"Excuse me, I noticed you were talking to Hisoka, if I may ask, what is your relationship with him?" Someone asked. Why the fuck is a banana talking to me?

"Why do you want to know?" I questioned. If I have to deal with two pedophiles I'm going to lose it.

"Apologies, my name is Kastro, I'm fighting Hisoka in about a month." The banana explained.

"So you're suicidal? What does that have to do with me?" Why would I care that you're going to die in a month? The banana lightly chuckled before talking again.

"You seem to know a bit about Hisoka's abilities, though I guarantee that I can beat him." Banana replied. Ah, suicidal and an idiot.

"That's amazing, I still want to know what this has to do with me." Stupid banana.

"I can't believe Hisoka hasn't killed you.." The banana muttered. Excuse me bitch? "Anyways! Seeing how you know him, I was wondering if you could tell me anything about his abilities?" The banana asked.

"One second." I sighed, time to text Hisoka.

———————————————————————
———————————————————————

Hisoka

Y/n is now online

Y/n
Hiso-whore I need helppppppppppp

Hisoka is now online

Hisoka
Hiso-whore?~

Y/n
A banana is asking me about your
abilities

Hisoka
Banana?~

Hisoka
What's their name?~

Y/n
Idk- started with a K

Hisoka
Kastro?~

Y/n
Yea- he your side chick or smthn??

Hisoka
...~

Y/n
Anywhore banana says y'all gonna
fight-

Y/n
So he asking me to tell him about your
abilities because he thinks that'll help or smthn-

Hisoka
Alright~

Y/n
So- tell me about your abilities 😃

Hisoka
What do I get out of this?~

Y/n
-_- idk

Y/n
I'm just tryna help a banana over here

Hisoka
💧-_-⭐️

Y/n
You gonna tell me or nah-

Hisoka
Tell Kastro to ask me himself~

Hisoka is now offline

Y/n
Coulda just said that from the start-

Y/n has changed Hisoka's name Hiso-whore
Y/n is now offline

———————————————————————
———————————————————————

"He said ask him yourself." I stated, putting my phone away. Though you already know that because you were reading the texts as well..

"Did.. did you call Hisoka a whore?" Banana asked. You literally read the text.

"Yes? Why do you care?" Dumb, suicidal, possibly pedo, banana.

"How the hell are you still alive?" Banana-nana boy questioned. Haha, I have no idea.

"I literally don't know." I replied. "So you gonna go bother Whoresoka or no?"

"I- Yeah.. I'll go do that..." Banana-nana boy said, walking backwards away from me. Do you think I'm some lunatic or something?

Don't you hate it when you're just trying to be as annoying as possible and then a talking banana starts bothering you?

Anyways, time to annoy a chocolate addicted Little-shit. I headed to the 100th floor, which happened to be where Killua and Gon were fighting right now.

"Hey Y/n!" Gon greeted after finishing his match. Killua was walking behind Gon, obviously annoyed to see me.

"You bought all the choco-robots didn't you." Killua accused. Me? Buy all the choco-robots? Of course not! Hisoka bought them!

"Nope." I replied. Killua scoffed, obviously not convinced. I'm technically not lying...

"Hey Gon, how have you been?" I asked. How's life like when you don't look like a piece of grass?

"I've been good! It's really easy to defeat everyone on these floors!" Gon said, practically shouting, earning glares from the other competitors.

"Hey Killua, I'll give you choco-robots if you do something-"

"What?" Killua cut me off. Rude.

"Y'know during the hunter exam, how I made Hisoka forfeit..." I trailed off.

"Oh the 'facts' thing, right?" Killua replied.

"Exactly! I'll explain the 'facts' to you, and you have to try to make people forfeit using them, deal?"

"Deal."

I explained what 'facts' were to Killua, and seeing how we're both fucked up in the head he could come up with his own. After that I went to my seat to watch the chaos unfold.

"Get ready for... Killua Zoldyck VS Genki Itou! Killua Zoldyck, a child prodigy, defeating almost all of his opponents in a single hit! Genki Itou being a regular nobody-" Obviously no favoritism there.

"Sorry about my friend here, she meant Genki Itou, another prodigy, never being hit by his opponents! A perfect matchup! Who will win? Make your bets now!" A male announcer cut off. That other announcer probably gonna die.

"And... Begin!" The referee shouted. The other fighter seems to be purely speed based, so Killua shouldn't have any trouble. The fighter repeatedly lunged at Killua, whom dodged all of the attacks.

