(a large amount of this chapter was inspired by "SHOW ME YOUR SHOULDERS BABYGORL k. Zoldyck" so go read that if you haven't already)

Cool kid is now online

Cool kid
God has let me live another day and
I'm about to make it everyone's
problem

Pakunoda is now online

Pakunoda
It's literally 2 am go to bed

Cool kid
I am in bed tho-

Pakunoda
Go to sleep

Cool kid
Your not my mother 😐

Pakunoda
Now.

Cool kid
😓Yes ma'am.

Cool kid is now offline
Pakunoda is now offline

(SpongeBob narrator voice)
5 hours later (7:23 am)

Shalnark is now online

Shalnark
Good Morning everyone

3 others are now online

Hot
It's to early to be upp

feitan
need sleep

Cool kid has changed feitans name to Feitan

Cool kid
Morning

Pakunoda is now online

Pakunoda
You seriously need a healthy
sleep schedule 😐

Pakunoda
How long did you even sleep
for?

Cool kid
I didn't 😐

Shalnark
L

Pakunoda
😐

Hisoka is now online
Feitan is now offline

Cool kid
Lmfao every time 😂

Hisoka
⭐️-_-💧

Hot
Goodnight

Hot is now offline

Cool kid
It's 7 tho-

Shalnark
Not a morning person Ig

Cool kid
I'm boredddd

Pakunoda
You should sleep

Cool kid
No ❤️

Pakunoda
Whatever I'm going back to
sleep

Pakunoda is now offline

Shalnark
Immm boreddddd

Hisoka
We could play a game~

Shalnark
No.

Cool kid
Ooo what game

Shalnark
No.

Hisoka
It would be fun~

Shalnark has muted Hisoka for one hour

Shalnark
No.

Cool kid
L

Chrollo is now online

Chrollo
No fighting

Shalnark
☹️ it's his fault tho

Chrollo
Flip a coin next time

Chrollo is now offline

Shalnark
I'm boredddd

Cool kid
Same

Hot is now online

Hot
Stop blowing up my phone

Cool kid
Just turn of notifications then🧐

Hot
...

Hot is now offline

Cool kid
L

Shalnark
What should we do tho?

Cool kid
Idk 🤷‍♀️

Pakunoda is now online

Pakunoda
Sleep.

Cool kid
Sounds boring. Next

Pakunoda
😑

Pakunoda is now offline

Shalnark
Text random numbers?

Cool kid
Oooo yes

Cool kid
What should we text tho?

Shalnark
Lyric pranks

Cool kid
Kk

Shalnark
What song?

Cool kid
Uhhhh I'll make a man out of
you?

Shalnark
Kk

New chat

Shalnark
Let's get down to business

Unknown number
Who are you?

Cool kid
To defeat the Huns

Unknown number
I think you have the wrong number

Shalnark
Did they send me daughters

Cool kid
When I asked for sons?

You may no longer message this number

Phantom troupe groupchat

Shalnark
L

Cool kid
Let's do this until someone sings
too-

Shalnark
Kk

New chat

Shalnark
Let's get down to business

Unknown number
Wrong number 😐

Cool kid
To defeat the Huns

You may no longer message this number

Phantom troupe groupchat

Shalnark
Next number?

Cool kid
***-***-****

Shalnark
Kk

New chat

Shalnark
Let's get down to business

Unknown number
Do I know you?

Cool kid
To defeat the Huns

Shalnark
Did they send me daughters

Cool kid
When I asked for sons?

Unknown number
I'm a very busy man I don't
have time for this

Shalnark
You're the saddest bunch I've
ever met

You may no longer message this number

Phantom troupe groupchat

Cool kid
We got farther that time!

Shalnark
"I'm A vErY bUsY mAn"

Cool kid
Lol "I dOn'T hAvE tImE fOr ThIs"

Shalnark
Lol next number?

Cool kid
***-***-****

New chat

Shalnark
Let's get down to business

Cool kid
To defeat the Huns

Unknown number
Is this a lyric prank 😑

Shalnark
Did they send me daughters

Cool kid
When I asked for sons?

Unknown number
Whatever

You may no longer message this number

Phantom troupe groupchat

Cool kid
***-***-****

New chat

Shalnark
Let's get down to business

Cool kid
To defeat the Huns

You may no longer message this number

(SpongeBob narrator voice)
1 hour later

Phantom troupe groupchat

Shalnark
This is getting boring

Cool kid
Yeah not a single person sang
along 😕

Shalnark
We need to get someone to
sing tho-

Cool kid
Yea not giving up

Shalnark
🎶Never gonna give you up🎶

Cool kid
😐

(SpongeBob narrator voice)
One eternity later

New chat

Shalnark
Let's get down to business

Cool kid
To defeat the Huns

Unknown number
Huh?

