inside the city and to not kill other players. The best part was that the mafia was also chasing us. I almost got bombed twice, I could've died! It was awesome!

Plus I got to shove Killua off of a building. Was it necessary? absolutely not. But I did it anyways. The look of absolute betrayal in his eyes was amazing.

"How do you kids have so much energy!?" Nobunaga shouted. Imagine not being able to tag anyone. Couldn't be us.

"You're just slow, old man!" Killua shouted back. Old man was a very fitting name for him.

After about an hour Nobunaga gave up. Imagine being the slowest. Man got outran by literal children.

"We should get Kalluto to join the troupe!" Gon suggested. Yes. Favorite chil- Kalluto must be converted to the ways of pure chaos. I don't have a favorite guys. No favoritism here.

About 378 seconds later

"So let me get this straight, you want me to join a criminal organization that our dad specifically told us to stay away from, are commonly targeted by Hunters, and killed Kurapika's family?" Kalluto questioned. That's exactly what we're saying.

"Exactly, glad you understand." Killua replied.

"Do I have a choice?" Kalluto asked.

"Obviously. But if you say no we'll wake you up every night exactly five minutes and twenty three seconds after you fall asleep by blasting the Caillou theme song." Gon answered. Ah yes, very fair options here.

"So my options are joining an emo cult group, or never sleeping?"

"You'd get five minutes and twenty three seconds of sleep." Gon corrected.

"And it's an emo cult plus a clown." I added.

"God damn. So my options are joining an emo cult plus a clown or only sleeping for five minutes and twenty three seconds at a time."

"Exactly!"

"I hate all of you." Kalluto muttered. Ouch.

"So, which option are you choosing?" Killua asked. Yes, it will be difficult to decide with these completely fair options. We aren't forcing you to join the troupe- I mean emo cult. (plus a clown).

"I'm joining the Phantom troupe I guess." Kalluto sighed. Yay!

About 1,133 seconds later

"Troupe, this is Kalluto. Kalluto is my favorite child. Kalluto is the most mentally stable out of all of us. Kalluto is amazing. We must praise Kalluto as a god. Kalluto is joining the troupe. We did not force him to join the troupe. Trust us." I introduced.

"...Short." Feitan said. Fei, he's ten, you're.. however old you are. (Author has no idea- ima assume Kalluto is around 10.)

"Please help m-" Kalluto pleaded. Shhh. There is no need for help. You're completely safe. Everything is perfectly fine.

"Ignore him." Killua cut off.

"Wait, did boss allow him to join?" Nobunaga asked.

"Yes." I replied. Chrollo definitely did not allow this.

"And you didn't force him to join?"

"Correct." Yeah we definitely forced him to join.

"So he was joking when he asked for help?"

"Yep." Absolutely not.

"So is everyone just allowed to join the troupe now?" Gay complained.

"I'm starting to think you don't like us." Gon mentioned. Hmmm.. nah, everybody loves us. We're amazing. ..Well maybe not Killua.

"What do you even have against Killua?" Jinx asked.

"...Unimportant, I'm just better than him." I replied. I'm obviously superior to Killua.

"...Whatever you want to believe i guess." Hey! How rude.

Whenever Chrollo returned from whatever he was doing-

"...I'm going to assume that the new child is joining as well?" Chrollo asked.

"Unfortunately." Kalluto replied. You chose to join. We only gave you a little bit of motivation.

"I'm not even in control anymore, am I?" Chrollo sighed. You lost control the moment I entered that chat.

"Oo, talking about being in control, would you like to help us take over the world?" Gon asked. Oh yeah, world domination. I definitely wasn't procrastinating. (Author also likes to procrastinate- I spent 5+ hours baking instead of writing one day-)

"Yeah! Let us cause chaos!" Uvogin shouted.

"God no. I can't handle anymore bullshit." Machi mumbled. Cmon we're not that bad.

Flashbacks to literally everything they've put Machi through

...

Maybe we are that bad. It's not my fault that my life is so boring. Everyone bombs a country when they get bored, right? Causing pure chaos is normal.

"Any troupe members that want to help can, as long as it doesn't get in the way of missions." Chrollo answered. Yes! More chaos! Burn the children, save the hot Cheetos!

And that's how we got Uvogin, Nobunaga, Gay, Shalnark, and Shizuku to help us take over Yorknew. Hisoka was also there, but he just annoyed everyone.

Thanks for your help Hisoka.

"..."

"..."

"So you want to play a game that's basically the ultimate VR, so you can try to find your dad who left to get the milk?"I questioned

"Exactly!" Gon replied. Gon.. Gon no. Just no. We don't want to see your dad, even if you do want to try cereal worth milk and not water, just no.

"Plus I want to speedrun the game." Killua added.

"I'm going just because it sounds chaotic." I responded. We don't give a fuck about Gon's dad.

...

Kinda like how Gon's dad doesn't give a fuck about Gon.

I'm sorry, I had to!

"I'll go to make sure you don't destroy everything you see." Kalluto sighed. In reality you just want to spend time with us. ..And you don't want to have us destroy everything we see.

"We're not that bad, we only destroy half the things we see!" Gon replied.

"Yeah. We're very responsible children." Killua added.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Why-"

"No."

I love how Kalluto is the most responsible. Ah yes, the youngest is the only one who isn't attempting, and succeeding, to take over the world.

"Hey Gon, I want a rematch in Uno." Killua said. Have you learned nothing? This demon will destroy your ego. Have you seen what he did to Hisoka?

...

"Killua, you can't throw people out of a window just because you're mad."

"He made me draw 16 cards!"

"Never mind, toss him out the window again for me."

And that's the story why Gon got defenestrated, multiple times! He needs to learn that he can't crush everyone's hopes and dreams like that.

Word count: 1566

Fun Facts:

•P h r o g<3
We love P h r o g<3
P h r o g<3 is not the least favorite
P h r o g<3 is an amazing child
P h r o g<3 is a god
P h r o g<3 🛐🛐🛐

•Reasons why I think earth is actually hell
1-Every lactose intolerant person I've met is addicted to milk
2-Do you know how fucking hot it is?
3-US government.
4-School aka Let's force you to learn things you'll never use and then punish you if you fail :D
5-US government.
6-Why do tall people exist. Why am I short.
7-Why isn't anime real.

• Leorio if he became a 911 phone operator instead of a doctor:
Caller: Help, m-my husband has just been shot in our living room... Oh dear god... I think he might be dead!
Leorio: We'll I guess you can't call it a 'living room' anymore, now can you?
Caller:
Leorio:
Leorio: Hello?
(I saw someone do this with Dabi and just immediately thought of Leorio-)