Kalluto becomes even more traumatized if y'all don't eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today

(Me who hasn't slept in 38 hours trying to make it to 48: 🧍🏼🧍🏼)

After hanging out (having her buy me stuff) with Machi, my dearest mother, I went back to the arena because I'm 50% sure that the simps are murdering my children.

*Insert enderman teleporting sound* "Hullo"

"Y/n help!" Gon shouted, hiding behind me with Kalluto and Killua.

"What fucking training were you all doing?" I questioned, protecting the children from Illumi.

"It wasn't that bad." Illumi stated.

"You ware trying to murder us!" Gon shouted.

"This training is worse then my childhood training was!" Killua added.

"I wish I didn't know Nen. I wish I didn't know Nen. I wish.." Kalluto muttered.

"It was that bad~" Hisoka added.

"What fucking training were you putting them through?" I questioned, ignoring Hisoka.

"To be fair they did say that they wanted to 'speedrun Nen'." Illumi replied.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Yeah you all kinda deserved that." I said, moving away from the children.

"No Y/n don't leave usssssss." Gon begged.

"Fair." Killua shrugged.

"I wish I didn't know Nen. I wish I didn't know Nen. I wish..."

"Look at him, he's traumatized!" Gon stated, pointing at favorite ch- Kalluto.

"Terrifying." Feitan mumbled.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Never mind, Feitan you are now in chat if training the children."

"Thank you." The three of them said, almost in tears. What the fuck did you do Illumi...

"Anyways y'all wanna play Minecraft?" I asked.

"Huh? Sure I guess." Killua replied.

"I will!" Gon added.

"How bout you Kalluto?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Alright, Shal will be playing with us." I informed.

"Who is that?" Killua questioned.

"My and Y/n's friend." Gon replied.

After we got on the game we joined a call. Because how else are we supposed to talk to Shal?

Shalnark, Killua, Kalluto, Gon

Y/n
Everyone alive?

Shalnark
Sadly

Killua
Sadly

Gon
Mhm

Kalluto
For now

Y/n
Mood

Killua
I'm gonna collect wood

Gon
I'll get food

Kalluto
I'll mine I guess

Shalnark
Ooo flowers

Y/n
I'll help get food then

About 30 minutes later

Gon
Why does it need so much detail?

Killua
I'm not going to live in a fucking wooden square it needs to look good!

Shalnark
I have three stacks of lily of the valley
flowers!

Y/n
Wheeeeattttttt Wheeeeaaaattttt Wheeeeaaaaatttt

Kalluto
*Has been mining the whole time, has
started a carrot farm underground and
has no plans of seeing the sun again*

Killua
Gon no, we need a Spruce stair there!

Gon
Why does it matter if it's an Oak stair?

Killua
Because Oak is shit! Spruce supremacy!

Y/n
Killua you should make a mushroom
house after this

Killua
Oo! Finally someone has a good fucking
idea!

Gon
I'm just going mining

Killua
K, I'll need four stacks of iron for lanterns

Gon
Yay I'll be helpful!

Shalnark
F l o w e r s

Y/n
I found the dark oak biome!

Killua
Get me at least 16 saplings

Y/n
I will ooo I found a mansion thing!

Killua
Mark down the coordinates we can't lose
the biome if you die!

Y/n
The amount of faith you have. But I already
did

Shalnark
Ooo rose

An hour later

Y/n
How am I the only one with netherite?

Killua
I built your house gimme some!

Gon
I was getting iron!

Shalnark
Flowerssssssssss

Kalluto
*Still underground, has automatic farms,
17 sets of god loot, and way to much cobblestone, also hasn't talked since the beginning*

Y/n
Gon, you manage the sheep farm so we can
make more beds

Gon
Okay!

Y/n
Killua you build more farms

Killua
Alright. Let's see, that spot would look better with a potato farm, and over there could use a sugar cane farm, and there...

Y/n
Shalnark your in charge of mining

Shalnark
But I just found a flower field!

Y/n
Shalnark no

Shalnark
But we could use the flowers!

Y/n
Shalnark no

Shalnark
Shalnark yes

Y/n
Shalnark no

Shalnark
Shalnark yes

Y/n
Shalnark no

Shalnark
Shalnark yes

Y/n
Shalnark no

Shalnark
Shalnark yes

Y/n
Shalnark no

Shalnark
Shalnark yes

Y/n
Shalnark no

Shalnark
Shalnark yes

Y/n
Shalnark yes

Shalnark
Shalnark no

Y/n
Perfect now go mine

Shalnark
But flowers!

Y/n
We have 67 stacks of flowers

Shalnark
...fine

Y/n
And I'll go netherite mining... again..

Awhile later

Y/n
Okay we all have netherite now

Shalnark
I'll get more flowers!

Y/n
I- Fine

Gon
Why do we need so many houses?

Killua
They're for decoration

Gon
What?

Killua
Well I can build a castle without there
being a kingdom to rule over

Gon
I'm not getting more iron

Killua
But my lanternssss!!

