(Kinda inspired by GTA because I'm to lazy to come up with my own ideas 💅-

Also- updates should be returning to normal within the next week or so :3)

"Alright so (drivers name) here is going to set up the sleeping gas. Then after everyone is knocked out we enter with gas masks, and you guys will be hostages just in case." The robber explained. ...That's actually not a bad plan.

"I'll be in the getaway car directly behind the building." The driver added. So we don't have to walk far? Best news I've ever heard.

"He will also be telling us what we supposed to do via coms." The robber said.

"Yes, all you both have to do is play the role of hostages, understand?" Me and Killua nodded our heads in response, this'll be fun.

Our kidnappers got ready, me and Killua didn't have to do anything seeing how we're just  supposed to be hostages. Once they got ready we headed to the jewelry store, the driver parked in the back and we walked to the front.

(Italics will be the driver over comms)

"Tell me when you're in position."

"We're ready, you can start the gas." The robber replied. We waited about five minutes, then entered the building. "Everyone is knocked out." The robber informed.

"Alright, you'll have to disable the alarm, do you see a keypad on your right?"

"Yeah."

"Open up the keypad and cut the green wire."

"Alright, it should be disabled now, right?"

"Yeah, you should be good." All of us started putting the jewelry into bags, seeing an empty jewelry store is hella weird. We exited out the back door, where the car was waiting.

We tossed the jewelry into the back, then we all got in. "This was the easiest robbery ever!" The robber said.

"Don't jinx us." Talking about Jinx, I miss him.

"The alarms didn't go off or anything, there's no way we're going to get caught." The robber replied. Well now we're definitely going to get caught.

"Whenever anyone wakes up they'll call the police, we might still get caught." The driver informed.

"That's got like a one in a billion chance of happening!" You're jinxing it, which is fine because that means I'll have more fun.

"Whatever." The driver muttered, rolling his eyes. The rest of the car ride was silent, well until a fucking police car started chasing us.

"Why're they after us!?" The robber yelled. Hmmm, probably because we just robbed a store?

"Someone probably noted down the license plate before we left!" The driver shouted back, rounding a corner. Car chase! Car chase!

The drive evaded the police, which kept on getting harder as more police started chasing us.

"They've blocked off the road!" The robber shouted, amazing observation. The driver quickly turned into an alleyway, which was also blocked off by a cop car.

Killua rolled down his window, using a yo-yo to literally yeet the cop car out of the way. The driver and robber gave questioning glances, but they immediately put there focus back on the road.

Me and Killua took turns murdering the police, earning concerned looks from our kidnappers. "Are you sure that these are children?" The driver whispered.

"I'm not sure... I think they're aliens." The robber whispered back. I decided to check the news, to see if the car chase was on.

Breaking News

"A car chase is currently going on in the Dentora region of the Republic of Padokea. Thirty-eight cops have been killed, and twenty injured. The criminals are holding two children hostage..."

I shut off my phone and went back to murdering the police. The fact they still think we're hostages is hilarious.

Me and Killua started to get bored, so we jumped out of the car. The criminals are probably going to get caught now, oh well.

Now how to communicate without talking in a way the readers still can understand... Oo! Morse code! Killua should know it!

(Morse code will be underlined because I'm lazy af-)

"What do you want to do now?" I asked.

"We should get candy." Killua replied after a bit.

"Alright you chocolate addict." I said, well tapped? I did something. I started following Killua, whom obviously knew where all the candy shops were.

The moment we got into the store the cashier grabbed a shitload of chocolate robots, handed them to Killua, and kicked us out.

"The fuck was that?"

"I come here a lot." That doesn't explain shit! "Anyways, wanna go raid some stores?" Killua asked. Y e s.

"Definitely." I replied. Me and Killua did just that, raided a shitload of stores. Killua mainly raided candy stores, while I raided different stores.

By the time we were done it was around dinner time, so me and Killua went back.

"Ah, you're back!" Kikyo shouted, obviously she's been waiting for us. "Have you both ate dinner yet? You need to tell me everything!" Both of us shook our heads, causing Kikyo to drag me to the table, Killua walking behind us.

Illumi entered the dining room shortly after us, giving me a small wave before sitting besides me.

"So what did you both do?" Kikyo asked, me and Killua just stared at each other, hoping the other would speak.

"Killua challenged you to the quiet game didn't he?" Illumi asked. I nodded, causing Illumi to sigh before going back to eating.

Killua decided to eat chocolate robots instead of dinner, which gave me an idea...

I are my food, silently waiting for the right moment. Everyone else ate in silence, which was awkward as fuck. Three.... two.... one! I grabbed Killua's last chocolate robot from his hands

"Hey!" Killua shouted, immediately covering his mouth with his hand. Yes! I win. I opened the chocolate robot, eating right in front of Killua, causing him to chase me.

Half of the family just looked at me in disappointment, Kalluto and their grandfather laughed a bit, Kikyo just took it as us getting along. Don't ask me how she came to that conclusion.

I ran all around the house, attempting to not die by the hands of Killua. After awhile Illumi stepped in, stopping Killua from murdering me.

Killua didn't look comfortable around Illumi, so I suggested Killua go try on some of his new clothes, attempting to give him an escape, which he gladly took.