Shalnark
Did they send me daughters

Cool kid
When I asked for sons?

Unknown number
???

Shalnark
You're the saddest bunch I've
ever met

Cool kid
but you can bet before we're
through

Shalnark
Mister I'll make a man out of you

Cool kid
Tranquil as a forest

Shalnark
But on fire within

Cool kid
Once you find your center

Unknown number
What's going on???

Shalnark
You are sure to win

Cool kid
You're a spineless pale pathetic
lot

Shalnark
And you haven't got a clue

Cool kid
Somehow I'll make a man out
of you

Unknown number
I'm confused 😅

Shalnark
I'm never gonna catch my
breath

Cool kid
Say goodbye to those who knew
me

Unknown number
Huh? Are you ok?

Shalnark
Why was I a fool in school for
cutting gym?

Cool kid
This guys got them scared to
death!

Unknown number
Huh what guy?

Shalnark
Hope he doesn't see right through
me

Cool kid
Now I really wish I knew how
to swim!

Unknown number
I can teach you! 😁

Shalnark
We must be as swift as the coursing
river

Cool kid
(Be a man)

Shalnark
With all the force of a great
typhoon

Cool kid
(Be a man)

Unknown number
Hey this is that one song!!

Shalnark
With all the strength of a raging
fire

Cool kid
Mysterious as the dark side of
the moon

Unknown number
Time is racing towards us

Shalnark
'Til the Huns arrive (yoooo)

Cool kid
(Finally!!) heed my every order

Unknown number
And you might survive (😁)

Shalnark
You're unsuited for the rage

Cool kid
So pack up, go home, you're through

Unknown number
How could I make a man out
of you?

Shalnark
We must be as swift as the coursing
river

Cool kid
(Be a man)

Unknown number
With all the force of a great
typhooon

Shalnark
(Be a man)

Cool kid
With all the strength of a raging
fire

Unknown number
As mysterious as the dark side
of the moon

Shalnark
Yooooo

Cool kid
It took hours but we did it 😗

Unknown number
This was fun! 😄

Shalnark
You seem cool wanna continue
texting?

Unknown number
Yeah! I'm Gon what's your names?

(Ignore the fact he doesn't have a phone for plot reasons)

1 name has been changed

Cool kid
F/n

1 name has been changed

Shalnark
Shalnark

1 name has been changed

Gon<3
Yay new friends! 😁

F/N<3
I just met you but I would kill
for you 🥺

Shalnark<3
Agreed 🥺

Gon<3
I don't want anyone to die!

F/N<3
Sorry gon nobody will 🥺

Shalnark<3
Sorry 🥺

Gon<3
It's fine 😁

F/N<3
So cute 🥰

Gon<3
Huh?

F/N<3
Nothing. What do you wanna
do?

Gon<3
Oh I have to go aunt mito's
calling me!

Shalnark<3
Bye!

F/N<3
Bye Gon!

Gon<3
Bye!! 😁

Gon<3 is now offline
2 others are now offline

Phantom troupe groupchat

2 others are now online

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Shalnark
Wth

Cool kid
We leave for 3 hours-

Machi
Someone make them stopppp

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Nobunaga
CATS

Cool kid
Stop or I will change your
name back😐

Gay
DOGS

Gay
DOGS

Gay
DOGS

Gay
DOGS

Gay
DOGS

Gay
DOGS

Gay
DOGS

Gay
DOGS

Cool kid
I'll change your name to something
worse

Pakunoda
Finallyyyyy

Shalnark
A. What's going on B. F/N acts
like a mom

Machi
They do though

Pakunoda
Hisoka started it

Hisoka
Hm~ I didn't know that
would happen~

Machi
You literally did but F/N
does act like a mom

Cool kid
A. I don't B. I don't C. I don't

Cool kid
Oh and D. Cats are better

Gay
No way dogs are way better!!

Cool kid
No cats are better in every
way 😒

Gay
Dogs are better😒

Nobunaga
No cats are 😒

Cool kid
Cats are 100 percent better

Gay
Cats suck

Cool kid
😧

Nobunaga
😧

Cool kid
Absolutely wrong

Nobunaga
You're just an idiot 🤷‍♀️

Machi
And now they're joining in 😑

Pakunoda
Not again

Cool kid
CATS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Cool kid
CATS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Cool kid
CATS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Cool kid
CATS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Cool kid
CATS

Nobunaga
CATS

Gay
DOGS

Chrollo is now online
Chrollo has muted 3 people
Chrollo is now offline

Shalnark
L

Machi
Deserved

7 people are now offline