"You ever wonder how many times you've drank the same water?" Killua asked. Here's where the chaos starts...

"What?" His opponent questioned.

"Imagine how much scarier the ocean would be if we could fall through it like we fall through air."

"Sleeping is a real life skip button."

"You will never know what memories you lost."

"Claustrophobic people are perfectly fine with their brains being trapped inside a skull."

"Your body can always feel your clothes but chooses not to."

"Everyone is born with a hundred percent chance of dying."

"Spilling hot coffee on yourself wakes you up faster than drinking it."

"Does poison get more poisonous after it expires?"

"Being ugly is just playing life on hard mode."

"Someone went to bed for the very last time today and they had no idea."

"You have probably seen strangers on the last day of their lives."

"Every heartbeat is just a tick to your inevitable death."

"Every book is just a remix of the dictionary."

"Gambling is only considered an addiction if you're bad at it."

"Trees are solar powered."

"Baby butterflies don't exist."

"Technically I've never lost a fight with a tiger."

"It's impossible to save a life, you can only delay a death."

"You could've walked past a guy in a car who thought about kidnapping you but decided not to."

"You might've done something today that changed your entire future."

"Cows probably have no idea that penguins exist."

"Pets probably have witnessed unsolved murder cases."

"Searching for a laptop online is basically forcing your computer to dig its own grave."

"They day time heals everything, yet it slowly kills you."

"Knocking on someone's door is just beating their house until they pay attention to you."

"There is no fall damage, only landing damage."

"If you're self employed and you talk to yourself at work it's just a staff meeting."

"A book about saving forests would be hypocritical."

"The chances of you dying at any moment are slim, but never zero."

"I forfeit! I give up!" That was fucking hilarious!

"There you have it, Killua wins his match without even touching his opponent! That's a first!"

Me, Killua, and Gon met up near the elevator after Gon's fight.

"That was so cool! You didn't even touch them! It did make my head hurt though..." Gon praised, muttering the last part.

"My choco-robots." Killua demanded upon seeing me. I handed him a bag filled with chocolate robots. I swear Killua's mood completely switches when he has chocolate.

"I have another bag of those by the way." I mentioned.

"I have more facts by the way." Killua replied.

"Deal."

"Deal."

Yay! More chaos! Glitter-cracker would be proud.

"Uhh.. what just happened?" Gon questioned, which we promptly ignored. I headed toward the arena Killua would be fighting in, I need a good seat after all.

"Killua Zoldyck VS _______"

"Begin!"

"Chicken is only a breakfast food when it hasn't been born yet."

"One day there will be a final season of the news."

"When you catch a leaf falling from a tree you are holding something that has never touched the ground."

"There's a chance that at least one of your teachers has gone home and complained about you."

"If you hired a hit man on yourself, but also hired a bodyguard on yourself your life depends on who's better at their job."

"You just broke your record for most consecutive days lived."

"Giving a murderer the death sentence is the biggest uno reverse card."

"If everyone on earth blinked simultaneously nobody would ever know."

"Someone out there holds the highest Rock Paper Scissors win-lose ratio, and they have no idea."

"Being healthy is just the slowest possible way of dying."

"Dying of old age is like dying of not dying."

"One day, when everyone has forgotten about it, the game will end." ;)

"'Do not touch' would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille."

"Two people could never go to each other's funerals."

"Your tongue never sits comfortably in your mouth."

"Every broken clock is telling you when it passed away."

"Singing is yelling in cursive."

"Birthdays are basically celebrations to let you know you're closer to your last day alive."

"A murderer has probably laughed at the news for inaccuracies."

"No one would ever know if a tree chirped like a bird."

"I quit! I forfeit!" Works every time.

Word count: 1673

Fun Facts:

• Since people seemed to like the facts so much- Also, I do not come up with the facts, I get them from Marvin4eva33 on TikTok

• Ngl, sometimes I check out the accounts of people who comment and shit, and I'll see someone with a book with 1k+ views and go
"Wow! A famous person in my comment section!"
And then I realize I have a shit load of reads and go
"Never mind! They're all losers!"
I think the ego is getting to me...

• I've been kind of forcing myself to write this the past couple of days, don't get me wrong I love writing this, but I have so many other hobbies I want to do and just don't have the time to while writing a 1500+ word chapter everyday. So updates will be slowing down (I will still be updating of course, just not everyday) There may be times when I go days without updating so I'm sorry :(