Y/n
I have to farm ask Shalnark to mine

Shalnark
Ooo I don't have that many tulips!

Y/n
Nevermind...

Gon
I'm gonna explore!

Killua
Why explore if we have everything we
need here???

Gon
Exploring is fun!

Killua
Fine I'll go mining then

Y/n
Mine for your own iron? How tragic

Killua
I'm taking back your house

Y/n
I'll take back your amour

Killua
Whatever

Killua
...

Killua
Y'all I found someone's mine

Y/n
Nobody mined in that area?

Killua
Wait- Kalluto!

Y/n
Oh- dude i wanna check out his mine

Gon
That sounds fun!

Shalnark
I will to I guess

Y/n
And stop collecting your beloved flowers?

Shalnark
They're necessary!

10 minutes later

Y/n
How fucking big is this mine?

Killua
Well he was mining for hours

Gon
I see his name tag!

Y/n
Finally!

Y/n
I found him!

Kalluto
*Confused screaming* what is that!?

Y/n
Kalluto??

Kalluto
Why does it talk!?

Gon
Kalluto-

Kalluto
There's more of them!??!??

Killua
When was the last time you saw the sun?

Kalluto
What the fuck is that!?!???

Shalnark
Have a flower?

Kalluto
Oo Can I eat it?

Y/n
No?

Kalluto
It is not necessary to my culture I must
mine

Killua
Kalluto this isn't healthy-

Kalluto
What is 'Kalluto'?

Gon
...

Y/n
...

Killua
...

Shalnark
...

Y/n
...Ima just go back up

Killua
Same

Gon
We do need food...

Shalnark
I have flowers to find...

A couple hours later

Gon
Hey do you want to play Fall guys?

Y/n
Sure

Killua
I guess

Shalnark
Yeah sure

Kalluto
I have to mine

Y/n
Yeah we're all going to play Fall guys

Killua
This isn't healthy Kalluto-

Kalluto
M i n e

Gon
Time to go to Fall guys!

Kalluto
Nooooooooooooo

After they forced Kalluto to get on Fall guys

Y/n
Alright y'all join me

Killua
K

Y/n
Dry

Killua
Shut up bitch

Y/n
Y'know what, Illumi can train you

Killua
I meant uhhhh

Y/n
Actually I'm not that evil

Shalnark
Ready up

Y/n
Oh yeah

Killua
I'm going to beat y'all

Gon
Okay!

Y/n
Bitch I'll win

Shalnark
I probably won't win

Not even 1 minute later

Killua
They pushed me!!

Shalnark
I hate seesaws...

Kalluto
Oof

Y/n
I placed fifth so

Killua
They kept on pushing me!!

Gon
You'll do better next game!

Killua
...Whatever

A bit later

Y/n
Hex-A-Gone!

Gon
Hex-A-Gone!

Kalluto
Hex-A-Gone!

Y/n
Hex-A-Gone!

Gon
Hex-A-Gone!

Kalluto
Hex-A-Gone!

Y/n
Hex-A-Gone!

Gon
Hex-A-Gone!

Kalluto
Hex-A-Gone!

Y/n
Yess!!

Gon
Yo!!

Kalluto
Hex-A-Gone upremacy

Y/n
Hex-A-Gone is the best thing ever created

Gon
Agreed

Killua
Hex-A-Gone isn't even that good..

Y/n
Bitch!

Gon
Listen here you little shit

Killua
...

Killua
Haha I'm in danger

Gon
Hex-A-Gone is the best game to ever exist
to mankind anyone who disagrees will be
killed

Y/n
Hex-A-Gone is part of our culture anyone
who denies the Hex-A-Gone culture must
be killed

Gon
Yes we must kill of the weak

Y/n
Kill the weak!

Gon
Kill the weak!

Kalluto
Kill the weak!

Killua
I'm just gonna-

Killua has left the call

Shalnark
Amazing idea-

Shalnark has left the call

Kalluto
I'll go mine then

Kalluto has left the call

Y/n
Just the two of us

Gon
I have to go kill Killua though

Y/n
That song is a fucking jinx!

Y/n
Wait I'm sorry my lord I shall not use
your name in vain

Gon
...

Gon has left the call

Y/n
Ouch not even a goodbye?

Y/n has left the cal

...

...

...

...

...

Jinx has entered the call

Jinx
Remember to drink water, eat food, and
sleep 5+ hours today or I will steal the
children in your basement and return them
to their parents

Jinx
And most importantly remember to commit crimes, specifically arson

Word count: 1580

Fun Facts:

• Okay so Killua makes the best fucking houses- like he has a huge fucking mushroom castle- his builds are above professional level Gon however will build a literal Oak square and call it a day-

Why is this the perfect ship dynamic

Good builder x S q u a r e

• Kalluto was so focused on Minecraft that he forgot about other humans existing- plus he's used to being quiet

• If y'all say that Hex-A-Gone isn't the best Fall guys game you're wrong W R O N G