"I want to see Jinx!" I whined, I definitely didn't forget where Illumi's room is... Illumi sighed, leading me to his room. Jinx, Jinx, Jinx, Jinx, Jinx, Jinx!

Illumi entered the room and I followed him, causing Jinx to immediately come to me. Jinx! I missed you! I picked up Jinx, sitting on the bed next to Illumi, allowing Jinx to go to him.

"Y'know i didn't think you'd be one to have a cat." I mentioned, laying down on the bed.

"Why?" Illumi asked.

"I don't know, you just don't seem like the type of person to have time for pets."

"Oh."

We continued laying there and petting Jinx. I must've ended up falling asleep at some point, because when I woke up I was lying next to Illumi and Jinx.

"Good morning." Illumi said.

"Morning." I mumbled, attempting to go back to sleep...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Fuck! I immediately got up, grabbing my phone. I forgot to text the groupchat! I'm literally going to die!

Illumi gave me a questioning glance, but almost immediately figured out what I was doing. He scooted closer to me, probably wanting to see the conversation.

I turned on my phone and opened up the groupchat. Time to die.

———————————————————————
———————————————————————

Hot people

Cool kid is now online

Cool kid
I can explain-

8 people are now online

Mother
You said you would text yesterday

Mom
Where were you?

Dad
Explain

Cool kid
Okay- so I got kidnapped-

Mom
You what!?

Mother
Are you ok!?

Dad
Where are you?

Hisoka
By who?~

Shalnark
Are you okay!?

Cool kid
Yeah

Cool kid
they were weak I was just busy all
day

Mother
Don't scare us like that

Mom
Are you okay though?

Shalnark
Are they dead???

Cool kid
I'm fine

Cool kid
And idk- they're probably in jail

Mother
How do you not know?

Cool kid
Me and Killua just kinda abandoned
them-

Dad
Who's Killua

Hisoka
Is Gon there?~

Cool kid
Killua is a Zoldyck he's also 12 so
don't freak out

Cool kid
And no

Mother
You still shouldn't be around the
Zoldycks

Cool kid
Why?

Mom
They're dangerous

Dad
You're not safe

Shalnark
They're murderers

Feitan
unsafe

Mother
They're crazy

Hisoka
Do what you want~

Dad
Not helpful Hisoka

Cool kid
Y'all really hate the Zoldycks-

Shalnark
Zol-dick*

Shalnark
Get it right 🙄💅

Cool kid is now offline

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———————————————————————

Irl

"Hey! What was that for?" I questioned, after Illumi took my phone.

"I don't like them." Illumi stated before, reluctantly, handing me my phone back.

"Then go somewhere else." I replied, entering the chat again. Illumi didn't reply, deciding to just looked over my shoulder again.

———————————————————————
———————————————————————

Hot people

Cool kid is now online

Shalnark
Where'd you go?

Mom
Where were you?

Mother
What happened?

Cool kid
Sorry

Cool kid
Someone stole my phone-

Dad
Who?

Cool kid
Illumi

Shalnark
Another reason to not hangout with
Zoldycks

Hisoka
What are you doing darling~

Mother
Stop

Mom
No

Dad
It'd be very much preferred if you
stopped

Cool kid
Texting y'all and petting Jinx

Shalnark
Who's Jinx?

Mother
An animal I'm guessing

Hisoka
Isn't that Illumi's cat?~

Cool kid
Yeah-

Hisoka
So you're in Illumi's room?~

Mother
You're what!?

Dad
How old is he?

Cool kid
Yeah- I'm sitting on his bed with him
actually-

Dad
No.

Mother
What.

Shalnark
No.

Mom
Then get up and leave

Cool kid
I'm literally just sitting here 😐

Shalnark
What if you fall asleep though?

Mother
Exactly ^

Cool kid
Been there done that

Dad
What?

Hisoka
You what~

Cool kid
Fell asleep on Illumi's bed? Like three
times-

Cool kid
With Illumi ;)

Dad
What.

Shalnark
What.

Mom
What.

Mother
What.

Hisoka
What.~

Feitan
No.

Shizuku
What?

Gay
Idc-

Shizuku
No seriously I forgot what
happened-

Dad
Y/n is attempting to get kidnapped

Cool kid
Yuh 🙂🔫

Shalnark
Wtf is with the emojis-

Cool kid
🗡🦄

Mom
Tf?

Cool kid
Idk-

Cool kid
I'm bored-

Cool kid
Oop- breakfast is done-

Cool kid
Bye ✌️

Cool kid
Also I haven't fucked Illu yet dw 😘

Cool kid is now offline

Shalnark
Yet???

Hisoka
Illu?~

Word count: 1827

Fun Facts:

• Motivation go from 100-0 real quick- so sorry if updates are really slow, I'm trying to write as much as possible. It's also been a hella busy week-

• Me- *forgets about Y/n having to text the troupe*
Me- ..oh well, Y/n forgets now
Me- and that's how you make quality content guys!
Step 1- be an idiot
Step 2- there is no step 2

• Secretly I've been slowly manipulating all of you into thinking I'm funny >:3 *Insert evil laughter*